December 2016 Moms
LinziLoo09
member
Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice
LinziLoo09
member
Hey ladies,
A few of us were thinking it might be helpful for STMs to be able to share everything you'll never read in the What to Expect. I learned a lot from a similar discussion in my first BMB. So STMs, let's get those chips off those shoulders, and FTMs, ask any question you can muster. I'll start with a few of my own nuggets of wisdom/horror:
1. In third tri:
I got charley horses almost nightly.
At that point baby kicks resemble a demon trying to violently escape a human host.
My insides were so cramped with baby that by the end of the night I felt claustrophobic in my own body. This was only relieved by a morning poop the next day.
2. Pushing during labor feels like taking the biggest poop of your life...and you likely will be pooping a little bit too. I did. Join my poo club.
3. After birth, every time I stood up from the couch, it felt like my organs were going to fall out of my vag. SO much pressure in the lady bits. HOARD the icy maxi pads from the hospital. Shit, do it for fun. Those things are soothing even if you haven't had a kid. Also stock up on hemorrhoid pads with witch hazel.
4. When your milk drops, Ba-BAAAAAAM! Welcome ladies! I went from an A cup to a C literally overnight (back to status: pathetic now though).
I have many more grotesque tid bits to share, but I figure I'll let a few other ladies show their bits before I hand over my tids. Have at it, girls!
A few of us were thinking it might be helpful for STMs to be able to share everything you'll never read in the What to Expect. I learned a lot from a similar discussion in my first BMB. So STMs, let's get those chips off those shoulders, and FTMs, ask any question you can muster. I'll start with a few of my own nuggets of wisdom/horror:
1. In third tri:
I got charley horses almost nightly.
At that point baby kicks resemble a demon trying to violently escape a human host.
My insides were so cramped with baby that by the end of the night I felt claustrophobic in my own body. This was only relieved by a morning poop the next day.
2. Pushing during labor feels like taking the biggest poop of your life...and you likely will be pooping a little bit too. I did. Join my poo club.
3. After birth, every time I stood up from the couch, it felt like my organs were going to fall out of my vag. SO much pressure in the lady bits. HOARD the icy maxi pads from the hospital. Shit, do it for fun. Those things are soothing even if you haven't had a kid. Also stock up on hemorrhoid pads with witch hazel.
4. When your milk drops, Ba-BAAAAAAM! Welcome ladies! I went from an A cup to a C literally overnight (back to status: pathetic now though).
I have many more grotesque tid bits to share, but I figure I'll let a few other ladies show their bits before I hand over my tids. Have at it, girls!
Re: Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice
2. Your vagina will at some point resemble a cheeseburger.
3. At some point during 3rd tri I developed crusty spots on my nipples that I could flake off.
Boom.
As for the pads from the hospital, ASK FOR MORE. Don't be shy. They'll give them to you, they know the drill.
Try to convince your DH that you shouldn't tell anyone the baby is born until you're in your room after the birth. Give yourselves time to meet the baby and be a family for an hour or so in the labor room (where they usually keep you for a bit to monitor you) before the hoards descend. My in-laws joined us post haste in the labor room once DS was born, and I wish we'd had more time to ourselves. Although it did give me time to wolf down the turkey sandwich that was all that was available from the cafeteria at 9pm, haha.
Also- I don't care how uh-may-zing you feel at 4wks PP, DONT lift the ridiculously heavy totes of clothing for your new babe. The fever, chills, and narrowly missed incision infection is not worth it. Just try so super hard to wait the full 6wks. Seriously. Just do it.
2. When your milk comes in, your boobs will be like watermelons (like @LinziLoo09 said). It will also feel like they are made out of cement for a short time until things regulate.
3. Use the numbing spray that the hospital gives you! Stitches or not, that mess is sore and the spray is magical.
ETA: oops, @emisi's comment wasn't loading when I posted! So clearly we're not joking about the hard boobs haha
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
The best thing I could ever say to any FTM would be to be gracious with yourself. Your story may not play out the way the birthplan was written. BFing might not be instantaneous, or it presents some quirks and hiccups (like needing to supplement, or solely pump).. Hell, it might not even work out at all. You may find you desperately want/need the nurses to take your babe for *gasp* 2 nights in a row. You will find yourself so incredibly drained in all facets ... Be so gracious to yourself. Even when you're in a puddle of whoremonal tears and breastmilk (or formula!) you'll still be such a good mom.
-Did you know your feet can grow during pregnancy? Yeah, I didn't either. Mine went from a size 8.5 to a 10 after 31 weeks with my first daughter. Buying new shoes to wear for a whole two months was a fun expense. They slowly went back to normal over the course of a year.
-Pregnancy induced carpal tunnel. I couldn't keep my hands on my desk at work for more than a few minutes at a time before they started tingling and went numb. It sucked, but at least it gave me a good excuse to just sit there and do nothing
-Echoing @LinziLoo09, the ice packs!!! Seriously the best things ever. Take as many as you can get your hands on. When the nurses have shift change, put all the supplies in your take home bag and ask the new nurse to re-stock you. And then stick one in your mesh panties every chance you get. SO GOOD.
-And yeah, I'm also a member of the poo during delivery club. It sounds like the worst thing in the world but you probably won't even realize it's happening.
G born 10/25/12 | H born 3/25/14
TTC#3 since 7/2015
Early loss 12/2015 most likely due to low progesterone
Began medicated cycles (Femara/Ovidrel/Endometrin) with TI 1/2016
BFP 3/22, EDD 12/4/16 ~ It's a GIRL!
1. One of my biggest pieces of knowledge I want to share is that you DO NOT have to take all or any of the pain meds offered to you. I had a very complicated end of pregnancy and delivery and was already on SO many meds. I had a baby in the NICU and everytime I turned around people were trying to shove drugs in my IV or mouth. They actually got shitty telling me that 'I'd be in pain later and would have to wait my turn at that time.' If you don't need the drugs, don't take the drugs.
2. I had the chills and was shivering terribly during cesarian and a few hours after delivery. Involuntary teeth chattering.
3. You will bleed (post delivery) an incredible amount even with a c-section. This was a huge surprise to me.
4. Nurses come in to 'massage your fundus' after birth. It's akin to someone putting all of their weight on your uterus after JUST having a baby. I've never been more Mis-lead with the word massage. It will make you want to punch your nurse in the face. They keep coming back to do it.
I bled for 9wks. NINE WEEKS. No one ever told me that would be a possibility. Ugh. Jerks.
Another vote for not having tons of visitors at the hospital. You may feel like total crap for a while. You don't want everyone you know there right away. Trust me.
If you have help available when you get home (DH/SO, helpful parents, siblings or friends) let them help you! Accepting help and not trying to do it all ourselves really saved us both times around. They cooked some meals, held the baby while I napped, did laundry etc and it was a godsend. I was worried I might feel like my time with the baby was compromised or feel awkward having people around post partum but it wasn't weird and so worth it to have some help. Now if your family is annoying or would burden you then this may not be practical advice.
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
BFP#1 & MC:August 2015 BFP: #2 10/01/2015 MC: 10/09/2015 BFP #3: 12/22/2015 @ 5 weeks MC/CP: 12-23-2015
Fertility Appointment: Feb 23/16, Hysteroscopy 03/02/2016,
BFP #4: 03/31/16 EDD 12/01/2016
Thank you ladies for starting this thread!! This is the real ish.
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
My linea nigra also took about 9 months to go away. Which if you don't know what that is it is a harmless dark line that may show up on your stomach starting in the 2nd or 3rd tri
First, ditto to everything already said, it's all 100% true
@phoenix870509 - Hell Yes you have a say so! My Mother had flown in from across the country and we still waited 3hrs before having visitors. You'll need time. Seriously. Take it
C-section moms - there's a thing call referred pain. Essentially, our nerves run rampant throughout our bodies, you have no idea what's connected. During my c-section, in addition to the uncontrollable shaking (the OR is FREEZING and your adrenaline is on high) I was having excruciating pain in my left shoulder. The anesthesiologist added a bit more meds and then informed me nerves in my abdomen were evidently tied to my arm and there was nothing he could do but it'd be over soon. True on all accounts.
Also for c-sections, move move move as soon as you can. I was up in a chair a few hours after (DS was born at 1010), walking by that evening and doing laps around the nurses station before I left. Definitely helped recovery time
I have no words for the size/hardness of milk filled breasts. I was Not prepared
Also not everyone will have a horrible recovery. I was picking things up off the floor with-in 24hrs. I also felt up to and did go back to full day meetings at 10 days PP.
ETA:clarity. Tired typing is bad for grammar.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
oh and i second the stool softeners... I didn't poop for three of four days after delivery and it was kinda terrifying with all the pressure and recovery going on down there.
also word to the wise, invest in a mattress protector because between the puddle inducing hormonal night sweats, and the uncontrollable milk fountains coming from your nips, the volume of bodily fluid in your bed is going to be out of control.
TTC since June 2015
September Football Siggy
I second, third, or fourth the hard boobs comments. Mine felt like a bag full of golf balls.
Oh also, your milk can be kind of uncontrollable at first. DD would latch, get the milk to drop, and unlatch. And my milk would SHOOT her in the face, sometimes from 7-10 inches away. It's like having uncontrollable water guns.
And I wish someone had told me this...dysphoric milk ejection reflex. So prolactin has to be released in order for your milk to drop, and dopamine inhibits prolactin. So about a minute before your milk drops, your dopamine levels will drop. Most people seem to not sense this at all; however, dopamine affects a lot of people's moods. You can feel anxious, depressed, or even angry when it's tampered with. So I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack every time I breastfed. The sensation would only last a minutes or two, but it was very upsetting at first. Eventually when I would feel panicky, I just realized my milk was about to drop, and I could just push through it, but I think this is something that can deter breastfeeding for sure. One of my friends who had no PP depression said she felt like "the saddest person in the world" only when she breastfed, and she quit after two weeks.
Also do NOT hold a mirror to your lady bits to survey the damage...even after a few months. It will never look the same again. And sex after 6 weeks can hurt terribly - but it will get back to normal.
The shaking, I believe, can come from an epidural or the other drugs they can give you with c-sections. Our birth class warned us of that, and even after my vaginal birth, I was shaking uncontrollably.
Your epidural can WEAR OFF, and they may not give you another one. So don't get it too early! Though I got an epi, it wore off three hours before DD was born, so I felt everything.
Be flexible with your birth plan. Have your goals but understand that you haven't been through it before, so thinks might not work out the way you expect. I did not expect to have contractions every 3 minutes (front AND BACK) for 22.5 hours. I made it 12 hours without medication, but I started puking from the pain during contractions, so my birth plan changed. Sticking too hard to a birth plan can lead to a lot of stress and guilt. Just do what you need to do to get the baby out safely. That's what matters most.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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the one thing no one told me that I wish I had heard before labor:
unless told otherwise, your labor is going fine and normal, labor just really is that crazy.
I have had three vaginal births, and all three were completely different. I've done it with no meds, with an epidural, and with an epidural that failed and had to be removed (so no meds!). Just go into it knowing that the doctors/nurses/midwifes know what they're doing and that even though you may have a birth plan, the most important thing is getting your baby out safely.
Oh man, the peri bottle. I took two home just in case one broke. Those things are lifesavers.
My hospital didn't have specific ice packs, so I filled up hospital gloves with water and froze them. Looked kind of creepy sticking those in my underwear, but so worth it.
Also, stock up on cheap granny underwear because you will be ruining them for weeks. A lot of them I just tossed instead of trying to wash.
Don't let the nurses force you out of bed too quickly; they might be on you to get up and pee or shower soon after birth. With two of my babes, I fainted because I stood up too soon.
Also, you will feel like a potty training toddler by the reaction you get after you first use the toilet. I half expected a gold star on my chart.
My my first PP period didn't occur until I stopped pumping. Some people can get it while BFing/pumping so it's not an exact science. It was an insane amount of flow with cramps (for me) that were similar to early contractions. This is normal - your body is relearning how to do things after 1+ year of being on hiatus.
Its the gift that just keeps on giving.
https://earthmamaangelbaby.com/products/mama-bottom-balm.html
they hurt so badly. I never had them before and haven't had them since I delivered. Forget tucks odd for the hemmroids... This little balm is amazing instant relief! the company also makes a new mama bottom spray which is super gentle and very soothing. Even if you don't tear you will still enjoy it! I actually liked it better than the hospital spray!
Be nice to the nurses. Be nice to the nurses. It makes a difference. I had an amazing set of nurses both times, with DS my nurse cried when we left. She said I was the best patient she has had in a long time and she really needed that. I didn't act like a suck up, but I said please and thank you, we brought them muffins when my husband went out for some. She hooked me up with supplies when I left without me even asking.
Those uterine massages are no massage. Brace yourself.
They don't always get the epidural on the first try, infact it took 3 for DD. DS he got it in the first time but I wasn't as numb and I had to tilt to my right to get the best numbness lol.
Tearing sucks. Use the ice pads/diapers and take it easy. Trust me the pain is way worse if you over do it.
If you are a negative blood type, DO NOT take the rhogam shot in the arm. It hurts! Take it in the hip area, much less painful.
The peri-bottle is a godsend. DO NOT leave the hospital without it. Take everything you can: diapers, wipes, take a baby blanket!
Speaking of baby blankets, if you have pets at home I would suggest sending a baby blanket home to your pets so they can smell your littlest one before you even get home. It was a great idea from one of our nurses.