stay at home mom?

dianabeee · May 2016

hello all,
I recently quit my job to become a stay at home mom. My husband got a new job and we can afford it. it's been a week, and it's going ok. The pros are that i get to spend more time with my son, watch him develop, improve our relationship, and by improve our relationship i mean that when i was working he got so used to his dad that he didnt want to me with me anymore

the cons miss working and I'm afraid I'm going to get annoyed by being with the baby 24/7.

I really don't want to put him in daycare yet because I think it's essential for a child to spend more time with his parents, especially since he is still young. (and after all, we are their first teachers.) But this is just my opinion.

so far it's going well. but won't really know what to expect until more time passes. Any other stay at home mama's want to share their experience?

delujm0 · May 2016

I'm not a SAHM (I was dying to get out of the house after maternity leave - DD screamed 24/7 for 3 months, so the transition was easy), but on the daycare front - you can look in your area for places that allow part-time enrollment. The place we use offers it. DD loves to be with us but by the end of the weekend she's kind of bored. She loves other children. She is always all smiles when we drop her off at daycare, especially on Monday mornings. Because of our schedules, she's only usually there 6-7 hours a day M-F. She's happy to see me when I get there to pick her up too. But we think the socialization is important to her development.

There might be someplace near you that will accept kids for just half days, or half days 2-3 days a week (my nephew is 2.5, but he goes to a "school" for just 2 hours in the morning three days a week - about long enough for SIL to go to the gym). Might be nice for you to have that time baby-free to get stuff done around the house or run errands, or do some stuff for yourself (provided that you can afford to pay for daycare without going back to work yourself). I know it's really hard for me to get stuff done around the house when I'm with DD because I'd rather just play with her when I can. Which is why we have to use a maid service...haha. :-)

mjschenk · May 2016

I always thought I'd wanna work at least part time when I had kids well it has turned out I am a sahm and I love it. I say reconnect with old friends for lunch find mom groups etc it really can be nice. I live in Utah and I found a local group that is for little kid explorers yes my LO is kinda young it's nice for me to have some adult interactions. Although if you do feel annoyed find a babysitter for a couple hours. Or just let DH know mine is always willing to do his share and give me a break. Or if working out is something you are interested in a gym with daycare is a great option. Good luck new things can be scary but great!

btm013 · May 2016

totally understand where you are coming from. I have a weird work set up. I'm a part time STAHM but during busy season (I'm a tax accountant) I send LO to daycare. Right now, because it's our down time and we are moving (and subsequently switching daycares) he is home with me until mid-June. Some days are pure bliss and I am beyond thankful I get to spend my days with him. Other times (mainly when I'm trying to get some work done or just simply make dinner), I am counting down the minutes until DH is home so I can hand him over and decompress. Even though it's my down time, I will still be sending LO to daycare twice a week until the fall. Right now, I am squeezing my work in nights and weekends and I just can't sustain that. I'm not sure what your profession is/was but you can always try part-time if staying at home gets to be too much. And don't feel guilty if you start to feel like it is. Being a mother is truly the hardest job in the world and it's ok to want some time to yourself. Good luck!!

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2016

I work from home and DH is a stay at home father, about 80% of the time (he works evenings/nights four days/week). DH tends to feel limited in what he can do with LO because he won't take LO with him to do things that HE wants to do. On the plus side, LO gets his undivided attention and lots of play time. On the flip side, DH burns out more quickly, and needs someone else to take the baby for a while after 4-6 hours. My hours are very flexible, so I can do that.
But what I've learned is I get less bored if I take LO along for what I want to do - grocery shopping, thrift stores, visit a friend, go to the library, take a walk, etc. Obviously I take him to playgrounds and things, but I don't feel so limited to baby stuff, and that gives me mental freedom.

Congrats on on the big change and good luck!

jessieR358 · May 2016

I work, but not every day. It's a good balance right now. On the days I'm off we usually run an errand or 2. I can't sit in the house all day! LO loves the grocery store, target and shopping. He loves people watching and eating out for lunch. If it's nice we go for walks and/or swing.
This summer we are doing a weekly music class and he will start MDO in the fall to give my mom a break ha.

aj1327 · May 2016

I stay home and I also do a lot of listed above. I do yoga 3 times a week and he stays in the child care there. He loves it. We do swim lessons every Wednesday and I'm going to check out a "little gym" tomorrow for the summer to get him out as well. He is also going to be going to Mother's Day out 2 days a week next year from 9-2.

dianabeee · May 2016

thanks for all the support and ideas ladies. so far it's working out for me. I guess it all depends on the person. I've heard some women loved it others hated it.

I am definitely excited about spending more time with my son. I already feel like our relationship is getting much better. I feel loved again lol

MouseMama817 · May 2016

I'm a SAHM and it was definitely an adjustment. I do miss work but I wouldn't trade this job for any other. I make sure to have lunch dates with friends at least once a month so I don't start feeling too disconnected. Some days I do find myself counting down the minutes until DH gets home from work (her bedtime routine is their special time together) but that's to be expected! I've learned to find little snatches of time to myself so I can recharge. I have my own bedtime routine now lol-- I take a big glass of lemon water into the bathroom and listen to my history podcast while I wash my face and brush my teeth. It's only 10 minutes but it really helps me wind down after a long day with LO. If I need a break during the day I'll put her in her PNP with some toys and put Baby Einstein on. She goes crazy for BE and it gives me a solid 30 minutes if I need to clean, eat something, cook dinner, or just breathe. @virginiaunicorn11 makes a great point about errands being more fun with the baby. I don't hate grocery shopping as much anymore lol.

All of that said, she's my world and I'm so thankful every single day that I'm able to devote all of my energy to her. I get so excited when she hits a new milestone I've been working on with her. And I love the bond we have. There will be days that you need to get away for your sanity and that's okay! Part time daycare is a great suggestion.

MrsRucinski85 · May 2016

I am not a SAHM (although I would love to be!)

my my mom actually lives with us currently and watches the kids. She brings them to baby/toddler time at the library twice a week. They go for walks with some other moms around the neighborhood. walk around Walmart or the grocery store.

She he just does little things to get them outta the house so they aren't here all day. It really helps break up the day and keep her from going crazy with the kids.

Good luck! And I'm sure you will be just fine!

stay at home mom?

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