Stress Management

PrettyPalomino · May 2016

Question for you ladies: Anyone dealing with a high-stress work environment? I work in the back office in the operations of a financial institution and I have some days where I am either shaking with frustration or wanting to cry, or my blood pressure feels like it's going through the roof...

Have you tried to let things slide? I am type A personality and a major control freak, and I don't really have a plan for how to make people less dependant on me at work... it's constant bombardment and I usually handle it with adrenaline and stress but that can't be good for pregnancy.

Any tips/advice on stress reduction?

Jdlc1991 · May 2016

Hi!

I am the firm administrator at a Law Firm, so there is constant mayhem going around with new clients and all kinds of hearing emergencies. One of my friends is really into meditation (I had never tried it before) and she recommended I youtube a few Deepak Chopra meditations. When I feel too stressed I throw my headphones on and I listen and breathe slowly for a few minutes meanwhile. Usually 5-10 minutes does it for me, his voice is soothing on its own! Good luck with everything.

DiFazette · May 2016

When I was PG with DS I was in a stressful work environment. Not so much because of the job, but because my management team was a bunch of people overseas that changed their mind every other day subsequently changing how the job needed to be done. It was incredibly frustrating.

I ended up with severe Pre-E last pregnancy and it was likely more internal based than external factors but you can not let you BP get high due to work. I don't mean to minimize your job/profession - but are you saving anyone's life? Is anyone in grave danger if it's not perfect or the problem has to wait 30 minutes? EMT, firefighters, nurses, surgeons - they have jobs that immediate/precise is an absolute requirement. While I'm sure your work along with anyone else's needs to be done well, it's not life or death.

You can start delegating now, and you can also make conscious decisions to calm down, walk away, regroup and reattack. Use your resources, partner with someone you trust. You are not working in a vacuum and the pressure shouldn't fall squarely on your shoulders. Stress can and will impact your pregnancy if you let it fester too long.

Try meditation, yoga, even a bathroom break at work when you start to feel this way. Above all else take care of you and your baby. Work will never be the most important thing in your life again. Might as well start setting the emotional boundaries now.

PrettyPalomino · May 2016

DiFazette said:

I don't mean to minimize your job/profession - but are you saving anyone's life? Is anyone in grave danger if it's not perfect or the problem has to wait 30 minutes? EMT, firefighters, nurses, surgeons - they have jobs that immediate/precise is an absolute requirement.

THIS right here made me feel immediately better haha you are completely right. Worst case scenario, some clients have mistakes in their investment accounts which we would fix no questions asked. Thanks, it will help me a lot to maintain this relative perspective.

PrettyPalomino · May 2016

Jdlc1991 said:

Hi!

I am the firm administrator at a Law Firm, so there is constant mayhem going around with new clients and all kinds of hearing emergencies. One of my friends is really into meditation (I had never tried it before) and she recommended I youtube a few Deepak Chopra meditations. When I feel too stressed I throw my headphones on and I listen and breathe slowly for a few minutes meanwhile. Usually 5-10 minutes does it for me, his voice is soothing on its own! Good luck with everything.

Good idea! I read this book by Eckhart Tolle a few years back, The Power of Now, and his youtube videos had a big impact on me too. I could always take a minute to try to bring myself back to the present moment instead of obsessing over past/future consequences.

penelope4612 · May 2016

When I'm stressed at work I will find 5 mins, go somewhere I can close the door, and look at The Bump or Facebook (although I like PPs suggestion of 5 mins of meditation). I'll also sometimes take a quick walk to get a coffee or snack. I am constantly trying to remind myself that no, I don't need to respond to emails at the second that I receive them (and it's often inefficient to stop what I'm doing to intermittently respond to things). Sometimes I will not even open my work email for several hours if I have a bunch of stuff that needs to get done (so that I'm not constantly distracted by new emails).

I find its also helpful to set expectations. "Yes I can get that done for you but I'm working on X y z right now so the earliest it can get done is Wednesday. I will have it for you by then." That way both you and the other person have the deadline in mind and hopefully they will stop harassing you. And if you can't get something done then say "NO that's not feasible, sorry." I feel like we're often trained to say yes to everything to please others, but often when you explain why you can't get something done, people will accept it. You just have to be firm.

Favorite sayings (in my head, not out loud):
Not my monkeys, not my circus.
Your incompetence is not my emergency.
Well I didn't kill anyone today.

Kacie209 · May 2016

DiFazette said:

I don't mean to minimize your job/profession - but are you saving anyone's life? Is anyone in grave danger if it's not perfect or the problem has to wait 30 minutes? EMT, firefighters, nurses, surgeons - they have jobs that immediate/precise is an absolute requirement. While I'm sure your work along with anyone else's needs to be done well, it's not life or death.

This is what one of my old managers used to tell us constantly. I respond to regulatory agency complaints for credit cards. So when people complain in writing to reg. agencies... that's me for a big bank. It's not usually stressful, but sometimes can be if you're waiting on deadlines, etc. In some responses we'd have, she'd tell us this and it definitely put our work into perspective. We were savings lives? Heck, no!

I want to get more into Yoga 2nd trimester, and know this would just help me in general. I am usually pretty level headed, but some coworkers drive me nuts and that's where the stress is caused, not the actual work. They just cause more problems than needed, and feel like everything is an emergency and the worst thing that could possible happen. Again, usually not.

dmontgo · May 2016

I love these suggestions. Waiting to start my new job, but it's going to be a bit more stressful than my old one since I'll be doing project management instead of working alone. Bleh.

aevan011 · May 2016

PPs are all great! I'm a control freak and I went from being a supervisor to an assistant-type position after moving...it was a huge adjustment to make and the hormones aren't helping currently.

I just ordered some yoga dvds for home to help overall. While at work, I take quick breaks to just breathe and remind myself that no job is worth that level of stress or jeopardizing my pregnancy.

penelope4612 · May 2016

If anyone finds a yoga DVD that they like, let me know. The yoga place I go to is heated and I'm worried that it will be either too hot for baby or too hot for me (like, I'll pass out) so I haven't been going even though I love it.

R0824H · May 2016

I can't do much about stress at work because I can't drop things and leave to take 5 minutes since my most stressful times are when I need to perform the best (I'm a medical lab tech so we have a strict turn around time for specimens). If a doctor needs uncrossed blood units for a MVA victim in the ER I can't just be like "gimme a min to destress". What I have found to work for me is taking a few seconds to do 3 deep breathes in and out. Day shifts aren't so bad but nights can be brutal. But at home I usually stretch or go for a quick walk, sometimes after a shift I'll do a lap around the hospital before getting in my car:)

DiFazette · May 2016

penelope4612 said:

If anyone finds a yoga DVD that they like, let me know. The yoga place I go to is heated and I'm worried that it will be either too hot for baby or too hot for me (like, I'll pass out) so I haven't been going even though I love it.

I've read hot yoga is not recommended while PG, so I'm glad you haven't been! I'm looking for a good yoga DVD, too. Had one with DS that was the worst. I'll let you know if I find anything.

cjt121413 · May 2016

Late to this post, but I am a divorce litigation attorney, so it can be stressful at times. I handle it by using deep breathing, remembering that it is not life or death, and just doing what I can at any given moment. I used to work for child protective services, so it was life or death. Remembering that job puts things into perspective.

sarah12-2 · May 2016

@PrettyPalominoYES! I get this. I am a veterinary surgeon (neurosurgery, orthopedics, soft tissue, obgyn, ect). I work 12+ hours a day 5-7 days a week. Including middle of the night on call. I love my job but oh my god, the pressure (and sleep deprivation). For most of my clients, their animals are their children. I am definitely a type A personality and am constantly waking up in the middle of the night worrying about cases I have cut.

Things that seem to be helping me- I started using headspace, the meditation app. This helps quite a bit and only takes 10 minutes a day. Also, the knowledge that I will be stepping back to part time in 3 months helps, though I will still be taking a lot of on call. Has anyone read the book "Deep Work"? This has helped to motivate me out of the paralyzing feeling when there is just too much to do and move me towards action steps to break off a little at a time.

I would be interested in trying yoga. I previously became pretty bored with yoga, but I think it would help me. I'd love to hear suggestions for dvds.

It actually helps to hear about other people stressing about their jobs. I think a lot of stress has to do with our personalities- any job can be stressful. We just have to try to keep perspective and remember we can only do our best. (I need to take my own advice!)

slartybartfast · May 2016

This may seem minor but actually, for me at least, it's really effective.
Calming music. I get some Enya pandora station in my ears and the world is juuuuust fine.

Also, physiologically, when pregnant, it affects some people's body's stress response. It can make it harder to return to normal after a stressful thing. For instance, my dog was barking with DS was falling asleep last night and it stressed me. AKA my blood pressure increase, heart rate increase, cortisol levels spiked. It took like 2 hours for that to calm back down. I remember this from last time. It'll be a good thing to communicate to DH now too. Because if we have a disagreement or something, it becomes a really uneven playing field. I physiologically can't keep my cool and then can't return to my cool if I get worked up. Sometimes you can't avoid stressful topics or decisions during pregnancy but being aware of this phenomenon is useful and also knowing conversations are probably more successful in the morning than evening is also helpful.

PrettyPalomino · May 2016

@slartybartfast I think I needed to hear that (esp this morning at work), I noticed lately when something upsets me at work, it takes a very long time to shake it off compared to before. Going to try harder to avoid those situations entirely or perceive them differently right from the get go.

slartybartfast · May 2016

@PrettyPalomino - yea it's a struggle. I just do my best to keep myself as sheltered from stressors as I can for these 9 months. Because honestly I can't logic myself down from my reactions during this time.

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