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Infertility
runner76
member
Infertility when H has children( children mentioned)
runner76
member
in Infertility
So I do have a daughter from a previous marriage who is ten.. my husband has two teenaged children. We met later and are 40 years old. We spent two years trying and had a miscarriage.. now we are doing ivf.. but I feel like we waited so long it may not happen esp due to age. If this ends I don't know how to get past the idea we won't share this bond. It feels like the fact that he has kids with someone else makes the whole infertility sadness even more painful. I will never parent with him, I will never be a grandparent with him. we will always be missing that one thing yet I will watch his two kids grow and all I see is him and his ex wife.. how does one get through this pain?
Re: Infertility when H has children( children mentioned)
Anyways, for the last 14 yrs, I have raised my stepsons and it is hard when they reach major life milestones and their mom is there and I feel like a 3rd wheel. I love them like they are my children, plain and simple. It still stings when they spend time with their mom on mother's day but I only get a text. It is something I have to deal with but it is hard. My dh is on board with us trying for a baby but if it doesn't happen he won't be devastated like I will be. I know I will never be okay with just being a stepmother. If we exhaust all treatment options that we can afford and end up without a baby, I know I will need therapy to help me move on. I have been brutally honest with my dh that I didn't marry him just so I can raise his kids and not have any of my own. I think you need to really talk openly with your husband and let him know how you feel. Especially since you also have a child from another person. He could share some of your feelings or at least see your perspective.