I work for a garden center/greenhouse/gift shop that is open year round. Spring is our absolute busiest time of the year. It's nonstop from open until close. It's family run. My boss and her husband are part owners with her brother and his wife. My boss' husband is rough around the edges to begin with but in the spring he is absolutely awful. Barking at people, snapping left and right. The older he gets the more forgetful he gets and it gets taken out on us. I've gotten to the point where I will just give him the stink eye, and he won't try it with me. But I hate how he talks to the seasonal workers. Also the older he gets, the less he can handle the rush, so he's running around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to do everything while we're all trying to shield him from it. Also, it's Monday. I'm just waiting for July to hit. That's when we slow down a bit and I can go back to working only Tuesday-Friday!
I'm an idiot and ate nothing but carbs for breakfast. I know better than to do this. Epic heartburn as per usual. Cinnamon chip muffin you were just toooo tempting to resist.
It's Monday, I'm tired, and we have family coming into town this weekend which is stressing me out because the house is currently a disaster. Also, it's cloudy and gloomy where I am today.
About me: TTC#1: October 2015 dx: PCOS & MFI IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP July 2016: Blighted Ovum IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN FET February 2017 ~BFN IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17 Team Blue X 2!
I snoozed and missed my workout this morning and was going to put it off until tonight but forget we have plans for the Hawks game so won't be working out and I feel gross and I have a beach vacay in 3 weeks and would like to look somewhat decent in a bikini and waiting for CD1 to just come already. Overall I'm tired and just want to put my head down and sleep. BLAH MONDAYS
**TW** SO long, sorry. This is probably more of a TW, but I'm gonna B*h about it, so it works. The last several months I have worked in the nursery at church at the earliest service. I've worked nursery since I was in high school, but when I moved to this church I hadn't really gotten involved. So I finally started up again and have loved every agonizing moment of lovin' on those babies. Well it's a pretty bug church so there are actually four of us in the nursery. We were chatting as we started the diaper routine and I was rocking one of the fussier babies. One of them mentioned how I was always so good with that particular baby (She has a very extensive medical history and is always crying). She said that I would make a good mommy. I've gotten pretty good at not totally breaking down when someone says that, so I just said thanks and tried to move on. But of course everyone started talking about their own babies and they asked about me. Well, I am a pretty open person so I just told them the truth. We've been tryin for almost 2 years, have had 3 losses, but we are exploring our options of medical assistance and adoption at this time. They were all pretty sweet about it. now Fast forward to later in the afternoon.Before I left church, the lady in charge of organizing all the kids' services asked me to her office. Apparently one of the girls told her she didn't think I should be working in the nursery since I was doing it for selfish reasons since I can't have a baby, and I am a "risk.". Like... WTF? I don't know which one said that but I was really upset. Anyway, the director was cool with me after I explained everything, but seriously? That's so messed up.
tl;dr Apparently if you suffer from infertility/losses, you can't ever work with children because you're a "risk."
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
My MBF is that I spent the weekend scrubbing two bathrooms to perfection, cleaning the kitchen top to bottom, weeding the gardens, cleaning the floors (I HATE cleaning floors), doing three loads of laundry and ironing... and H complains/teases me Sunday night that the "nursery" is still full of stuff from when we moved to the house in September. Sorry I have no free time to clean it, and no reason to get a rush on it.
@clover28 Happy Birthday! I hope that the sun peaks out for you a little today.
I ate my feelings all weekend and now I feel like a bloated sea lion. I need to get back into the game.
Also, H and I got in a small argument last night about TTC. I tried telling him how I was feeling and how I maybe want to take a little break and just focus on my career more and not think about babies so much. I swear he did not hear a word I said and took everything so personal. He acted like I told him I never want to have kids with him. I get it is hard on both of us, but common man! The more I thought about it, I don't really want to take a break, I am just super emotional, but he would not let it go.
@MommyForTheFirstTime that is so horrible. I can't believe that someone would go behind your back and say something like that! What does she mean by "risk" that you're going to steal someone's baby and then what? Show up with it at church and pretend that it's your own?! It's really sad to me that someone could be so cruel and uncaring. You opened up to her and that's what she decided the take away was?! I'm sorry you had to experience that.
@MooFish2364 - I was really hurt by what she did. I got the vibe too that she though I was going to steal a baby. Um, no? I was already irritated because after I opened up one of the girls started complaining about how she can't have kids because she has slightly irregular periods... but she has never tried to have kids, and she's never been told by a doctor that she can't. I got the vibe she wanted attention... sorry, IF/loss isn't something you go through for attention. Sheesh. And then the whole "risk" thing happened. What is wrong with these people? I am so upset by it.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@MommyForTheFirstTime WTF?? That is the most insane and insanely insensitive thing I have heard in a long while. Struggling with infertility does not equal snatching babies in any logic. How rude.
@PepperAT I understand where you're coming from on both levels. My H has an issue with "listening to respond instead of listening to understand". And I'm trying to take a step back from being so obsessively focused on TTC because it's been a rough road and it's making me a mess. Not taking a break from actually TTC, just making sure getting pregnant isn't my sole source of happiness. Sometimes trying to have a baby is hard, and you're allowed to be frustrated.
@MommyForTheFirstTime that made my stomach turn. As a fellow RPL X3 I am horribly offended for you. HORRIBLY. If anyone did that to me I would have a very hard time keeping my cool.
@MommyForTheFirstTime That is one of the most fucked up things I've ever heard. I am so, so sorry that you were treated so horribly. I hope you call her out.
@HousewifeHobbyist I love the "listening to respond instead of listening to understand" concept. My husband is an actual saint who listens to every insane thought that comes out of my head, but I think that's a concept that I could really use with my students. And my mother.
@housewifehobbyist & @Zoey1019 & @MonaLisaRalphio &@MrsBinPA - thanks for your support, guys. It's definitely made me rethink being as open as I am. Here I am, trying to open a dialogue about the hardships people like us face, since no one talks about it, and this is what I get slapped with. I guess it just goes to show how much more people need to be educated. Sorry, MrsBinPA, for your losses. I see one was very recent- I hate that. I also hate that we can empathize with each other. I truly wish you hadn't been through the same. ETA Zoey & MonaLisa.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@MommyForTheFirstTime OMG! I cannot believe that she would do/say that. That is beyond insane and you have every right to be upset. How unsettling. I am completely offended and upset for you. I don't know what I would do if something like that happened to me. I am glad to hear the director was understanding, but that other girl needs to GTFO.
@housewifehobbyist Thanks and yes! That quote perfectly sums up my H. He just doesn't understand. He later told me it is hard for him too and that made me feel bad, but he still doesn't hear what I am saying. Also, A+ for doing all that cleaning! I need to get on that too. Maybe your H can work on that extra room, if it is bugging him so much.
question for you ladies....if I quote something with a picture (of a dreaded pee stick), is that a do or don't. I know we like to quote things so that others can see what is frowned upon, but the pee stick is still in my quote....
TTC #1 - December 2015 Me:31 H:31 DX: MFI - 1% Morph 12/16 -IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol w/ Lupron trigger ER - 11 retrieved- 9 mature - 7 fertilized - 3 sent for PGS on day 5 - No normals (1 XXX Embryo - may use in future) 3/17 - IVF #2 - Antagonist Protocol w/ HCG trigger ER- 13 retrieved - 11 mature - 8 fertilized - 2 sent for PGS on day 5 -2 Normal FET #1 - 5/16/17 - BFP! - Beta #1 5/25 - 156 - Beta #2 5/30 - 2562 - Beta #3 6/1 - 5191!
@MommyForTheFirstTime , I am at a loss for words. What a completely ridiculous thing to say. I am sorry:(
Me: 34 DH: 36 TTC#2 September 2015 DD #1 born July 2014 Clomid 50 mg x2 months- no ovulation Clomid 100mg x 2 months- confirmed ovulation first month, BFN
@MommyForTheFirstTime yes I'm still in the midst of it but just needed to return back here and continue to give & receive support as it really helps me to cope. The empathy of others like you are a big part of that.
@MommyForTheFirstTime what an awful thing to say to someone. You were being honest with people and there is nothing wrong with that. That just set me on fire. I'm so angry for you.
Me: 32 DH: 31
Married: July 14, 2007 TTC #1: January 2008 Surprise BFP: November 2009
@MrsBinPA I'm so sorry for your loss. I just had my second earlier this month and I can't imagine what you're going through. Feel free to PM me if you need additional support!
My MBF is this... I have always had very mild periods. My PMS symptoms are usually worse than my actual period symptoms... but today, I am in agony with the cramping... I have no idea why.. I also feel very sick which, is also not the norm... WTH body?! Making this cycle count? Thanks.
Me: 33 DH: 36 Together since 2007 Happily Ever After 4.30.2015 ~~One Beautiful Daughter~~ Born: 11.6.2017 Trying for #2!!
@MommyForTheFirstTime - What. The. Hell? What is wrong with people?! I am so sorry that you had to go through that, not just the twat who decided you were a "risk," but also for your losses. I hate how mean and heartless women can be to one another! Hugs to you!
@MrsBinPA- I am so sorry for your loss! Oh, that makes me so sad!
Guys. You have no idea. I was telling my work friends about it this morning because they all know everything about my losses and all that (kinda hard to hide when the m/c starts at work...), but anyway there is a relatively new girl that was with the group of us as I was talking about it and I think this is the first she heard of my "issues." Anyway, she was one of "those people" and kept saying things like, "well maybe you should relax a little" and "oh, you're only 25, you have time." So, as we are breaking up to go and actually do our job, she said "well maybe this is God's way of saying you'd make a bad mom, so maybe you should just stop trying and listen to Him." Like. Wow. What a flipping great week so far. Edit because Mobile sucks
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Re: Monday Bitchfest
DD 1 10/2012
CP 9/2013
DD 2 6/2014
CP 3/2016
BFP 12/8/2016
I work for a garden center/greenhouse/gift shop that is open year round. Spring is our absolute busiest time of the year. It's nonstop from open until close. It's family run. My boss and her husband are part owners with her brother and his wife. My boss' husband is rough around the edges to begin with but in the spring he is absolutely awful. Barking at people, snapping left and right. The older he gets the more forgetful he gets and it gets taken out on us. I've gotten to the point where I will just give him the stink eye, and he won't try it with me. But I hate how he talks to the seasonal workers. Also the older he gets, the less he can handle the rush, so he's running around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to do everything while we're all trying to shield him from it. Also, it's Monday. I'm just waiting for July to hit. That's when we slow down a bit and I can go back to working only Tuesday-Friday!
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
It's just Monday...counting down to 4pm when I get home. But then I have to go to physical therapy for my ankle which I don't want to do.
This is me...I made a new screen name.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #1: January 2008
Surprise BFP: November 2009
CP: September 2016
TTC Since: Nov. 2015
Dx: PCOS
Clomid + Ovidrel, Round I: BFN
Clomid + Ovidrel, Round II: BFN
Clomid+Ovidrel, Round III: BFP! 7/5/16
Married: July 2015
BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
TTC#1: October 2015
dx: PCOS & MFI
IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
July 2016: Blighted Ovum
IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
FET February 2017 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
Team Blue X 2!
BFP #1 8/4/2015, MMC 9/24/2015
DD 2/13/2017
BFP #3 8/24/2017, MC 9/20/2017
BFP #4 11/14/2017, CP
BFP #5 1/5/2018, MC/BO 2/17/2018
BFP #6 7/15/2018, CP
BFP #7 12/15/2018, EDD 8/28/2019
DH: 36
Together since 2007
Happily Ever After 4.30.2015
~~One Beautiful Daughter~~ Born: 11.6.2017
Trying for #2!!
SO long, sorry.
This is probably more of a TW, but I'm gonna B*h about it, so it works. The last several months I have worked in the nursery at church at the earliest service. I've worked nursery since I was in high school, but when I moved to this church I hadn't really gotten involved. So I finally started up again and have loved every agonizing moment of lovin' on those babies. Well it's a pretty bug church so there are actually four of us in the nursery. We were chatting as we started the diaper routine and I was rocking one of the fussier babies. One of them mentioned how I was always so good with that particular baby (She has a very extensive medical history and is always crying). She said that I would make a good mommy. I've gotten pretty good at not totally breaking down when someone says that, so I just said thanks and tried to move on. But of course everyone started talking about their own babies and they asked about me. Well, I am a pretty open person so I just told them the truth. We've been tryin for almost 2 years, have had 3 losses, but we are exploring our options of medical assistance and adoption at this time. They were all pretty sweet about it. now Fast forward to later in the afternoon.Before I left church, the lady in charge of organizing all the kids' services asked me to her office. Apparently one of the girls told her she didn't think I should be working in the nursery since I was doing it for selfish reasons since I can't have a baby, and I am a "risk.". Like... WTF? I don't know which one said that but I was really upset. Anyway, the director was cool with me after I explained everything, but seriously? That's so messed up.
tl;dr Apparently if you suffer from infertility/losses, you can't ever work with children because you're a "risk."
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
My MBF is that I spent the weekend scrubbing two bathrooms to perfection, cleaning the kitchen top to bottom, weeding the gardens, cleaning the floors (I HATE cleaning floors), doing three loads of laundry and ironing... and H complains/teases me Sunday night that the "nursery" is still full of stuff from when we moved to the house in September. Sorry I have no free time to clean it, and no reason to get a rush on it.
I ate my feelings all weekend and now I feel like a bloated sea lion. I need to get back into the game.
Also, H and I got in a small argument last night about TTC. I tried telling him how I was feeling and how I maybe want to take a little break and just focus on my career more and not think about babies so much. I swear he did not hear a word I said and took everything so personal. He acted like I told him I never want to have kids with him. I get it is hard on both of us, but common man! The more I thought about it, I don't really want to take a break, I am just super emotional, but he would not let it go.
10/2/10
Me:29 H: 31
TTC#1: Aug 2015
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5e3072
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@PepperAT I understand where you're coming from on both levels. My H has an issue with "listening to respond instead of listening to understand". And I'm trying to take a step back from being so obsessively focused on TTC because it's been a rough road and it's making me a mess. Not taking a break from actually TTC, just making sure getting pregnant isn't my sole source of happiness. Sometimes trying to have a baby is hard, and you're allowed to be frustrated.
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
@HousewifeHobbyist I love the "listening to respond instead of listening to understand" concept. My husband is an actual saint who listens to every insane thought that comes out of my head, but I think that's a concept that I could really use with my students. And my mother.
Me:31 H:31
DX: MFI - 1% Morph
12/16 -IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol w/ Lupron trigger
ER - 11 retrieved- 9 mature - 7 fertilized - 3 sent for PGS on day 5 - No normals (1 XXX Embryo - may use in future)
3/17 - IVF #2 - Antagonist Protocol w/ HCG trigger
ER- 13 retrieved - 11 mature - 8 fertilized - 2 sent for PGS on day 5 -2 Normal
FET #1 - 5/16/17 - BFP! - Beta #1 5/25 - 156 - Beta #2 5/30 - 2562 - Beta #3 6/1 - 5191!
Sorry, MrsBinPA, for your losses. I see one was very recent- I hate that. I also hate that we can empathize with each other. I truly wish you hadn't been through the same.
ETA Zoey & MonaLisa.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Ugh. I'm ready for the day to be over already and it's just starting.
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
@housewifehobbyist Thanks and yes! That quote perfectly sums up my H. He just doesn't understand. He later told me it is hard for him too and that made me feel bad, but he still doesn't hear what I am saying.
Also, A+ for doing all that cleaning! I need to get on that too. Maybe your H can work on that extra room, if it is bugging him so much.
10/2/10
Me:29 H: 31
TTC#1: Aug 2015
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5e3072
Me:31 H:31
DX: MFI - 1% Morph
12/16 -IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol w/ Lupron trigger
ER - 11 retrieved- 9 mature - 7 fertilized - 3 sent for PGS on day 5 - No normals (1 XXX Embryo - may use in future)
3/17 - IVF #2 - Antagonist Protocol w/ HCG trigger
ER- 13 retrieved - 11 mature - 8 fertilized - 2 sent for PGS on day 5 -2 Normal
FET #1 - 5/16/17 - BFP! - Beta #1 5/25 - 156 - Beta #2 5/30 - 2562 - Beta #3 6/1 - 5191!
TTC#2 September 2015
DD #1 born July 2014
Clomid 50 mg x2 months- no ovulation
Clomid 100mg x 2 months- confirmed ovulation first month, BFN
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #1: January 2008
Surprise BFP: November 2009
CP: September 2016
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #1: January 2008
Surprise BFP: November 2009
CP: September 2016
DH: 36
Together since 2007
Happily Ever After 4.30.2015
~~One Beautiful Daughter~~ Born: 11.6.2017
Trying for #2!!
DH: 36
Together since 2007
Happily Ever After 4.30.2015
~~One Beautiful Daughter~~ Born: 11.6.2017
Trying for #2!!
BFP #1 8/4/2015, MMC 9/24/2015
DD 2/13/2017
BFP #3 8/24/2017, MC 9/20/2017
BFP #4 11/14/2017, CP
BFP #5 1/5/2018, MC/BO 2/17/2018
BFP #6 7/15/2018, CP
BFP #7 12/15/2018, EDD 8/28/2019
@MrsBinPA- I am so sorry for your loss! Oh, that makes me so sad!
What a shitty Monday. Hugs to all who need them!
I was telling my work friends about it this morning because they all know everything about my losses and all that (kinda hard to hide when the m/c starts at work...), but anyway there is a relatively new girl that was with the group of us as I was talking about it and I think this is the first she heard of my "issues." Anyway, she was one of "those people" and kept saying things like, "well maybe you should relax a little" and "oh, you're only 25, you have time." So, as we are breaking up to go and actually do our job, she said "well maybe this is God's way of saying you'd make a bad mom, so maybe you should just stop trying and listen to Him."
Like. Wow.
What a flipping great week so far.
Edit because Mobile sucks
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019