my parents are suuuuuuuch flawed people. They are a mess of addiction and codependence but functional and well off and think their organized house and nice things means they have it together. Meanwhile my other two siblings are selfish brats who can barely function as adults. They codependently take care of their needs keeping them from ever becoming self sufficient. I refuse that sort of dynamic and have worked hard to keep that out of my home but they have very little respect for me. They want to be who they are and stay in denial of the wake of destruction they leave in their path (my brother is a violent, terrible, drug addict). But they are my parents and they are part of my life and they LOVE DS and there is potential for there to be a good relationship there. It's just SO MUCH work on my part to keep things framed in healthy ways with boundaries that they don't respect but don't have a choice in.
BLEEEEEEEH. sorry. that was a pretty real deal but my mom is pissing me off this morning. Luckily DH and I are totally unified in this. And luckily while DH's parents are a handful of a different variety, they do NOT have the addiction/codependence issues running through their family.
@slartybartfastThat sounds like a lot to deal with. My Mom is like that, and although I won't ever cut her out of my life, I have to have limits. My kids love her so I maintain a relationship, but it's stressful and I refuse to get drawn in to her passive aggressiveness. I figure it's the best for my own mental health. Good luck
@JessCL - I know this family dynamic is super common and a lot of people have it going on (though often without the casualties to the extremes that my siblings are). I think it's lucky we've both recognized it and said NOPE. Hopefully we can keep from handing it down the line.
People keep asking me what the sexes of the twins are. I'm 10 weeks. Now I don't know if these people really don't know that you can't see that until 16-20 weeks...or if they think I'm further along....or what. But either way...it's just annoying.
@slartybartfast I have found that most parents suck in some way or other. I am sorry that yours seem to be above and beyond the pale.
My Monday BF is at my son. He has started to have 'night terrors' I think. Anyways, he is waking up at 3 am just screaming. Nothing; bottle, snuggles, rocking, paci, tv, real food; nothing calms him. Then at 3:30 he just fades back into sleep, while I am now wide awake.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@slartybartfast good for you in keeping boundaries! I know that's difficult.
My Monday bitch is that I'm SO nauseous and NEED food but 3 extra patients showed up to clinic today already and our doctor is too nice to refuse them. I thought I could go get 1st lunch by now, but instead I have to stay and do another assessment. Oh well.
@slartybartfast We have similar dynamics on both sides of the family, and it truly sucks. You're right, though---it's lucky we see it because a lot of people don't and continue the cycle into their own families. So kudos to us!
My bitch is that it feels like I'm waiting forever for new job paperwork. The company I'm going to work for is solid, but I hate how slow things go in business sometimes. You have the verbal offer....then finally the "formal" paper offer...then you gotta in-process....bleh. Over it.
Also, I'm at DH's college today so we can hit the gym after his class....and the Starbucks on campus is closed. Um, don't they know that they're supposed to be catering to ME?! I'm pregnant and I make the rules! >:D
My boss is trying to be a complete micromanager and it's really starting to piss me off. My counterpart and I have run things pretty smoothly, and now he's just throwing a complete wrench in everything. He says he's doing it to cover himself with the higher ups, but it's really affecting our production. I had a temper before I got pregnant, and now my fuse is even shorter than before. And I still can't keep food down, so I'm a hungry, nauseous mess. Thank God my counterpart has my back and is taking on some of my work today, even though she is pretty bogged down herself. Now I'm just waiting for my doctor to call in a new scrip to enable to me be able to keep food down. I'm so over this...
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
We got a kitten Saturday, and we got her from someone who found her and couldn't keep her. She is covered in fleas and ticks, smells like a skunk, and is only partially potty trained. I love her to death and I'm definitely working with her on these issues to get her all fixed up, but it's frustrating because this smell is so nauseating at almost 11 weeks pregnant.
We gave her Revolution for the fleas and ticks and they are starting to fall off, so I think we are in the clear there. She is only 8 weeks old so the potty training will come in time the more we work on it. She has only had 2 accidents but they have been on our bed. She can jump up on our bed but can't or won't jump down. So again, it will just take time and consistency in working with her. It's still frustrating though!
This pregnancy rage does not bode well with working in a super fast paced stressful environment. I hate everything and everyone. And I'm pretty sure they know it.
@ashleaf2018 Try soaking your kitten in tomato juice. It will most likely turn her red, but it will help with the smell. At least it did for my old dog.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@Kate08Young She is solid white so I didn't want to do tomato juice because I didn't want it to stain her fur. I called my vet and she said to use baking soda, vinegar, and dawn dish soap and leave it on for a few minutes and then to rinse it with warm soapy water. I'm hoping that works. Otherwise I'll probably have to go buy that deskunk stuff from Petco. I'll do tomato juice if literally nothing else works. The vet even said that it would take months to get it to fully go away, I'm just trying to make it to where I don't smell skunk from across the room! Yuck
Dh's boss decided to call him this morning to say he's on call again this week, along with working night turn. I don't mind parenting alone but it blows when I have first trimester fatigue and teach full time. Deep breaths and fingers crossed there are zero service calls between now and Sunday night! (The money is good but I need a freaking break! And he needs sleep too!)
@slartybartfast family dynamics are exhausting. On my H's side there are loads of addiction/co-dependency, while my side is a lot of rigid religious legalism and some mental health issues. We adore our families but have had to set clear boundaries on both sides, which will always be an uphill battle. It's nice to be a united front, though. It's hard to foster healthy family relationships, especially once kids/grandkids are involved but we've gotten to the point where the responses/reactions of others to our decisions has little effect anymore... Thank God.
My bitch.. my H has really needed to pick up my slack and I know it hasn't been easy. I'm a SAHM mostly and haven't been able to do much of anything. He did ONE load of laundry last week to help me out and it's still in the dryer (it took days for him to even finish it...). Anyway, he says to me yesterday, "you know, I really need you to get a handle on the laundry. I need your help with this." Um, I'm pretty sure I asked for YOUR help with laundry because it's one thing you can do that would lighten my load right now. That one load he did last week is the only load he has done since we moved into our home April 1 but he's apparently just over it. I'm nauseous today and not touching the laundry. So get a handle on that.
@Christinaruth74I feel your pain. My DH and I both work full time and I usually do all the housework, cooking, laundry, etc as well. Since I've been feeling crappy he's been "helping" with dinner clean up - he literally just puts our plates and silverware in the dishwasher after we eat. But he carries on and on about how much he's helping me do "my job." I appreciate the help but loading the dishwasher is not nobel prize worthy. Somehow I am able to keep my mouth shut though because every little thing helps these days.
I hate that I can't focus on work at ALL. It takes just about all my will power just to get a little done... not sure If I can blame pregnancy brain (I'm only 7 weeks) or the drugs from our FET (estrace is a bia). Totally in agreement with the ladies about the DH additional house duties- mine was just gone on a 4 day fishing trip and i did DIDDLY SQUAT around the house and better not hear a word about it!! I also determined that that was his father's day gift. Man this mama could use some wine...so sad that we can't have it when we need it the most!
Oh @Christinaruth74 and @kbduke I would smack a DH up for that crap. Both DH and I work, but our chores are pretty well split. He does all the laundry, thank goodness. And since MS kicked in, I've only changed like two poop diapers. He's really stepped it up with DD and had done all her baths for 2 weeks too. It's probably because I try to remind him of my nausea frequently by threatening to puke on him. I find that disgusting puke threats are vital to keeping a loving marriage functional.
Anyone else having massive mood swings? This is my third pregnancy and with the first two, I was so level headed, peaceful, and calm. This time I am a raving lunatic. I just want to kill everyone. I know that its hormonal, but I'm really starting to wonder how I am going to make it to December without burning everyone I know in my backyard. I'm normally the fun, patient, gentle mom. But lately, my poor kids have not been having fun with me. Will this ever get better? I feel absolutely insane.
@slartybartfast family dynamics are exhausting. On my H's side there are loads of addiction/co-dependency, while my side is a lot of rigid religious legalism and some mental health issues. We adore our families but have had to set clear boundaries on both sides, which will always be an uphill battle. It's nice to be a united front, though. It's hard to foster healthy family relationships, especially once kids/grandkids are involved but we've gotten to the point where the responses/reactions of others to our decisions has little effect anymore... Thank God.
My bitch.. my H has really needed to pick up my slack and I know it hasn't been easy. I'm a SAHM mostly and haven't been able to do much of anything. He did ONE load of laundry last week to help me out and it's still in the dryer (it took days for him to even finish it...). Anyway, he says to me yesterday, "you know, I really need you to get a handle on the laundry. I need your help with this." Um, I'm pretty sure I asked for YOUR help with laundry because it's one thing you can do that would lighten my load right now. That one load he did last week is the only load he has done since we moved into our home April 1 but he's apparently just over it. I'm nauseous today and not touching the laundry. So get a handle on that.
Reply: My phone is stupid and only let's me reply this way. (Sorry) I definitely feel your pain about house work. I have an infant and a toddler and I am a SAHM also. I can't even get my H to out his dirty clothes in the HAMPER 3 FEET FROM THE EDGE OF THE BED WHERE HE THROWS THEM. or put his own dishes in the sink. Or throw away his own trash. When I mention it, he apologizes and does good for one day. Then he's right back into his normal routine. With these hormones and this massive fatigue, I am LOSING MY CRAP. I took at mommy's night out this past weekend (my first EVER), and he did watch the kids. I had the house spotless, laundry to dusting and disinfecting. I come home to a war zone. Then he made a comment to ME about "how the house looks." He has no idea how close he was to death! We have a great marriage but right now I can't deal with the things I normally can! He works a lot but I swear on the one day he's home he should be able to help at least in a minor way arrrghhh!
My BF is there isn't enough time in the day. We're 12 days away from our wedding and I don't have energy to do the last minute stuff. We're also about a month and a bit away from moving and haven't started packing. Best part is after the wedding were on our honeymoon for 10 days. So when we get back it will still be rush mode to get stuff done. Thankfully while we're on our honeymoon we have family that will be helping us pack but with so much on the go my baby brain can't function!
Another BF is that I have a DH who won't plan what to make for dinner in case his preggo wife to be gets a craving. So that's just another thing I have to plan! Blahhhh! At least when the wedding and move is done I'll have 5 months before baby is due to do absolutely nothing aside from work! Well, that and planning the baby room!
@kbduke "your job"? Oh hell no. I would seriously pitch a fit. I'm a SAHM but DH still helps with laundry, dishes and vacuuming. Helps isn't the right word because it implies I'm the only one using dishes, wearing clothes and walking on our floors... This is such a pet peeve of mine. Probably because I wish I could do it all, but with an infant I just can't.
Wow I feel so lucky. DH does all of the cleaning. I absolutely hate cleaning and only do it when a) I'm forced to or b) the mood strikes me. I only handle the dishes, the bathrooms, dusting and the laundry. The kitchen is my domain, so I keep that clean, too. But yeah, he takes care of everything else.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
I have a second BF, it is directed at some of my studentsand our assistant principal. This is finals week, so I have study guides and finals and keys scattered on my lab desk and desk. None of them have names on them, so several of my students got into my room during my lunch and took pictures of all the answer keys, so they have the correct one somewhere. When I caught them red-handed and took them to our ass. principal (head guy is out at a meeting until tomorrow) he just laughed. Stupid SOB! They broke into my room and were trying the damnedest to cheat. So now I am making a completely new test to give tomorrow.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@Kate08Young That is such horseshit that your assistant principal doesn't have your back! I keep trying to write a BF, but they all just come out as a big whine, so cliff notes: feeling like crap and working on budgets. Shoot me.
@doodleoodleI definitely agree. To his defense, I do all of the inside work and he takes care of everything outside so we definitely have the chores split up. He just seems so proud when he does the dishes or whatever other small task he accomplishes to "help" me. I just really think that most husbands in general don't understand how much it really takes to keep up with the cleaning, laundry, etc.
@LinziLoo09 I will say, that's really my only complaint toward him thus far. The man has been a saint in stepping up and has been really lax about meals when I mainly want to eat out these days haha. And yes to the gross threats.. I was quickly making myself a wrap because I was ravenous and he came up behind me to give me a hug and I quickly said, "I'm going to vomit if you stay this close!" But whoremones got me like "keep your mouth shut and we won't have problems"
It is pouring rain today. Only 3 teachers and no admin came outside for car rider dismissal. I got soaked. My shoes were soaked. Socks were soaked. Pants soaked. This is all with an umbrella. I then had a 40 minute drive home and had to go back the babysitter's house.I'm still cold.
Do you ever feel like on your bad days you find a flaw in every person on the face of the earth? Like I hate this person and this person and that person. That's me. Today everyone pissed me off. No matter who it was I couldn't avoid it. I finally came home shut my bedroom door and am currently laying in bed. If DH comes looking for me or for dinner im most likely going to rip his face off. I don't know if pregnancy hormones are raging or what, but I can't stand the human race today.
Me: 29
DH: 30
Happily Ever After: 05-15-2015 TTC since June 2015
my stupid OB office called in my Rx to the wrong pharmacy. now i'm on extended hold trying to get it transferred since i'm not driving all the way across town again. it's such a small thing, but it really makes the difference. why have e-prescribing if you are just going to mess it up? at least with a hard copy script, I can make sure they wrote the drug name, dose and sig correctly (which she also messed up). why does this always happen to me? nine out of 10 e-scripts I have gotten are always effed up
@kbdukeYour job? Wow. Don't get it. Doing the yard work does not seem equal to doing all the housework and cooking. Eeek.
My BF is I have had a splitting headache all day. Also, maybe related, it turns out the new guy (whose office is next door to mine) is a smoker. I can smell it all throughout our little office and it is driving me nucking futs.
@Christinaruth74 I'm glad that DH is helpful in all of the other ways I'm definitely one to get pissy if someone tries to imply that something domestic is automatically my responsibility because of my sex. And I've already found myself frustrated with how I get no credit as a mother, but he gets extra credit as a father. Like we both take her to her doctor's appointments, and the nurses will go on and on about how he's such a great dad. And he really is wonderful; absolutely wonderful. But why, when I'm making an equal/greater contribution am I not hailed as a great mom?! Why shouldn't he be grateful to be with me as well?
Looks like I have another BF - uneven societal expectations for men and women with housekeeping and child raising! I hate you!
...... Looks like I have another BF - uneven societal expectations for men and women with housekeeping and child raising! I hate you!
This. I hate when people say dad is babysitting the kids. Uh, no, he's WATCHING his kids. Dads can look after their kids same as mom can, but it's not babysitting when mom does it. I despise what society has deemed normal. That's why I break from it as often as possible.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
+1 for hating the uneven distribution of societal expectations of mom v dad. Our relationship has ALWAYS been based on shared home duty. My inability to be the doting wife- mans behind the scenes supporter - is part of what attracted DH to me. However, both our moms were the stereotypical and subordinate take care of family and home by themselves while dad works type women. Now that we are parents, we are great at keeping it equal but I've been surprised to find it's way less natural.
The expectations sneak out (sometimes of both of us).
@LinziLoo09 I hear that. Or when people refer to fathers watching their kids as "babysitting". Um, no they're not babysitting they're being a parent.
We are big on teamwork. There's a lot of extra responsibility I naturally pick up around the house just because I am a SAHM so I am glad to be able to lighten certain loads for him. But I know that when he gets home from work, or when he is home on the weekends, I don't have to worry about toddler responsibilities because he totally takes over. My H has 4 sisters... He gets it.
I got a parking ticket yesterday. I park on the street and if you hang no standing/moving signs (for a moving truck) you are supposed to do it 48 hours in advance. 48 hours before, those signs definitely weren't there (which of course I can't prove). However, it appears the cop wrote the wrong time on the ticket (1:15am) which isn't even a time that signs were posted, so I'm going to try to appeal. While I'm glad I didn't get towed, I seriously want to stab the asshats who posted moving signs late and then got everyone who parked there ticketed.
Tuesday Bitch- my mom watches DD once a week for me to go to work.. She is ALWAYS late because "free help isn't always on time" *insert eyeroll* She was suppose to be here at 11 and it's currently 11:40. I'm getting the impression she doesn't really want to watch her anymore but she's being really passive aggressive about it and I'm just over it.
Re: Monday Bitchfest
BLEEEEEEEH. sorry. that was a pretty real deal but my mom is pissing me off this morning. Luckily DH and I are totally unified in this. And luckily while DH's parents are a handful of a different variety, they do NOT have the addiction/codependence issues running through their family.
My Monday BF is at my son. He has started to have 'night terrors' I think. Anyways, he is waking up at 3 am just screaming. Nothing; bottle, snuggles, rocking, paci, tv, real food; nothing calms him. Then at 3:30 he just fades back into sleep, while I am now wide awake.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
My Monday bitch is that I'm SO nauseous and NEED food but 3 extra patients showed up to clinic today already and our doctor is too nice to refuse them. I thought I could go get 1st lunch by now, but instead I have to stay and do another assessment. Oh well.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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My bitch is that it feels like I'm waiting forever for new job paperwork. The company I'm going to work for is solid, but I hate how slow things go in business sometimes. You have the verbal offer....then finally the "formal" paper offer...then you gotta in-process....bleh. Over it.
Also, I'm at DH's college today so we can hit the gym after his class....and the Starbucks on campus is closed. Um, don't they know that they're supposed to be catering to ME?! I'm pregnant and I make the rules! >:D
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
We gave her Revolution for the fleas and ticks and they are starting to fall off, so I think we are in the clear there. She is only 8 weeks old so the potty training will come in time the more we work on it. She has only had 2 accidents but they have been on our bed. She can jump up on our bed but can't or won't jump down. So again, it will just take time and consistency in working with her. It's still frustrating though!
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
My bitch..
my H has really needed to pick up my slack and I know it hasn't been easy. I'm a SAHM mostly and haven't been able to do much of anything. He did ONE load of laundry last week to help me out and it's still in the dryer (it took days for him to even finish it...). Anyway, he says to me yesterday, "you know, I really need you to get a handle on the laundry. I need your help with this." Um, I'm pretty sure I asked for YOUR help with laundry because it's one thing you can do that would lighten my load right now. That one load he did last week is the only load he has done since we moved into our home April 1 but he's apparently just over it.
I'm nauseous today and not touching the laundry. So get a handle on that.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
Another BF is that I have a DH who won't plan what to make for dinner in case his preggo wife to be gets a craving. So that's just another thing I have to plan! Blahhhh! At least when the wedding and move is done I'll have 5 months before baby is due to do absolutely nothing aside from work! Well, that and planning the baby room!
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I keep trying to write a BF, but they all just come out as a big whine, so cliff notes: feeling like crap and working on budgets. Shoot me.
But whoremones got me like "keep your mouth shut and we won't have problems"
TTC since June 2015
September Football Siggy
why does this always happen to me? nine out of 10 e-scripts I have gotten are always effed up
My Wedding Bio!
My BF is I have had a splitting headache all day. Also, maybe related, it turns out the new guy (whose office is next door to mine) is a smoker. I can smell it all throughout our little office and it is driving me nucking futs.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
Looks like I have another BF - uneven societal expectations for men and women with housekeeping and child raising! I hate you!
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
The expectations sneak out (sometimes of both of us).
We are big on teamwork. There's a lot of extra responsibility I naturally pick up around the house just because I am a SAHM so I am glad to be able to lighten certain loads for him. But I know that when he gets home from work, or when he is home on the weekends, I don't have to worry about toddler responsibilities because he totally takes over. My H has 4 sisters... He gets it.