Irrational Rant

Aera11 · May 2016

I am CD 32 and still no temp spike, which hasn't really surprised me but I was hoping maybe I would O... I bought pregnancy tests anyways, why are they so expensive? Why hasn't anyone invented one like a thermometer where you can sanitize and reuse?!

***pregnancy mentioned below (not mine)***

My real rant is a childhood friend who is due September 1st. We aren't close anymore but our families are friends and we grew up with shared friends. Anyways, she is like 23 weeks and told me around 13/14 weeks but hasn't told anyone else. We just got an email inviting a bunch of us over for a Derby party next weekend and none of our friends know she is pregnant. Is it wrong that I don't want to go? Her husband has already offended me and my husband numerous times, which is why we aren't close (she doesn't know this). I just can't be around insensitive people and knowing that no one else knows, this whole party will be about them being pregnant and I don't think I can stomach it. AF will be due right around the time of this party and I think I will just be a hormonal mess. Her husband is literally a horrid human being and I am afraid I will go off on him at his own party (side note: he has told a bunch of us he only wants boys, um ok. That isn't offensive or anything!). DH and I are planning on skipping anything baby related for them...and I don't care how it looks. Rant over.

catiecatp · May 2016

I don't really know what to say - other than hugs and love sent your way

mylittleversailles · May 2016

You don't have to go anywhere or be around anyone you don't want it. Especially not with misogynists, yuckkkkkyyy. You have to protect yourself. Cultivate a world where you are supported, uplifted and pushed to grow upwards. Be merciless when it comes to protecting your bliss and inner world.

BornReady · May 2016

Ditto, @reneeannemm . You do not have to do anything that does not work for you. Life is too short.

PS, your reusable pregnancy test idea is genius. Why hasn't someone made one yet?!?!? Wondfos are a bargain, if you must test, I buy those.

BrightenMySky · May 2016

Go shopping. Watch Netflix. Make cookies. Wash your hair. All things I would suggest instead of going to the party (or seeing them in general). You know what you need to do to take care of you, it is totally fine to do it. Hugs.

Aera11 · May 2016

Thank you, thank you for your unconditional support @catiecatp @reneeannemm @BornReady & @BrightenMySky! I don't know what I'd do without you all. I tried being a good friend to her/them but it back fired long ago when they were getting married..and now, with all of this..it's just too much, at least for now. Luckily, it is a last minute party so I think we can miss without it being the end of the world (to them). I wish other people could fill our shoes for an hour even, to feel our heavy hearts and grief. Maybe then they could at least show a little empathy.

@BornReady maybe I need to invent the reusable pee stick

what a great distraction! But seriously, why doesn't that exist?! I know FR, ClearBlue, etc would hate it...but those of us that pee on countless ones month after month, it would be more economical and ecofriendly. Where do I find wondfos? I have seen them mentioned in other posts, but I usually buy a combo of Target digital, FR and ClearBlue.

roxgibbons · May 2016

You've been through enough- the last thing you need is to be around a person you can't stand and be put in an uncomfortable situation. Do you!

BrightenMySky · May 2016

@Aera11 I've bought Wondfos on Amazon. Not sure where else you can get them, but definitely there.

MrsDramaK · May 2016

@Aera11 definitely second buying wondfos on Amazon, but check wondfo's website and make sure your buying from a verified seller. I've read about sellers, selling fakes and people getting false BFPs and it (understandably) causing a lot of heartbreak.

MWoodside · May 2016

Whether the reason seems irrational or rational, the bottom line is that if you think a situation is more than you can handle then don't go! You really don't even need a reason, it can be as simple as I don't feel like going. I am grateful to have gotten to a place in life where I just don't even feel bad about stuff like that anymore.

Spartanrd4 · May 2016

*Hugs* You have to feel what you feel, we are only human- I had a triggering moment last week at work and even though the person thought they were comforting me, they only made me feel worse about myself for feeling the way I do (she made me feel indirectly like "why are you still upset about this" and questioned if I need to "talk to someone" because apparently I'm not coping correctly)....easy for someone to say who so far has a perfect pregnancy and has no idea how I feel. I saw her at a party this past saturday and completely ignored her and her husband....I just can't be around them right now and I am not sorry for that. You have to do you right now and no one should question it.

yolandamunoz · May 2016

You don't have to put up with disgusting people at this moment if your life. Period!!!

hugs to you!
-Y

ps: I'm interested in the reusable pregnancy test :-D

BrightenMySky · May 2016

@Spartanrd4 that is the worst. When someone thinks they're being comforting so you just feel like you have to take it and then avoid future interactions.

Wishilivedinflorida · May 2016

Echo all PP: Don't feel guilty and don't be sorry for doing what it takes to protect your heart and sanity.

SnobunnieMel · May 2016

I am on board with all the PP's. I have purposely cut out people and events or situations since our losses and at first I felt guilty about it, but then I figured this out: don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about what it takes to get you through. You have been through enough pain without compiling to it. A good person will excuse you for stepping back to heal, a horrible person will make you feel selfish for taking time for you and no one needs bad people in their life anyway. Only make room for the good

fivetimesnoluck · May 2016

I agree with everyone here and don't have much to add, except I am so happy to see that these feelings are so natural. I have felt conflicted and sometimes guilty over doing what I needed to do for myself/my mental health.... but we just have to let that shit go!

fivetimesnoluck · May 2016

Plus, her husband sounds like a real tool. I have a lower tolerance for douchebaggery than I used to... so if you're like me, it is likely in everyone's best interest for you to avoid him!

Aera11 · May 2016

Ah seriously, thank you ladies

I feel better today, but I know other things will come up regarding their baby (shower, the birth, etc) so I think now I am more prepared to handle those situations. I think the weirdest part is that they haven't really told anyone or gone public (she told me they hadn't had a MC so I know that isn't the reason behind their hesitation).

@yolandamunoz I told my DH about the reusable test and he's like, what...how does that not exist? Nope!! K, if I ever patent/invent that, you all be the first to know

lol

@fivetimesnoluck he is a MAJOR MAJOR tool. I used to try to enjoy his company, etc. but he really has shown his true colors, multiple times. I try to not think about him much and not let him irritate me, but this is such a sensitive subject and emotional time that my patience is pretty much gone.

yolandamunoz · May 2016

Seriously @Aera11 it would be a very popular kickstarter around here!

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