Naps driving me crazy

leeeahyo · May 2016

I've posted about naps before and how my DS will only be rocked and held for their entirety--a whopping 30 minutes. He has fought naps since day 1. At bedtime we nurse, rock, and lay him in his crib and he goes down great and will sleep 8-10 hours.

Here lately his naps are driving me insane. He fights them worse than ever. His eyes will be heavy and he will start falling asleep(after at least 20-30 minutes of rocking and white noise) only to begin thrashing and crying and pushing. So if I'm holding him he fights it, if I lay him down in his crib he cries. We've tried the same bedtime routine for naps and it never works. The only time he will settle down is if I lay him in his crib and I stand there (separation anxiety in full force) hunched over and let him cuddle my hand (and no eye contact lol). He ends up playing and smiling and blowing raspberries etc. it's cute but he doesn't go to sleep. He has a lovey. He doesn't take a paci. White noise is going. He turned 7 months on the 30th. His second top tooth popped through a week ago. I've tried extending his wake time. Also I didn't really think we were in need of sleep training because our nightly routine works for us. Any ideas as to what could be going on with him or what I'm doing wrong?

dmbfan46835 · May 2016

There's another leap coming... We are in it now, and the symptoms seem spot on. Maybe he's just got that, the tooth, and a ton of energy? DS is an asshole napper also. Sleeps like a champ for the sitter, not for me tho. Needs held to fall asleep and lately it has been taking up to an hour just to get him worn out enough to give up and sleep.

leeeahyo · May 2016

@dmbfan46835Ahh maybe that's it! The app says we're 5 days from it so he must be hitting it a little early(haven't really noticed timing with past leaps). He has always been a mover and wiggler and he looks around at everything when he should be going to sleep! I've had to rock him in the corner of a room before just so he had nothing to look at. I'm literally the only person that gets him to sleep, DH doesn't get home until after bedtime, so it wears me down and I feel like a crazy lady! My dad was visiting last week and told me to just "let him play in the floor until he rolls over and falls asleep." LOL I wish!!!

dmbfan46835 · May 2016

@leeeahyo I wonder if boys are worse than girls too. Let him play til he falls asleep, HA!! Your dad is adorable, lol!

kmcshane0211 · May 2016

@leeeahyo So, this was us too for the longest time. I spent ALL day revolving around my baby's "naps" bc she would only sleep 30-40 minutes and then need to go down 1.5-2 hours after waking.

Then em one day I kept her up longer. Like three hours between naps and by that time she was so tired she clonked out.

Maybe try keeping your LO up longer? What's you're daily routine like?

jen83mn · May 2016

How long are you going between naps? What's his wake time?

We've been doing 3 hours wake time for a few months now and it works for us. He ends up having one morning nap and one afternoon nap. One usually ends up being 1.5-3 hours and the other is shorter, 30 minutes to an hour.

lynnaeschr · May 2016

This sounds just like my little Mr. The one thing that worked for me to get him to nap in his crib (and I know it sounds crazy and it kinda is) was to curl up in his crib with him, rub his back, or pat his bottom until he fell asleep....then seriously ninja crawl out. He started taking like 1 1/2-2 1/2 hr naps! Only one but it feels like a miracle. Good luck....it can be rough.

leeeahyo · May 2016

@kmcshane0211 @jen83mn
I follow his cues throughout the day. We still seem to be on 3 naps, each lasting about 30 minutes, sometimes 45. He wakes pretty early (4:30/5am--I've tried getting him to go back to sleep after eating but he's always ready to play!) and goes to bed by 6.

Maybe I need to try harder extending his wake time? He starts acting sleepy (rubbing eyes, whining) after roughly 2 hours. What are your tips for distracting your LO an extra hour?

@lynnaeschr
I may try this! I really feel like he would nap better/longer having his own space but he just pops his eyes open every time and the process starts all over(once I get him to sleep again I don't dare attempt putting him down!).

Thank y'all for the advice!

jen83mn · May 2016

That's tough ... if he's acting tired and whiney after 2 hours, maybe he's not ready to extend his wake time yet. Our LO is content and happy until that 3-hour mark hits, so we don't really need to do anything to distract him. His schedule looks like this (times vary depending on how long he naps for):

8:15-8:30 pm: Falls asleep for the night
6:15-6:30 am: Wakes up (sometimes on his own, other times we have to wake him)
8:30/9 am: First nap (his wake time is a little shorter before his first nap of the day). He naps for either 1.5-2.5 hours, or 30 minutes to an hour, depending on the day.
3 hours after waking up: Second nap (short if morning nap was long, long if morning nap was short). We make sure he's awake by 6 pm.
8:15-8:30 pm: Bedtime again

He used to take 3 naps a day up until he was maybe 6 months old. Then we upped his wake time to 3 hours from 2.5 and over a few weeks his naps started to get longer than his usual 45-minute naps. Then he just started taking one long nap a day and one short and it's been like that ever since. You could experiment and try a longer wake time (maybe by 30 minutes) and see how it goes?

Hope you find something that works!

MW5280 · May 2016

Naps are a struggle at our house too! Here's what we've been doing:

- follow the 2-3-4 schedule throughout the day. (First nap is about 2 hours after wake up; second nap starts about 3 hours after she wakes up from nap #1; bedtime is 4 hours after she wakes from nap #2). It isn't perfect but it helps to kind of have this flow for the day.

- I often give her a bottle with handles for her to feed herself in her crib. If she's in that perfect spot of sleepy, she'll zonk out for about an hour.

- if I don't get the timing quite right after her fighting it for 15 minutes, I pull her out of the crib and have her play for another 15 or so. Sometimes I jump the gun too quick.

- frankly, her best naps happen when we are headed to/from school for her older siblings. I hate it but I'd rather she slept than screamed.

leeeahyo · May 2016

@jen83mn thank you! It's worth a shot to try! The whole mood is determined by sleep so I'll try anything! We'll see how today goes.

@MW5280 the timing is so crucial! His best/longest naps have also been in the car. I've even considered just driving around 3 times a day so he's not kicking and pushing and fighting me!

ElleMF728 · May 2016

@MW5280 We recently moved to 2,3,4 as well and I love it. DS2 adjusted to it great and the schedule seems to just naturally work for him.

shelbydd · May 2016

I'm kind of in the same boat except I find LO naps great as long as I hold him. It's frustrating because I can lay with him and he'll nap for an hour for short naps and up to 2 and 1/2 for long ones. But if I lay him in his crib he's up after 20 minutes max, no matter how tired he is. He sleeps great in his crib at night (not sttn but he usually only wakes up once between 7pm and 7am.

ReneeJ2011 · May 2016

We started a 2-3-4 today after we had a teleconference at our local mommy group with a gentle sleep coach who had some great recommendations. So a 6pm bedtime and a 2-3-4 daytime schedule we will see how tonight goes, but os far so good!!!!

lmbrandt · May 2016

@ElleMF728 , @ReneeJ2011

With your 2-3-4 schedule, are you putting your LO down at that hour mark, or they're asleep by that time?

For example, in the morning do you keep them awake for 2 hours, and then lay them down for their nap at that point? Or are you laying them down earlier, with hopes they will be asleep by the 2 hour mark?

We are kind of following this schedule too, I just put my LO down at 3 hours and 15 minutes, but he continued to move around in his crib until about 3 hours and 45 minutes. He has just learned how to pull up to stand, so I don't know if that's causing the extra time it's taking him to fall asleep, but he's been doing that with most naps lately.

He used to fall asleep within 10 min or so, but now it's taking sometimes 30 min! And he's waking up from his afternoon nap much earlier now...after about 45 minutes, when it used to be about an hour and a half. I don't know what's going on?

ElleMF728 · May 2016

lmbrandt said:

@ElleMF728 , @ReneeJ2011

With your 2-3-4 schedule, are you putting your LO down at that hour mark, or they're asleep by that time?

For example, in the morning do you keep them awake for 2 hours, and then lay them down for their nap at that point? Or are you laying them down earlier, with hopes they will be asleep by the 2 hour mark?

We are kind of following this schedule too, I just put my LO down at 3 hours and 15 minutes, but he continued to move around in his crib until about 3 hours and 45 minutes. He has just learned how to pull up to stand, so I don't know if that's causing the extra time it's taking him to fall asleep, but he's been doing that with most naps lately.

He used to fall asleep within 10 min or so, but now it's taking sometimes 30 min! And he's waking up from his afternoon nap much earlier now...after about 45 minutes, when it used to be about an hour and a half. I don't know what's going on?

Standing definitely can affect sleep. It's fun to practice and a great place to practice is when LO is in his crib! Our sleep times generally follow 2,3,4 but I've modified it a bit to work a little better for DS2's personal sleep needs. A typical day is:

Wake at 7 am
Asleep in crib by 9:30-10:30
Asleep in crib by 2-3:30pm
Asleep in crib at bed by 8:00 pm
He wakes 0-1 time overnight to eat.

This is what generally works for him. He falls asleep within minutes and takes fairly decent naps which is my indication. When I have days that he struggles at nap time, takes crap naps or wakes extra at night it is usually because his schedule is off at this point. Although this is what our days usually look like we are flexible if he is showing signs of needing to go to sleep early/late or something. I would play with his wake times a little bit to see if that helps. Cues can become more difficult as LO gets older. For example, DS2 never shows tired cues downstairs but the moment we are in his nursery, white noise on and I start singing he is rubbing his eyes like crazy and yawning.

cmommy13 · May 2016

@ElleMF728 we have a very similar schedule except he wakes more at night right now because he's getting more teeth, already has 6

I was able to extend my wake times when DS gets a little fussy by doing calming activities like a stroller walk outside or baby wearing, just an idea

jen83mn · May 2016

For our 3-hour wake time, we start getting him ready for his nap at the 3-hour mark, so he's usually not asleep for another 15-20 minutes or so after that. He usually goes down pretty quickly for his morning (but his wake time after he wakes up in the morning is only 2-2.5 hours usually), but it's harder to get him asleep for his afternoon nap most days.

leeeahyo · May 2016

I have a question for you ladies. So LO has improved some since I originally posted as far as fighting me for the nap goes but here's my issue: his wake time is SO early and he will not go back to sleep. So roughly:
4/4:30am-wake (I try every morning to nurse and get him back to sleep but it never happens, we are up for the day)
6:30 - nap (30 minutes)
10:00 - nap (again..30 minutes)
2:00 - nap (30min)
5:00 - start bedtime routine and he's asleep by 6:00.
He's obviously not getting enough sleep during these catnaps, I just don't know what to do to get him to nap longer? Is it one of those things that'll just click one day?
Ugh naps

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