- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
August 2016 Moms
lucypod
member
Social Media - Boundaries/Guidelines/Etiquette
lucypod
member
I was thinking about this topic this morning as I read an article on Baby Center about a woman whose teenage babysitter posted some picture of the woman's daughters on Snapchat, which bothered the mom, but she was calm and intelligent enough to realize that is the society norm these days, especially for teenagers... but how do we as parents handle this issue?
I know that everyone on here is going to run the spectrum as far as how strict they are about social media - some will post non-stop to Facebook, IG, etc. and don't care what anyone else posts (nothing wrong with that), and some are much more reserved and choose not to post or allow others to post anything. Many of us fall somewhere in between. I have a family member who is super strict about it with her child and I do my best to respect that. I'm just curious what some mamas think about this issue and how you intend to handle it moving forward. STMs in both camps (post a lot vs. never post), how have you handled it?
I know that everyone on here is going to run the spectrum as far as how strict they are about social media - some will post non-stop to Facebook, IG, etc. and don't care what anyone else posts (nothing wrong with that), and some are much more reserved and choose not to post or allow others to post anything. Many of us fall somewhere in between. I have a family member who is super strict about it with her child and I do my best to respect that. I'm just curious what some mamas think about this issue and how you intend to handle it moving forward. STMs in both camps (post a lot vs. never post), how have you handled it?
Re: Social Media - Boundaries/Guidelines/Etiquette
As far as others posting pictures go, I can't control 24/7 who takes pictures of DD and the only people who ever post pictures of her are my mom and sisters. DHs family will post pictures of her every now and again but they don't see her often and even if they do they don't take pictures of her.
We live in a social media world there's no changing that. As long as no one posts any inappropriate pictures of her(i.e. Pictures in the bath tub, on the potty, ect) I don't have any issues.
I get really weirded out by people who overshare about their kids, but not just even in photos. Some girls I know are constantly talking about their kids' bathroom habits and other really intimate things that may be funny to share with friends and family, but not the entire internet.
I also think that having a healthy social media relationship with regards to posting about our children will inevitably help us when we're trying to teach them guidelines and boundaries when they're older and are posting themselves.
When DS was born we did have an issue with my in-laws in that whatever picture we would send them of the baby, they would automatically turn around and post it all over their social media. It annoyed the hell out of me, I couldn't help it. Here I was purposely limiting how many photos I posted of my newborn on social media and purposely directly sending them pictures (they were out of state at the time) so that they could see him versus waiting to see pictures on social media, and there they are posting every freaking picture all over Facebook and Instagram.
To end the madness and for my sanity (because no matter how often I asked them to please stop posting so many pictures of him on social media they just did not get it or I think plain old didn't care), I would just send them the picture I already posted :-) Yes, they got less pictures and if they posted it I didn't care because it was an image I was comfortable sharing.
Can you tell I'm all about the Gifs today?
I personally have unfollowed people who post pics of their kids every day. It's a little much. I also don't understand the bathtub, potty training pictures. No thanks, it's not cute to share that with everyone. Your child will grow up one day.
I've already had to talk to my mom about putting things on fb. She kept wanting me to share with everyone we were pregnant before we were ready and then 5 minutes after I posted it, she shared it. Then when we were announcing it was a girl, she asked if she could post it and I said no. We will. I would like to be the one announcing things about my pregnancy.
I think we will have to talk about posting pictures, but once again, I will pretty much control what pictures they get. So until we move back home, hopefully it won't be an issue.
I used to not care at all but then my niece posted a picture of my daughter and a caption saying that she was going to be a big sister this summer. I was only 8 weeks pregnant and hadn't told anyone in our extended family. You have no idea how pissed I was. Because my brother and SIL are so stupid and don't follow their kids on social media, I had to tell my brother to get that post down ASAP.
Long story short...now I care.
I'll probably post about as often as I do now. I post maybe... once a month? I'll likely actually try to increase that, and include the baby because of how far away DH's family is.
That being said, my friends are older than most of the ladies on this board... I'm the baby of the group at 30, and since my husband is turning 39 this year, many of his friends are in their 40's... so our use of social media is likely less. I remember when the great exodus from myspace to facebook happened, when it was opened up beyond college kids in 2006. I was IN college when facebook started, and my husband had already graduated. (Old!) I can't say I even know someone who snap chats ... I think the new guy in the office maybe?
We also live in an area where high speed internet is hard to come by (we're lucky because we have it, but we only do because we live in the town center. It was a consideration when looking for a house) and cell phone service is dicey at best. 4G is definitely not a thing here yet. I think that contributes to a less social media centric culture over all.
What really concerns me these days is that schools have social media accounts that are public. It is my understanding after talking with some friends that have kids in these schools, the school does send a waiver form home with the parents. Usually at the beginning of the school year asking for permission to post photos of their child. I may be in the minority on this one, but this pisses me off. Why would a school want to publicly post a photo of a 5 year old with their name, school, posing with their Presidents Day project. You may as well say to child predators out there, "Here is a cute kid, they go to this school, and are in Mrs. soandso's 5k class at this location."
I understand that schools want to have social media accounts to keep parents up to date on upcoming events and what not, but posting photos of my child, hell no.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I think we will continue with this approach, posting very sporadically to Facebook, and frequently posting to Google Drive or a personal cloud to share with family and friends. This gives the added benefit of being able to control who can download/save photos.
My family basically respects that and understands. I would be annoyed if a babysitter shared something without my clearance first.