babies close together? any experienced mamas?

Brianna0915 · May 2016

So my husband and i have started talking about baby #2. (keep in mind, our daughter is only 4 months old) We know we want our kids close in age so we have started trying to plan out a potential timeline. I would hatlike to be pregnant again by our daughters first birthday. Are there any mamas on here t have experience with close pregnancies? any insights you'd like to offer? Or even advice that could be helpful? I know we will have our hands full for a while but I cant wait!!

Also, i went on implanon right after our daughter was born, so when should i have it removed? both sides of our family have struggled with infertility so were trying to keep babies close in case it takes a little while to conceive. I was off BC for over a year before we conceived our first one so i understand that getting pregnant by her first birthday could be wishful thinking but i want to stay positive!

hupp0013 · May 2016

My kids are 20 months apart. So I was pregnant when DD was 12 months. I like the age gap a lot. My kids play together well now. We did start TTC when DD 1 was 9 months old. My cycles didn't regulate until I was done breastfeeding.

I don't have any advice about the implanon though. I am sure other ladies would have some advice. I would talk to your doc about that.

thlibrava · May 2016

Because of multiple miscarriages before our first, we didn't prevent at all after his birth. So...my first two are 18 months to the day. The first year and a half with two under two were rough but they are best friends.

Key23Baby3 · May 2016

My babies ( son 4yrs) (daughter 3yrs) are 10 months apart i didnt even know i was pregnant with my daughter till about 4 months but they play well together and my son is really protective of his sister so thats a good thing to

sarahppar · May 2016

Of course you will be happy with whatever choice you make and you didn't asks for non parents advice

... But from an experienced nanny (unbiased opinion here) I can tell you the mothers are the happiest when there is space between the kids (talking about baby and toddler years so a good 4 or 5 years of your life).

Having 2 under two can be very stressful and takes lots of support. The toddler needs 24/7 supervision still and so it's hard to watch them and hold and tend to a baby. It's hard to catch your breath during the day. Also the 2ish year old will only likely be in a part time day care situation (assuming you go that route).

When the oldest one is around 3, when the second is born, they are already potty trained, you are through a lot of the tantrums. They can play alone on the floor easier. You can walk out of the room for a second and not worry. They can do a more things by themselves like getting snacks, picking out clothes, pick up their toys, and help with the baby. They can easily go stay with friends/relatives so you can get caught up on sleep and have alone time with the baby. They can clearly tell you their needs and can understand better your needs, and the new baby's needs.

I know it's hard to wait, but it can be such a blur when it's 2 close in age like that. It's harder to enjoy when every day is hectic. I think you can more easily savor your time with each child more by spacing them a bit.

Just some things to think about. You can try it out by offering to babysit for a family who has 2 under 2 or two close in age for a few days and see how you feel. Or maybe just add in a 15 month old to your day and see how you go.

I'm a huge believer that the mother's health and happiness sets the whole tone for the house, so make sure you think about you first

Again anything you chose will be great!

PolarBear517 · May 2016

This is what DH wants as well, although we haven't even started TTC #1 yet! He feels like he is getting a late start and needs to catch up. I am totally on board with close spacing- especially since we only want 2- because I think in the long run it'll be nice to have kids that are close enough in age where we can plan vacations to Disney- or even go to local amusement parks or movies or on bike rides/hikes, and they will be more likely to have similar physical capacity or age-related interests, be closer in height for rides etc. While it's nice to have some one on one time, I don't want to always resort to one parent taking the older kid, one taking the younger one and spending most of the day involved in separate activities because they are too far apart to enjoy many of the same things. Of course, they may hate everything their sibling likes anyway

but I feel like a 3 year or less gap is my best chance of that. The difference between me & DH is that his definition of close is 1-2 years, while I'd feel more comfortable with 2-3. I tell him we will just see how it goes with the first one! I see many of my friends spacing their children 5 years apart so they don't have 2 full time in daycare, which makes sense for other reasons and seems to work well when the 2nd child is still an infant. There doesn't seem to be a perfect answer.

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