If you're not making an announcement...

MissAmeliaPond · April 2016

If you're not making a social media announcement, how and when are you telling family and friends? Are you still doing something cute? What about family/friends who don't live close enough to be able to tell in person? Are you waiting for testing (NT scan or NIPT) results to come back before you tell people?

FTM here, and I need help!

TinyAlligator · April 2016

With our first I did a "life event" thing on facebook. Didn't want to do a whole fancy thing.
This time, I've told my parents and H has told his parents (after his gma spilled the beans before we could get a hold of them). So we're going to let the family grapevine spread the word. I have a few friends that I'll message on facebook, or text. Some I've told already, others I'm STILL waiting for our first ultrasound. lol. I kind of want to make it a surprise for others and just be like "boom, baby was born today! surprise!"

MissAmeliaPond · April 2016

@TinyAlligator I'm planning on doing the same thing. I've downloaded the app CineMama and we've been taking weekly bump pics. I'm planning the last pic to be me holding baby. You can turn all of your photos into a movie and add cute music, and that's what I'll be posting to social media as a "birth announcement" once baby comes home healthy. But in the meantime I've only told my parents we're pregnant. We still haven't told DH's family - I can't decide if I want to wait to tell them after our NT scan, or if we should just go ahead and tell them sooner... They live on the other side of the country, so I don't know if there's something cute we can do for them, or if we should just make regular old phone call and say it.

Would an email with a cute announcement be too impersonal?

TinyAlligator · April 2016

MissAmeliaPond said:

@TinyAlligator I'm planning on doing the same thing. I've downloaded the app CineMama and we've been taking weekly bump pics. I'm planning the last pic to be me holding baby. You can turn all of your photos into a movie and add cute music, and that's what I'll be posting to social media as a "birth announcement" once baby comes home healthy. But in the meantime I've only told my parents we're pregnant. We still haven't told DH's family - I can't decide if I want to wait to tell them after our NT scan, or if we should just go ahead and tell them sooner... They live on the other side of the country, so I don't know if there's something cute we can do for them, or if we should just make regular old phone call and say it.

Would an email with a cute announcement be too impersonal? D

Can you call them on Skype or FaceTime? We used skype to tell DH's parents, even though they already knew. lol.

CherryPicked · April 2016

I'm telling everyone I want to know either in person or over the phone, and we let our parents spread the news to extended family. I've been widening the circle as my pregnancy has progressed, and will have told everyone I want to by the beginning of the second trimester. Do what feels right to you.

MrsDho11 · April 2016

Nope, I don't think we'll be doing anything. I mean, I'm sure it will come out at some point on social media, but H doesn't want to make it a big thing at any poin, and I know enough people who have had long struggles IF and loss, so I'm going with it. People we see, I'll mention it to if they don't know and ask, but other than that! I'm also of the opinion that no one else cares as much as we do, so why waste time stressing over some big fancy announcement.

Thewizardofrhythm · April 2016

Were not making an announcement or a social media post etc. I just tell people as I see or talk to them. And word gets around. I like experiencing each persons reaction individually.

chloe97 · April 2016

Pregnancy announcements on Facebook were so painful for me the months after my loss. I just can't see myself doing one knowing full well that I have friends dealing with IF and MCs. Plus, I'm totally superstitious, I will announce my baby when she/he is born.

Im just planning on sending texts and emails to those I don't talk to regularly. I will call family members and close friends.

ETA I will probably just tell close family and work at 13 weeks assuming we get a good NT scan and panorama result. We will tell extended family and friends we don't see after the anatomy scan.

Roxell · April 2016

Everyone I would want to tell from my side of the family knows we were TTC so not much of an announcement for them. I'm thinking we will just invite DH family to MIL's house for dinner and tell them all at once.

And TB is as close to 'social media' as I get so nothing to worry about there.

yosemite2018 · April 2016

My parents and sister know, and SO's mom. We'll tell his dad and siblings on his dad's birthday which is a few days after our next ultrasound. We're telling my aunts and uncles and grandma at brunch for Mother's Day (actually a week after when we can all get together to celebrate) which we thought would be the perfect time. My NT scan is the next day so I told my mom she needs to wait until after that to tell anyone. After that I will tell my friends in person as I see them, and everyone else will find out after the kid is born. I figure if they aren't close enough to find out in person/via a phone call, then they don't really need to know.

NatashaSprout · April 2016

We are known for our pool parties, BBQ's and camp outs....I'm sure once people start seeing me not drinking and in a bikini they will figure it out. The second weekend of June is our 3 day Palooza so I am guessing our friends and family will Know then.

CecilTheBear · April 2016

I don't do Facebook or anything, so I'll just be telling people individually. I've told my immediate family already since I just went to visit them for a week and it was pretty obvious since I was always tired and not drinking. I also told one close friend, who has been very supportive through my pregnancy struggles.

Everyone else, I'll just tell them individually once it becomes physically obvious. I'd like to hold off as long as possible by wearing loose clothes and lots of scarves, but we'll see how long that lasts. I assume I'll need to tell everyone somewhere between 15-20 weeks. I'd like to wait until the 20 week scan to tell coworkers, but not sure I can hide it that long. I'll probably tell my boss a bit before that. Maybe 16 weeks.

GirPipley · April 2016

**TW**

Since we are coming off of two late term losses , we are not sure what we will do. When my pregnancy got complicated with my twins last year, we were very public about it, my blog pretty much exploded to the point strangers sometime recognize me. It was helpful to have the support from friends and family, but we also lost a lot of friends after the twins passed away because people didn't know how to deal with us.

Our next loss was 9 months later and literally no one knew other than our parents and my best friend (and my online friends). We lost that baby at 16 weeks and eneded up announcing her birth and death on Facebook because frankly, we needed people to leave us alone for a few weeks.

For this pregnancy, we will likely be announcing within a few weeks. We had a video for our twins that we lost that is very close to our hearts and friends and family. We plan to use parts of that video and add in new parts to explain what a Rainbow baby is and that we will be brining ours home in November. We will send this through email to or close friends and family. For the rest of the world, my blog, and Facebook, we will wait until after viability (24 weeks) and then post that video.

NordyMN89 · April 2016

We're telling both sets of parents this weekend, assuming all goes well at our NT scan this Thursday. It will be made very clear that it is our news to share and they are not to post anything about it on social media. We're going to do a Memorial Day BBQ at our home with our siblings and at some point pull out a cake to do a sex reveal. Again, making it clear that it's our news to share and not to post on social media. The only one I'm struggling with is my sister, she's deployed in the Middle East right now and I'm not sure how we'll tell her yet. Maybe send her a package with an Auntie something and make her wait to open it until we can Skype.

After struggling with IF and seeing what seemed like daily announcements on FB, H and I decided we wouldn't post about it at all. Of course we're super excited and this is all we've wanted, but as someone else said, we're the most excited and other people are probably like good for them now onto the next post...I also love the idea of boom...we have a baby!

msu_gal · April 2016

Everytime I check these boards I add additional questions to the list of things I haven't figured out yet... I have no idea what we want to do about this. Maybe when we find out the gender I'll feel more like making a public announcement? Our closest friends and family already know.

TwandaFTG · April 2016

I have pretty much told everyone I see regularly in person. I told my grandma I would be skipping our annual black Friday shopping because I was having a baby!

I am a blabber mouth so if we had a loss I feel like I would share that too and so I am telling people but I am also telling them it is way early.

We didn't announce on FB last time until the anatomy scan around 19 weeks. It was Cinco De Mayo so I took a picture of my dog with a mini sombrero and typed that he would be partying with his brother on October 1st!.

This time I am sure once we make it to that scan and everything looks good we will get a picture of my son and our dog being promoted.

MrsDho11 · April 2016

I have to admit, there is a small part of me hoping one of our friends somehow remains clueless and then shows up at something with us and the baby later and is confused.

sweetsasaurus · April 2016

TW

We've told a few people in person, but to be perfectly honest, I've been so sick during this pregnancy that I'm not terribly excited about it anymore. First few weeks I had a kidney stone. Then an irregularly shaped amniotic sac. Then I was hospitalized this weekend for dehydration from hyperemesis gravidarum where I haven't been able to keep anything down for about a week and was so dehydrated I couldn't spell my own name even after several attempts. I had to get fluids through IV and now I'm on meds for nausea that simply put me to sleep. I am a stay at home mom to an active 15 month old boy and I can't even care for him right now. My husband is having to take time off work to help. I'm seriously kicking myself for getting pregnant again. I know that's a horrible thing to feel and say, but it's where I'm at. We experienced loss before my son and I know if we lose this baby I'm going to feel awful for being negative about this pregnancy. But I don't feel like announcing a pregnancy that I don't feel well enough to feel excited about. I'm kicking the can until I can enjoy it.

CecilTheBear · April 2016

@sweetsasaurus - that seems like a perfectly reasonable way to feel given all you've been through. I hope you start feeling better soon.

sweetsasaurus · April 2016

@CecilTheBear Thank you.

MrsDho11 · April 2016

@sweetsasaurus - this is another "my love it is a hug" moment.

LadyBugMe101 · April 2016

@MissAmeliaPond I downloaded the same app and we are planning on doing the same.. the movie with baby at the end :-). As for your in-laws what if you mail them a cute package and arrange it so they open it while on a phone call or face time with you and DH. It would make the experience more personal and add some warmth to the news.

leighry · May 2016

My husband and I never made formal social media announcements with our first 3 and likely won't with this one either. The occasional US pics or cute announcements are nice to see... the "weekly bump" pics and 3 Facebook posts a day about pregnancy and baby really annoy me.. so we tend to stay away from that. We don't post any US pics or anything. I'm almost 11 weeks and so far my sisters know and that's it for family. I work as a nurse in the ER so my main charge nurse knows along with a few close coworkers just in case I'm stuck in a sticky situation. Have my 12 week scan on the 13th. Will probably start telling more people after that.

Justpeachier13 · May 2016

One day at a time @sweetsasaurus

campbaby76 · May 2016

I told my mom and she apparently told most of the state of Ohio. We haven't told DH's family yet because I want to do something fun Memorial Day weekend when we are a little more secure in the pregnancy and we may know the sex by then. They are close to us and more fun than my family so I'm excited.

seven6five · May 2016

We're waiting as long as possible. I think for awhile we're going to let everyone think that I'm seriously just getting fat. When we do announce it'll probably just be DS in a big brother onesie or something, nothing major. Last time around we announced super early so this time it's kind of nice to have a secret that no one knows. I'm definitely going to try to see if we can find out the sex before telling anyone. I don't know when Facebook will find out, not that they'd be able to go back and find it on my page with all of the random stuff I post.

NenaMommy · May 2016

Hmmm...my announcement plans keep evolving as I read discussions like this. For now, this is what I'm thinking: At 13 weeks, we will tell our immediate family (only FIL in person as he'll be visiting; everyone else lives out of state/country). Upon results from NT scan, we'll tell our closest friends in person. Then, I might send an announcement via e-mail to the next closest group, excluding those who've struggled with IF. Special text to those with IF. And finally, FB announcement, possibly doing a custom audience list so those with IF aren't exposed.

Thoughts welcome!

ChicagoFloridian · May 2016

We are also not doing an announcement. We skyped/face timed with parents and siblings to tell them after the first ultrasound showed a heartbeat. Once I hit 13 weeks I told my boss and I have been telling certain friends in person and a few over the phone. And I have requested no social media posts (I know some people get excited and want to write congratulatory messages).
I like seeing other friends' announcements but it just feels weird for me. Although I am telling people more openly now, I still truly feel like until I am home with a healthy baby there are no guarantees and having some big social media presence along the way regarding preg is not my thing.

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