Anyone not going back to work after baby? HELP!?

douglamj · May 2016

Is anyone not going back to work after they have their baby? I am not telling my current employer I found a new part time job until I am on maternity leave. I am now having an internal battle that I should give them a heads up so they can get someone else hired but I am afraid they would screw me over...any thoughts?

KKnight1154 · May 2016

I'm in the same boat. I'm not telling work mainly because I didn't want to decide and then find out that I go stir crazy at home and want to work. We do have a day care set up, and I have a replacement trained. It actually might end up working for the best because he was hired for an other position he's not qualified for and was on loan to me for my maternity leave, and I think he'll do better in my department. He's catching on with some of my responsibilities and my other co-worker will handle the more complicated stuff. He actually used to handle it before I was hired so it's no extra work for him.

Plus I paid for my STD I should be able to use it and wouldn't be able to if I gave notice before LO is born.

That said I do feel incredibly guilty about having my decision pretty much made, but with changes in our department that feeling is going away incredibly fast.

itsbrookejones · May 2016

I'm not going back but haven't told them either, mainly because I'm using short term disability after she's born. I'll give them two weeks notice toward the end of it:) I'm pretty sure they know I'm not coming back but they are being nice about it.

rlworzalla · May 2016

I'm partially going back to work - I do in home therapy and will probably pick up one or two 3-hour shifts a week just to keep a continual job on the resume and bring in a little bit of income (and let's face it, get out of the house). It doesn't pay for me to work full time because the availability of hours would be spread from 8a-8p and it's impossible to find daycare in our area (we live in a small town) for that time period. Plus we own a business as well as DH working, so our business will supplement my missing income. If you are using STD, I would notify your employer after maternity leave starts, because they could just fire you and you would lose that disability option.

TinaTho · May 2016

I'm planning on negotiating for part-time return only towards the end of FMLA. I've tried to be as supportive of the person I've been training to cover me while out in an effort to leave them in the best possible position if my return doesn't work out. I refuse to go back full time, mainly because I have a 2-3 hour daily commute and I can't stomach leaving my daughter for that long at day care. That being said, the VP of my department is relatively aware that this is likely to happen and obviously aware that because of health insurance and FMLA complications I can't just out and start the process now. It's a shame it has to be this way if you are trying to protect yourself and the benefits you have earned.

Bottom line, while we all would like to be up front you are right to be cautious. If you give them notice or make them aware of your new employment arrangement they would have no reason to allow for disability/FMLA. And even if they don't want to hurt you, businesses will choose to do what is best for them - just as you should do what is best for you.

lionstigersbears · May 2016

I decided to leave my job prior to maternity leave and not use the short term disability benefits. Even in a big city, the non profit world in which I work is a small world itself and it didn't feel worth it to me to risk being viewed as someone who took advantage. To be clear, I don't believe using a benefit you've paid into to have is taking advantage. Perception is just a powerful thing and given my circumstances this was the best approach for me.

Dasha420 · May 2016

The job that I had was a part-time position at that had absolutely no benefits. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I decided that I would be a stay at home mom. He has been supporting me from the beginning of the relationship even before we moved in together. I feel like I got very lucky in this respect, I gave in my two week notice several weeks before my due date. I didn't want to burn bridges.

bkjade · May 2016

I'm using short term disability so I can't let them know I'm not returning. I think they probably are aware I'm not coming back and are being nice about it. It's a bummer, because I'd much rather give them notice, but that isn't an option with STD. I'll definitely be giving them notice when I get towards the end of my "leave" though.

douglamj · May 2016

Thank you all for your advice! I am going to be on FMLA with using my vacation and sick time to be paid at the beginning. Does anyone know if they can screw me out of any of that or my insurance?

KKnight1154 · May 2016

Not sure if they can screw you out of vacation, it probably depends on your company. With mine you used to accrue time so if you were fired or left they would pay out what was left, or you would pay if you used future time. They changed to a use it or lose policy and dumped all the time in a bucket at the first of the year. With all the dr's appointments and having to use a week of PTO before STD kicks in, there's a chance that if I give my notice after coming back for a week or two I may have to pay some of that time back when they calculate everything. Our handbook is so vague that it doesn't really detail obligations for leaving part way through the year.

Not sure with insurance. When I spoke with HR I phrased it as in the unlikely event there's a complication and I decide to not come back to work after FMLA how is insurance handled and I was told I wouldn't be responsible for paying it back and I would have the option to pick up COBRA benefits as well. Our HR department gives conflicting information so I'm curious to see how this plays out as well. Do you have the option of going on your partner's insurance once your LO is here? That is what my husband and I are planning on doing within 30 days of birth, as his has better coverage. Even though it's more expensive we figured it was a good trade off as more things would be covered in our local dr's office than is currently covered now.

This is what I've experienced so far and I'm sorry that I really can't provide more useful information.

KKnight1154 · May 2016

lionstigersbears I would typically agree that perception is everything, even more so when it comes to a non-profit. The only thing that's keeping me from feeling super guilty about everything is that we haven't fully decided one way or another. We figured FMLA is a good test to see if we can afford being on one salary and if I even want to stay home at all.

TinaTho · May 2016

@douglamj

It depends on company policy but my understanding is that they are not typically legally obligated to pay out for vacation or sick time if you are leaving voluntarily. And honestly even if you were let go severance packages are largely at a company's discretion. I've had friends leave and not get paid out on time (not related to maternity leave) and yet my mother when she left her position while relocating was paid out for over 50 days of PTO.

Insurance, at least in NY but I think it's national, they must allow for Cobra coverage for 12-18 (I think the 18 months may have only been during the recession) months after termination but that will cost you. I believe most Cobra charges for comprehensive plans range from $600-1400 per month. So if you are technically gone as of the day you are home with LO, you'd be immediately be responsible for that. The tricky thing is that if you give notice after or near the end of disability/FMLA most companies do not retro-adjust for Cobra but commence from the date of notice. This portion I verified with my former co-worker a few months ago. As I was very concerned about a retro invoice of $3,000 if it doesn't work out for me.

katxattack1212 · May 2016

I didn't return to my employers with my first two. I did go back to work, but got new jobs each time. Both times being mostly planned this way. I simply gave notice about a month prior to my expected return date.
The first time, I worked for a larger corporation. They didn't even flinch. Actually, I don't even think they knew I didn't return. I kept getting health insurance cards and info about change in plans. Took two years for them to finally listen to me...hey, you guys are paying a health premium for someone who quit 2 years ago! I called at least 4 times, too.
Second time, smaller employer. Dropped subtle hints to my good friend who was also the manager. She got it, kept it private until I was sure and had no issues. Again, I gave a solid month notice.

lionstigersbears · May 2016

KKnight1154 said:

lionstigersbears I would typically agree that perception is everything, even more so when it comes to a non-profit. The only thing that's keeping me from feeling super guilty about everything is that we haven't fully decided one way or another. We figured FMLA is a good test to see if we can afford being on one salary and if I even want to stay home at all.

It sounds like the right move for you! No judgements here

as for what they can and can't take from you it varies so much. With my first I took short term disability and had to pay my full insurance premium (usually partially covered for employees) and was obligated to use my sick time during 10 day waiting period prior to benefit kicking in. No experience with FMLA.

AmmyBelle · May 2016

Just entering a word of caution: check your contract. They may be able to sue for any wages paid if you leave under certain circumstances. My SO's company has a clause in their contracts that limits their ability to just quit during parental leave, so read your contract!

Otherwise, I would say: you don't owe your work anything. It's harsh, but it's true. You're own life plans ought to come before any obligations to work and if you want to leave, you should. And leaving them in a bind ought to be second on the list of considerations imo, and so I agree with PPs - you're right to be cautious. Good luck!

saladflambe · May 2016

I'm going back to work. If I was not, I would've told them far in advance due to the nature of my job. My company is only 9 people right now, and if I were leaving, it would be a big deal.

saraleigh2 · May 2016

I'm in the same boat! I'm on STD now and will go on maternity leave for 6 wks, the last 2 wks I will give my notice. My boss has been horrible my whole pregnancy and I don't want to give her another way to screw me over so I'm keeping them in the dark. I wish there was a better way to do this but, there isn't... I've been a good employee for the last almost 9 yrs, so I'm just going to go w/ that I've always done my best and right now my family just has to come first.

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