My SIL taught my daughter disrespectful phrases.

Re: My SIL taught my daughter disrespectful phrases.

• dufferoo member

  March 2016

  I must be missing something becase I totally don't get how "No way Jose!" is disrespectful, bu I'll go ahead and answer your questions. How do you break the habit? Well, if it's truly worth it to you, you could do it just like you'd extinguish any other behavior: Tell your daughter that even though her aunt thinks they are funny, that she is not allowed to say phrases x, y or z (be super specific) and if she continues to do so, she'll get a timeout (or whatever is your preferred consequence), then be super vigilant about actually administering that punisment each and every time she breaks the rule. If she's mature enough to reason with, you might also try to explain why you don't like those phrases so perhaps she can begin to generalize. As far as approacing the SIL, I think the least confrontational way to do it is with a heay dose of humility, putting the blame all on yourself and off her: "Hey, you know I love the bond you have with my daughter, but I have to confess that I am superweird and old-fashioned about the way she speaks, so can you pretty please avoid teaching her how to say cute and funny little sayings like 'No way, Jose!'?" Then expect her to roll her eyes and be prepared to explain where you draw the line of disrespect.

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• weebok34 member

  March 2016

  I know it sounds like an innocent phrase, but when myself, my husband or another adult ask her to do something, for example, pick up her toy "no way, Jose!" isn't so cute or funny. In the past she would happily pick up the toy, now? "Now way, Jose!"  I guess I am "super weird" or something for wanting my child to do as they are told. 

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• dufferoo member

  March 2016

  Oh right, but in that case, it's not the phrase that's the problem, it's the fact that she's not doing as she's told, right? Sorry, I really wasn't meaing to dis you, I just think I misunderstood the question.

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• TwizBeans member

  March 2016 edited March 2016

  weebok34 said:

  I know it sounds like an innocent phrase, but when myself, my husband or another adult ask her to do something, for example, pick up her toy "no way, Jose!" isn't so cute or funny. In the past she would happily pick up the toy, now? "Now way, Jose!"  I guess I am "super weird" or something for wanting my child to do as they are told. 

  Don't get defensive, Duff gave great advice. I personally think you are overreacting with the phrase your child is saying and I don't consider it rude at all. I say no way, Jose all the time but that's beside the point. 

  I would do exactly as Duff is suggesting to curb the behavior and then just straight up tell your SIL you don't want your kid saying it. I don't think that talk would be tough at all. Your child is going to pick up a lot of phrases and words you won't think are appropriate so as the mom, it's your responsibility to teach your kid not to say them.

  My 4 year old says "son of a gun" when he gets frustrated over something and I have NO idea where he got that so when he says it, I tell him he's not allowed to. Just stick with it.  
  

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• redfallon member

  April 2016

  dufferoo said:

  Oh right, but in that case, it's not the phrase that's the problem, it's the fact that she's not doing as she's told, right? Sorry, I really wasn't meaing to dis you, I just think I misunderstood the question.

  You didn't misunderstand the question. 
  
  The OP never mentioned her daughter was refusing to do things she was told, which is the real issue. 
  
  QFP:
  
  

  weebok34 said:

  My SIL taught my two year old to say things like "No way Jose!" and other disrespectful phrases, and now she is saying to my husband and I as well as other adults. My daughter thinks it's funny because her aunt taught her, but I can't stand having a rude child! How do I break this bad habit?!
  
  Plus how do you approach the aunt and ask her to stop teaching her things like this without offending her?

  
  

  Jamie

  
  

  
  

   

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• MomAMY47 member

  May 2016 edited May 2016

  It sounds like she's saying it in a mean way instead of silly like I'm sure your SIL intended. Just like when my kids tell me "No!", they get a timeout. Just explain to your SIL that your DD is using the phrases disrespectfully so you'd like to refrain from them from now on and maybe even share a story of how when/how she said it. Good luck!

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