Anyone else have a big family?

tlszoltysik · April 2016

We already have four boys and found out baby number five is coming. While I'm excited and so is DH, I just don't want to tell our family because I don't feel like hearing the comments. Anyone else deal with this?

Sugargirl1019 · April 2016

Commenting though I actually thought the tone of this thread would be different..

I'm so sorry! As long as you remain positive to your family whenever that time comes, you're family and friends can suck it. What a blessing to have a big family in a world where eyebrows are raised for more than 3. I don't know how to deal with comments from the ones you should be getting support from, but I'd just remain positive and remind them that you want this baby and are excited.

I am one of 4 kids in my family, and I love it. I want a big family.

Let me just be excited for you here: Yayyyyyy!!! So EXCITED for your little one to arrive!! They will have some great teachers and protectors and playmates!! What an awesome number!! You fill all the seats in the back of a standard SUV! Woohoooo!! Congrats!!!

hope that helped

ShalomAtHome · April 2016

There is something so beautiful about big families. Have you ever read an obituary page? When people get old, it is often something of an honor to have an abundance of decedents. I just celebrated my grandmother in laws 100th birthday and one of the main topics was how many kids, grandkids, and great grandkids this woman has.

If you can care for all of your kids, why not? What a beautiful thing to share so much love. It is not for people to decide whether or not people should be having 1 child or 10. It is a beautiful thing to have a family and size is just a small detail

bakerstreetboys · April 2016

That's sad to hear that they might not be happy for you. I'm expecting #4, and though we've only told my Dad so far, I expect that everyone will be happy for us. There may be some concern, but it would be more along the lines of "you're already so busy, how can you handle another one".

Approach is with enthusiasm,and hopefully if everyone sees that you're happy with it, they will be too. Good luck

amylianne · April 2016

Congrats!! My dad is one of 6 boys and it's a blast!! They have great childhood stories and are still very close.
Unfortunately, I do know where you're coming from. This is #3 for us and my family is "concerned". It's mostly my m9m, but it's still very difficult when people you care about don't share your excitement. They will love the baby to pieces when they are here!!

tlszoltysik · April 2016

My mom knows and she is great! Very supportive, it's mainly my in-laws I don't want to tell. They are great people but they already have made comments when number 4 came along. I can only imagine what they will say about this one. I personally love having a big family and my kids are great with each other, they are all close and I truly feel blessed to have them.

lukesliebe · April 2016

I grew up the oldest of five children and when my mother remarried I became the third of twelve. My mother has heard every snide comment you can imagine! I loved growing up in a big family and I know my parents wouldn't have traded it for the world. I love being able to know that no matter what is going in life that I have 11 other people who have my back no matter what. It's true that family is the one thing that matters and I wish I could say that you'll be spared the snide comments ranging from an upraised eyebrow to "don't you have TV in your house?". I've never understood why random people seem to think it appropriate to question a family's desire to have more children. I wouldn't ask someone about their decision to purchase a flat screen TV or a brand new car but people seem to think they can comment on the number of children I have. I have my fourth on the way and all I can think about is that I hope we have more! Children are a blessing and you are supremely blessed! Keep your chin up and just remember the problem is with them and not you.

hndzfl · April 2016

We just found out #7 is on the way. I can totally relate to how you're feeling...I've heard it all! I agree with the other ladies, just keep it positive and try your best to ignore the negative comments. We haven't told yet but are sharing the news tomorrow after our oldests bday party...I'll keep you posted.

Heather

mattanda2011 · April 2016

We had basically this exact problem. I am pregnant with baby #3 in 3 years so we will have 3 kids 3 and under. This is something we have always wanted and we are very happy, but my in laws were not so supportive.
My DH told his parents one night when I was not around and they basically started out with saying "what are you going to do?!" He said we are really excited and if they are not they do not need to be around any of our kids, because they either love all of their grandbabies or none.
They are big talkers but as soon as DH laid down the law about it they came around and apologized and have been happy so far.
Hopefully it goes well for you, but I think you can just be clear to them, they are either nice or they are not going to be as involved, and they are either happy about all their grand kids or none

whitneyp26 · April 2016

Hey there, I have been lurking for a couple of days and I'm glad someone else asked this. I am on baby #4. I have told a few close friends but for the first time I have NO desire to tell anyone else. I'm not even telling my mom until I can't hide it. DH and I had discussed having another and recently became less cautious assuming it would take awhile since our last took 10 cycles of actively ttc. Well isn't this how it always works? Not very bright of us because here I am pregnant immediately and it's horrible timing! Even if it weren't, I still don't think I would get much encouragement. As someone said above this seems to be a day of 2-3 kids MAX. I felt judgement with my third as it was. Anyways, you aren't the only one. I won't be announcing on Facebook at all and I'll let everyone else guess when I'm getting big, you know so they can feel really uncomfortable wondering if I'm just fat

Vasana · April 2016

This is my husbands second child, but my seventh, it's early so we are only telling people close to us. We've already been getting comments about don't we have enough? And don't we know how that happens. It bothers me but ultimately the only opinions that matter are ours.

TinkerSmith · April 2016

This is just so interesting to me. I'm from a family of six kids, and no one raised an eye brow. In our culture 4 or 5 is normal and 6 to 7 is a big family, assuming it is from one marriage. My aunt has 9. My DH and I are on the same page that 3 is our minimum.
What I'm saying is it is all relative, and be happy with your choice. I Loved being in a big family. If one sibling was busy, or there was a fight, there was always someone else to play with and talk to. I wouldn't give it for the world.
I'm excited for you. You know how much you can handle.

tarleton05 · April 2016

We are pregnant with number 4. When we announced it we got "Umm... WOW" and a few laughs. I already get the "you have your hands full" and "bless your heart" and "are they all yours" comments. Once I have this little one I'm sure more people will throw in their two cents. I respond with positivity and show them that, yes, I do love being with these amazing human beings and that, yes, I am blessed to be their mommy!

phoenix870509 · April 2016

We are only on baby 1 right now, but I have been pretty vocal that I want at maximum 5 kids. I'm an only child, and that sucked growing up. DH is the second of 5 and the only boy, and my MIL is one of 13!!!!!! So I know they will support however many kids DH and I have. As my FIL would say, just add more water to the soup

dmontgo · April 2016

People always like to have negative opinions about things that don't affect them in the slightest!

Big families aren't really for me, but I admire women that have big families. I saw an episode of a house renovation show last night and the couple had 9 kids. The first thing I thought was that the mother must have such a big heart. She truly loved each child and respected their individual personalities. Knowing myself, I would struggle, but I think it's awesome you have a big family and you shouldn't let anyone get you down!

When people give me negative opinions on anything, I tell them that when they start paying my bills THEN they can have an opinion.

mommymommy7 · April 2016

I am pregnant with number 8

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