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September 2016 Moms
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I need some moral support

Ah825Ah825 member
in September 2016 Moms
I really need some moral support instead of people rolling their eyes and brushing me off. 

I am small framed, but have fluctuated with my weight since I was young. I've gone from overweight to underweight several times- if anyone knows about yo yo dieting this leaves me mentally effed up. I've been a pretty healthy weight for the past several years, but if I see myself gaining I go on a major diet, maybe even not the safest kind and I work out hard at the gym. 

Well, now I'm pregnant and I obviously can not and would not do that for my babies safety. I have really toned down my workouts because they make me feel light headed and I have multiple scleorosis, which adds even more flame to the fire. But I am walking at least 2 miles probably 4 days a week. I am denying cookies and cake constantly, but will indulge in some carbs at dinner time. But I am starting to gain in my arms and face and it's making me really sad. Especially with all the comments I get of people's expectations "you are going to be ALL baby" "you are so tiny, you are not going to gain anywhere" well.... Wrong. My co worker already told me my arms aren't as toned anymore, gee thanks. I put on a bridesmaid dress for early July I ordered 2 sizes bigger and it fits perfectly now- so what about two months from now? :(

Its starting to really get to me mentally when I know it shouldn't and I don't want it to. 
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Re: I need some moral support

  • hey_clever_girlhey_clever_girl member
    I understand completely. I feel way worse about my
    body this time around than I did with my daughter. It's hard to not be one of those mamas that's able to stay in amazing shape all through their pregnancy, especially when they're praised so highly for doing so. 

    What helps me when I feel down is wearing things I feel good and comfortable in, and trying to remind myself that this is just temporary. It won't last forever. Be kind to yourself - it's hard!
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  • SLou24SLou24 member
    I agree with pp to be kind to yourself. This is hard, especially for someone who has struggled with body/weight issues in the past. I too have had some issues in the past but have been at a very consistent and healthy size for several years now. Knowing that I now have virtually no control over what my body will do is scary! I just take care of myself in the best way I know how, and know that I'm doing what's best for me and for baby.

     I also totally hear you on the pressure of people saying things like "you'll be all belly!" or "you're going to stay so tiny!". I know that they mean well (obviously), but to me it feels like pressure -- and to me that means that I might fail. So I just wanted to chime in and say I get it, this is difficult, and it can really mess with your mind. Just take the steps that you know to stay healthy, try not to stress too much over the changes that are coming, because I think while pregnant we really only have so much control over our own bodies. Hang in there! 
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  • kcl219kcl219 member
    I am really hard on myself when I gain weight, and so far this pregnancy I feel like I'm getting bigger all around.  But I keep reminding myself I won't be pregnant forever, and soon my body will be my own again to diet and exercise as I choose.  Not that I'm condoning dangerous diets!  Just keep in mind that this gaining will stop and we will all have the option to work hard and lose the weight.  It may not be easy but if it's something we want then over time we will get there!  Stay positive and I agree to wear comfy clothes that also help you feel confident.
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  • erinkerr13erinkerr13 member

    I hear ya. I have always struggled with my weight and last year I lost 32 pounds before my wedding. I was working out 6 days a week and feeling so good. After the wedding and into holiday season I lost some motivation and started gaining back weight. I planned to start a strict workout regimen again Jan 1. Well then I found out I was pregnant. I have gained more with the pregnancy than I wanted already and now I am up 36 pounds total from the wedding. I am officially the biggest I have ever been. It makes it hard when my husband comments on my stomach or my weight especially. Sometimes I will show him that my belly is starting to look like a baby bump and he will say something stupid about eating too much the day before.

    I just find comfort in knowing I am growing a baby and that I should listen to my body and when it is hungry or not. You are going to gain more some weeks and less others. I would talk to your doc about the weight concerns too. One thing that puts my mind at ease is that my doc always comments that my weight is good (even though I am clearly overweight). If he is not concerned I am not either.

    I also ease my mind by planning for my future workouts post baby. I plan to breast feed and I hear that helps with weight loss. Plus I think about my fitness routine when I am able to do more again. I just need to stay motivated to get back on track once this temporary time in my life is over. That way I can enjoy this process which is supposed to be a miracle :)

    Stay healthy and don't worry about the numbers on the scale. You got this!

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  • cassloumycassloumy member
    I don't have anything new to add since PPs have covered it so eloquently. I just want to chime in with my support and complete understanding.

    I'm sure you look lovely, and anyone going around pointing out body flaws during your pregnancy is full of poop! 
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  • ashtasht member
    First it is probably from retained fluids more than anything. 2nd get some counseling now to help but also to help after delivery when the risk of depression is high. 
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  • JennM205JennM205 member
    @Ah825 I get where you're coming from completely.  But it sounds like you're doing an awesome job at staying active and not over-indulging.  (A little indulgence is necessary so don't beat yourself up over that!)  Our bodies are changing drastically in ways we cannot control.  That is scary!  But you can only do your best and whatever happens outside of that just...is.  Keep telling yourself that.  "I can only do what I can do."  As long as you know you're doing what you can to stay healthy, there's really nothing more you can expect of yourself and your body.  This is temporary.  It will pass.  Starting now and forever, the main priority in your life will be to be the best Mom you can be...and no child is going to gauge that on your appearance!  You got this!
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  • Ah825Ah825 member
    asht said:
    First it is probably from retained fluids more than anything. 2nd get some counseling now to help but also to help after delivery when the risk of depression is high. 
    Ugh, I have severe anxiety/depression.... Severe. I actually take a low dose of anti depressants. Which I try not to think about and have spent hours researching and what not.  I tried to go off of them but...well, assume the worse. It's been a struggle being on such a low dose but I'm struggling through it for the baby. I can't wait to get back on a regular dose. Mental health sucks!!
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  • Ah825Ah825 member
    Thank you ladies so much! It really helps having ladies that will try and relate to me and support me then just get annoyed and shrug it off. Thank you!!❤️❤️
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  • ashtasht member
    Ah825 said:
    asht said:
    First it is probably from retained fluids more than anything. 2nd get some counseling now to help but also to help after delivery when the risk of depression is high. 
    Ugh, I have severe anxiety/depression.... Severe. I actually take a low dose of anti depressants. Which I try not to think about and have spent hours researching and what not.  I tried to go off of them but...well, assume the worse. It's been a struggle being on such a low dose but I'm struggling through it for the baby. I can't wait to get back on a regular dose. Mental health sucks!!

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  • ashtasht member
    It's actually fine to take them when preggo. I took them with my first and she is fine. I am much healthier this round so am doing with out but will start right after birth as I get horrible postpartum depression. If you normally suffer from depression your risk is much higher to also struggle with postpartum. I say focus on therapy now so you can eat like you need to now with less guilt and shame. I struggled with my first pregnancy and nearly ate and after giving birth are even less and I blame this partly for the reason I couldn't breast feed. I also ended up with a unexplained csection and was sick a lot during pregnancy. This time around so far I have had one cold
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  • CoffeeBeanFiend91CoffeeBeanFiend91 member
    No advice just moral support. I struggled with Bulemia for a decade and I always fear relapse when pregnant. Try to focus on the awesomeness that is baby as much as possible.
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  • SarahDarah333SarahDarah333 member
    You just have to remember that this is the one time when it's actually a good thing to gain weight, AND that it's temporary! You have been taking great care of yourself! You kept your weight down and your body toned before, so you already know that you're capable of that- you can certainly do it again ;) AND you will have a beautiful baby! :) Just keep eating healthy and doing what you can, and try to be kind to yourself <3


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