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intro. **tw** child mentioned

killysmum23killysmum23 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
First off im so sorry for everyones losses never thought i would have to post over here though i dont think anyone does. I'm going to have my first miscarriage and the kicker is the baby is still holding on:( I started bleeding a few days ago and new something wasn't right so went to the drs and found a baby which I know is supposed to be 8 weeks only measuring six weeks with a low heart beat at first they tried to tell me I'm just early but I know I'm not because I had a positive pregnancy test before I would have even concieved this baby so now I'm just waiting I know my body is getting it because I'm bleeding heavily but the baby is still holding on. I go in next week to make sure the miscarriage progresses. I just feel  numb and not in my body right now I have a 19 month whom without I don't know what I would do taking care of him the past few days have been a challenge I'm a sahm and my husband needed to go back to work and we have no family close though my mom is coming in this weekend for a week. Anyadvice ? How did you cope with another child ? I am so sorry anyone has ever had to go through this. I did look at the parenting after loss board but it seems inactive so I hope its ok I mentioned my child.
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Re: intro. **tw** child mentioned

  • ThePax89ThePax89 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I have an 18 month old. I miscarried for the first time when she was 12 months old and for the second time when she was 14 months old. Be reasonable with yourself, if you need to turn on Mickey for an hour or two, do it! Caring for my daughter helped me not fall into a pit of depression, but I was resentful that I didn't have time to grieve. 

    Can you hire a babysitter? You will need some help. Can your husband stay home? 
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  • killysmum23killysmum23 member
    Thank you yea I have been feeling so guilty having to put tv on so I can rest . He could but because I'm a sahm we need him to be at work financially I figure when things reslly start happening he will be home my mom is coming in this weekend for a week but who knows how long this all will take. My aunt does own a daycare so I know if need to she will take him while my husbands at work. So sorry for your losses! Pregnancy has not been very kind to me I had delivered my son at 31 weeks due to pre e and we both could have passed I really was not anticipating going through another difficult situation but I am so thankful for him. Thanks for the advice and kind words. 
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  • ThePax89ThePax89 member
    I'm thinking of you @killysmum23
    it sounds like you've been
    through a lot with your son, total bs to be going through this too 
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  • killysmum23killysmum23 member
    Thank you good luck to you! Life can be crazy sometimes trying to stay positive it will create strength for the future!
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  • kns1988kns1988 member
    Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it is quick. Take care of yourself.
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 


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  • 1inthehopper1inthehopper member
    So sorry you are going through this 
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  • killysmum23killysmum23 member
    Thanks everyone I woke up in the middle of the night and naturally miscarried everything.  I'm definitely emotionally and physically drained but happy its over and dr thinks I will only need to follow up with blood work until level drop. So sorry for everyone's losses and  wish I won't have to but hope I can offer support in the future for anyone else whi has to go through it.
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  • HLD3194HLD3194 member
    My daughter was 18 months old when I found myself expecting again. We had been trying for just shy of a year. I wanted my kids close in age. I obviously lost the baby at 11 weeks and found taking care of my DD afterwards very distracting, but at night when she was in bed I was a mess. I would cry myself to sleep. I don't know which is worse, losing a child and not knowing what you could of had or losing one knowing what you do have? It's a double edged sword and shitty  either way. Sometimes I found myself not wanting to interact with her because I was resentful that this baby that was so wanted and so longed for was taken away. I quickly tried to change my thinking to well at least we have her. I need to cherish her and value what I do have because some people never even get this. It has been a hard journey and I still struggle at times. It has been 8 weeks since our loss and I still think about it a lot but ultimately I love my DD and want to be there for her and raise her to be strong too. I cry when I need to but I try to limit myself. Like ok I'm going to break down, I'll give myself 10 minutes to get it out and after that I need to take care of my family and focus on them because they are my everything. Hang in there and sorry you are going through this. If you ever need to vent feel free to PM me  
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  • killysmum23killysmum23 member
    Thanks so much for your response crazypt and ik so sorry for your loss and struggles (not sure how to tag) I totally get the knowing what your missing. I really thought I was ok when I woke up I had excepted everything and was ready to move on and just a few minuts ago found myself in the shower sobbing like I have never cried before. I find a lot of comfort so far in ds I had. A close call with him being born so early and thank the universe everyday for him but ots definitely very difficult right now I too wanted them close in age and I got pregnant only after two mo of trying but now feel like I want to wait and for some reason feel fearful of not being able to have another.I always had irregular cycles and was told I MAY have a difficult time becomming pregnant although so far that's proven to not be true it sticks with me that pregnancy will always be difficult for me. First I developed severe pre e and now an early loss. I know these things can be common and its may be nothing but my mind just keeps going there no matter how positive I try to be. The wound is still fresh so I know I need time. Again I'm so sorry for your loss and sounds like we could chat all day pm as well whenever needed!
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