Hubs and I went out for lunch with LO today. LO was in his stroller and Mama Bear had to come out when a stranger was asking about our baby and then tried to touch him. Don't touch my baby! Little guy is a preemie and precious and MINE! Surely I'm not the only one like this? I don't mind at all if someone asks about my baby, but why do people think they can touch him?!
Me: 31 DH: 40 Married 2012 TTC #2 since July 2016 PCOS diagnosed 2008
Update: I took the test. It was negative. I'm ok with that at this time. I love my baby to pieces and I'm a miserable pregnant person, at least this last pregnancy was horrible any way my first one was not as bad but anyway I want to be able to enjoy this handsome little rainbow baby as long as I can.
It just crossed into Saturday morning but what they hey....my FFFC is I told my DH his flight/travel insurance doesn't let him cancel his ticket and get the money back. He has not flown before and mentioned hes not sure about his flight Sunday morning. The flight is a tad over an hour. I know he won't take the time to read the booklet and fine print. I really don't want him trying to cancel at this late hour and putting 1500 miles on his 2 month old new car, when we could have made arrangements for an affordable bus or rental alternative long ago when he first was booking the flight..sorry, not sorry.
It's no longer Friday and I'm sure this isn't really a "confession" to anyone else other than my husband, but I am thinking after the experience of pregnancy and the newborn phase I may be one and done. I had always figured I'd have two, but this whole process has just been harder on me, both physically and mentally than I imagined. I'm nearly 3 months out and my endocrinologist still hasn't been able to get my thyroid under control and thinks it may take another 2 months of tweaking, which means another two months of symptoms like anxiety, depression, insomnia, edema, etc. It's improving and that's awesome, but I'm disheartened that it's taking so long to be really back to normal. I'm also having to go in for yet another silver nitrate treatment for granulation tissue (this will be the third!) for this one internal tear that just won't heal up. Also, I haven't lost much of the baby weight at all (only 10 pounds down, about 25-30 to go.) So, all said and done, I'm thinking I won't be really and truly recovered for another few months, maybe a year!
Having LO has really impacted my career as well, as far as having to miss out on several advancement opportunities while at the tail end of my pregnancy and again while on leave. And while I'm happy to make that sacrifice for my LO, who I adore and am so grateful for, I don't know about doing it again, age wise. If I were 30 or even 33 I'd be singing a different tune, but I'll be 36 this fall and the earliest I'd start trying would be 37. It just seems like once I'm fully recovered and back in the swing of things work wise and life wise, it'll all be undone again, (and at a very crucial time frame, career wise) and I just feel too old at the moment to do that. (Not just age wise, but health wise.)
Anyway, once I started to allow myself to think of LO as an only, I started to get excited about things, like never having morning sickness again, getting to travel with her and contribute more to her college fund, the fact that we wouldn't have to move or upgrade the car, the idea of me (at some point) being able to return to my hobbies and spend time with my husband. And I wouldn't feel terrified about not being able to keep my head above water with my career, my husband's career, and two kids. Everything I envision with an only all seems very, very appealing and like a relief, honestly.
I still am not sure, and it's definitely way too early for me to make the call, and I do feel a pang of sadness at the thought of never getting to meet another tiny little baby who is mine, but it's something I've been considering seriously for the first time this week and it feels kind of liberating.
Re: FFFC
Married 2012
TTC #2 since July 2016
PCOS diagnosed 2008
Having LO has really impacted my career as well, as far as having to miss out on several advancement opportunities while at the tail end of my pregnancy and again while on leave. And while I'm happy to make that sacrifice for my LO, who I adore and am so grateful for, I don't know about doing it again, age wise. If I were 30 or even 33 I'd be singing a different tune, but I'll be 36 this fall and the earliest I'd start trying would be 37. It just seems like once I'm fully recovered and back in the swing of things work wise and life wise, it'll all be undone again, (and at a very crucial time frame, career wise) and I just feel too old at the moment to do that. (Not just age wise, but health wise.)
Anyway, once I started to allow myself to think of LO as an only, I started to get excited about things, like never having morning sickness again, getting to travel with her and contribute more to her college fund, the fact that we wouldn't have to move or upgrade the car, the idea of me (at some point) being able to return to my hobbies and spend time with my husband. And I wouldn't feel terrified about not being able to keep my head above water with my career, my husband's career, and two kids. Everything I envision with an only all seems very, very appealing and like a relief, honestly.
I still am not sure, and it's definitely way too early for me to make the call, and I do feel a pang of sadness at the thought of never getting to meet another tiny little baby who is mine, but it's something I've been considering seriously for the first time this week and it feels kind of liberating.