FFFC

mommytimesfour · May 2016

Summer vacation is not fun when you're a parent. DS has a week of school left and I'm dreading the 10 weeks he'll have off. I have a lot of fun stuff planned for the summer, but not having to deal with the noise level of my two kids at once until 12:30 pm every day has been great.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

I was feeling a bit guilty for not giving my husband much sexy-time lately, so after my shower this morning we had a quick romp. Then I gave myself a little self-sexy-time, guilt free. It was a great start to my day.

vampirina · May 2016

I frequently stalk random people's baby registries and compare them to my own. It's weirdly fun, and has helped me realize where I have gaps. But I feel like such a stalker/creeper doing it!

ruemcclanahan · May 2016

@PoodleDoodleOoo same!!! I felt like a mega creep too!

Sbrown721 · May 2016

@PoodleDoodleOoo One of my best friends is having a baby in a couple weeks. I stalk hers quite a bit! Do you just stalk random people on BRU or something? How do I stalk random people's registries? Haha I love seeing what people are actually buying off of the registry and what doesn't get bought

Tippy05 · May 2016

I hate my job, I really don't like my boss and the stress is killing me. I work 40 hours a week, often more, have 2 kids at home and just cannot keep up with everything. Right now, I cannot keep up with anything and just want to cry all the time.

I say it's UO only because I've seen before (not necessarily on this board, though it could have been - I can't remember) that "if you don't like your job, quit and do something else". Well, that's not an option right now. I'm the breadwinner and we need my income. DH works for the same company and just got a much better job that is going to be 100% less stressful for him, at the same pay grade. I'm happy for him but so insanely jealous that he can essentially do what he wants for the next year and I'm stuck where I am.

vampirina · May 2016

@Sbrown721 - I stalk the registries of both people I know and randoms! I just search a name on the registry (usually my own) and a list names will come up. I pick one that isn't mine and there you go.

ElcaB · May 2016

I had a bowl of cereal + food truck tacos for dinner last night. I regret nothing.

ajn092 · May 2016

Tippy05 said:

I hate my job, I really don't like my boss and the stress is killing me. I work 40 hours a week, often more, have 2 kids at home and just cannot keep up with everything. Right now, I cannot keep up with anything and just want to cry all the time.

I say it's UO only because I've seen before (not necessarily on this board, though it could have been - I can't remember) that "if you don't like your job, quit and do something else". Well, that's not an option right now. I'm the breadwinner and we need my income. DH works for the same company and just got a much better job that is going to be 100% less stressful for him, at the same pay grade. I'm happy for him but so insanely jealous that he can essentially do what he wants for the next year and I'm stuck where I am.

I'm sorry to hear that you're in this situation. I'm going through something similar (except for the excessive hours). I know you can't change jobs right now but is that an option once your maternity leave is up? What about your husband taking on more responsibility around the house or with the other kids once his stress level goes down? I would recommend speaking with your doctor about your stress, the pressure you're feeling, and the wanting to cry. They may have some good ideas for ways to help manage this as well this helping them provide you with the best care. For example, my stress manifests as not being able to sleep. For several weeks I was only getting 3 - 4 hours per night at least half the week. My doctor told me the stress itself won't affect the baby but puts me at risk for preterm labor (which I have a history of) so she will watch me more closely. Plus, now if I have 2 nights in a row where I can't sleep then she wants me on Tylenol PM. Basically getting a good nights sleep is super important. Do what you need to do to put yourself first so you can take care of those kiddos. Hang in there mama!

vampirina · May 2016

@Tippy05 - I'm sorry about your job situation. I think nearly everyone has been there and I absolutely hate it when people are all "quit and find something else." As if it's really that simple. People have bills, people have location restrictions, sometimes change isn't really an option right now, even if you really want and need change, and I think it's foolish when folks can't recognize that.

Sbrown721 · May 2016

@Tippy05 With all that's on your plate right now, I cannot IMAGINE trying to find the energy to do interviews as well! I wonder if you can start small and slowly work on your resume whenever you get a chance? Hang in there!

AnnaS930 · May 2016

@Tippy05 - as others have expressed, I'm sorry you're in that situation. I hated my job as a retail pharmacist and that was before I had any children, so the work stress/exhaustion was the only source. I am also the breadwinner of the family and would never be able to just "quit" a job without another job in its place... and having a specific location/field to work in means that opportunities are somewhat limited and could take months or years to find a better fit. Luckily I did find a better place for myself when the stars aligned, and I hope the same happens for you. Hang in there as best as you can, and I think the suggestion of having Mr. Tippy do a little extra at home when his work stress is lower is a good place to start!

Thscary · May 2016

@Tippy05 I really feel for you, that's a terrible situation to be in. I wish I could offer you some advice but I have none so I just wanted to offer some support

crispy11 · May 2016

I haven't been around much to post because I have been working a ton, but I am trying to come on here more so that when the facebook group happens, whoever is in charge will be like "oh I know cripsy, she's good" because I loved my facebook group with DD2. Sad, right?

ElcaB · May 2016

@crispy11 (and others), what is the big deal with the FB group? I mean that genuinely. Bumpies mention them all the time --- isn't it pretty much the same as this forum, or is there something magical about them? I'm honestly just curious, since this is my first pregnancy & experience with TB.

crispy11 · May 2016

@Tippy05 I feel you on the working thing. I work way too much and I also have two daughters at home who deserve so much more of my time then they are getting now. I like what I'm doing so that is better than your situation, but I just HATE working this much. I was on night float for the past two weeks and it was over 80 hours each week. It sucks. I have been crying on the way to work because working this much just sucks and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm scared about having a 3rd child and trying to make it work. I have just over 2 more years like this and then I can go part time. Yes, it's a choice for me to be working but I already did 5 years of school (after college) and I have hundreds of thousands of dollars of post college student loans. I want to do this. It's just hard.

Sorry that was a whine, not a confession.

crispy11 · May 2016

ElcaB said:

@crispy11 (and others), what is the big deal with the FB group? I mean that genuinely. Bumpies mention them all the time --- isn't it pretty much the same as this forum, or is there something magical about them? I'm honestly just curious, since this is my first pregnancy & experience with TB.

Oh, it's magical. ;-) Just kidding. I just got to know the women very well. It's much easier for me to post on facebook than TB and we just became a very close knit group.

crispy11 · May 2016

Another confession: as you can see, I overuse the work "just" when typing.

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

ElcaB said:

@crispy11 (and others), what is the big deal with the FB group? I mean that genuinely. Bumpies mention them all the time --- isn't it pretty much the same as this forum, or is there something magical about them? I'm honestly just curious, since this is my first pregnancy & experience with TB.

My April13 FB group is kind of magical. Definitely gotten to know people in mine really well and consider many of them actual friends. I've met and hung out with several as well. Had a playdate with two of them last weekend actually.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

@ElcaB - I'm on FB on my phone pretty frequently while I hate The Bump's mobile app.. so I can be more connected on FB especially while on maternity leave when I don't sit at a computer a few days a week. Also, a lot of us friended each other on FB so you see other posts and pictures and things that aren't shared as often (or aren't easy to share often) here on The Bump. I have a few in my FB group from last time that though we've never met, I consider them actual friends.

ETA: That's not to say that I consider everyone here "not an actual friend" I just find more of a closeness being on FB with people as it's more tied to the real me versus The Bump me.

mom2adoodle · May 2016

I feel like I'm the opposite, I share almost nothing on Facebook (but I'm a texting machine with friends) and think you ladies know a lot more about me than many of my so called "friends" on Facebook. I try to go through and unfriend people who aren't really in my life but sometimes feel badly doing so lol. I think if I pulled the trigger I actually want to pull I would be left with like 50 friends lol

marikkita12 · May 2016

I'm excited for the fb group!! I'm on it constantly and I'm not the biggest fan of the way the bump forums are set up. Plus with the fb group, we can control a little more who is allowed to join and who isn't

Tippy05 · May 2016

crispy11 said:

@Tippy05 I feel you on the working thing. I work way too much and I also have two daughters at home who deserve so much more of my time then they are getting now. I like what I'm doing so that is better than your situation, but I just HATE working this much. I was on night float for the past two weeks and it was over 80 hours each week. It sucks. I have been crying on the way to work because working this much just sucks and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm scared about having a 3rd child and trying to make it work. I have just over 2 more years like this and then I can go part time. Yes, it's a choice for me to be working but I already did 5 years of school (after college) and I have hundreds of thousands of dollars of post college student loans. I want to do this. It's just hard.

Sorry that was a whine, not a confession.

Thanks ladies! I guess mine was more of a whine too, and not a confession. I'm also scared of having a 3rd and trying make all of this work. DH is a big help and we split household stuff pretty evenly, but the stress from work spills over to home and the little time that I am able to spend with my kids is "tainted" because I'm not able to let stuff go when I leave work. I'm always thinking about what I didn't do, or did wrong, or still have to do... it's so stressful and can't be healthy.

I have a masters degree, and want to work and think it's good for the kids to be in daycare, but just can't continue to work in this particular field and for this company. Something has to change, I just don't know what that is...

reesaXden · May 2016

My husband bought a dozen donuts on Wednesday when I had surgery... I may or not have eaten 1/2 of them. Good thing they're gone now!

Also, I'm with @crispy11 I'm on here quite a bit but not always commenting/posting! In the back of my high school mind I'm like "what if they don't let me in the secret group? What if no one recognizes me!"

So mature... I know!

mom2adoodle · May 2016

@reesaXden @crispy11 Hahaha, noooo, I definitely don't think people would be ostracized from Facebook/any secret group if they're semi-regular posters. (Right? Right!? Someone validate me because I don't want to worry about not being "in" either). I remember TTGP had a click while I was there that I never felt I fit in with and I hope that's not the case around these parts. At least, I don't get that sense from anyone. This board is so chill it's almost scary. LOL

toimadness1 · May 2016

Definitely agree with you other ladies who concerned with having a 3rd little one. My first two are almost 6 years apart in age so I don't feel like I ever had to deal with two little ones at the same time. It will definitely be a lot different this time as our second son will only be about 18 months when the baby comes. Plus my husband still is gone half the week for work so I'm very concerned on how I am going to get anything done ever. And to top it off I'm working on getting a nursing residency for this fall to finally put my new degree to use. It just seems like a lot all at once.

I also feel concerned about not participating enough to be accepted. I check the site a lot throughout the day but its usually on my phone, and I like comments more than actually responding as I can't figure out how to quote or tag other people very well.

My FFFC is I haven't done anything around the house this week because my husband was delayed coming home. I was going to do laundry and dishes this morning but instead took a nap.

Thscary · May 2016

My FFFC is that, with four months to go, I still feel clueless about a lot of major birth things. Seeing threads about birth plans, classes, and epidural vs no epidural, makes me realize that I haven't really given much thought to anything birth related yet. I feel so behind, I didn't even know what a birth plan entailed when I first saw it mentioned here

tinypikachu · May 2016

I hope this is not upsetting to anyone but my FFFC is that I used to think that struggling with depression and anxiety and taking meds for it was a first world problem that was completely made up half the time. Until I found myself with the same issue and getting therapy. It sucked feeling like I had no emotional intelligence and just couldn't control my mind and thought process and definitely had moments when I told myself I was seriously going crazy. I now have the utmost respect for anyone struggling with this. I obviously realized that this is a very serious problem and feel bad for ever thinking that way, it's sad that I did and that others still do.

Edit wording

SuperFudge00 · May 2016

I wish I could go part time. I'm jealous of those moms who can or who get to be SAHMs. Not an option as I am the primary here. I don't think I would leave the workforce because I don't want to delay my career progression, but I would love to only work 2 days a week.

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

Thscary said:

My FFFC is that, with four months to go, I still feel clueless about a lot of major birth things. Seeing threads about birth plans, classes, and epidural vs no epidural, makes me realize that I haven't really given much thought to anything birth related yet. I feel so behind, I didn't even know what a birth plan entailed when I first saw it mentioned here

There are plenty of people who did nothing to prepare and just rely on their OBs and the nurses to guide them and have perfectly fine deliveries. I'm too much of a control freak to do that. Four months is plenty of time to prepare, if you want to. There's a plethora of info out there. I know it's overwhelming but it won't be after awhile.

VeraMali · May 2016

@Thscary don't worry even those of us who have gone through this before are clueless when it comes to this birth. You never know what's going to happen or how it's going to happen when it comes to childbirth. Even those that read every book, print out detailed birth plans on fancy paper & take all the birthing classes in the world are still going to be just as prepared as you are the day it actually happens. My advice is to prepare for the baby but just let the birth happen.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

I work 4 days a week (34 hours) and maintain my full time status and benefits but feel like 3 days home with my son is a better fit for me than 2 days would be. I'm super grateful that my boss was willing to work with me on this, but I recommend asking if it's something you think you could swing - couldn't hurt!

SuperFudge00 · May 2016

AnnaS930 said:

I work 4 days a week (34 hours) and maintain my full time status and benefits but feel like 3 days home with my son is a better fit for me than 2 days would be. I'm super grateful that my boss was willing to work with me on this, but I recommend asking if it's something you think you could swing - couldn't hurt!

My full time is 3 - 12 hour shifts with 4 days off.

Thurstobertay · May 2016

My FFFC is that I deactivated my Facebook around a month ago and I think it's been beneficial for me on the whole, but I'm drawing back from this group because I know it's inevitably going to die & transition over to FB. Not sure how to reconcile staying away from Facebook with being an active S16 member and it's a bummer.

MojieJo · May 2016

I really hope our BMB doesn't die out. I have a FB account that I use occasionally and that I check fairly regularly, but I'm not a big FB fan and mostly read, rarely post. I'd be sad if people abandoned ship for FB.

And, I admit, I'm also afraid I won't be invited to play with the cool kids.

Cricket Bug · May 2016

@Thurstobertay @MojieJo No FaceBook here either, for almost 4 years now! It was such a relief actually to deactivate my account and move on with real life. If everyone does make the jump, at least there will be a few of us to keep this group going!!

SarahDarah333 · May 2016

I'm one of those day too late people, I know (sorry), but it's because my damned WiFi has been down for THREE DAYS. And I can't reset it because it's our landlord's WiFi. So I've now got like a thousand posts to catch up reading. *sigh* Have to talk to her before I have the baby because I'm supposed to be working from home after he arrives for a few months, and that requires WiFi.

Thurstobertay · May 2016

Ohhh my goodness I'm so glad I'm not the only one! @MojieJo I think I had Facebook habits similar to yours when I still had my account. I mostly lurked, and rarely posted – maybe 3-4 times a year. I really couldn't force myself to post more than that because I wasn't OK with having too many photos online (MIL is a gratuitous over-sharer) and otherwise I just didn't have much to say. When I did post/share/like/etc. it seemed like I got into trouble. I don't know if anyone remembers, but I had a long bitchfest earlier this pregnancy after a GIL smackdown arrived when I liked an article from The Onion.

@Cricket Bug Have you found that not having a Facebook is something you can mostly get around, or has affected you in other ways? Any tips for the post-social world?

So far all I've experienced has been weird questions or statements from family such as "why'd you block me?" "people will think you're a serial killer!" and "you'll never be able to find another job!" (I still have a LinkedIn account, though I'll probably phase that out for a WordPress-based portfolio on my own domain). Otherwise I've just been worried about social ramifications like those I described in my last post.

geminigirl16 · May 2016

I am one of those persons who rarely posts on Facebook either but I keep it as its a good way to keep up with people/family who do. In fact, I just announced my pregnancy very simply on Wednesday at 23 weeks as I'd had people asking why I hadn't yet.

That being said, I'd be interested in joining the FB group though. I don't always post frequently but I do learn a lot from all you ladies. I am also little shy and sometimes when I feel I have thoughts or comments to add feel like threads have moved on already or I am too late. Regardless, it's really nice to have an online network of women all in a similar situation. And I think as Annas930 said, the FB app is much better than TB!

Cricket Bug · May 2016

@Thurstobertay I honestly didn't notice much difference in my life, as the people I wanted to keep in contact with I had established other avenues like text and email or *gasp* picking up the phone.

I got to the point that I was sick of random people liking and commenting on pictures and posts, then if I happened to run into them in real life being horribly awkward. It is worth mentioning that I am quite an introvert, so found the cut off from false 'relationships' relieving. The people that knew me well enough to call friends just adapted to the new methods of communication, and those that didn't, faded away without a peep. I have a website for my business, and rely on local advertising and word of mouth, so I don't find that my professional life has suffered at all either.

ETA: I was never accused of appearing to be a serial killer. Hahaha

noelani42 · May 2016

I really am hoping for a Facebook group as well that I will be included in because my S13 one has been so valuable to me....

FFFC

Re: FFFC

Choose Another Board

Search Boards