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May 2016 Moms
emma+karen
member
Awkward shower WWYD question
emma+karen
member
So, this is our 2nd baby, another boy, and I am totally not expecting anyone to offer to throw a shower. We set up a registry mostly for the completion discount on stuff we need and so our parents have an idea of what we need if they want to buy stuff for us (my mom loves to shop, FIL will only shop from a list--that goes for birthdays and Christmas, too.)
Anyway, when we first announced we were expecting at our church, the lay leader, who's also in choir with my wife, told us they wanted to throw us a shower. We said, great, thanks! Then nothing else mentioned, and now I'm due in 7 weeks.
Background on our church: We bring the average age down by quite a lot. It is full of old people. So naturally, they are very excited about a new baby because it doesn't happen often (ever). We started attending there when DS was about a year, so he was never a newborn in this church. The congregation also takes FOREVER to decide to do ANYTHING. There are many, many committee meetings involved.
I honestly don't care whether they throw us a shower or not. If they want to, great. If not, that's fine, too. What I DON'T want is for them to sit on this until the baby's born and then say, "Oh, we'll throw you a shower now and you just bring the baby!" Nuh-uh, no way, not happening. Because then they will want to pass him around and touch him and hold him and that's just not happening with a newborn.
So my WWYD question is: should we mention the shower to our lay leader again or not? I'm thinking sort of in the way of, "The baby's due pretty soon, not sure if you all were still wanting to throw a shower, but if you do, let's find a date soon because time's running short!" Or should I just not even mention it, and turn down any offers after the baby comes until I'm ready to start going back to church again (I'll probably stay home from church with the baby till the end of summer, after a round or two of shots and some time for his immune system to get up and running).
Thoughts?
Re: Awkward shower WWYD question
With this baby, the choir is planning to do the same, only adding in drop-off/pick-up of my son at his preschool so I don't have to worry about getting him to and from school while recovering from a RCS. That plus the meals will be better than any shower! I feel so incredibly blessed to have the church family to help out.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!I also agree with this for your particular situation!
Reviving this with an update. So now that I'm 38 weeks, my wife came home from choir practice last night and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I think you'll be mad if I don't..." So yeah, they are planning to surprise me with a shower. After the baby is born, but she doesn't know when. Sigh.
I don't want to seem ungrateful that they are planning something, but honestly with the baby almost here a shower is the last thing on my mind. They could be a lot more helpful by bringing food by the house at this point. We have everything we need, and I'm not planning to go to church for a couple of months after the baby is born--I know my church, and I know people will expect to hold the baby and pass him around. Not happening, at least not till after a couple rounds of vaccines. And even then, I don't really want all the people touching him. I'm a protective mama bear with an infant.
I am convinced that Protestantism is not designed for introverts. I was raised Catholic, and everyone was much better about boundaries. Thanks for letting me vent.