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September 2015 Moms
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Marriage Counseling

kmcshane0211kmcshane0211 member
edited May 2016 in September 2015 Moms
I could use someone's insight. 

Many husband and I started marriage counseling to correct some issues that we've had for awhile that are now even made harder by having a baby. Basically, we both feel our needs aren't met. My emotional needs and his affection/sexual interaction. 

I i know this is a common female vs. male issue. 

Anyone have any any connection to this? Or suggestions for how you made improvements? 

We've started counseling and I guess I'm not so sure about it. If almost rather hear from others who have the personal experience. 

Thank you!
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Re: Marriage Counseling

  • rachellegiaccorachellegiacco member
    I unfortunately don't have any tips on fixing these issues but I do give your husband a little credit for actually going to counseling. My husband and I have the same issues and I have made Apts and got to the door and my husband said he's not coming. So I would say baby steps are important and encouraging him that he's doing good well will help him stay interested which will in turn make you feel better I think
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  • dimi2015dimi2015 member
    No advice here either but I know what you're going through.. Just started marriage councilling last week.. Hopefully we all come out of this with healthy relationships. For our babies sake 
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  • missliz53missliz53 member
    We went through marriage counseling a couple of years ago and it was honestly one of the best things we've done. Marriages need tune ups every so often, so I expect we will probably go back to counseling every several years. My friend and her husband take a marriage tune up class every 2 years through their church and I've been meaning to look into that for us. 

    One of the best things that for our marriage has been the 4 love languages. You can probably find the test online, but the basic idea is that we all have ways that we like receive affection so by knowing what your ways and your partners ways are you can use that to be affectionate with each other and meet those needs. For example my 2 are quality time and physical affection and my husband's are physical affection and words of affirmation (ie: compliments, thank you's). Physical affection is easy for us both, but I work hard to make sure I'm telling him that I appreciate how hard he works to support our family, that I love him, that he's hot, that he's awesome, ect. And he makes sure that spending time with me is one of his top priorities. Now that there's a baby in the mix we have to be really diligent about not slacking off on these things. 
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  • TabulaRasa25TabulaRasa25 member
    Bear in mind that there are a number of different therapeutic approaches to marriage and family counseling. It's a good thing to discuss what theoretical orientation the counselor you work with draws from, and determine if it's a style that will or won't work for you. 
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  • mill1020mill1020 member
    Counseling has been hugely helpful for us.  It's always very stressful on a marriage to have a child (especially the first or second one).  Balancing everyone's needs and helping both parents feel appreciated as individuals are huge challenges for everybody.  Hang in there; this process takes time and can certainly benefit from the guidance of professionals.
    Laura, mom of:
    James (14)
    William (13)
    Elise (11)
    Zachary (5)
    George (3)

    www.letterstoauntkay.com [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]
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  • kmcshane0211kmcshane0211 member
    Thank you for your support everyone. Your words of encouragement mean so much!


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  • Bellarose212Bellarose212 member
    It sounds like you are already a step in the right direction. That is huge that you guys started couples counseling. I've been begging my husband for months, but he refuses to go. He thinks that going to therapy would mean admitting that something is wrong with our marriage. So we have big hurdles to overcome. One thing I've learned about marriage is that you both need to make sacrifices for one another. And the love language book has been immensely helpful to us. It really helps to understand why certain things are important to your partner- even if they seem silly to you. I feel your pain though... This has been such a tough year for us. Our relationship has been so strained since our little guy was born. But if you have a good therapist, you guys are well on your way. Good luck! 
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  • kmcshane0211kmcshane0211 member
    Thanks everyone! We're surely on the up and up!
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