January 2017 Moms

"Hiding" pregnancy before 12 weeks

moonlady-2moonlady-2 member
edited May 2016 in January 2017 Moms
I'm not disclosing my pregnancy just yet (I'm only 5 weeks). Normally, I'm not one to turn down a drink. Obviously things have changed and I'm not drinking. If I'm around my friends/family and I decline, they will surely suspect something. Luckily I don't have much planned for a while, but my mom is getting married next weekend in a very small wedding with an intimate dinner and there will be champagne etc.

What are you guys doing in these types of situations? I don't want everyone to know yet but I feel like declining will make it obvious...What are your plans for these types of situations? I can't be the only one, can I? I know this may seem silly, but I'm actually stressing about it lol...


31 years young
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---





Re: "Hiding" pregnancy before 12 weeks

  • I work very closely with 3 ladies (who all knew I was pregnant before I told them the first time around). This time I am making sure to throw them off my trail. Last week I made it seem like my period had appeared (and even took some supplies into the bathroom). I have also been bringing in my coffee cup with a different drink inside. When at parties, I ask the bartender to make it a virgin, but put it in the same glass they would for alcohol. Hope this helps!
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  • canavaracanavara member
    edited May 2016
    This might be a really dense suggestion--but with the champagne, assuming it's served for a toast, you could probably get by taking a drink of it and then discreetly spitting it back out. You could also use the old "I'm on antibiotics" excuse. Or the "I have a headache and took tylenol for it" excuse.

    That said, there's plenty of completely normal reasons to decline alcohol that have nothing to do with pregnancy. I think it only really becomes obvious when the person doing the declining acts nervous about it and draws attention to the fact. I can think of many times before pregnancy that I have turned down drinks because I wasn't feeling well and no one thought a thing of it.
  • LecoolLecool member
    You could always say that you're on a new diet that restricts alcohol. 

    Me: 28 | DH: 31
    Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
    TTC #1 since November 2015
    BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17

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  • If you drink pop, ask for a sprite or a seltzer water in a cocktail glass with a lime on the rim. You can say it's a vodka soda or a gin and tonic...I did this the other night and it works wonders!

    Granted, if you'll be around people you know well who you will later announce your pregnancy to, you may want to later tell them that you were actually only drinking sprite those times before and that you weren't drinking booze while you knew you were preggers! :smile: 

    Computer Hope
    TTC January 2016
    BFP May 17, 2016
    DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon
        

  • KarliQ88KarliQ88 member
    edited May 2016
    My hubby helped me with it the other day. We went to someone's house and they just handed me a drink. I took a sip as i gave my husband the look of "help". Husband drank mine when noone was looking.  Maybe with the warm weather you can say "oh maybe later. Right now i could go for a lemonade or a water."

    I also like the diet idea mentioned earlier. Even if you don't need to diet you could say your on some detox/body cleanse or something

  • Carly79Carly79 member
    The champagne is tough (but some decent suggestions here) but in general, if you have the opportunity to go to the bar before you go to your table to order your drink that works well. Ask them for something without alcohol (7up and grenadine, cranberry juice, etc) but ask them to put it in a glass they would an alcoholic drink. Then just take it to your table and nurse it, then you don't have to worry about ordering in front of people. I had a boss do this and we never knew until she told us she was pregnant. I've gone through this a lot but I've been turning down drinks so long while trying that people don't think much of it anymore. Just do it like it's not a big deal, don't feel like you have to make excuses and hopefully someone doesn't directly ask you. They may not even notice.

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  • Nini422Nini422 member
    edited May 2016
    I totally understand how you feel. I was hoping to have my first appt prior to my bff's wedding, but thats not going to happen. I will be 8wk by then, so I might just tell her and my mom will be down than so I can  just make a announcement then, but I don't want to take the spotlight off my BFF.  :#
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  • Your situation is tough being a small intimate wedding. I'd have to agree with PP and go with ordering a drink that looks like a liquor drink and just nurse it. As for the champagne, you can always do the toast, pretend to take a sip, then set it down and go back to your "liquor drink." 

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  • I would pretend to take a sip then go to bathroom and dump it in sink. Or have hubby drink it. Good luck!
  • Drove2uDrove2u member
    I was at a communion party and got a virgin Bloody Mary. Sometimes I say I drank way too much the night before and can't even THINK about alcohol right now. Get a beer and spill it out in the bathroom and refill with water. Also if you take a couple of sips of champagne or wine it's fine. 
  • I've had the same concern! I've had DH "take one for the team" and drink for two a couple times now. Just order the same drink and sit next to each other and keep switching out the glasses. I don't think anyone has caught on! I'm a little worried about a work happy hour I have to go to soon. It's trickier when by yourself and having to fly by the seat of your pants. 
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  • I've never really been a big fan of drinking. We had a few vacations (one involving family) while we were TTC. I limited myself to a glass of wine a day and nobody thought anything of it. Those trips were prior to ovulation though, so there was no way I would have been pregnant.

    Otherwise, people usually ask why I don't drink when we go out - not that I usually do, but I guess it's the thing to do around here. They'll tell me how great this glass of wine is and how much I would enjoy it. I just smile and say "no, thank you, I don't drink much." I haven't received any suspecting eyes yet.
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