Ezra Dylan birth story

JoMunson · May 2016

finally getting around to typing out my birth story:
I was woken up by contractions around 12:45am. I'd had some false contractions so I just laid in bed but they kept coming and coming. I went to bounce on my labor ball and started timing them-5 minutes apart. I decided to do something more active and did the dishes, that moved them to two minutes apart. I waited about an hour and then called the birth center, they said I was in early labor, to wake DH up, and then come in for a check at 4:15am. I was GBS positive so they wanted me to come in and get antibiotics. I became totally overwhelmed and decided to do my hair (if I had known how messy my hair was going to become I wouldn't have bothered). Then I started crying and saying I didn't want to go to the birth center. I was getting nervous already, and that was when my water broke.

We got to the birth center and they checked me- 4 cm, cervix is 90% gone and my water had definitely broken. Oh man that cervical check hurt so much! They gave me some antibiotics and let me labor for awhile, but 4 hours later I was still at 4 cm so they sent me home.

At home I got into the tub and tried relaxing, doing some meditation, but (I didn't know this at the time) I started going through transition and my contractions were very intense- I started screaming and yelling at DH that I couldn't do it natural and had to go to the hospital for an epidural. DH called the birth center and they had us come back in at about noon. Poor DH couldn't take the freeway (a 15 minute trip) because of an accident so we had to go through town with me screaming the whole 30 minute way.

We got back to the birth center at about twelve thirty pm and they checked me- I was at 10 cm and having pushing contractions. This was when things got really hard because I would push and push and nothing would happen. They let me be in the tub for awhile but it wasn't wide enough for my legs to be open effectively, tried the toilet but that didn't work because I kept worrying my rectum was going to fall out (seriously), tried the birth stool but it wasn't comfortable for testing, tried the damn squat bar but I couldn't hold my legs in the squat for long enough and my contractions came without warning and I couldn't move once they'd started. LO was moving down but very slowly. After about 5 hours of pushing they let me rest and didn't direct me at all. That was my favorite part. At about 6pm I started asking when it had been too long and we had to do vacuum extraction at the hospital. they said they were thinking about it but since LO's heart rate was doing well they didn't want to send me to the hospital yet. I asked if they could just bring the vacuum to the birth center and they said no. I asked if the midwife could just reach inside and pull him out ("I won't tell anyone!" I said)

At around 8 they decided to do nipple stimulation and have me on my back (since I was so tired I couldn't really support my own weight anymore) and coach me through pushing. I couldn't stand that part, especially since I was so exhausted and didn't feel like I had any reserves left. This was when I grabbed the more assertive midwifes hand and said "you have to help me!" and she told me I was the only one who could deliver my baby. Near the end when he was crowning one of the midwives asked me to reach down and feel his head- that actually really helped because then I knew I couldn't be moved, I just had to stay and have him. I pushed really really hard with everything I had (and sort of ignored the midwives directions to stop arching my back) and out he came! It turned out he had the cord around his neck three times so every time he moved down the cord pulled him back up a few inches. It was insanely frustrating to feel him crown and then get sucked back in! I think also my labor was challenging because I just couldn't get it out of my head that I could tap out, not have a natural birth, and someone would make this easier. Feeling his head was the moment I realized I had to just stay and finish.

I was bleeding a lot after LO so they helped my placenta get delivered (which they said would hurt but I honestly didn't feel anything) and then gave me two shots of pitocin to stop the bleeding. Then it was all bliss and happiness and looking at my amazing baby. I remember DH saying "you did it! You had a natural birth!" And I remember thinking that I couldn't believe I had actually done it. And my lady parts are totally fine too! I had two "scratches" (midwives words) on my outer labia and a one degree very small tear near my perineum. I was very swollen however, basically swollen shut.

It turns out both my family and DH's thought I had died since they hadn't heard from us in almost ten hours. We made sure to FaceTime and call right away so they knew everyone was okay.

When Ezra was born he was alert, chatty but not crying, and we were able to breastfeed right away. My recovery has been awesome, although as a FTM I don't have anything to compare it to. I remember staying up all night after he was born just watching him. Suddenly all the exhaustion I had felt was gone. I told my best friend later that night it was like I went to another planet and came back with an alien.

Its been 9 days since Ezra was born. I still can't believe I pushed for so long! It makes me greatful for the birth center because I don't think an OB/hospital would have let me labor for 20 hours, let alone push for so long. I probably would have been near induction once I'd reached 10 cm but he wasn't moving down or even before that when I stalled at 4 and had to go home. And I would have lost the opportunity to feel like I can do anything!