When do you tell your work?

msu_gal · April 2016

I'm just curious when others plan on talking to their boss & coworkers? I'm feeling huge and wondering how much longer I can wear bagging shirts and try to cover it.

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt · April 2016

I told my jobs around 8-12 weeks or so when I was pregnant with my others. For safety reasons, I've had to disclose as soon as I found out due to possible clinical exposures, though I only 'officially' advised my faculty this week (they knew beforehand. It wasn't a secret.)

Its entirely up up to you when you tell.

shevaCC · April 2016

Special snowflake since I work in a remote office but I'm waiting to tell my boss in person when she comes out here in 2 weeks (I'll be 13 weeks then). I've already started telling friends and extended family after a good appointment yesterday.

My only "rule" is I tell my boss first before announcing to any friends or coworkers at work.

Roxell · April 2016

I lost about 20lbs before I started TTC. I'm hoping everyone will assume I'm just gaining back the weight I lost, that way I can keep it a secret longer. I'd like to wait until around 18-20 weeks.

Kittens22 · April 2016

I just started a new job on Tuesday, and I'm 12 weeks. I really like it and the company, but want to prove myself there before they label me as anything (unintentionally) or hold me back at all since I'll be on mat leave over Christmas. It might not even be that way of o did, but I'm a FTM and very career oriented so probably just a little paranoid I guess.
I am planning to tell around when I start showing, probably 20 weeks?
We haven't even told or families yet tho, so I don't think it's weird that I haven't told my job.

hellopartyof5 · April 2016

I told at 7 weeks so they didn't think I just suddenly became an alcoholic or something with how strange I was acting. I'm really close with my boss though, we share things pretty often (it's only the 2 of us in our dept)

tatertat313 · April 2016

I plan on telling my boss after my NT scan on Monday, I will be 13 weeks...I told my boss the same time last time too. I work a desk job though so there was no safety reason why I needed to say anything sooner

talkthewholetime · April 2016

I told my boss around 8 weeks, and everyone else on Tuesday at 12+1 after my nuchal. Depending where you work and what kind of coverage they'll need for your maternity leave might dictate how soon you have to tell. It's hard-ish to find a qualified replacement for me, so I want to give a jump on finding someone and put my "official" letter in within the next few weeks. (Especially since I'll clean the mess when I get back if the person sucks!) Plus I work in education, so it all has to take a tour of the Board of Education meetings and that all takes a while.

ficbot · April 2016

I'm sure we had a thread about this already, but I told my boss right away because I work in a school and there are illnesses they have to notify about if someone has them (e.g. Fifth disease)

BmcD2016 · April 2016

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My husband wanted to announce to Facebook when I haven't even told my boss yet! And he couldn't understand why I need to tell my boss first.

Anyway, I'm planning to soon, and I'm 9 weeks. I've been missing a bit of work between pregnancy and my IBS flares (which they don't know about that). So as soon as there is some down time, I'll pull my boss aside and tell him.

I have to admit, it's pretty awkward. I work in a mostly male environment and my boss is male as well. I'm not sure how to start that conversation....

Knottie1458416769 · April 2016

I told my boss and one admin at week 5 because the clinic gave me a slip for not traveling for work and anyone with Internet would have figured it out. Don't feel a need to officially announce to anyone else, I'll tell HR when I get closer to maternity leave

ShallowSeas · April 2016

I haven't told yet and I have no idea when I will tell. I plan on waiting as long as possible...until I can no longer hide it.

NatashaSprout · April 2016

I'm telling them at 19 weeks. We have a different system. I call my chief and tell her I am laying up. Then I just don't come back on until February. We are paid our full salary up to a year off for any illness, medical problem or pregnancy. Until then I'm not telling anyone because then I need a doctors note to continue working.

m6agua · April 2016

I told my direct supervisor around 4.5 weeks because I was on the phone/leaving early for appointments. Had 3 blood draws and two u/s early on. It was great. He is all about work life balance and said I could leave early if I wasn't feeling well or whatever. I told HR at 9 weeks, she is in our southern office 3 hours away. She was up at our building last week, I figured it would be easier to tell in person than over the phone/email. Also she knew about my mc in November because they gave me 3 bereavement days. She has also experienced one so is sympathetic. I was going to tell coworkers this week but we didn't get to hear the heartbeat so I am waiting until my next appointment at the end of May, I will be 14 weeks. I think I'm going to bring in watermelon for everyone and send an email about snacks in the break room and maybe something about not eating the seeds or you'll end up like me. We have a small office of about 30 people.

hollowway · April 2016

My work already knows. I'm a resident care aid (PSS) at a long term care facility. Some of my residents have had strokes, are paralyzed, have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's... So there is a lot of lifting involved, particularly for toileting or transferring (bed to wheel chair)... So I told my co-workers around 6 weeks, and just told my supervisors this week. I didn't want anyone to think I was slacking off if I didn't lift a resident, etc.. i still do lift, but its with assitance or good body mechanics. Theres actually three of us pregnant. I'm due in November and the others are due in December (Christmas) and January (New Years-ish, she literally JUST found out). So we'll all be on Maternity Leave together.

ZoeFer · April 2016

I told my immediate supervisor right after I told my parents even before 6 weeks. I work in a biomedical lab and they need to know because of safety. Also, we are very close and she gave me a big hug with a scream when I told her. But I have not told my coworkers yet, I guess I can start telling them next week . I had my NT scan yesterday and I will be 12 weeks next week. I am not sure when I should talk to HR though.

Thewizardofrhythm · April 2016

I told my director this week after I had my NT. I mostly told him now because my office is close and I want to talk about it openly but also because there is another woman ttc and a woman in the adoption process. There's a chance we will all have overlapping maternity leaves and my boss has been freaking out about this lately. there are only 10 lawyers at my agency so three out is a big hit. I wanted him to know now so he could start to think about how to organize things.

stepamos · April 2016

I told my immediate supervisor and a few other people I work closely with because I've missed quite a bit of work due to 24/7 nausea and vomiting. I'll probably tell others soon to fill them in since I'm not feeling any better. People are starting to side eye me.

PurpleBrunette · April 2016

I told my direct supervisor at 4 weeks and my pseudo-manager a week later. When I was 8 weeks, I was offered a promotion to work directly under the COO and I told him in that meeting. I felt like he needed to be aware because a lot of my work will fall back on him while I'm out on maternity leave and we are an online retail business so that will be the busiest point of the year. Luckily, my company is SUPER family-friendly and we are a pretty laid back atmosphere (think fun internet, start-up culture).

I announced on FB at 11.5 weeks and that basically took care of telling the rest of my coworkers.

atcwag · April 2016

I told my boss yesterday. He's going on paternity leave soon(ish) and I wanted him to know well in advance of that, otherwise I would have waited until after my next appt on 5/17. I'll tell my coworkers sometime after that.

AmandaR417 · April 2016

My boss and HR actually knew before my parents (last day to change out benefits was the day BEFORE I got the BFP. I asked if I could change to the better health plan so my max out of pocket would be several thousand less than the plan I'd initially chosen) a coworker figured it out the day of my first appointment becaise she saw my DH pick me up.

I wasn't planning to tell until I started to show, but that didn't work out. HR told the office manager that we needed to figure out where to put a room for pumping in the building (literally every room but the bathroom and storage closets are entirely glass, so this is something that needs some planning)... Problem is, there's only about 20 employees at this location and only 3 are females of child-bearing age. Soon everyone knew that one if us was KTFU... The whole office went out for drinks a couple weeks later and the other two ordered booze. Process of elimination got me. Haha.

Elev429 · April 2016

I think im going to tell my coworkers next week. We have a departmental staff meeting wednesday so I may send out an Out of office from Mid Nov-Mid Feb. See if they figure it out.

forevertired · April 2016

I told my boss and a few coworkers that it directly effects when I'm gone because I've missed a ton of work being sick. Our office gets pretty paranoid about spreading illness so I didn't want them to think I was spreading the flu around. Not sick, just pregnant and miserable lol.

sweetlyuntied · April 2016

Similar to @KilgraveMadeMeDoIt I had to tell the person who sets out schedule and our head triage nurse right away to minimize possible exposures. I let the whole world know around 8 weeks. Most of my coworkers knew anyway because you can only have "tummy trouble" for so long before people start raising eyebrows.

2amgoodbyes · April 2016

I told my boss and one other coworker around 8 weeks so they'd understand my absence for "doctor" appointments and just in case I had some sort of related emergency.

After I get back my genetic testing results and we're in the clear, I'll talk to HR to clarify maternity leave options, then tell my group (6 out of the 25 people at my company). Everyone else will have to learn by word-of-mouth or observation.

kgrisham18 · April 2016

I told my boss this week (12 weeks). I'm surprised she didn't know. Either way, she's super excited for me. I'll start telling co-workers next week assuming my appt goes well.

rooftop · April 2016

Specail snowflake, the day I tell my boss is the day I tell her I'm quitting. Once I start showing I'll no longer be able to do my job.

serenaxo84 · April 2016

I told my bosses around 8 weeks because I had to go in for an early ultrasound and then had my full appointment and "first ultrasound" and knew I would be out of the office for a while.

I am showing now at a little over 12 weeks so it wouldn't be a secret for long!

justnesha · April 2016

I'm in the same boat as you are. I just started my job this week and so happen to work at a OB office so I feel like they will figure it out. But I read that I should wait until I'm 20 weeks but with doctors appointment coming up I don't know how I'm going to hide it until July.

msu_gal · April 2016

Thanks for all the great feedback everyone, I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with this decision. I've spent so many years not allowing myself to "be a girl" in the office environment to get ahead that it's tough to take a step back and not worry about the professional ramifications

SunshineMama · May 2016

My coworkers that I supervise knew pretty much right away...around 6 weeks because I wasn't myself. (Surprise pregnancy that took time to adjust to) my supervisor does not know yet (I'm almost 13 weeks) and I'm in no rush to tell her. I think I'll wait until I'm showing and have no choice.

Roxell · May 2016

SunshineMama said:

My coworkers that I supervise knew pretty much right away...around 6 weeks because I wasn't myself. (Surprise pregnancy that took time to adjust to) my supervisor does not know yet (I'm almost 13 weeks) and I'm in no rush to tell her. I think I'll wait until I'm showing and have no choice.

I would be careful with this. It would a lot more professional the news coming from you instead of someone you supervise. Is there a reason you don't want to tell your supervisor?

SunshineMama · May 2016

They would not tell my supervisor. This I know to be true. I look at it as there are no rules as to when I have to tell my supervisor. I work for a company (I'm a therapist) that promotes health/wellness and self care so there are no regulations for providing such news and I will when I'm comfortable doing so.

jstinkz · May 2016

Last time I told my boss at 22 weeks and from there on out they made my job a living hell. He blamed it on "never dealing with a pregnancy and not really knowing how to." So I'm still pretty bitter. I may just not tell them. Obviously they will eventually find out and I doubt it will be much better second time around.

Roxell · May 2016

@SunshineMama You should definitely do what you are most comfortable with!

chloe97 · May 2016

I told my boss, but haven't told my coworkers yet, though my bump is starting to pop in full-force. I'm hoping to wait until we get the NIPT/First Tri screen results at 12 or 13 weeks before telling them. Now I'm worried that it will be closer to 14-15 weeks before we will (hopefully) find out we are in the clear. I'm considering telling them at 12 weeks. Im pretty sure people know what's going on because they know I had a MC in November and I've been out for many Drs appts!

ANZ116 · May 2016

I told my boss right away. I wanted her to understand why I was calling out sick and if my brain was a little foggy. I have had a pretty rough first trimester and she's worked with me and letting me make up time on weekends so I dont blow through all my PTO/sick time before i even go on leave. I'm glad I told her, she's been super supportive.

seven6five · May 2016

I told management about a week after I found out (but I also found out really late). Otherwise, no one knows besides SO.

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