Postpartum Depression
futurefrommeyer
member
My Dad Doesn't Believe PPD is Real
futurefrommeyer
member
I have never posted before, but I'm looking for any advice or if anyone else has ever been in this situation before I'd love to know I'm not alone in this. My son was born in November and I was diagnosed with PPD in December. I went to my doctor, was put on Zoloft and felt better after a few weeks. However, things between my dad and husband have been tense lately. They both think the other person is always wrong and my dad is convinced that my husband never does enough. Things got really stressful for Easter weekend and I haven't been the same since. I feel horrible and am having a depressive relapse. My recovery has taken some major steps back. Whenever I'm with my dad, he complains about my husband and for Easter that was hours on end every second we were alone. My dad never says anything positive about my husband and my dad has the audacity to ask if I'm happy in my marriage. I'm not happy with anything! I don't even like myself. I tried to explain to my dad that PPD is chemical issue in my brain. My dad told me he refuses to believe I really have this problem and that this is all my husband's fault. That if my husband did more for me I would feel fine. My husband is not perfect, but he is supportive. He listens to me and more than anything, he is patient with me and that is what I've needed more than anything. Could my husband clean more around our house? Yes, but ultimately that is not the top priority right now. My mental health is our top priority so sometimes there are dishes in the sink and our living room carpet doesn't get to meet the vacuum as much as it should, but our house isn't in shambles and it is still a safe place for our son and ourselves. I'm not sure what to do with this situation with my dad. When my dad told me that he refused to believe I have PPD, I was at a lose for words and the hurt I still feel about that is pretty significant. Any helpful thoughts or ideas on how to tackle this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Re: My Dad Doesn't Believe PPD is Real
As far as your Dad goes, it is not your job to convince him that PPD is real. Let him be ignorant. Your diagnosis doesn't change the fact that he's being a jerk. NO ONE should ever try to get between spouses.
IMO you should immediately start standing up for yourself and your husband to him. Anytime he says anything negative about H just tell him, "Dad, I need you to stop. I think you're saying that out of love; but, when you bash my husband it makes me feel angry at you. He and I are adjusting, and it's hard. What I could really use from you is encouragement. Please stop playing the blame game." If you have a specific thing you need him to say or chore that needs done state what you need. On my worst depression days I had a hard time putting away dishes.
Then, if he says something else negative either leave or tell him to leave. "I asked you to stop, since you didn't I'm: telling you to leave/leaving". Then DO IT.
I know tough conversations are 1000x harder with depression so it might help you to rehearse it in a mirror or with your DH.