Today I remember all of us

mszobota · May 2016

So today is excruciating. It's hard to know whether to hide or even go out and about today. I just wanted to let you all know that we are moms even if our little ones are no longer with us, growing in us, etc. I've read a lot of quotes that paraphrase said "You are a mother as soon as you hold a child in your womb." and "Let us remember the mothers today who had to give their baby back." I think these are both valid and true.

I am thinking of every one of us today. How is everyone feeling?

So much love xoxoxo

Sugargirl1019 · May 2016

I confessed to a coworker today that I lost my baby a few days ago. It felt good to have her share in my sadness, as she had lost a son. She told me happy mothers day, even though God is holding my baby. It will probably be the only wish I get today, even from husband and my mom. It felt nice for her to recognize that I'm still a mommy.

virginiaham · May 2016

@Sugargirl1019 my SIL sent me a message this morning along those same lines and it was so validating to hear those words.

I only cried a little in church today which still felt embarrassing. Thinking of you ladies today.

Missa0830 · May 2016

@virginiaham I cried in church today too. The minister did a great job celebrating mothers of all kinds, (step, aunts, adoptive, teachers) and tried to be inclusive- but when he prayed for peace and healing for mothers who have losses, I lost it.

rainbowturtles · May 2016

My mom sent me a happy Mother's Day text and someone included me in a Facebook post. Hubby is a man of few words but is taking good care of me today. It's a little bittersweet but we are drinking Caesars and eating soft cheeses and cured meats....it's not even close to consolation of not having my baby still growing inside me but not sure what else to do. I keep just trying to be positive and hope that next year will be a happier occasion. I'm avoiding social media and tv for the most part. I was choked tho, we watched Zoolander 2 which I thought would be the safest thing in the world to watch but lo and behold it includes both pregnancy AND miscarriage, even if in a slightly joking manner, it still upset me that I can't escape it.
I'm thinking of all of you and sending love and light

katiegeminimoon · May 2016

I held it together all day until just now. DH got the door when the pizza came. When he came back in he said "the delivery guy asked me if there were any mothers in here he could give a flower to and I said no". I burst into instant tears and said "well technically I'm a mother even though our baby didn't make it". He hugged me and said 100 times that he didn't even think about what he was saying and he was so sorry. I know he didn't mean it, but now I'm super sad.

hugs to all of you

edited spelling

Sugargirl1019 · May 2016

Ahhhhhh! I'm so sorry

Husbands forget more easily.. Mine did something similar tonight too. That broke my heart for you! I wish you got a flower!

Glitter · May 2016

@ktcakes87 I'm sorry you felt so sad. It would of broke ny heart too. But you are a mommy, we all are, even if others dont realize it. My SO tries so hard, he is sad but its not the same as my pain or so i thought. He comforted me today, loved me, and let me be sad. I asked him why he doesnt act sad and his response made me feel lucky and horrible. He said he is sad, he thought he was finally going to be a dad, and have a family. He then said but Im worried about you, Im worried about your pain, sadness, and your feelings. Ive been hurting too but I knew you needed my comfort. I felt horrible that this whole time i was so wrapped up in my grief that I didnt see his. But felt lucky that I have someone amazing. Our partners do try.

Im going to try to remember this when he does something withoutthinking, or accidentally hurts my feelings.

Happy Mother's Day! Yes, we are all mother's. Now I have to remember to say Happy Father's Day.

katiegeminimoon · May 2016

@Sugargirl1019 thanks. He said he would buy me flowers to make up for his insensitive comment.

@Glitter thank you. I can relate to feeling lucky and horrible. For a week or so after the miscarriage I could hardly get off the couch or do anything because I was so depressed. When I finially started feeling better he finially admitted how sad he was but hasn't let it show so he could take care of me and support me emotionally. It broke my heart but also made me realize how lucky I am to have him. I felt horrible, but he understood. We are lucky to have such loving partners

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