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January 2017 Moms
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IVF/IUI Moms
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Hi Ladies,
Do you feel uncomfortable (or ashamed) that you went through IVF? Don't get me wrong, I feel INCREDIBLY grateful and lucky that my husband and I could afford this expensive but amazing option, AND the fact that it worked. I really want to keep my journey private (the depressing months of trying/waiting, fertility shot treatments, egg collection/fertilization process, is not something I want to broadcast to everyone.) Especially when EVERYONE I know around me gets pregnant after only 2 months of casually trying!!! It was a REALLY tough time for me. I spent a year feeling like a "failure" as a woman, wondering if I could maybe never have biological children.
I know several other successful IVFers (a few older women) who told me they were bombarded with annoying questions from family/friends/Facebook contacts such as "Are those really your NATURAL children?" " Do Twins run on your side or Dad's side??" "IVF - that's like making test-tube babies, right?" and other very idiotic, insensitive, intrusive questions.
How would you handle this? Brush them off? (END of story)?
Do you feel uncomfortable (or ashamed) that you went through IVF? Don't get me wrong, I feel INCREDIBLY grateful and lucky that my husband and I could afford this expensive but amazing option, AND the fact that it worked. I really want to keep my journey private (the depressing months of trying/waiting, fertility shot treatments, egg collection/fertilization process, is not something I want to broadcast to everyone.) Especially when EVERYONE I know around me gets pregnant after only 2 months of casually trying!!! It was a REALLY tough time for me. I spent a year feeling like a "failure" as a woman, wondering if I could maybe never have biological children.
I know several other successful IVFers (a few older women) who told me they were bombarded with annoying questions from family/friends/Facebook contacts such as "Are those really your NATURAL children?" " Do Twins run on your side or Dad's side??" "IVF - that's like making test-tube babies, right?" and other very idiotic, insensitive, intrusive questions.
How would you handle this? Brush them off? (END of story)?
Re: IVF/IUI Moms
I understand and where you're coming from because society places our value on the efficacy of our reproductive organs BUT- fuck society, man! There's nothing wrong with ART, it should be normalized. 1 in 8 couples have infertility. If you have a bunch of jerks in your life I can understand keeping quiet but I personally would tell them to STFU and mind their own if they're going to be judgmental.
I know if someone told me they had conceived via IVF, I'd have a million questions, but mostly, I'd think it was really cool (not the part where it's stressful for you, just the fact that medical science has brought us to a place where conception is possible where it once might have been difficult!)
I guess I'm still a bit shaken up by the whole process. It really opened my eyes to what many other women are going through! I realize yes, it is a great opportunity to shed some light on how common infertility is, but on the other hand, it brings up many mixed emotions for me. Society does place our value on the efficacy of our reproductive organs BUT- like what you said "fuck society, man!"
The mixed emotions are probably caused by the fact that everyone I know personally (and aquaintances on FB) is sneezing out babies left & right, often by accident, without even trying!
I had always assumed that getting pregnant was automatic unless you had some major condition or disease. Sadly, when you are “trying to get pregnant, and failing" - nobody ever talks about it!