Potty Training
mom2fallbabies
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3.5 YO Not Potty Trained
mom2fallbabies
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I have a 3.5 year old daughter who refuses to potty train. Long story short: she hates the little potty and refuses to sit on it; she is scared of the big toilet but will sit on it if I'm there (only me, not my husband, and since I work FT outside the home and he's a SAHD that presents a problem); we've tried treats, stickers, rewards, and everything else - none of it works; we've tried making it "her" idea, getting her excited about it, buying her special underwear, promising presents, "showing" her how we both do it, and leaving her naked all day - she's indifferent to it all; she tells us after she has gone (this is new) but not before; if she's naked she just goes on the couch; she HAS gone on the potty, but only if we leave her there for hours at a time; if we try to make her go on a schedule she just holds it (pee and poop) until her pull-up/diaper is back on. I'm at my wits end. With another LO due in November, I'm despairing at having 3 in diapers. And then there's the joy of hearing how everyone else at work got their kid potty trained at 18 month and the looks that tell me that clearly I am a failure at parenthood. Is there anyone out there who had a very late potty trainer? Do you have any encouragement for me? I'll take any advice, but I'd really just love to hear that I'm not alone (even though I feel bad that anyone else is in the same boat...).
Re: 3.5 YO Not Potty Trained
My daughter turned three in Feb. She has only been "trained" a few weeks. I actually ran out of diapers. Rather than run out and buy some more, I said let try some panties. Previously she would wear panties here/there. She would hold her pee, then when she had to use the bathroom, she would ask for a diaper.
The first day, she held it then had an accident. The second day, same thing, she held it and had an accident. The third day, I was getting ready to go get some diapers when she started peeing in the potty. We have both the little one and an insert that fits into the toilet. Like you, I was at the point of bribing her with treats, tablet/movie time, etc.
The third day, she would pee in the potty but the BMs were another story. She eventually went on the third day, but I distracted her with my phone so she was playing a game, while going. She refused to go at daycare for the first week. She would hold it until we got home or have an accident. Now, we are on week four of her being trained. The second week, she just started going at daycare and now the only time I really need to remind her is in the mornings when we get ready otherwise she goes on her own.
When she starts to show interest and/or asks, put her back on the pot. Have her go every 1-2 hours, but only have her sit on the pot for 1-5 minutes. Even if she doesn't use the pot, give her a reward and/or some positive reinforcement. Unfortunately, she is just not developmentally ready yet. I wouldn't even bother with pull ups. Either just use a diaper or the panties (or diaperless).
*Also I don't know of any kids under the age of 2 who are potty trained. That's awfully early. Usually those that are trained early, also have a regression. Even training at the age of 2 is kind of pushing it. The normal age is between 3-3.5 years.
Lastly, I see you have an almost 18 month old. You may want to consider PT that one and maybe then she'll realize if her younger sibling can do it she most certainly can. I disagree with SLGILL1978 about early training. My 4 kids were fully PT (daytime, naps & bedtime) at 14 months, 15 months & 2 at 17 months old and we NEVER had regression (I can speak only for the older 3 since my 22 month old has been PT for only 5 months but hasn't had accidents in that time). It was pretty simple to- depending on the child it took 2-7 days. Because of my experience, I've helped my friends PT their children prior to 2 with no issues. 35+ years ago most kids were PT by 18 months old with no issues. It wasn't until disposable diapers were more accessible and mothers were more commonly working outside the home that PT got pushed back longer and longer.
He's still not potty trained, but it seems to be helping. I'm also not going to complain about the little one being interested in it