My shower was a success. There were too many pictures to choose from. Even though the cake had Jaxon's name mispelled it was still delicious and so cute. I was overwhelmed with how much love and support I'm getting from both my family and the BF's. Now just 2 short months until his arrival!
Etiquette question: One of my good friends is able to make it to my shower, and she is vegan. The shower is going to be at a carnival themed restaurant and event space, with all the junk food you can imagine (corn dogs, elephant ears, cupcakes, fried oreos, you get the drill). I already was planning on picking her up a vegan cupcake so she can at least have a dessert, but since the shower is right in the middle of lunch (12-3) should I also pick her up a little something to munch on? I don't think it would be too difficult to, but I also wanted to see what was expected of me.
@dolewhipper I don't have any dietary restrictions but DD gets eczema from wheat and soy, so I deal with restrictions for her food. I tend to pack our own food or make sure she eats before we get there, unless I know there will be options for her. I have to say, though, a good friend of mine recently invited us to her DD's birthday party. She texted me to tell me that there would be lots of fruit/veggies and a meat/cheese tray DD could eat from, and that she had picked up a special cupcake just for DD that met her dietary restrictions so she wouldn't feel left out when all the other kids got cake. I was super touched by her thoughtfulness, especially with the cupcake as she really went out of her way to arrange that for DD.
All that to say, I don't think you necessarily have to provide special food as I'm sure she's used to not being able to eat at some events, but I think the extra effort of making sure there is food she can eat will mean a lot.
Etiquette question: One of my good friends is able to make it to my shower, and she is vegan. The shower is going to be at a carnival themed restaurant and event space, with all the junk food you can imagine (corn dogs, elephant ears, cupcakes, fried oreos, you get the drill). I already was planning on picking her up a vegan cupcake so she can at least have a dessert, but since the shower is right in the middle of lunch (12-3) should I also pick her up a little something to munch on? I don't think it would be too difficult to, but I also wanted to see what was expected of me.
All that to say, I don't think you necessarily have to provide special food as I'm sure she's used to not being able to eat at some events, but I think the extra effort of making sure there is food she can eat will mean a lot.
I was trying to bold that last part, but mobile bumping is hard. But that is the gist of what I was going to say
Me: 32, DH: 38
Married 1/14/12
NTNP Since 12/13, TTC Since 1/15
BFP: 11/4/15 Found out we were having TWINS 12/9/15 EDD: 7/11/16 Born: 6/29/16
Baby shower was on Sunday! I'll post more pics when I get them, I didn't take any and my mom hadn't sent the others to me yet but here's one of me and my youngest sister who wanted to help me open all the presents!
@theshannondee it was great! My cousin made amazing cupcakes and my mom surprised me with some old friends I haven't seen in like ten years. It was exciting!
DH surprised me at the weekend with a mini shower. Balloons, food and cake. Very basic but a lovely surprise to come home to. Everyone wrote down if they think baby is a boy or girl
Ok so our shower is supposed to be June 4th. We are a little leery about still having one as we would need to be away from baby for a while. We thought about canceling but people still want to have a shower for us. It was suggested to wait until after baby comes home but then we can't do it until she is at least 4 months old and we would need to buy all the stuff before then anyway. Plus, the hall has already been paid for.
I don't want to sound greedy, but if people want to buy us stuff anyway, why would we buy it all ourselves (especially now knowing our medical bills will be astronomical)?
Is it weird to have a shower now that baby is already here? Should we just cancel it and buy it all ourselves? Ergh. I know this doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things but I'm so torn on what to do.
@MamaBish Have the shower! I know of people who have planned showers for after baby's arrival, and it seems perfectly acceptable. Besides, it's not like people are any less excited to celebrate you and Savannah now that she's here as opposed to when she was in your belly. Unless you feel like you can't be away from her that day, I see no reason to cancel. Party on!
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
@MamaBish You deserve that shower!! Don't feel bad or greedy, as long as you feel comfortable leaving her. I'm sure people can't wait to spoil you both!!
@MamaBish Have your shower and enjoy it! A friend of mine had her twins at 28 weeks, well before her scheduled shower. We still had the shower for her, and made sure to help her get everything set up for when the babies finally came home.
@MamaBish 100% have the shower! A family friend of mine just told me a story about how she gave birth on the day of her shower. Baby came a month early. So while she was in labor the shower still happened. Her mom and mil set up the pack n play in their house and filled it with the gifts from the shower. I think you should still have the shower whether you and your husband are there or not! People will want to celebrate you and Savannah!
@MamaBish Have the shower! I know of people who have planned showers for after baby's arrival, and it seems perfectly acceptable. Besides, it's not like people are any less excited to celebrate you and Savannah now that she's here as opposed to when she was in your belly. Unless you feel like you can't be away from her that day, I see no reason to cancel. Party on!
WSS. Unless you don't want to be away from the baby that long, go and celebrate your precious little girl!
@MamaBish still have your shower if you feel up to it. It will be a wonderful way for everyone to welcome here now that she is actually here! Don't feel bad or greedy people want to shower you three with love and support !
Have the shower! It will be nice for you to be surrounded by people who love you. Plus this way when you are not at the hospital you can be getting things ready at home. Just bring lots of pictures of savannah for everyone to ogle!
@MamaBish Just echoing what everyone else said- totally have the shower if you are comfortable being away from her. Spending some time with loved ones is really nice, bring lots of pictures
@MamaBish - definitely still have the shower! My cousin's wife had HELLP syndrome and baby was born at 31 weeks and they still had their shower. I had a coworker who delivered early and they ended up having her shower without her because she was still in the hospital. People want to celebrate Savannah and your family's happiness and that is not in any way diminished by when she decided to come into the world!
@MamaBish I agree with what everyone else has said. If you're feeling up to it, definitely have the shower. I'm sure all of your loved ones will want to celebrate her arrival as well as get together to show their support.
@mamabish - I don't think it's weird at all. Have, and enjoy, your shower. Baby girl is in good hands and you can go back to the hospital afterwards and tell her all about it.
@MamaBish Have the shower! Last year my SIL had her baby around the same time she was supposed to have her shower (he was born at 29 weeks) and we just had a shower for her later on
My shower is tomorrow, hosted by my sweet SIL, and it was so close to being completely drama free but my mom was out of the country for 6 weeks and just got home last week, and when I was out with her the other day she asked which of her friends we had invited and I told her none. She had been there when we made the list and had said that she thought one of her friends would probably want to throw me a shower so we didn't need to invite them to this one, but then none of her friends ended up offering to throw one and she forgot that we had decided not to invite any of them. Now she's worried that they will all be offended that they weren't invited to a baby shower so I guess she's going to throw one with her best friend (under the guise that it's just her friend throwing it, because I guess it's tacky if she throws it herself?) and she and my SIL apparently had a spat a few weeks ago and she's worried that my SIL will be upset that she went ahead and invited her best friend to the shower tomorrow. She's kind of a people pleaser and has gotten so worried about this! It's not a big deal ma!!!! My goodness.
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
Me: 31 DH:35 Started TTC in June 2014 Started seeing RE in June 2015 HSG in July 2015 = normal, started Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI cycle in August 2015 Cycle #3 in October afforded 1st month of mature follicles - underwent IUI BFP on 10/27/15 - EDD 7/8/16 DD#1 born on 7/1/16
TTC #2 in September 2018 BFP on 12/2/18 - EDD 8/16/19
Team Green!
winnie1122 my mom throw my baby shower. I would actually expect that to be normal. My MIL is throwing me one in June as well. Maybe your mom just wants to be catered to as well?
Married: August 2012
TTC #1: July 2015
BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
@winnie1122@BeachTigress maybe it's a southern thing or a Texas thing but my mom stressed a lot about not hosting my shower by herself too. Much planning and tactics ensued when her friend's conflicts meant she had to bow out of throwing a shower for me. Mom and other friend throwing one for me now, and if I didn't know how much this darn shower meant to my mom I would have forgone any shower. Manners can suck sometimes, especially when contrived and not at all about making everyone comfortable. The idea is that it is self serving to throw your daughter a party meant for peops to buy her stuff. Huh? What are birthday parties? And why can't we say no gifts just celebrate the happy new life? But no that would be crass... Hmph
@ktomorrow That's what I thought too, but she says it's not done around here so I guess it's considered tacky? I don't see the issue with it. She just doesn't want her friends to be mad at her for not being included (I think her friends aren't really the best friends to her anyways, but I also know them, so I understand why she's worried about it.) I just think she shouldn't worry about it because it's not a big deal, and I definitely don't need another shower, but I'm not going to add to the drama so I'll let her do her thing. It's just silly to me.
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
@winnie1122 we've had issues about that too with my MIL! She wanted her friends invited, even people we've never met before. That seemed tacky to me but whatever, it's at her house and she can do whatever she wants. I will let her do her thing, like you said. It's just all too much to me. AND from what I hear most of those people didn't even RSVP.
I think the rules for shower etiquette are bent a little when it comes to a premie, especially a micro one. I would never ever judge or bat an eye for a family to have a baby shower while their child is in the NICU. I have actually been invited to a few (former patients ).
Huh might be a Washington thing too. My mother and sister are throwing my shower which is tomorrow. But the official hostess is a church friend and the event will be at her house.
I think traditionally you're mother or MIL is not supposed to throw your shower. It's similar to the brides parents paying for the entire wedding- some people still do it that way but most people don't.
@DarkCat my mom and best friend are hosting mine tomorrow so today I am taking them both to get pedicures. I figured it would be something fun we could do before the shower and we can all get pampered! I'm looking forward to the foot massage more than having my toe nails painted
@DarkCat I got my mom and mother-in-law Alex and Ani bracelets that say Grandmom. I got my sister two bracelets (one that says Aunt and one that says Mom because she is also due very soon).
I don't think everyone gets hostess gifts and, if you do, it doesn't have to be big. Anything to say thank you will be appreciated.
Re: Baby Showers
All that to say, I don't think you necessarily have to provide special food as I'm sure she's used to not being able to eat at some events, but I think the extra effort of making sure there is food she can eat will mean a lot.
I don't want to sound greedy, but if people want to buy us stuff anyway, why would we buy it all ourselves (especially now knowing our medical bills will be astronomical)?
Is it weird to have a shower now that baby is already here? Should we just cancel it and buy it all ourselves? Ergh. I know this doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things but I'm so torn on what to do.
What would you do?
comfortable leaving her. I'm sure people can't wait to spoil you both!!
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016
Started TTC in June 2014
Started seeing RE in June 2015
HSG in July 2015 = normal, started Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI cycle in August 2015
Cycle #3 in October afforded 1st month of mature follicles - underwent IUI
BFP on 10/27/15 - EDD 7/8/16
DD#1 born on 7/1/16
TTC #2 in September 2018
BFP on 12/2/18 - EDD 8/16/19
Team Green!
July16 JULY siggy challenge
I have actually been invited to a few (former patients ).
I don't think everyone gets hostess gifts and, if you do, it doesn't have to be big. Anything to say thank you will be appreciated.