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falling asleep with baby **tw**

mcandice16mcandice16 member
edited April 2016 in November 2015 Moms
it's a sad story but I want to put it out there so that it doesn't happen to you.

my cousins friend and her husband have a 7 month old baby. They got a sitter for the kid and went on a party bus to a baseball game. Ended up coming home, I'm assuming after cocktails and sent the sitter home. Dad took baby upstairs with the dog to sleep (which they co-sleep all the time). Well dad ended up suffocating the baby. 

I do not fall asleep with the newborn in my arms whatsoever and he does not sleep in my bed. Just want to let those who do know to be more cautious about sleeping with their child.
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Re: falling asleep with baby **tw**

  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    This is a very sad story and I feel for the parents. You should edit this and add a trigger warning to the title. 
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  • Lolo427Lolo427 member
    I struggle with this as we bed share and this is a HUGE fear. At the same time, my daughter actually sleeps through the night now, opposed to the crib where she wakes every 2 hours without fail. We try our best to follow guidelines and we are not and will never be bed sharing if intoxicated or on meds. I don't know how this happens or how people not notice? (Genuinely, not snarky here). It should also be noted that co sleeping can be done successfully. A friend of mine has bed shared with all four of her children.
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  • doodleoodledoodleoodle member
    I agree with PP. This is a totally avoidable tragedy. Don't bedshare after drinking. I just can't imagine a sober adult rolling onto their baby and if they did then they would surely wake up.
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  • AiramJAiramJ member
    Oct 15 lurker here...we pretty much co slept with baby since he was born. We have a cot attached to the bed (my side) but it was always easier to have little one in bed with me for bf, plus him and I love it. He sleeps much better and loves the cuddles. He never sleeps between my husband and I, only between the cot and me. I can honestly say that my sleep has changed and I am always aware of him next to me. His head is always next to my pillow and he has his sleep sack on. Never ever would I have him in bed while intoxicated. (I don't drink anyway). I feel awful for that family. What a horrendous thing to go through. The poor baby :-(
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  • Peanut1128Peanut1128 member
    That is so sad, my heart breaks for that family. 
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  • kmd91kmd91 member
    I want to preface this by saying I don't think parents who cosleep are bad parents or that it's the wrong decision, we all just have to do what works for us. However, to say that the intoxication is the only risk here just isn't right. Yes, in this particular situation I would say that the fact that he was drunk led to the incredibly sad result here. However, things like this DO also happen to sober parents. Bed sharing comes with inherent risks. Yes, you can minimize those risks and make it as safe as possible, but to deny that there are any risks? No. 

    My heart breaks for that family, though. And the fact that you know that the father will have that one night of poor judgement haunt him for the rest of his life. Incredibly tragic circumstances. 
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  • rubirubi89rubirubi89 member
    Wow so sad but it does happen. As a co sleeper, we are (or should be) aware of the risk we take, adding alcohol to the mix is a recipe for disaster. We are transitioning to the crib succesfully but when we do bring the baby over, he sleeps on my side, never between us. 
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  • GoogleMDGoogleMD member
    BowWowBowie said:
    I've co-slept with both children, currently my DH does not sleep in the bed with us and sleeps in our extra bed. 

    This is a very sad outcome due to poor choices. I agree with PP that intoxicated parents and animals DO NOT belong in a co-sleeping environment. PERIOD. I love wine and I have only had one glass, while the kids were with my mom for the night. 

    This post came off that parent's who co-sleep are making bad decisions & judge-y. 
    Agreed.
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  • chein1chein1 member
    mcandice16 said:
    it's a sad story but I want to put it out there so that it doesn't happen to you.

    my cousins friend and her husband have a 7 month old baby. They got a sitter for the kid and went on a party bus to a baseball game. Ended up coming home, I'm assuming after cocktails and sent the sitter home. Dad took baby upstairs with the dog to sleep (which they co-sleep all the time). Well dad ended up suffocating the baby. 

    I do not fall asleep with the newborn in my arms whatsoever and he does not sleep in my bed. Just want to let those who do know to be more cautious about sleeping with their child.
    The bolded part irks me. One bad judgement call has cost a family their child, but it certainly doesn't make you a better parent than them. 
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  • SoFlaMommie1128SoFlaMommie1128 member
    I cannot fathom the horror this poor family is experiencing. What an absolute nightmare. 

    That said, the issue here is that the parents shared their bed with their infant while intoxicated. Let that be the horrific lesson learned for anyone who reads this - that is, never co-sleep while intoxicated.
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  • mcandice16mcandice16 member
    If I wanted to state that I am a better parent opposed to them then I would have stated that. I don't judge parents who sleep with their children, I just do not do it. I was just sharing their story to others so if someone does have a few cocktails then they would hopefully not sleep with their child. 
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  • taykerslaketaykerslake member
    Then why did you feel the need to add that "you don't do it"? You could have just said the story and then said you just wanted to share with other cosleepers. Definitely judgy.  
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  • BowWowBowieBowWowBowie member
    taykerslake said:
    Then why did you feel the need to add that "you don't do it"? You could have just said the story and then said you just wanted to share with other cosleepers. Definitely judgy.  
    This. 

    Also: mcandice16 said:
    If I wanted to state that I am a better parent opposed to them then I would have stated that. I don't judge parents who sleep with their children, I just do not do it. I was just sharing their story to others so if someone does have a few cocktails then they would hopefully not sleep with their child. 

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  • Lolo427Lolo427 member
    I also think the insinuation of 'be more cautious' is part of it, as it implies those who bed share aren't taking precautions to begin with. As the tone can't be heard over the Internet, all we have for communication comes at face value with content.  
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