Social media and photos of your child

ballofmeat · May 2016

I know this topic has been discussed in other threads a few times here and there in reference to a Facebook group. But I just wanted to know what STMs currently are sharing of their little ones on social media and what FTMs plan on doing.

DH and I are totally on the fence if we will share photos of our LO on any social media accounts. It makes me uneasy that on Facebook I will see a photo of a child I do not know pop up in my feed that one of my friends has "liked." It makes me wonder if I post photos of my child and one of my friends like it, could one of their friends potentially see it who I don't know?

I feel like Facebook used to be a lot easier to manage the privacy settings. You used to be able to make your name completely non-searchable if you wanted and now that's not an option. The best is to make you searchable by friends of friends only. And whose to say that Facebook doesn't change their privacy settings in the future?

Also a few years ago my dog had his own Instagram account and was public and had about 13k followers. Then one day there was this user who claimed it was her dog, stole my photos, and made her own account. She changed his name (to snowball. Ew) and kept saying that she was the real owner. I ended up taking down his IG account because of it. It really freaked me out because even if I made my account private and her account was reported. She still had copies of those photos and kept making new accounts that my IG friends would message me about.

I actually found a real article about this, except even scarier, with children's photos.

https://indianapolis.citymomsblog.com/kids/toddlers/my-son-was-a-victim-of-baby-role-play/

Also with some recent posts on this BMB and other boards, it still makes me think someone is waiting in the weeds catfishing.

beenabee · May 2016

FTM - I agree, I feel like Facebook used to be a lot more private and secure and it makes me kinda uneasy that other people I don't know could potentially see a photo of mine of my child that wasn't intended for other than my Facebook friends to see. That being said, I still plan on posting photos of my baby on social media.

Also, that's so freaky about your dog on Instagram. If you're worried about that happening again maybe watermark your images? I would be very freaked out and kinda pissed if someone was taking my images claiming they were theirs!!

ballofmeat · May 2016

@BrunetteBabe722

I find it really ironic that as I posted this, you posted about the Facebook page ha!

I know the example of my dog photos getting stolen were mild in comparison of what could happen to children's photos. I can't imagine if someone was claiming my child was theirs.

beenabee · May 2016

@midwestbaby I know! I thought maybe you posted this because you saw my discussion about the Facebook group but then I saw we posted literally at the exact same time haha

kristynmac · May 2016

This was posted and the mom that stole the pictures of the baby is from the town I live in--she is pretty crazy and had a lot of people fooled, but I am not sure if anything was ever legally done and it would not surprise me at all if she created another account and did this to some other family.

https://mkcoker.blogspot.com/2016/01/an-open-letter-to-woman-using-my.html

I have said this before, but I do not have Facebook and I would consider getting it if there was a really close group of regulars that I felt I could trust. For right now, I just have Instagram and Twitter and I have both set to private and I plan to keep it that way.

DressageDarling · May 2016

I plan on limiting pictures on Facebook/Instagram. I don't post much in general, mostly pictures of my dog, so it won't be much of a change for me. I will probably post something once the baby is born and then very sporadically after that.

I'm more worried about family members posting pictures without asking. My SILs are big into snap chat, so I plan on telling them we do not want them to use any pictures of the baby on it. I know it will be an awkward conversation since I am not close to my in laws, but I want to make sure our privacy is respected.

bearsandbeets7 · May 2016

Probably not what you want to hear but a girl I went to high school with had her photos stolen and then photos of both of her kids stolen after she had them. The girl used a different name but posted the pictures of my friend and her kids like it was her and her kids. I think she went to the police dept about it because she kept reporting the account and the girl would just make new ones.

That being said I post pictures of DD here and there but I never check us in places when we are there or post about what we are doing or where we are when we are actually out and about. I would never post what school they go to or any info like that because while I know who I'm friends with on Facebook there's no telling who my friends are friends with on Facebook.

We have extended family who I like the make sure sees pictures of DD so that's my main reason for posting. I post more on Instagram and that is private.

Ceventa · May 2016

I am horrified after reading those articles. As is I rarely post pictures of DS, now I'm likely to post even less.

ballofmeat · May 2016

I think Instagram does a better job of privacy.

I must confess I don't even know what snap chat is.

I have heard of it, but really don't know what it is all about. Does anyone else ever feel like there is too many darn social media outlets? Maybe that should be my UO tomorrow.

We will definitely make it known to family and friends we don't want our kids posted on their social medics accounts.

@Lynnlove28 @kristynmac
that is scary as heck!

kristynmac · May 2016

@midwestbaby haha, I didn't know what Snap Chat was either and my 11-year-old wanted to get it last weekend. I completely nixed that after a quick google search.

DressageDarling · May 2016

midwestbaby said:
I must confess I don't even know what snap chat is. I have heard of it, but really don't know what it is all about. Does anyone else ever feel like there is too many darn social media outlets? Maybe that should be my UO tomorrow.

*Stuck in box*

I didn't know about it either. My SILs are younger than me, they just graduated from college, and I guess it's really popular. From my understanding, it's a way of sharing photos/videos that can be either sent to an individual or to a group. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. I just don't like the idea of photos being spread to people I don't know and potentially people my SILs barely know.

PeachGal23 · May 2016

These articles are terrifying, and they just further support my own beliefs that my children are not to be present on social media until they decide for themselves at a mature age. I will be a STM, and neither my husband nor I have Facebook. I have Instagram, but I've never posted a photo of my daughter there. It's been a tough battle at times, particularly with some family members who don't understand, but we feel very strongly about our decision to keep our children's photos off of social media. At times I feel guilty about it because I know that it makes my mom so happy to share photos of her family on Facebook, and family members who don't care about their children being online have made comments that belittle our decision. We have to remind my mom A LOT about our rule, and it upsets me that she doesn't seem to respect it at times, but she's otherwise a wonderful grandmother, so I try to take it in stride.

tmk0325 · May 2016

Interesting, I didn't know about the watermarking app. I am going to download that! I used to post a lot on social media when it first came out (I joined facebook back when you needed a college email address to join), but in the last few years have definitely become more selective about what I have been posting. My Instagram account was open up until recently when I read all these stories about the twin mom stealing pictures. I went through my friend list and deleted people I did not know and then made it private. With Instagram, the more you hashtag the more random people can see, so I think I also need to start being a bit more selective with my hastaging as well. Thankfully my friends and family are not oversharers, so I think it will be easy to keep them from posting a lot of unnecessary photos.

tisunge602 · May 2016

This thread and others we've had have definitely made me think more about how much I share on FB and IG. Like @tmk0325, I've been on FB almost from the beginning so there's a ton out there on my page. I think I have my settings fairly private but I'm going to go check right now. I also made my IG account private after reading the last thread we had about this.

One thing I just did last week for our family who wants to see more pictures of DS is I created a shared photo stream on iCloud that's invite only, and it's just our families who are members. Anytime I post on the stream, they get notified, but no one else can see the stream. Fortunately, everyone in my family has iPhones so it works out for us. (Now if the grandparents can just figure out how to use it, haha.)

mmclark10 · May 2016

Like many PP, I use Instagram for any pictures I want to post of DS except on very rare occasions where I may post one to FB. I recently changed my FB profile and cover photos to not include DS because there is not a way (that I could find) to keep those private. I also asked my parents to change their profile pics to not include him. My parents were great about it and they don't post DS on FB but my in-laws do and my brother's girlfriend will sometimes also. Since it only happens a few times a year, I haven't said anything yet.

For this baby, I'm going to be more selective about who we share photos with when we announce to friends and family. With DS, a friend took the picture we sent out by text and posted it to FB... Local businessman in the town we lived in then, former NCAA college athlete and all around popular guy. I can't even think about who all saw the very first picture of our son on social media without our permission... I wasn't very happy. He won't be getting a picture this time.

Bookhousegirl · May 2016

I don't post pictures often, mainly because I'm not super active on social media in general. I'm private on Instagram and as private as possible on Facebook. No one in our family posts much on either site, so it hasn't been an issue so far. MIL and my mom have probably posted a total of 5 pictures of DS and none are anything I wouldn't post myself so I don't mind.

We have had a photo stream on iCloud since DS was born and that has been awesome. Our family and close friends are subscribed and we can post as many pictures as we want there without fear of them getting out or annoying people on social media

I highly recommend it as a picture sharing platform.

Sekerambo · May 2016

I got rid of my old fb a few years back and opened a new one so I could keep it locked down and limit who could access my page. I limit it to close family and friends. I also don't tag places or hashtag anything (or any other way my pictures would be made public). A few friend and family have posted pics of my dd but they are few and far between.

BritMC18 · May 2016

FTM here - both my husband and I have the strictest privacy settings you can have on Facebook and keep our respective friend lists to close friends and family only. I also maintain a private Instagram w/ very few close friends/family following. We do plan on posting the occasional photo of the baby, but we won't be tagging any of the grandparents in the photos since they all have very large friends lists w/ random peoples (I'm talking 800+ friends, who seriously knows that many people on a personal level?).

I'm not a total scrooge, and will allow them to announce the baby has been born (but w/ no personal info besides first name) and post a photo of them w/ the baby, but after that, nothing else.

Edited to add: like @Bookhousegirl we have a private iCloud account that we have used to share ultrasound/belly pix w/ grandparents/close friends and will use that to share photos of the baby.

AliKay20 · May 2016

midwestbaby said:

I know this topic has been discussed in other threads a few times here and there in reference to a Facebook group. But I just wanted to know what STMs currently are sharing of their little ones on social media and what FTMs plan on doing.

DH and I are totally on the fence if we will share photos of our LO on any social media accounts. It makes me uneasy that on Facebook I will see a photo of a child I do not know pop up in my feed that one of my friends has "liked." It makes me wonder if I post photos of my child and one of my friends like it, could one of their friends potentially see it who I don't know?

I feel like Facebook used to be a lot easier to manage the privacy settings. You used to be able to make your name completely non-searchable if you wanted and now that's not an option. The best is to make you searchable by friends of friends only. And whose to say that Facebook doesn't change their privacy settings in the future?

Also a few years ago my dog had his own Instagram account and was public and had about 13k followers. Then one day there was this user who claimed it was her dog, stole my photos, and made her own account. She changed his name (to snowball. Ew) and kept saying that she was the real owner. I ended up taking down his IG account because of it. It really freaked me out because even if I made my account private and her account was reported. She still had copies of those photos and kept making new accounts that my IG friends would message me about.

I actually found a real article about this, except even scarier, with children's photos.

https://indianapolis.citymomsblog.com/kids/toddlers/my-son-was-a-victim-of-baby-role-play/

Also with some recent posts on this BMB and other boards, it still makes me think someone is waiting in the weeds catfishing.

Stop it! My dog has his own insta!!! Ahhhh.

AliKay20 · May 2016

tmk0325 said:

Interesting, I didn't know about the watermarking app. I am going to download that! I used to post a lot on social media when it first came out (I joined facebook back when you needed a college email address to join), but in the last few years have definitely become more selective about what I have been posting. My Instagram account was open up until recently when I read all these stories about the twin mom stealing pictures. I went through my friend list and deleted people I did not know and then made it private. With Instagram, the more you hashtag the more random people can see, so I think I also need to start being a bit more selective with my hastaging as well. Thankfully my friends and family are not oversharers, so I think it will be easy to keep them from posting a lot of unnecessary photos.

I just read about that mom who took bunch of some other couple's twins' pics* and blogged about them as if they were her kids!!

This def makes me weary of joining any group/posting pics of LO. Creepers may be closer than we realize.

Edited to add *pics*

Ceventa · May 2016

Bookhousegirl said:

I don't post pictures often, mainly because I'm not super active on social media in general. I'm private on Instagram and as private as possible on Facebook. No one in our family posts much on either site, so it hasn't been an issue so far. MIL and my mom have probably posted a total of 5 pictures of DS and none are anything I wouldn't post myself so I don't mind.

We have had a photo stream on iCloud since DS was born and that has been awesome. Our family and close friends are subscribed and we can post as many pictures as we want there without fear of the out or annoying people on social media I highly recommend it as a picture sharing platform.

@Bookhousegirl We tried this photo sharing stream with my inlaws since they were living out of town at the time that we had DS and unfortunately it did not work out well. Thankfully your family and friends have been conscious of not posting on social media. My inlaws, however, saw the photo sharing stream as a free pass to upload those photos all over Facebook and Instagram which sent me through the roof. Even after we explained the purpose of the photo stream they kept doing it. I ended up eliminating it completely and only sending them images I had already posted. They threw a fit as I expected, but it is what it is.

ballofmeat · May 2016

That would make me so mad! @Ceventa

I think DH and I have decided we will not be posting any photos of our LO on any social media. We will just send out maybe a monthly update to close family and friends via email with a few cute photos. I do some photography on the side and would love be to able to share some of those. Hopefully our family respects our wishes for those photos to not be posted.

Bookhousegirl · May 2016

@Ceventa yikes, that would make me nuts!! I'm actually surprised my MIL hasn't done that, but we did have to block people from posting on it, because she kept "accidentally" posting pictures of herself on the stream *eyeroll*.

Ceventa · May 2016

@Bookhousegirl LOL too funny

SkiChic626 · May 2016

I typically only use instagram to post pictures of DD, and I don't make albums on FB anymore like I did in the hay day of partying and drinking nights haha. But I do share occasional photos, they're usually in spurts when we have a vacation or something and then I won't post much for a while. I don't really hashtag, either. There's some scary crap out there that happens, but in general I don't think it's a huge deal to post pics here and there.

Also, if you use Shutterfly, they have a share site that links with your account - it's really easy to use. That could also be an easy option for sharing pics if you don't want to use traditional social media.

tmk0325 · May 2016

@SkiChic626 yes to shutterfly! I've been uploading pics to it since 2003, I just noticed the other day when I went back to look at a few older photos. I also love their app, makes it super easy to upload photos from you phone with just a click of a button!

Alygohome · May 2016

I post photos of dd on fb. No naked, no gross (poop ect) no ones that should be private (sitting on toilet, sick ect) and I only post a few every month if that. Her photo are used by a professional photographer for advertising. I don't care about strangers seeing a few photos of my kid as long as they are respectful of her body and the fact that she may see/read anything I post in the future. Also- respectful of my friends. No one needs to see her epic blow out or snotty nose while they are browsing fb!

tinkerbell11210 · May 2016

I post picks of DD currently on FB. I am not a daily poster by any means. I usually only post for events or an outing that we had. I have privacy settings set as does DH. I will post a few of this DD as well and will ask that no one post about her until after I have posted that she has arrived.

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