All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny,
but yo I'm makin' money, working thru dat third tri
so yo bumps I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground, yeah that’s that tooty toot tootin’.
I eat up all the Doritos ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to bump my humpty.
And all the snark posters in the top ten-please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' wide, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the bumpers love tit me.
I like to pass time like I pass gas,
I like my kicks funky,
I'm spunky. I like my ice cream lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis heartburn yo, straight gangsta fack (not cussing bump gawds, step back)
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your oreos and your bread,
Unless you’re an OG with GD ‘cause then I’ll leave you be.
hey yo fat girl, c'mere-are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny. The new pregnant cool gained just 6 pounds,
Yeah, so it’s really 6 times 6 but who’s counting? I’ll thrive.
It never stopped me from gettin' busy, every other day, ok, I mean month but who cares?
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the snarky doom
I once got busy eating fries in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm too big, even havin’ twins, but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants, just those double XXLs
and I even got my own dance, waddle waddle hot dish
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin... any day now?'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin' for another 6 weeks now
They stare, they glare, they constantly try to compare me
but they can't get near me or I’ll bump you to outer space
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor if I could just reach it, B,
all the june tots- they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty tooty toot will… well that’s a different thread
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle and growing every day,
but I'm still gettin' paid working thru third tri...
I get love titted by the ladies, ya know I'm large,
both how I'm livin' and my kankles is large
I get stoopid wit dat pregnancy brain,
I shoot an arrow like Cupid, showin’ off my snark range
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like totter tatin’ tootin
I’ll snark on every lame thread, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said “yo, there’s a thread for dat sh*t’
Also told ya that I like to bite
Dat ice cream... well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya have to do is give ‘dis Humpty tot a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
People say ‘ya look like a bee-stung M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty’
That's all right 'cause my body's in slow motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this third tri game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two bumpies will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain, so much fackin’ pain!
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.
Once again, for the very first time, the Underground is in the board,
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole hoard,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever.
Love and Tots, The New Girl
Re: Intro- Long Time Lurker, 1st Time Poster
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Welcome
ILY.
DST T4L
Welcome, stranger.
& Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
i was rolling hard to some snoop d oh double G yesterday.
Pregnant ladies represent!!!