Anyone Doing a Home Birth?

dmontgo · April 2016

Hi everyone!

This is my first baby, and I'm only 5 weeks toda, so I know it's early, but I'm really interested in having a home birth. I love how (in the births I've seen) it's a calm, supportive environment, and there doesn't seem to be as much fear.

I'm having my first appointment today with my regular OBGYN but I'm really thinking about going with a midwife since my regular OBGYN doesn't do home births. The one lady I'm considering would be $4,000 out of pocket, but that covers everything. Has anyone ever had a home birth? What was your experience? Anything I need to keep in mind? Thank you! :]

slartybartfast · April 2016

Not me but my neighbor/friend just did her second last week. It went great

She did have to stop into the hospital during labor because a concern came up but it all checked out and she headed back home. I guess one thing to keep in mind there is that she had to go to a hospital twice as far because not all hospitals are receptive to homebirths (so I think if you need to get something checked out like she did, they'd rather just admit you regardless of whether or not it turns out to be an issue rather than sending you back home)
She also had a doula who was very experienced and she trusted a lot

dmontgo · April 2016

slartybartfast said:

Not me but my neighbor/friend just did her second last week. It went great She did have to stop into the hospital during labor because a concern came up but it all checked out and she headed back home. I guess one thing to keep in mind there is that she had to go to a hospital twice as far because not all hospitals are receptive to homebirths (so I think if you need to get something checked out like she did, they'd rather just admit you regardless of whether or not it turns out to be an issue rather than sending you back home)
She also had a doula who was very experienced and she trusted a lot

I didn't even think about that; great suggestions! I live right down the street from our local hospital, but I'll be sure to check out their policies on home birth. It's the only hospital in the immediate area so I hope they are accommodating. Thank you!

ava826 · April 2016

Two of my cousins have had home births. The first had to be transported to the hospital for an emergency c-section, but it all went okay in the end. "Baby" is 9 now, and both she and her Mom were fine after. My other cousin, who's baby is 1 now, had her at home and it went well. The secret for both was that they could get to the hospital in 5 minutes if needed. Key when it was needed, key for mental comfort even when it wasn't, since of course she knew the story of the first one.

I plan to use the same midwife practice as my second home birth cousin, but at the hospital, which they also do. I'll be 38 and I have hypertension, so I'll def. want to be in the hospital. I doubt I'd even be approved for a home birth; if they don't think it's safe they won't let you do it. But in my area at least you can sort of get some of both and have a midwife-attended delivery but be right down the hall from an OR if it's needed.

dmontgo · April 2016

ava826 said:

Two of my cousins have had home births. The first had to be transported to the hospital for an emergency c-section, but it all went okay in the end. "Baby" is 9 now, and both she and her Mom were fine after. My other cousin, who's baby is 1 now, had her at home and it went well. The secret for both was that they could get to the hospital in 5 minutes if needed. Key when it was needed, key for mental comfort even when it wasn't, since of course she knew the story of the first one.

I plan to use the same midwife practice as my second home birth cousin, but at the hospital, which they also do. I'll be 38 and I have hypertension, so I'll def. want to be in the hospital. I doubt I'd even be approved for a home birth; if they don't think it's safe they won't let you do it. But in my area at least you can sort of get some of both and have a midwife-attended delivery but be right down the hall from an OR if it's needed.

Thank you for sharing! I am fortunate that I live 5 minutes from our hospital in case of emergencies if we do go with home birth. I have endometriosis so I don't know yet if that would disqualify me from having a home birth or even if there are any complications associated with it during pregnancy. I think you brought up a great compromise, though: have a midwife at the hospital! Perhaps that would be a good place to start. Thank you again!

DiFazette · April 2016

No. It's totally cool to research your options and have your 'best case scenario' birth plan. It's is always my strong recommendation that you keep things fluid and not get too caught up in an ideal birth plan. We are so early in pregnancy that things will change for many of us - we will (collectively as a group) suffer from GD, pre-eclampsia, breech babies, placenta previa, failed labor progressions... So much is not within our control that I get sad when people focus too much on their dream birth, rather than accepting the hand they were dealt. I may be a pessimist on this due to how things went with DS, but I caution becoming too committed to anything.

Absolutely know your options and discuss them with your provider of choice (OB, midwife, etc) but don't let yourself be disappointed if that plan changes for health and safety reasons.

princesslockness · April 2016

I'm with @DiFazette, I ended up with a very different birth than I had wanted. Luckily I was pretty go-with-the-flow, so I'm not bitter.

I ended up having an emergency C section and H wasn't there, as we couldn't get ahold of him at work. Up until that point (when I had protein in my urine @39 weeks) I was a text book pregnancy.

Things can change so quickly and drastically that if you have any set in stone ideas it can cause some serious mental issues.

dmontgo · April 2016

DiFazette said:

No. It's totally cool to research your options and have your 'best case scenario' birth plan. It's is always my strong recommendation that you keep things fluid and not get too caught up in an ideal birth plan. We are so early in pregnancy that things will change for many of us - we will (collectively as a group) suffer from GD, pre-eclampsia, breech babies, placenta previa, failed labor progressions... So much is not within our control that I get sad when people focus too much on their dream birth, rather than accepting the hand they were dealt. I may be a pessimist on this due to how things went with DS, but I caution becoming too committed to anything.

Absolutely know your options and discuss them with your provider of choice (OB, midwife, etc) but don't let yourself be disappointed if that plan changes for health and safety reasons.

You are absolutely right! I'm trying to be realistic, and I'm usually very flexible. I like the saying "Make your birth Plan and throw it out the window," because like you said, anything can happen!

dmontgo · April 2016

Kate08Young said:

I'm with @DiFazette, I ended up with a very different birth than I had wanted. Luckily I was pretty go-with-the-flow, so I'm not bitter.

I ended up having an emergency C section and H wasn't there, as we couldn't get ahold of him at work. Up until that point (when I had protein in my urine @39 weeks) I was a text book pregnancy.

Things can change so quickly and drastically that if you have any set in stone ideas it can cause some serious mental issues.

Fortunately I'm not that controlling g that it would cause mental issues, but you are right that staying flexible is key! Keeping in mind that I'd like a home birth, but open to changes as they come. Thank you!

PrettyPalomino · April 2016

As amazing as a home birth is, I'm fairly certain my body isn't designed for labor (short/stocky with shoulders wider than hips, high cervix, etc.) my mother had emerg C-sections, my sister had an emerg C-section, my aunts on both sides had C-sections... I just don't think a natural birth is in the cards for me.

For myself, I am going to try to opt for the happy medium, try to labor as long as I can on my own at home (or in hospital) so that they don't pump me with petocin on top of epidural on top of petocin on top of epidural, putting the baby in distress.

I think it's a good point raised by PP's, if you're near a hospital, that's great. You'll have to evaluate your genetic risks and then also take into consideration random risks and determine if it feels right.

PS Good for you for not subscribing to the fear

dmontgo · April 2016

PrettyPalomino said:

As amazing as a home birth is, I'm fairly certain my body isn't designed for labor (short/stocky with shoulders wider than hips, high cervix, etc.) my mother had emerg C-sections, my sister had an emerg C-section, my aunts on both sides had C-sections... I just don't think a natural birth is in the cards for me.
For myself, I am going to try to opt for the happy medium, try to labor as long as I can on my own at home (or in hospital) so that they don't pump me with petocin on top of epidural on top of petocin on top of epidural, putting the baby in distress.
I think it's a good point raised by PP's, if you're near a hospital, that's great. You'll have to evaluate your genetic risks and then also take into consideration random risks and determine if it feels right.
PS Good for you for not subscribing to the fear

Thank you so much! I'm really considering the happy medium because it's more security but still with the support I would like. What you described about the petocin is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. I would like baby to come when he or she is ready (assuming everything is normal.) I have a friend who is a nurse and she recommended laboring at home like you said, and I think that's a great suggestion. Thank you again for your suggestions and support!

SA0012 · April 2016

I'm going to chime in with a slightly different opinion on the birth plan thing. We had a VERY, VERY, VERY detailed, demanding and thorough birth plan with DS1. It was a hospital birth so we were aware that we probably wouldn't get it all. But instead of leaving it all to chance we educated ourselves as much as possible (Bradley classes, & research up the wazoo). We learned that there's a LOT we can do before and during labor to greatly affect those chances.

We researched hospitals and interviewed a LOT of midwives. We ended up switching at 26 weeks to a place whose priorities and beliefs aligned with our own. It was an hour drive from us but so worth it. We took charge of a lot of things.

There are many different reasons WHY you might not get what you want on your birth plan. We learned as much as we could about them and decided the only way we were OK with giving anything up was by asking in the moment, "Is Mom OK? Is baby OK?" and if the answers were yes, we declined everything and stuck to our plan. It's AMAZING how much they will try to push on you while those answers are still yes. We ended up getting EVERYTHING which is pretty freaking unbelievable.

Now, I whole heartedly agree with everyone that said, should a true emergency arise, and you don't get exactly what you want - of COURSE it's best to accept your circumstances and be very grateful for the medical interventions that were available to save you and your baby. There truly is a lot of grieving of birthing experiences which is unfortunate (yet, understandable).

I just also think that we give up a lot of power to the medical professionals who we blindly think will do whatever is best for us and our babies. The problem is, that you just might end up with a different opinion of exactly what "best" means.

ETA: Sorry for the off topic novel!

I forgot to even give my response on the original subject! lol
We are going to try for our first home birth after one hospital birth. I am very excited and can't imagine we would be comfortable doing it without our amazing midwife who I (obviously) trust with my life. She was our doula for the first birth and was AMAZING. She is known to provide much more thorough and involved care than most experience through a hospital. I'm excited to learn more about it from her at our first appointment!

ve304856 · April 2016

I have had 2 hospital births and I plan on doing the same with this baby. But I know of lots of women who have used a birth center rather than a hospital. It is a good medium between hospital and home. I believe it feels "home-like" you have your baby (possibly a water birth if that is something you want) then go home about 4 hours later.

dmontgo · April 2016

@SA0012 Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! Very encouraging to read because you read my mind on a lot of things I've been researching. I don't have the best experience with doctors due to an injury that caused me extraordinary pain for 3 years simply because they didn't care to look into it once their initial diagnoses were ruled out. Lots of drugs and therapies later, a holistic doctor was actually the one who told me what the problem was, and now I'm pretty pain free. I went to the holistic doctor as a last ditch effort, and I wish I had gone sooner.

So, potentially taking that experience of helplessness, anxiety, and anger into childbirth is something that I would really like to avoid. I don't want to be rushed, or ignored, or bullied into things that I don't want. I don't want the environment to be stressful, but calming and supportive. I think a lot of our medical care is simply a business, and I would prefer to not be treated like that anymore. It's something that sits on my heart and I hope we can make it possible.

Sorry for such the long post but again I really appreciate your experiences!

PensiveCrayon · April 2016

Chiming in here--I'm in the same boat as you, @dmontgo. First baby, five weeks tomorrow. But yes, I'm certainly going to try to have a home birth, provided I keep healthy, etc. I was actually born at home myself, and my mother is a very experienced midwife now, so this is like, what she's been waiting for all her life. (And it's not just her--I've been fully indoctrinated into the cult of the midwife just from living with her

)

Have you watched The Business of Being Born? It's a great documentary, and there's a followup mini-series covering different topics (like VBAC, etc) as well.

dmontgo · April 2016

@PensiveCrayon What an awesome story!! That's so cool that your mom is a midwife and had such a great birthing experience with you!

I watched The Business of Being Born and I'm actually on the third episode of the mini-series. I have learned a lot, and it's comforting to know that birth doesn't have to be traumatic and scary. Been taking a lot of notes! I have so much more to learn, but each day I'm feeling more confident in my decision. DH is also very supportive and that has been wonderful.

dmontgo · April 2016

@ve304856 I agree that a birthing center is a happy medium, but unfortunately the closest home birth center is 3 hours away and not practical. To my knowledge there's only one in the state, which is a shame.

SchruteBucks · April 2016

I'm still undecided between using the free standing birth center I used with my last baby or having a homebirth.

emisi · April 2016

No, I had a birthing center (really, a wing attached to a hospital) birth with my first, and plan to do the same with this one. I don't honestly remember any sort of fear or trauma attached to my birth, other than the obvious fears you have going in that something might go wrong, not to mention the overwhelming amount of pain I was in from having precipitous labor (5 1/2 hours from start to finish!). I also want an epidural again this time, because man that hurt.

OliveP27 · April 2016

Yep. Loved my home birth. Definitely planning on that for this baby too. Best birth out of all of mine for sure and infinitely better recovery!

dmontgo · April 2016

@emisi Thank you for sharing your experience! Despite the pain I'm glad it was the birth experience you wanted!

@olivep27 Recovery is also another benefit I'm interested in. I was blown away by how few episiotomies are used in home births because there's no rush. I don't want one if I can avoid it. Thank you for sharing your experience!

aarabowl · April 2016

I'm considering home birth because I just don't like how medicalized pregnancy has become in the US. DH is a European, and home births with a midwife are the norm in many European countries. But for some reason it still feels like a radical choice to make in the US. I'm not sure if my insurance company will pay for it or if I'll get an earful from friends or family who think I'm making an unsafe choice. It's nice to see all the other moms who have done it or are considering it.

OliveP27 · April 2016

dmontgo said:

@emisi Thank you for sharing your experience! Despite the pain I'm glad it was the birth experience you wanted!

@olivep27 Recovery is also another benefit I'm interested in. I was blown away by how few episiotomies are used in home births because there's no rush. I don't want one if I can avoid it. Thank you for sharing your experience!

There was no rush. My previous two births I had 2-3rd degree tears and small babies. My home birth was another small baby but ZERO tears, zero trauma. It was an amazing difference.

dmontgo · April 2016

@aarabowl I feel the same way about the medicalization of birth, and in general about American Medical care. We don't focus on preventative care, and then instead of addressing the issue it's "Here, take this drug." I hate it.

@olivep27 That is so incredibly awesome! Very inspirational!!

mamatopequenito · April 2016

I'm in Canada and planning a midwife water birth at a Birth Centre. I had an intervention filled hospital birth with my first, so I'm hoping for a healing birth experience this time. At the birth centre I'll also be close enough to the hospital should a complication arise with my hernia, so I feel safer than delivering at home.

aframe77 · April 2016

I love the idea of an at home birth, however I had an extremely long and difficult labor with my first delivery,(Three days of solid contractions including 22 hours after the doctor broke my water and gave me Patocin) so for me I am glad my first was in a hospital.

On the other hand I was heavily pressured by the doctor to have a c-section. Thankfully I had an amazing nurse who advocated for me and helped me convince the doctor to let me try a vaginal birth. I think it's good idea to have a midwife or someone else with birthing experience with you if you choose a hospital birth. By the time the doctor showed up my husband was so mentally and physically exhausted he would have agreed to anything the doctor suggested.

I'm sure that an experienced midwife will know when is the right time to go to the hospital if necessary. I think you're brave to do it on your first pregnancy, but I also understand the mistrust of modern medical care and hospital protocol. I think if you're not too far away from the hospital, and you have a trusted midwife with you, an at-home birth it will likely be a more peaceful, positive experience. Best wishes with whatever you decide!

dmontgo · April 2016

@mamatopequenito I really wish we had birthing centers around where I live. I do think that's a wonderful happy medium and would take advantage if I could. I hope you have a great birth experience this time!

@aframe77 Thank you for sharing your experience! If we decide that maybe a hospital birth may be the wiser choice, I definitely want to have a midwife, or at the very least a doula, to be an advocate for me when DH and I are exhausted. I'm sorry you were being pressured into a C-section and so glad you had an advocate! I'm hoping to meet with a midwife this week and get closer to narrowing it down. Thanks again!

mamatopequenito · April 2016

Doulas are such an invaluable part of birth imo.

I whole heartedly believe I would not have survived my first birth without mine. Despite how "prepared" my husband felt he was. I wish everyone birthing had access to one!

Want a personalized experience?

Anyone Doing a Home Birth?

Re: Anyone Doing a Home Birth?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards