Two First Names??

Chcaggie1 · May 2016

Ok ladies! I need your opinions please! Hubby and I found out we are having a girl!! Yay! So we have a name picked out that we adore BUT we have some conflict about the "logistics" of the name. The name is Kylar Marie Grace (our last name starts with a C). Here's the conflict. Hubby really wants her first name to be Kylar Marie. He suggested hyphenating which I am strongly against. He's ok with no hyphen but her first name would still be Kylar Marie her middle name would be Grace. I love love how Kylar Marie sounds together but think I would prefer Kylar (first name) Marie (middle name) and drop Grace. Hubby is willing to consider Kylar (first name) Marie Grace (middle name). I'm just concerned its too many names and will be confusing in the future. I know in some cultures it's very common to have two last names or two middle names but this isn't cultural for us. He just likes the two first names.

What are ya'lls thoughts on Kylar Marie as a first name?? You can be honest, I would like to know your first thoughts especially those of you in education that see all kinds of odd things.

Oh, and just to be clear, I'm not asking if you like the actual name I'm interested in your thoughts on either two first names or two middle names. Basically, is it too much to have 4 names??!!

I appreciate the feedback! Thanks!

hellopartyof5 · May 2016

If you guys are set on those names I would do 2 middle names. No one really pays attention to middle names anywys to be honest.

TucknBoom · May 2016

I think the names sounds super cute either way. However, I prefer the one first name two middle.

rspalding001 · May 2016

If it was me Id want 1 name in each place, 2 seems a bit much, but I still think it sounds cute when you say it. If you are going to call her Kylar Marie and never just Kylar Id keep them both as a first name.

DunkinDecaf · May 2016

If you have your heart set on Kylar I would do the two first names. I think Kylar sounds a bit masculine, and if her first name was just that without the Marie I would assume it was a boy.

shevaCC · May 2016

My nephew has 2 first names and the only person that calls him by both is his mom. The rest of the world calls him by his first first name. So...I vote it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you're ok with that happening.

I have 2 middle names since marriage -- I kept my birth middle name and moved my maiden name to be a second middle. The only time it's been a pain is that I now use my maiden name as my middle initial and occasionally things will have my wrong middle initial on them, but it's really nbd.

doraleigh35 · May 2016

I would go with just Kylar and use two middle names. We have a friend with two first names and everyone just calls him by his first first name.

msu_gal · May 2016

My mom's legal first name is Mary Jane and she has a lot of issues with her name being messed up in social security, health insurance data bases, etc. They always make it either MaryJane (one word) or switch Jane to her middle name. As sad as it is to say, I would not want my kid to have to deal with that hassle.
That aside, I think the name is beautiful (unsolicited feedback)

Oakleypoozles · May 2016

A close friend of mine has 9 children and all of his children have 4 names. I also know many other people who also do the 4 names. So I don't think it's really strange or bothersome. It doesn't make me feel or react in any particular way as it seems entirely normal to me. My one friends eldest son is now 18 and headed to college and he's never so much as mentioned at all that the 4 names has ever bothered him socially or otherwise. So as far as all that goes I'm pretty sure you're ok. I think it's pretty socially accepted at this point.

As far as having 2 FIRST names. Well I guess it is kind of uncommon but I can think of a lot of names that people have used as first names. Like what Army Wives there was Claudia Joy. No one ever called her Claudia .... it was ALWAYS Claudia Joy. And in that respect I have to admit there is a certain admiration that I have for it. The way that it fits together seems nice to me. Or footloose Winny Joe. So it must not be insanely uncommon because many more double first names are coming to me as I sit here and think. I personally don't feel negatively to double first names.

I'm definitely with you that I think hyphenating would be a not so great idea. I'm not sure why. I wish I could explain why but I can't it just doesn't seem appealing.

I know that if I have a girl I plan to name her with 4 names. Whitley Marie Eloise S______ so I'm pro 4 names I guess

I think the names thing is a personal thing so I'm guessing that you are questioning peoples feelings of 4 names and also the double first names just to see if they react positively or negatively and why. So I hope I've been helpful haha. I definitely react positively. I'm also pro the Kylar Marie as first name if it ends up suiting you both. I stand with yah as ewie on the hyphenating though lol.

And as a totally irrelevant comment I like the name Kylar Marie a lot btw it's very cute and so is the middle name Grace in my opinion

Roxell · May 2016

DunkinDecaf said:

If you have your heart set on Kylar I would do the two first names. I think Kylar sounds a bit masculine, and if her first name was just that without the Marie I would assume it was a boy.

^^ This

My SIL gives all her kids 3 middle names. The hospital she goes to won't use the second middle name though. So all their medical records have the 'wrong' name. And, my sis has 2 middle names. She constantly has issues with people messing up her name. FWIW

doraleigh35 · May 2016

msu_gal said:

My mom's legal first name is Mary Jane and she has a lot of issues with her name being messed up in social security, health insurance data bases, etc. They always make it either MaryJane (one word) or switch Jane to her middle name. As sad as it is to say, I would not want my kid to have to deal with that hassle.
That aside, I think the name is beautiful (unsolicited feedback)

^ This is a really good point. I have a period in my last name and it makes dealing with any sort of government forms a nightmare. All computer systems and forms seem to have different ways of entering names. If it doesn't fit their form they improvise making it nearly impossible to find your name after the fact.

grannysmith912 · May 2016

Such pretty names!! And congrats on your baby girl! We're not sure of our baby's sex yet, but the girl name we have picked out is a double name. Legally it would be three names (FN + MN + LN), but we'd call her by FN + MN. I agree with you that it would probably make the most sense to drop Grace, especially for the reasons PPs have mentioned. I think the only reason I would ever do either two FNs + one MN or one FN + two MNs would be if all three had really important significance, and I didn't feel like I could drop one for sentimental reasons. (And if that were the case, I think I would go with the two FN + one MN combination.) I hope you and your H can settle on a combination you like!

forevertired · May 2016

shevaCC said:

My nephew has 2 first names and the only person that calls him by both is his mom. The rest of the world calls him by his first first name. So...I vote it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you're ok with that happening.

I have 2 middle names since marriage -- I kept my birth middle name and moved my maiden name to be a second middle. The only time it's been a pain is that I now use my maiden name as my middle initial and occasionally things will have my wrong middle initial on them, but it's really nbd.

I think this also brings up the question- if she gets married and wants to keep her last name her middle name, then she'd have either 2 first and 2 middle or 3 middle. Not the biggest deal in the world because it's a lot of "if/when" criteria, but something to consider.

angelz429 · May 2016

I think it depends on what you're going to call her. Are you going to call her Kylar? Or Kylar Marie? If just Kylar, I would drop grace. If Kylar Marie, I would do the double fn as that's what her name will be.

angelz429 · May 2016

Also, since you don't want to hyphenate, have you thought about just squishing together as Kylarmarie or KylarMarie?

Chcaggie1 · May 2016

msu_gal said:

My mom's legal first name is Mary Jane and she has a lot of issues with her name being messed up in social security, health insurance data bases, etc. They always make it either MaryJane (one word) or switch Jane to her middle name. As sad as it is to say, I would not want my kid to have to deal with that hassle.
That aside, I think the name is beautiful (unsolicited feedback)

This is exactly what I was concerned about! I feel like for some reason its really hard for public offices to get even the simplest things correct on official documents. I don't want her having to hassle with something confusing and weird forever! Thanks for the name compliment!

Chcaggie1 · May 2016

Lots of great input! Thanks! A few of these hadn't crossed my mind (like when she gets married if she'll keep her maiden name!) so it gives me more to consider.

The plan is to call her Kylar Marie. But honestly, I've already started calling her Kylar so I'm not sure if the full Kylar Marie will last. Which kinda makes the whole discussion a moot point. We just found out the sex last week so we haven't revisited the conversation since we knew for sure we are having a girl. I'll think on it the rest of this week and then bring it up for serious discussion this weekend with hubby!

mamabear0813 · May 2016

So, my sister and I each have 4 names. My sister has two first names (Kelly Jo) and one middle name (Ann), then of course her last name. I have one first name (Heather) and two middle names (Leigh Ann), then one last name. I'll tell you honestly, it doesn't matter.

On my driver's license I had to hyphenate my middle names. It's not like that on my birth certificate, and I don't ever write it that way if I need to write all my names, but that's how they wanted it. For my middle initial I write just L for my first middle name.

My sister has hyphenated first name on her license. Again, just how they made her do it, but not how she uses it. Her middle initial is A, even if she leaves out the Jo from her first name for some reason.

People call her Kelly and me Heather. That's it. Family and friends use nicknames anyway.

ANYWAY! If that was in anyway useful for perspective, great. If not, digital cookies for you. LOL

kmmnocal · May 2016

This has probably been covered ad nauseum, but to add, when I changed my name, they (California) wouldn't allow two middle names without a hyphen. (I wanted to keep my given middle and add my maiden name.) I ended up dropping my given middle name to avoid the hyphen. Sharing because it only takes one worker who doesn't know the rules or one instance of government bureaucracy to change even the best-laid plans.

polkadotie-2 · May 2016

I say just drop Grace and keep Kylar Marie

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2016

I find that kids generally don't like to correct people so it wouldn't surprise me if you're little girl just ended up as Kylar. My brother-in-law is a junior and his family always called him by his middle name to differentiate him from his dad. When he got to school, they started calling him by his first name and he never bothered to correct them. Now it's kind of odd because his wife and his friends all call him by his first name and his family still call him by his middle name.

muybueno · May 2016

angelz429 said:

Also, since you don't want to hyphenate, have you thought about just squishing together as Kylarmarie or KylarMarie?

Anything but this.

spatchbelly · May 2016

I have two first names and no middle name on my birth certificate. It's made it a pain in the ass my whole life with filling out government paperwork. My $0.02 - Pick a first name and a middle name, make it easy for your kid later in life.

leighry · May 2016

I call my kids by their first and middle a lot.. I just made sure I liked how they sounded together but definitely made one a first and one a middle.

mrsjlang · May 2016

Personal opinion, either hyphenate or assume one of them as a middle name. If there's a space, it won't recognize on most government paperwork and your child will constantly be correcting people or they will choose to drop one of the names.

In my family, the more of your name you heard the more trouble you were in.
Example: as a kid I was also referred to by my nickname. If I was in trouble it would turn to full first name. If I still didn't listen, the middle name got added. And if the last name comes out, you better be prepared for the wrath of the parent.

PurpleBrunette · May 2016

mrsjlang said:

In my family, the more of your name you heard the more trouble you were in.
Example: as a kid I was also referred to by my nickname. If I was in trouble it would turn to full first name. If I still didn't listen, the middle name got added. And if the last name comes out, you better be prepared for the wrath of the parent.

Ugh, stuck in the box! But yes, if my parent's were bothering to say all 10 syllables of my long full name, I knew I was dead.

FiancB · May 2016

My sister's name is Ann Marie. I guess Marie is technically a MN, but she has always gone by Ann Marie. It's still pretty short and simple. I think if you go with the intention of calling your kid Kylar Marie, it's still going to take on a life of its own and she'll still end up being called just Kylar or Kylie or something.

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt · May 2016

A name that sounds exactly like Kylar, but is spelled differently, is a generations-old family name in my family. It is well loved and cherished and... very much a male name. It seems so weird to think of it being used on a girl. To me it feels like the equivalent of calling a girl Michael or Edward.

Anyway, I'd recommend against doing two first names. It can become quite the pain paperwork-wise for her down the line. I'd stick to it as two MN.

sweetlyuntied · May 2016

kmmnocal said:

This has probably been covered ad nauseum, but to add, when I changed my name, they (California) wouldn't allow two middle names without a hyphen. (I wanted to keep my given middle and add my maiden name.) I ended up dropping my given middle name to avoid the hyphen. Sharing because it only takes one worker who doesn't know the rules or one instance of government bureaucracy to change even the best-laid plans.

That's so weird, when did you get married? I got married in CA in 2009 and they let me use two middle names. My name is like: Firstname Middlename Maidenname and Marriedname. I had just finished a grad program at the time. I wanted to change my name but I wanted to keep some continuity between the name on my diploma (and also an article I published in grad school) and my new name. I wonder if this is a new thing?

Chcaggie1 · May 2016

Thanks for weighing in everyone! I thought I would come back and update you. We had a convo this wknd and settled on the name... Kylar (fn) Marie (mn) C(ln)! My husband took almost no convincing which is amazing b/c he can be stubborn. But we both agreed pretty much instantly, so yay! We have a name that doesn't stress me out!!

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