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No flames: Moms who have DC CIO.

SoonToBeShaferSoonToBeShafer
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

My DH is a CIO person. I'm not. I try to let it go for a few minutes because I do know (read in lots of books and pedi) that crying helps them lose some tension.

If your DH pushes the CIO and you're not the biggest proponent, how do you deal with it? For us, we argue sometimes lovingly sometimes not (more often not) and I go in and get the baby. But at that point, I've waited 20-60 minutes....which is FOREVER. DH is always like, "if you would have just waited a few more minutes...he would have fallen alseep"

I agree that he needs to learn how to self-soothe better, but how do I accomplish this without having to force-teach him by letting him CIO for hours. It just kills me to hear him cry.

My DH makes me nuts, but I know he's just trying to look out for DS so that he sleeps on his own and he wants me to be able to sleep through the night now that I'm back to work.

Please, only non-flameworthy suggestions.

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Re: No flames: Moms who have DC CIO.

  • MattsWifey<3MattsWifey<3

    Tell your DH to cry it out. Your baby is too little to CIO and self soothe.

    I am not flaming just suggesting you ignore your DH and enjoy all of the snuggle time and attention your baby wants right now.

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  • RobynKRobynK member

    Two suggestions:

    1) Show him your research on why this is not good before 6 months (books, online medical sites, etc.)

    2) Take him to a ped appt and ask the ped with him in the room.  From a doctor usually gets better reaction from a DH. 

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  • MattsWifey<3MattsWifey<3
    wait, i just re-read the post. you've let her CIO for 60 minutes? ugh. that breaks my heart. pick up your baby please. she needs you and wants you. your dh is an asss.
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  • bstngrl578bstngrl578 member
    CIO should not start until 6+ months. You baby is too little to be left alone for 60 minutes. Tell DH to suck it....
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  • eowynmneowynmn

    seriously. You're stupid.  How many posts do you chicks need to read saying you shouldn't let a 3 month old cio before you listen. 

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  • Libramom2bLibramom2b
    Even pro CIO books say 3 months is too young. 3 month olds can't really self soothe. Give DH one of your books and let him read that himself.
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  • SoonToBeShaferSoonToBeShafer

    imageMattsWifey<3:
    wait, i just re-read the post. you've let her CIO for 60 minutes? ugh. that breaks my heart. pick up your baby please. she needs you and wants you. your dh is an asss.

    I've already picked him up, nursed him a bit, and he's sleeping soundly now.

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  • bstngrl578bstngrl578 member
    Put DH up here so we can flame his asssss.
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  • SoonToBeShaferSoonToBeShafer
    imageeowynmn:

    seriously. You're stupid.  How many posts do you chicks need to read saying you shouldn't let a 3 month old cio before you listen. 

    That was not a nice response. I've never posted about CIO before.

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  • SoonToBeShaferSoonToBeShafer

    imagebstngrl578:
    Put DH up here so we can flame his asssss.

    I'm reading the responses to him now.....he likes this board when it's in his favor. He's not a fan right now.

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  • userdeleteduserdeleted member

    I am pro-CIO and I think 20-60 min is too long. If he cries that long I would suspect that he's not tired when you're laying him down. Do you have a swing or anything? DS always cries before he goes to sleep and what I've been trying lately is getting him nice and drowsy in the swing, and then laying him down for his nap. After that it's usually like 2 min tops of crying before he's out.

    As far as STTN I don't really have any ideas...if he's still hungry during the night you have to feed him, not sure what your DH wants you to do? I consider DS's night sleep to be excellent, and he still gets up at least once, usually twice during the night. 


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  • j&j1999j&j1999

    Here is my 2 cents....it is probably very important for you guys to each learn how to compromise a bit b/c there are going to be a lot of parenting choices that you will need to show a united front on.

    So about your delima...I believe in CIO, however not until the baby is older and has shown signs of being able to self soothe.  We are ferberizing DD right now and it has been HARD!  Is he suggesting that the baby cry until they fall asleep w/ no checks?  Can you do some research on varios CIO plans and discuss them w/ him w/ the research in front of you.  I am fairly certain you will find that nobody suggests CIO until close to 6 months.  Perhaps when he sees this he will understand that DC is not on the road to sleep h*ll just yet and you have some time to formulate a plan you are both comfortable w/ should such sleep issues arise.

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  • SoonToBeShaferSoonToBeShafer
    imagej&j1999:

    Here is my 2 cents....it is probably very important for you guys to each learn how to compromise a bit b/c there are going to be a lot of parenting choices that you will need to show a united front on.

    So about your delima...I believe in CIO, however not until the baby is older and has shown signs of being able to self soothe.  We are ferberizing DD right now and it has been HARD!  Is he suggesting that the baby cry until they fall asleep w/ no checks?  Can you do some research on varios CIO plans and discuss them w/ him w/ the research in front of you.  I am fairly certain you will find that nobody suggests CIO until close to 6 months.  Perhaps when he sees this he will understand that DC is not on the road to sleep h*ll just yet and you have some time to formulate a plan you are both comfortable w/ should such sleep issues arise.

    Thank you for your suggestion. I am doing some online research now. DH is saying that our pedi supported CIO at 8-weeks. I'm going to either call on Monday or wait until our appt. in two weeks. I think the doc was just telling me not to nurse him to sleep all the time (he was packing on weight).

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  • ibfloridagirlibfloridagirl member
    i have nothing against CIO, yes even at 3 months, Ike is fully capable of self soothing, he just sticks his fist (or both) in his mouth and sucks away.  That being said he's never cried more than 3 minutes (i timed it and cried right along with every second) and i really don't think i could let him just cry without at least trying to comfort him without picking him up (pat his bum, rub his back etc).  Maybe that would help?  GL!
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  • SoonToBeShaferSoonToBeShafer

    I don't let him CIO without going in at all. I just hold off on picking him up. I do rub his back. I practically hug him while he's crying by leaning over the crib. I rub his forehead and his belly. I go in every few minutes and then finally I breakdown and pick him up.

     

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  • susie1079susie1079

    My opinion, 60 minutes crying = he's not tired. If he finally does fall asleep after 60 minutes it probably because he is exhausted FROM crying. Perhaps you are putting him to bed way too early.  Plus CIO at 8 weeks per pedi - get a new pedi. No flame, just an honest answer. Good luck with you husband!! :)

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