TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Tom Hiddleston can judge me all he wants, beautiful man.
My UO is that I hate salads. They taste like penance. I eat them because I'm an adult and I have to do things like eat salad, but even with all the fixins I only find them passable, but never enjoyable. I don't understand when people say they're craving them.
The word furbaby annoys me a little. I think it is a really dumb word. There, I said it. I have nothing against having animals and loving them like children. I just don't like the word furbaby. Every time I hear it I roll my eyes just a tiny bit.
Yep, I went with a real unpopular one this time.
Me: 28 year old SAHM/Birth Doula DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
Married: October 8, 2011
DD1: September 24, 2013 BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016 DD2: April 16, 2017 BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
@mrsstuessy I have to agree. I love my kitty more than anything and I treat her like my baby...but I hate the word furbaby too. No real reason why...I just do.
@mrsstuessy I agree with you, the word can come off a little creepy.
My OU, I hate when someone asks why I am not smiling or if I am okay. What am I supposed to do, walk around just smiling for now reason? If I am just sitting alone at work, doing my thing, wouldn't it be creepy if I am just sitting there with a big ol' grin on my face?
Also, there are days where I am just not okay and you asking is not helping and I am definitely not going to spill all my issues on you.
Lastly, resting bitch face is a real thing and apparently I got it!
My UO is I kind of hate this thread. UO is pointless to me. All the things here can be said on FFFC... Thursdays are always the most boring to me on this site...
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
The word furbaby annoys me a little. I think it is a really dumb word. There, I said it. I have nothing against having animals and loving them like children. I just don't like the word furbaby. Every time I hear it I roll my eyes just a tiny bit.
@PepperAT I hate that too. I am generally a happy person but that question makes me feel like I always have to be smiling which is ridiculous. I'm allowed to not have a smile on my face.
Me: 32 DH: 31
Married: July 14, 2007 TTC #1: January 2008 Surprise BFP: November 2009
My UO is sometimes I don't see the point in responding to drive bys. I think instead of jumping on then to tell them what their doing wrong, we should just not say anything at all and let them figure it out on their own. The majority of the time they get defensive anyway. I don't see the point in bombarding them with the same information over and over. If we all figured it out on our own, they can too. And if they don't, then we've just weeded out someone who thinks their speshul .
My UO is sometimes I don't see the point in responding to drive bys. I think instead of jumping on then to tell them what their doing wrong, we should just not say anything at all and let them figure it out on their own. The majority of the time they get defensive anyway. I don't see the point in bombarding them with the same information over and over. If we all figured it out on our own, they can too. And if they don't, then we've just weeded out someone who thinks their speshul .
But then what would I do with all the snarky gifs I've been saving???
Tom Hiddleston can judge me all he wants, beautiful man.
My UO is that I hate salads. They taste like penance. I eat them because I'm an adult and I have to do things like eat salad, but even with all the fixins I only find them passable, but never enjoyable. I don't understand when people say they're craving them.
Yes! What bothers me is that salads are often far from the healthiest option, especially when people load up on dressing. Lettuce has very little nutritional value, just bulk and water.
I'd much rather eat a side or two of veggies with a serving of protein and feel like I'm not punishing myself. Hell, I've even roasted an entire cauliflower (with a T of olive oil) and just eaten that and it still was more fulfilling than a salad.
@housewifehobbyist@TheJerilu Most of the time salad is just "eh" to me. I'll eat it if it's served or comes with a meal I order but I never go out of may way to eat it. With one exception. I make a delicious black bean salad. It has tons of nutritional value, plus it's VERY filling. But I am obsessed with black beans, so any excuse to eat them...
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
I guess my UO is that I don't get the warm and fuzzies about TTC. Like I don't have a secret Pinterest board with baby stuff, I don't have a cutesy way I plan on telling DH if I end up pregnant or any fun ways to let people know on facebook. I find most announcements played out and cheesy. I don't get excited about gender reveal parties. Maybe I am just the scrooge of TTC:(
Me: 34 DH: 36 TTC#2 September 2015 DD #1 born July 2014 Clomid 50 mg x2 months- no ovulation Clomid 100mg x 2 months- confirmed ovulation first month, BFN
@housewifehobbyist@TheJerilu Most of the time salad is just "eh" to me. I'll eat it if it's served or comes with a meal I order but I never go out of may way to eat it. With one exception. I make a delicious black bean salad. It has tons of nutritional value, plus it's VERY filling. But I am obsessed with black beans, so any excuse to eat them...
@KristoB Black beans are my jammmmm. If you're talking a black bean salad where black beans act as the base, I totally agree. I just think the lettuce + misc + croutons type of salad is highly overrated.
I guess my UO is that I don't get the warm and fuzzies about TTC. Like I don't have a secret Pinterest board with baby stuff, I don't have a cutesy way I plan on telling DH if I end up pregnant or any fun ways to let people know on facebook. I find most announcements played out and cheesy. I don't get excited about gender reveal parties. Maybe I am just the scrooge of TTC:(
@HurricaneAmelia Announcements are fine by me (we'll probably do one because we're so far removed geologically from our friends and family, so otherwise they wouldn't know), but gender reveal parties make me roll my eyes so damn hard.
PepperAT right? and of course, it's only ever women who get told to smile, or asked why they're NOT smiling. have you ever heard of anybody asking a man that?? i sure haven't.
TheJerilu i'm with you on the gender reveal parties. they're just so....self involved.
My UO is I kind of hate this thread. UO is pointless to me. All the things here can be said on FFFC... Thursdays are always the most boring to me on this site...
You know that you created this post though....right?
@babymish I know! I laughed at myself. I did it out of obligation... haha. I just think we should replace the Thursday thing. But it still needed to be up for today... ha.
@TheJerilu - My salad still has the lettuce in it, but not much. Mostly I add it for the color and as a bit of a filler. But it's all black bean, for the most part. Black beans, corn, chipotle dressing, tortilla crisps instead of stupid croutons. Yummmmy. I would literally choose it as my last meal.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@sammajane19 Yeah, never thought of that! But that reminded me of a time I was walking down the sidewalk and I had a guy say to me "you would be so much prettier if you were smiling" Oh really!? Thanks jackass! I will keep that in mind for next time I'm walking all alone!
My UO is that I honestly don't think we need TW's or TMI's at all (except in the most extreme cases I guess). In my opinion, if we're coming on a site called "The Bump" then we should expect to see things that might trigger us. :shrugs:
Previously PaukMeKiande
Surprise BFP/MC February 2011 BFP May 16th 2016
EDD January 25 2017 DD born January 30 2017 Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
@PaukMeKiande I agree with you there, if you're coming on a site called the bump to talk about TTC you need to expect to see people mention BFP's, children, other people's pregnancies. The only time I really find them necessary is for mentions of domestic violence or abuse etc, the kinds of things where you're llikely not prepared to stumble on them talking about TTC
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
My UO is that I hate it when people use their social media profiles to try to sell me stuff or push their opinions. I'm just trying to snoop on your life and your vacation photos I don't want to buy your damn weight loss products or read your political rants! I doubt that anyone has ever changed their opinion about a controversial topic just because they saw a well written rant on FB about it...
@mrsstuessy ugh. Furbaby. Gag. @PaukMeKiande I'm with you. When I was on the TTC before DD there was no such thing as TW. I was so confused by what it was when I came back. My UO? I really hate Benedict Cumberbatch. Everyone I talk to is like "OMG HE IS SO SEXY" and I think he's super ugly and creepy.
For those of you who don't like Gender Reveals...my Mom has requested one if I do get pregnant this time around. If I just do it with my immediate family members who actually care, is that less obnoxious? So basically not really a party...just like, a cake with coloured icing...nevermind, now I sound boring as heck.
My UO is that I don't trust people who don't like animals. I am not talking about people who are indifferent or "just not pet people", but people who actually dislike all animals freak me out. I think there must be something wrong with them.
Oh one more....I was an bump member in the past when things were different and I actually don't like how there are almost no personal posts anymore *ducks under desk* I liked when people could ask whatever question (within reason - the "am I pregnant" ones were of course obnoxious) even if it meant some repetition.
Obviously my whole TTC journey is a GD trigger warning so I am def bias, but loss is a real and unfortunate thing in pregnancy & trigger warning it out the ass isn't going to keep it from happening to people & I think it just perpetuates the shame & stigma associated with it.
As for BFPs I feel like people need to put on their big kid panties. You don't always get what you want or when you want it in life. That's the reality. I feel like TW BFPs is like everyone getting a medal in sports these days so they don't feel left out or get their feelings hurt.
@mrsstuessy ugh. Furbaby. Gag. @PaukMeKiande I'm with you. When I was on the TTC before DD there was no such thing as TW. I was so confused by what it was when I came back. My UO? I really hate Benedict Cumberbatch. Everyone I talk to is like "OMG HE IS SO SEXY" and I think he's super ugly and creepy.
I don't know you very well @katemama0706, but since you've insulted my future husband (Benedict), I don't know that we have any hope to get along. I love him. LOVE him.
@HopingForOneAgain DH comes from a super huge family so even though I was anti-gender-reveal we did one for just close family. It felt less creepy and gift grabby that way. Just my feelings on it.
@DoctorDonna sorry girl! the good news is we won't have to fight for his affections! He's all yours!
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Oh one more....I was an bump member in the past when things were different and I actually don't like how there are almost no personal posts anymore *ducks under desk* I liked when people could ask whatever question (within reason - the "am I pregnant" ones were of course obnoxious) even if it meant some repetition.
I am prone to agree with that as well. The Bump was very different in 2008-2009 in that you could post individual questions which got repetitious at times but it was cool and expected. The drive bys were never cool and some got really ugly.
Me: 32 DH: 31
Married: July 14, 2007 TTC #1: January 2008 Surprise BFP: November 2009
yeah, we also did a gender reveal with our immediate families. They did truly care and were excited to know so it was fun. I also don't get trigger warnings. But I have never had a loss or been through IF, so I don't feel like I get a say.
Me: 28 year old SAHM/Birth Doula DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
Married: October 8, 2011
DD1: September 24, 2013 BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016 DD2: April 16, 2017 BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
While I agree that we do tend to go overboard with some of the trigger warnings, I actually don't mind them for BFPs. It's nice to be able to avoid if it's a particularly difficult TTC day...I mean, isn't that partially why we created the separate thread for TTGP grads and also why we get pissed off at drive-bys? I don't know that the "everyone getting a medal" analogy is a great way to describe this because no, we're definitely not all getting the medal even with a TW. And if adding a TW to a BFP is all it takes to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who is already having a bad day, I don't know that that is such a bad thing.
And to contradict myself, @MrsBinPAI do agree that with you that adding a TW every time a loss mom posts about that loss could be ostracizing and contribute to the stigma.
Blah, I don't know what I want. TTC is just a trigger warning for me altogether today.
Also, @KristoB, I agree that UO Thursday and FFFC do have a lot of potential for overlap, but I love reading the UOs! I was thinking that I good way to make both two distinct topics is that UO Thursday should be things that people think while FFFC could be reserved for confessions about things people have actually done.
My UO is I kind of hate this thread. UO is pointless to me. All the things here can be said on FFFC... Thursdays are always the most boring to me on this site...
I feel like maybe you haven't seen some of the UO flame battles we've had? Usually UO is pretty polite around here, but we've had some UGLY arguments.
My UO is people who ask others their opinion on their "baby names" I was bored and started lurking on the baby name board! People are so concerned that everything is too trendy, too overused, too this or too that. This is your kid's name! Who cares if people thinks it's too trendy! You're the one that has to call the child by that name for the remainder of a lifetime! If you like it, name your kid that and forget about the rest of the world!
I totally agree with TMIs. We're already talking about sex, our cervical position/texture, CM and peeing on things. If we can have a lengthy discussion on CM I don't really say how we can be horribly offended by the mention of another bodily function or whatever else someone wants to put a TMI on. That being said if someone wants to give me an incredibly graphic description of something icky that isn't related to TTC and therefor unexpected, a TMI warning may be polite. Like the other night DH had a strange poop and decided to tell me about it, in vivd detail, for the next 20 minutes. I was in the middle of dinner. I would have appreciated better timing and maybe a heads up TMI that the conversation was about to get unusually icky.
As far as the TWs: I have incredibly mixed emotions here. There are days when I just feel like I'm never going to have my take-home baby and seeing a BFP causes me to instantly burst into tears. And I'm not going to lie and say that on those days I'm equally willing as always to see a BFP. I definitely avoid threads that I feel have a high probability of containing a BFP because I don't think I can really handle it. However I don't want anyone who is excited to finally have a BFP after struggling TTC to feel they can't share their joy with us. I really hope that I get to see the BFP announcement of every lady here, whether some of them are before me, at the same time as me or after me. But what I can say here is that I don't think a BFP announcement affects me the same way as it does a lady who is struggling with IF. At least I've gotten BFPs. I don't have to wondering if I'll ever even see that second line. So I realize that as painful as they can be for me sometimes, they may not hit me as hard as they do some of the IF ladies. And I think that if adding a TW, that takes a couple of seconds to type, can save someone some pain that maybe it is worth it.
As for loss: I suppose my feelings are a lot the same in terms of how I think that if adding a TW, that takes a couple of seconds to type, can save someone some pain that maybe it is worth it. But as far as my other thoughts go I feel similar to @MrsBinPA in that my entire TTC journey just about is a giant TW. I can discuss it in vague terms that leave out the loss. That I've been trying for January 2015. That I've struggled. That I feel as if I may never get a BFP for a take-home baby. But there is a lot that I'm not saying. There are days when what is really weighing on my mind is something loss related. And I don't want to write up something with a lot of TWs and then just hope it doesn't upset someone else. So more often than not I end up not talking about my losses because I certainly don't want to hurt someone else, or a few different people, in my effort to vent/get some support to make myself feel better. So in a way seeing loss as a giant TW is very isolating to those of us who have been through loss. On the other hand, there are boards specifically for MC and TTCAL where it is expected that a post will contain information on/related to a loss. And often if I really need to talk about a loss I'll go to one of those boards. I've been very guilty of sorta posting and ghosting over on TTCAL and they're probably about ready to vote me off the island. I'll show up on days I need support and post in a weekly thread or contribute my opinion to another post. But I don't really stick around every day or whatever to offer support/advice to everyone else. So, I feel bad for that. I just prefer to spend my time bumping here usually.
I don't know. I don't think there are any easy answers when it comes to TWs. Especially since most of us don't really understand all sides. I can understand the loss side but I can't really, fully understand the IF side. That hasn't been my struggle and I won't claim to understand what those ladies have been through and continue to go through. And I won't say I know what it is like or how it feels. I want this board to be somewhere that everyone feels safe and comfortable. I want it to be somewhere that everyone gets the support they need. I don't want anyone to feel isolated by their struggles because the whole point of us all being here is to get through the struggles of TTC together so that it isn't so isolating. I'm just not sure what the best way to go about all that is in terms of TWs.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Lurking: @NamelessAriaI have to commend you for your very articulate and compassionate answers. I am constantly applauding your posts from the sidelines. I appreciate you! You usually say what I'm thinking in my head. re: TW : I offer them whenever I can. Its not to be obnoxious but considerate for others' feelings. Yes, this is a pregnancy website, but that doesn't mean some awareness and sensitivity for others' experiences needs to be chucked out the window, you know? I have some amazing friends on all sides. As a loss mom myself I tend to be very protective of that community. However, many dear friends of mine have struggled with IF and I also have taken up trying to be as aware/compassionate as possible for them. I've never struggled to get pregnant, but I've been that voice on the other end of the phone when my friends get another BFN or receive THAT news from the RE. I've cried with some IRL, cooked for them, squished them in furry blankets and just been there to feel with them. Its devastating and that's just from the outside looking in. I don't actually know the pain first hand. So I see TW as a way for me to be aware and outspoken for my friends struggling. I know I appreciated them after my losses during my time on message boards many years ago.
Re: UO Thursday
My UO is that I hate salads. They taste like penance. I eat them because I'm an adult and I have to do things like eat salad, but even with all the fixins I only find them passable, but never enjoyable. I don't understand when people say they're craving them.
Yep, I went with a real unpopular one this time.
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
My OU, I hate when someone asks why I am not smiling or if I am okay. What am I supposed to do, walk around just smiling for now reason? If I am just sitting alone at work, doing my thing, wouldn't it be creepy if I am just sitting there with a big ol' grin on my face?
Also, there are days where I am just not okay and you asking is not helping and I am definitely not going to spill all my issues on you.
Lastly, resting bitch face is a real thing and apparently I got it!
10/2/10
Me:29 H: 31
TTC#1: Aug 2015
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5e3072
Thursdays are always the most boring to me on this site...
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #1: January 2008
Surprise BFP: November 2009
CP: September 2016
BFP #1 8/4/2015, MMC 9/24/2015
DD 2/13/2017
BFP #3 8/24/2017, MC 9/20/2017
BFP #4 11/14/2017, CP
BFP #5 1/5/2018, MC/BO 2/17/2018
BFP #6 7/15/2018, CP
BFP #7 12/15/2018, EDD 8/28/2019
I'd much rather eat a side or two of veggies with a serving of protein and feel like I'm not punishing myself. Hell, I've even roasted an entire cauliflower (with a T of olive oil) and just eaten that and it still was more fulfilling than a salad.
Me: 28 & Partner: 32 | Married 2014
BFP 7/29 EDD 4/11
Most of the time salad is just "eh" to me. I'll eat it if it's served or comes with a meal I order but I never go out of may way to eat it. With one exception. I make a delicious black bean salad. It has tons of nutritional value, plus it's VERY filling. But I am obsessed with black beans, so any excuse to eat them...
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
TTC#2 September 2015
DD #1 born July 2014
Clomid 50 mg x2 months- no ovulation
Clomid 100mg x 2 months- confirmed ovulation first month, BFN
Black beans are my jammmmm. If you're talking a black bean salad where black beans act as the base, I totally agree. I just think the lettuce + misc + croutons type of salad is highly overrated.
Me: 28 & Partner: 32 | Married 2014
BFP 7/29 EDD 4/11
Announcements are fine by me (we'll probably do one because we're so far removed geologically from our friends and family, so otherwise they wouldn't know), but gender reveal parties make me roll my eyes so damn hard.
Me: 28 & Partner: 32 | Married 2014
BFP 7/29 EDD 4/11
TheJerilu i'm with you on the gender reveal parties. they're just so....self involved.
TTC Since: Nov. 2015
Dx: PCOS
Clomid + Ovidrel, Round I: BFN
Clomid + Ovidrel, Round II: BFN
Clomid+Ovidrel, Round III: BFP! 7/5/16
You know that you created this post though....right?
TEAM: PINK!!
@TheJerilu - My salad still has the lettuce in it, but not much. Mostly I add it for the color and as a bit of a filler. But it's all black bean, for the most part. Black beans, corn, chipotle dressing, tortilla crisps instead of stupid croutons. Yummmmy. I would literally choose it as my last meal.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
But that reminded me of a time I was walking down the sidewalk and I had a guy say to me "you would be so much prettier if you were smiling" Oh really!? Thanks jackass! I will keep that in mind for next time I'm walking all alone!
10/2/10
Me:29 H: 31
TTC#1: Aug 2015
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5e3072
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
mention BFP's, children, other people's pregnancies. The only time I really find them necessary is for mentions of domestic violence or abuse etc, the kinds of things where you're llikely not prepared to stumble on them talking about TTC
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
@PaukMeKiande I'm with you. When I was on the TTC before DD there was no such thing as TW. I was so confused by what it was when I came back.
My UO? I really hate Benedict Cumberbatch. Everyone I talk to is like "OMG HE IS SO SEXY" and I think he's super ugly and creepy.
My UO is that I don't trust people who don't like animals. I am not talking about people who are indifferent or "just not pet people", but people who actually dislike all animals freak me out. I think there must be something wrong with them.
<br>
<br>
Obviously my whole TTC journey is a GD trigger warning so I am def bias, but loss is a real and unfortunate thing in pregnancy & trigger warning it out the ass isn't going to keep it from happening to people & I think it just perpetuates the shame & stigma associated with it.
As for BFPs I feel like people need to put on their big kid panties. You don't always get what you want or when you want it in life. That's the reality. I feel like TW BFPs is like everyone getting a medal in sports these days so they don't feel left out or get their feelings hurt.
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
@DoctorDonna sorry girl! the good news is we won't have to fight for his affections! He's all yours!
ETA: spelling
Well said. To all of that.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
<br>
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #1: January 2008
Surprise BFP: November 2009
CP: September 2016
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
And to contradict myself, @MrsBinPA I do agree that with you that adding a TW every time a loss mom posts about that loss could be ostracizing and contribute to the stigma.
Blah, I don't know what I want. TTC is just a trigger warning for me altogether today.
~Formerly @dogmomwantinghuman ~
TTC #1 since January 2015
BFP #1: 11/30/15| MC 12/16/15BFP # 2: 6/2/16 | EDD 2/16/17
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #1: January 2008
Surprise BFP: November 2009
CP: September 2016
I totally agree with TMIs. We're already talking about sex, our cervical position/texture, CM and peeing on things. If we can have a lengthy discussion on CM I don't really say how we can be horribly offended by the mention of another bodily function or whatever else someone wants to put a TMI on. That being said if someone wants to give me an incredibly graphic description of something icky that isn't related to TTC and therefor unexpected, a TMI warning may be polite. Like the other night DH had a strange poop and decided to tell me about it, in vivd detail, for the next 20 minutes. I was in the middle of dinner. I would have appreciated better timing and maybe a heads up TMI that the conversation was about to get unusually icky.
As far as the TWs: I have incredibly mixed emotions here. There are days when I just feel like I'm never going to have my take-home baby and seeing a BFP causes me to instantly burst into tears. And I'm not going to lie and say that on those days I'm equally willing as always to see a BFP. I definitely avoid threads that I feel have a high probability of containing a BFP because I don't think I can really handle it. However I don't want anyone who is excited to finally have a BFP after struggling TTC to feel they can't share their joy with us. I really hope that I get to see the BFP announcement of every lady here, whether some of them are before me, at the same time as me or after me. But what I can say here is that I don't think a BFP announcement affects me the same way as it does a lady who is struggling with IF. At least I've gotten BFPs. I don't have to wondering if I'll ever even see that second line. So I realize that as painful as they can be for me sometimes, they may not hit me as hard as they do some of the IF ladies. And I think that if adding a TW, that takes a couple of seconds to type, can save someone some pain that maybe it is worth it.
As for loss: I suppose my feelings are a lot the same in terms of how I think that if adding a TW, that takes a couple of seconds to type, can save someone some pain that maybe it is worth it. But as far as my other thoughts go I feel similar to @MrsBinPA in that my entire TTC journey just about is a giant TW. I can discuss it in vague terms that leave out the loss. That I've been trying for January 2015. That I've struggled. That I feel as if I may never get a BFP for a take-home baby. But there is a lot that I'm not saying. There are days when what is really weighing on my mind is something loss related. And I don't want to write up something with a lot of TWs and then just hope it doesn't upset someone else. So more often than not I end up not talking about my losses because I certainly don't want to hurt someone else, or a few different people, in my effort to vent/get some support to make myself feel better. So in a way seeing loss as a giant TW is very isolating to those of us who have been through loss. On the other hand, there are boards specifically for MC and TTCAL where it is expected that a post will contain information on/related to a loss. And often if I really need to talk about a loss I'll go to one of those boards. I've been very guilty of sorta posting and ghosting over on TTCAL and they're probably about ready to vote me off the island. I'll show up on days I need support and post in a weekly thread or contribute my opinion to another post. But I don't really stick around every day or whatever to offer support/advice to everyone else. So, I feel bad for that. I just prefer to spend my time bumping here usually.
I don't know. I don't think there are any easy answers when it comes to TWs. Especially since most of us don't really understand all sides. I can understand the loss side but I can't really, fully understand the IF side. That hasn't been my struggle and I won't claim to understand what those ladies have been through and continue to go through. And I won't say I know what it is like or how it feels. I want this board to be somewhere that everyone feels safe and comfortable. I want it to be somewhere that everyone gets the support they need. I don't want anyone to feel isolated by their struggles because the whole point of us all being here is to get through the struggles of TTC together so that it isn't so isolating. I'm just not sure what the best way to go about all that is in terms of TWs.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Lurking: @NamelessAria I have to commend you for your very articulate and compassionate answers. I am constantly applauding your posts from the sidelines. I appreciate you! You usually say what I'm thinking in my head. re: TW : I offer them whenever I can. Its not to be obnoxious but considerate for others' feelings. Yes, this is a pregnancy website, but that doesn't mean some awareness and sensitivity for others' experiences needs to be chucked out the window, you know? I have some amazing friends on all sides. As a loss mom myself I tend to be very protective of that community. However, many dear friends of mine have struggled with IF and I also have taken up trying to be as aware/compassionate as possible for them. I've never struggled to get pregnant, but I've been that voice on the other end of the phone when my friends get another BFN or receive THAT news from the RE. I've cried with some IRL, cooked for them, squished them in furry blankets and just been there to feel with them. Its devastating and that's just from the outside looking in. I don't actually know the pain first hand. So I see TW as a way for me to be aware and outspoken for my friends struggling. I know I appreciated them after my losses during my time on message boards many years ago.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards: