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November 2015 Moms
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Sleepless in Ohio. NEED suggestions!

sarahc939sarahc939 member
in November 2015 Moms
Getting straight to the point: my baby will not sleep. He was a wonderful napper/sleeper for the first 3.5 months of his life, and right around 4 months, when he was sleeping though the night and I was getting ready to start transitioning him to his crib for the night, it all went to hell. Now, at nearly 5 months, he won't even sleep in his rock n' play next to our bed where, just a month ago, he was sleeping soundly. He wants to be in our bed, latched onto me all night. Not only do I know how unsafe this is for him, but I don't get any good sleep in either. However, I eventually get so exhausted that I cave in and let him sleep with us.
He is also a very reluctant napper and will fight sleep during the day if I try putting him down for naps. I know that part of it is b/c we haven't established a routine for him; his dad, aunt (who babysits) and I all have different methods for getting him to take a nap, but that's b/c he won't consistently nap with one method, so we're always trying to find a new way to get him to sleep. And he may go down around the same time a few days in a row, but more often than not, his times are all over the place for the same reason. 
I've made modifications to the darkness of the room, direction in which he's sleeping, placing a sound machine and putting towels under his mattress so that it's slightly inclined. Nothing seems to make a difference. I've tried comforting him quickly and letting him cry it out, but when he cries, it's not just some fussing, it's that shrieking, red-in-the-face, clothes-soaked-from-tears, hysterical crying. 
I've taken him to the pediatrician to make sure that there was nothing more going on with him, and she suggested limiting dairy (in case of sensitivity) and caffeine which I've done and for a while seemed to help. But with him getting up at night multiple times, I'm having a hard time with the caffeine limiting lately, especially on days that I work. 
I feel like I've read every article and post on sleeping and sleep training, but my baby just seems so much more extreme in his resistance to sleeping than they make them out to be in the articles. My lack of sleep is affecting my relationship with my husband, and baby's aversion to sleep is seriously hurting my day-to-day life, when I can't count on having time to do anything b/c I'm never sure how/when/if he will sleep. I'm also getting ready to start online classes next month, and I will NEED time to study and do school work, so I'm desperate for advice!!! (In case it's not obvious, FTM here)
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Re: Sleepless in Ohio. NEED suggestions!

  • nycmommy13nycmommy13 member
    Does your LO like lights? Lights are practically a pacifier with our baby. We have a bear nightlight that changes colors gradually. We put it in the crib with him looking at it and it calms him down. We then take it out once he's asleep.
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  • Peanut1128Peanut1128 member
    I'm sorry it's going rough for you. My son has definitely had those nights. If you can afford it, I would recommend a sleep consultant. They will work with you to troubleshoot his sleep issues and get you on a schedule. Every consultant is different so depending what your comfortable with they will help you decide how much to soothe your little guy.
    Your son needs his sleep just as much as you do, it's amazing how much happier they are when they are sleeping better as well.
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  • DogLoverX3DogLoverX3 member
    I'm just going to throw this out there-it might have been suggested in another thread or obvious, sorry if that's the case. A neighbor of mine has 3 kids and she suggested putting CJ to bed earlier. We were doing 8-830. We now put Charlotte to bed at 7-715 and she sleeps till 6 most mornings. With the occasional 5am and 7am. So maybe move the bedtime up? (She is on a feeding tube, so she is constantly being fed 1.5 ounces an hour all day and night, so there is no wake for feeding. Except we have to change the food bag every 4 hours.) Also, she cries out a few times in the middle of the night but we can usually soothe her back to sleep. An early bedtime has made a big difference for us! 
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  • JLW0504JLW0504 member
    I know this may be hard, but maybe he may need consistency. Have you, DH and your aunt sit down and set times for him to eat, nap(even if he isn't sleeping) and a set bedtime routine. play, feed, bathe, sleep. The routine we have is I get home from work at 5:30. We play until 6, eat dinner until 6:30, baths until 7, rock with Maddie in the glider until 7:30(she's asleep at this point but I get precious little time so I take all the snuggles I can get) and watch a low energy show or read with Ellie until 8 and then she's in bed.

    I know it's different for everyone but it's worked with both of my kiddos. Maddie falls asleep on her own around 7pm and Ellie goes to bed at 8. Aside from the glow of the cd players in their room, it's always dark when they're sleeping. Maybe get some blackout curtains for napping during the day. Instead of a sound machine, play regular music. My kids haven't really gotten into sounds, they're more responsive to music. DH had a huge classical collection so we've been playing that for them every night.

    That's just my take on it. Maybe he's teething? gassy? reflux?
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


     
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    I didn't read the entire thread or responses because I saw " I know hi unsafe cosleeping is" do some research because it's not unsafe... If you do it right!
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  • VexedMommyVexedMommy member
    kdoak2015 said:
    I didn't read the entire thread or responses because I saw " I know hi unsafe cosleeping is" do some research because it's not unsafe... If you do it right!
    It may be unsafe due to her exhaustion, but in general co sleeping can absolutely be done safely. 
    If there's something strange underneath the hood.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  If there's something weird and it don't look good.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  Immediately.  If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor.  It's for your health and your child's. 




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  • sarahc939sarahc939 member
    Thanks for all the suggestions! I wrote up a rough guideline for daily sleep/activity schedule that includes an earlier bedtime, and told aunt and husband that we NEED to try sticking to this. I felt bad, but the other night I put Henry in his crib for the night and he cried for about 45 min, but then slept for 2 hours before getting up to be fed and afterwards he slept the rest of the night in his RNP. Last night he went down in his crib with no fuss at 8pm and didn't wake up until midnight! He insisted on sleeping in our bed after, but I'll take what I can get!
    I've been tracking sleep time, play time and noting when he starts getting tired in order to try and get a more accurate schedule down for him, but I'm worried about consistency, particularly w/ husband. He tries, but he doesn't have much patience before just resorting to whatever will get Henry to stop crying, and he doesn't understand the long-term goal with sticking to a schedule, even if Henry fusses about it sometimes. *sigh*
    But I feel like we're on the right track at least. 
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  • smnewbysmnewby member
    edited April 2016
    We had the same thing with our little one. Amazing sleeper until about 4 months. Then she began fighting everything couldnt find a pattern that helps she would end up overly tired and shrieking.  We tried the swing, the rnp, the crib, cosleeping and even sleeping in a recliner at the breast...nothing would keep her asleep between cycles. We were so concerned we had the pediatrician checked her out and our doc said it wasnt an ear infection or reflux and she has been a chunker for a long time so not a hunger issue.
    Our daughter deteriorated nightly until last week when it hit an all time new low with waking every 40 minutes 24hrs a day. My husband and i both work full time and it had become a nightmare we were like the walking dead. My husband actually fell down the stairs that night because he took a wrong turn in his delirium. 
    My pediatricians nurse recommended we let her cry and told us maybe she had become dependent on us to get her back to sleep between cycles. I was so opposed to it at first but she made the point that our daughter would probably end up crying less than she is now and told us we needed to prioritize her sleep since ahe was definitely not getting enough (she was down to 7 total hours daily even with all our props and assistance).  Out LO cried 40 minutes the first night then slept 8 hours straight. She woke to eat and then slept another 5hrs. It took us 4 days but each night she fussed less and now she goes down with maybe 20 seconds of fussing and wakes up rested (as do we).
    Consistance was key for us, and she has a set bedtime along with a routine. 
    I know the method isnt for everyone and I was sure that it would never be something I would do. But, as has happened so frequently thus far with parenting, there is what I plan and then there is reality. 




     
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