Things you wish someone had told you

Curls919 · April 2016

Another thread made me think that it might be nice to post some things that we wish someone had told us before we were experiencing it (whether it was a pregnancy thing, a labor/delivery thing or a having a baby thing). Any BTDT moms want to chime in with some advice for the FTMs out there?

Curls919 · April 2016

I have two:
- postpartum hair loss!!! It's real. Around 3ish months postpartum you (likely) will lose a ton of hair, especially around your hairline. It stops a few months later, and taking a biotin supplement may help, but it's scary when it happens and you may want to invest in a lot of headbands for this time (I'm so embarrassed looking back at pics from that time!).

- having a kid is awesome, but it's also possibly the hardest thing on a marriage. You and your SO will most likely have some of the worst fights of your life in those first few months. It's a combination of lack of sleep, hormones, and just the addition of another person into your lives. You will (hopefully) get through it, but it really sucks while you're in the midst of it.

SkiChic626 · April 2016

The books, omg the books.....don't bother! You're going to figure out and do what works for you and your baby, there's no magic book that's going to teach you how to parent.

edited for typo

mumblefrog86 · April 2016

laughing at the first 2 posters, They are soooo true!

mumblefrog86 · April 2016

The post partum bleeding no one warned me about the first few days how heavy it can be, I seriously thought I was dying.

emmeline714 · April 2016

@SkiChic626 sooooooooo TRUE my cousin says he is not ready to be a father and once he feels ready he will have a baby with his SO which she wants a baby and she is excited that i am having a baby girl..... I tell her it will happen at the right time and could be maybe not with my cousin because he is so immature and sometimes talks like babies and kids are the worst thing in the world smh and she is so sweet, people think they need to have knowledge and read books to be a parent and you learn as you go thats how life is

cal031686 · April 2016

You don't have to pack the whole house to the hospital. (The hospital gives you what you need) I tried to be modest with what I brought but I still felt like I was packing up a whole house once baby was released from NICU.

jamiesc58 · April 2016

Everyone did tell me to sleep when the baby sleeps, I just didn't realize how much you should absolutely take this suggestion to heart! The baby controls your schedule for the most part for a while and no matter what you try to do, it never seems to work out in your favor. So take naps with baby because he/she will be waking you whenever they want day or night. Exhaustion is no joke and also has an impact on the marriage/relationship as you will be a momma bear without sleep. Also, you don't need to break the bank to make baby comfortable. He/she won't remember if the bassinet was etched in gold or from a second hand store as long as it is safe for baby.

Katienu · April 2016

I wish someone told me that the real tough stuff doesn't last forever. When you are in the thick of it, you have NO IDEA that this is temporary. You feel like it will never ever end and you will be stuck in a world of pure survival forever.

bearsandbeets7 · April 2016

Katienu said:

I wish someone told me that the real tough stuff doesn't last forever. When you are in the thick of it, you have NO IDEA that this is temporary. You feel like it will never ever end and you will be stuck in a world of pure survival forever.

THIS. THIS. THIS.

I wish someone had told me not to take advantage those last few weeks where it was just DH and I. I was so excited and uncomfortable that I completely rushed that by. Once this baby comes it will never be just You and DH again.

JLyn821 · April 2016

- I definitely agree with the PP hair loss. I noticed it falling out, but didn't notice the change in my hair until it stopped. Two huge chunks from my forehead hairline. Crazy.

- PP "Depression" doesn't necessarily manifest as depression. It can be anxiety, overwhelmed-ness, OCD, etc. Also, it can start after your 6 week PP appointment. If you're EVER unsure of how you're feeling, call your OB. They will take your concerns seriously. Don't feel like a failure. This is all hormonal and you have no control over it.

- You know what's best for your child. Mother's Intuition is VERY real. Listen when other people make their suggestions, but at the end of the day, you are the mom. It's your child.

- Don't expect the "overwhelming immediate falling in love" feeling when you see your child. I was immediately protective of DS, but wasn't "in love" with him. I thought something was wrong with me because of that. Now, almost two years later, it's insane the amount of love I have for him.

I'm sure there's more, but these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

amccul20 · April 2016

oh my gosh, water retention! for days after the baby was born I was so swollen everywhere. I thought something was seriously wrong with my feet, they were HUGE!

apparently this is totally normal:)

carstekj · April 2016

These are great!!

-I was totally caught off guard when I didn't have the feeling of "extreme falling in love" when my first child was born. Everyone would ask "Isn't the feeling amazing?!" and I was just like "Eh, sure." The love came, it just wasn't instant!

-Don't beat yourself up!! I remember crying the first night I gave my first child a pacifier. I felt like I was failing and his nursing would be doomed. We also had to supplement for the first few weeks with formula because he lost too much weight. That made me feel like a failure too. But it was necessary for his health! As a first time mom I put so much pressure on myself and it was very overwhelming. With my second, I was happy when she took her first bottle, because I knew she was happy with whatever form of "milk" she had. Give yourself a break!

-Take people's critical advice with a grain of salt. Our first born wanted to be held and rocked most of the time. Grandparents would tell me I was spoiling him etc... I just shrugged them off, and I'm glad I did. Our second child didn't want to be held, she would rather be in a bouncer than in our arms. I tried to rock her before bed and she would just get antsy and want to lay down. Every child is different. Our first child is still a cuddle bug and our second is Ms. Independent!

pelorunningmama · April 2016

I love this post. So much of this is stuff I've forgotten! Night sweats were something fierce for me. Keep extra comfy pajamas on hand. I would change in the middle of the night.

Also hemorrhoids. UGH. They were terrible for me. They went away after a while, but man it was excruciating while they lasted. I'm already looking up remedies in preparation for that.

And... my hooha was a little dry after it all. Ask your OB for some cream to help bring back the moisture... this will make a difference once you are cleared for sex again.

Coconut oil works great on your nipples if you don't have any lanolin on hand.

Google "cluster feeding." It is all too real and it is extremely normal. Your nipples might want to fall off during this period, but it will pass. DD did this for maybe a week and a half or so. I read about it like crazy, but gave in to her demands.

Pump first thing in the morning after baby has had their milk. Your supply is typically better in the morning and this will help you build up a freezer stash. This won't apply right away... it is more so once your supply has been established.

Curls919 · April 2016

Like @JLyn821 said - pp depression or anxiety can happen any time you have a hormonal change. This could be as your kid starts eating solids (around 6 months) and is drinking less breastmilk. My pp anxiety started around 8/9 months.

bananers · April 2016

OMG, I totally forgot about the night sweats! I never sweat, and I had to change my clothes a couple times per night, I was so drenched.

Also, not everyone has leaky boobs. Many do, but I never leaked and I thought something was wrong with me. I had stocked up on breast pads that I never ended up needing.

Lastly, never say never when it comes to anything. You do what you need to do to survive in the beginning. I was anti-pacifier and anti-bed sharing. DS got a paci on night 2 (because *I* was the paci and I was bleeding) and came to bed with us on night 4. I laugh at my pre-baby self sometimes. Along those lines, don't be too vocal about what you will or won't do because you may eat your words later.

I I have a friend with 5 kids who says "never trust a baby." It's become one of my favorite mantras.

Bookhousegirl · April 2016

The hair loss, holy cow! I feel like my hairline has finally grown back fully, but I couldn't do a ponytail without a headband for like a year and a half!

I wish someone had told me about the crazy emotions - just random, uncontrollable crying - for no reason the first week or so. My hormones were out of control. Especially in the evenings, 6:30/7:00 would hit and the tears would just come. I think anticipating the night would get me. It can feel really lonely and overwhelming when you're sitting up with a crying/nursing baby at 3 in the morning.

texasmama2014 · April 2016

It's never going to be perfect and that's ok. So sit down and take it in.

emilymt06 · April 2016

JLyn821 said:

- Don't expect the "overwhelming immediate falling in love" feeling when you see your child. I was immediately protective of DS, but wasn't "in love" with him. I thought something was wrong with me because of that. Now, almost two years later, it's insane the amount of love I have for him.

This! This! This! I think a lot of FTMs expect this over the moon feeling, and they have a huge let down or feel like something is wrong with them when they don't feel enamored in love! I can't express this sentiment enough.

I also second everything else I have read on this post.

ballofmeat · April 2016

I had a discussion with one of my close girlfriends about this very topic of things no one tells you. We started talking about breastfeeding and she said she wished someone would have warned her about the contractions she got every time her little one latched for nursing in the first few weeks. I looked at her and said whaaaat? More contractions?!

kristynmac · April 2016

Thank you for this thread!! It's been 11 years for me so reading through all these is just bringing it all back!

There are two things that I remember:
1. You may be terrified to poop after having the baby. I remember feeling sore and just nervous, but at the same time having to go--just all around awkward.
2. PADSICLES. I worked in OB when I had my son and a couple of nurses made me padsicles to put in my freezer and I was pretty skeptical. First night home and the discomfort was real, I am a little ashamed to say how much I enjoyed sitting on a frozen pad, but it was heavenly.

https://prettyprovidence.com/diy-padsicles-postpartum/

Biggest pads you can find
Witch Hazel
Aloe Vera
Lavender Essential Oil

Partially unwrap a few pads at a time, but don’t detach the wrapper. Spread aloe vera generously up and down the whole pad. Don’t just do the middle part – spread it further down almost to the bottom of the pad. Just trust me on that.
Pour about a teaspoon of witch hazel down the middle.
Add a few drops of lavender oil. Fold the pads back up to how they were and stick them in a gallon sized plastic bag, then freeze.
Pull them out of the freezer one by one as needed and let them thaw for two or three minutes before use.

lotsofsunshine · April 2016

I agree with everything PPs have said.

No one warned me how terrifying it would be to drive alone with your baby for the first time. Hubby driving us home from the hospital was no big deal, but a couple days later when I had to take DS to his appointment was so nerve wracking.

SkiChic626 · April 2016

lgem4 said:

You will sweat like crazy after giving birth (mainly in your sleep). Its all the hormones working out of your system. Don't bother showering at night the first week, you will wake up soaked in sweat.

HAHA! I forgot about this. I didn't sweat, but I was soooooo hot. Everyone came into my hospital room and were like omg it's freezing in here the baby is probably cold, meanwhile, I felt like I was having heat stroke.

lotsofsunshine said:

I agree with everything PPs have said.

No one warned me how terrifying it would be to drive alone with your baby for the first time. Hubby driving us home from the hospital was no big deal, but a couple days later when I had to take DS to his appointment was so nerve wracking.

And this too!!! I took DD to her 2 week check up by myself and I was constantly looking in mirror and paranoid about how she was sitting and holding her head in the car seat, etc...obviously, something bad was bound to happen while she was sleeping in her car seat for the 15 mins it took to get to the dr's office. But after that first time I quickly got over it and wanted to be out with her all the time - woohoo freedom!

SkiChic626 · April 2016

Gotta add another one.....no one really talks about PPD and how your emotions will be in a total state of schizophrenia the first time you get your period back and/or when your milk dries up, especially if you don't experience it until your LO is a little older. I was totally fine until DD was about 7 months old. My milk supply really started to take a hit out of nowhere. I hadn't changed anything I was doing, it just started to disappear, and then about 2 weeks later I got my period back. I went into a huuuuuge state of depression for a month or two. I cried a lot, and I had horrible scary fits of anger. There was one time DD wouldn't sleep and was just crying nonstop, and I went in her room, tried to comfort her, probably put her binky in her mouth a little too hard, never picked her up tho, and then I just started screaming - not at her per se, but at the situation - I literally couldn't stop screaming. DH came in and took her downstairs and I sat on my bed curled up in a ball shaking for like an hour before I could calm down. It was so scary and I couldn't control it. There were other instances, but that was by far the worst. On top of all this, I was not ready to stop breastfeeding, I was so incredibly proud of making it as far as I did as a working mom, and my goal was a year. My body, however, woudln't cooperate no matter what I tried to do. Once I got my period back my milk quite literally shut off. I never got engorged again, my boobs were like flat tires, all I could get out of them were drops at a time when normally I could pump 8oz in an average sitting, sometimes more. It was devastating - I felt like I failed my baby and myself. Obviously, that added to the PPD. I was lucky that it didn't last that long - maybe 2 months, with the first few weeks being the worst. Also, while this was going on, my SIL was soon to be due with her baby girl, and they thought she wasn't growing and were going to have to deliver her early, so DH's family started basically telling us that we needed to give his sister OUR baby stuff?? Excuse me???? First of all DD, is only 8 months old, she's still a baby and needs her stuff. Second, I'm such an emotional wreck right now, the thought of giving up baby stuff when my first and only baby is only 8 months old.....no, just no. It was the first time I actually stood up to his parents and told them no, this is how it is, this is what's going on with ME, it's not happening, at least not right now. And that shut them up. That was actually a turning point in helping me start to feel better. I felt empowered again and that gave me a sense of control, since I hadn't had control over what was going on with my body, I needed that. Anyway.....this has become a long post, but I don't think people talk about this scary stuff enough, and you don't think it could ever happen to you, but it's soooooooo incredibly real. And it doesn't always happen right away - for me it took 7.5 months before it hit, and at that point you don't get regular pp check-ups anymore where they make you fill out the PPD questionnaire.

Curls919 · April 2016

@SkiChic626 - I called my OBs office at 8 months pp asking for help with my PPA and the nurse actually said to me "well you were fine at 6 weeks so you don't need our help". That's one of the many reasons I switched offices this time around.

i thought I was going crazy. I ended up going back to the new mom support group at my hospital and breaking down in tears. The lactation consultant who ran the group got me the number for a ppd/ppa hotline to call and they set me up with a therapist.

I basically just felt like I was failing everyone. I wasn't being a good wife, I wasn't a good employee to my bosses (I made so many stupid mistakes during that time), I wasn't taking care of myself and I was anxious/obsessing about DS. Every morning I would have a freak out trying to get everyone ready. Then I'd come home from work, and the freak out would resume with dinner, bedtime, cleaning up, getting things set for the next day, etc. id be mad that DH wasn't helping but I wouldn't let him do anything for me. I had to take a step back and see what was realistic for me to do and what needed to be done. This was a major reason why I ended up quitting my job (which was part time at that point). At 6 weeks I was awesome. I was just home with my baby and not back in "real life" yet. That plus DS's health issues during this time we're basically what sent me over the edge.

Katienu · April 2016

I just thought of one more thing. When I had our DD, my neighbor came over to see her. She said to me, "Kate, don't be afraid to ask for what you need." That advice stayed with me for a long time. Mat. leave can be very lonely and with hormones raging, you can get low. So I started to follow her advice. Rather than tip-towing around situations I would tell people what I needed, such as please come over and visit me...and BRING FOOD.

Fremdschamen · April 2016

There's a lot of great stuff here. I echo the comments re: PPD/PPA, marriage, sleep, and not feeling a wave of love immediately.

Re: breastfeeding, there is a lot of misinformation out there, and sadly a lot of medical professionals don't have enough training/knowledge in this area. There are some people whose milk just doesn't come in-- if that's you, and you want to breastfeed, seek help immediately and you may be able to get things going. (No shame in deciding to formula feed, of course!)

If your baby's latch doesn't seem right, ask about lip and tongue ties. They are common, but many doctors and nurses don't know about them or check for them. A good lactation consultant or pediatric dentist should be able to help.

The other tip I always offer new parents is not to warm up their baby's bottles (breast milk or formula) at first. If your baby will take a bottle at fridge or room temperatures, it will save you a ton of trouble when you are out and about (some kids won't, but many will!). It also avoids wasting milk. My daughter took her milk and formula cold. Daycare would give her the bottle straight from the fridge and were able to just put it back in the fridge when she was full. If you heat it, you have to throw away the unused portion!

amccul20 · April 2016

I cried every single night for the first week of my son's life at the exact same time of the day. I was just so emotional that he was getting older and he life was flying right by! haha.

pp emotions are no joke

AliKay20 · April 2016

Read these to my DH and we are both experiencing, "shit just got real" moment. This thread is reality. Thanks all for sharing. I want to put on a padsicle right now! My body heat these days...unreal.

kiwico14 · April 2016

kristynmac said:

Thank you for this thread!! It's been 11 years for me so reading through all these is just bringing it all back!

There are two things that I remember:
1. You may be terrified to poop after having the baby. I remember feeling sore and just nervous, but at the same time having to go--just all around awkward.
2. PADSICLES. I worked in OB when I had my son and a couple of nurses made me padsicles to put in my freezer and I was pretty skeptical. First night home and the discomfort was real, I am a little ashamed to say how much I enjoyed sitting on a frozen pad, but it was heavenly.

https://prettyprovidence.com/diy-padsicles-postpartum/

Biggest pads you can find
Witch Hazel
Aloe Vera
Lavender Essential Oil
Partially unwrap a few pads at a time, but don’t detach the wrapper. Spread aloe vera generously up and down the whole pad. Don’t just do the middle part – spread it further down almost to the bottom of the pad. Just trust me on that.
Pour about a teaspoon of witch hazel down the middle.
Add a few drops of lavender oil. Fold the pads back up to how they were and stick them in a gallon sized plastic bag, then freeze.
Pull them out of the freezer one by one as needed and let them thaw for two or three minutes before use.

A padsicle life hack my L&D nurse taught me: do it with a newborn diaper instead. Cut the diaper open and fill it with crushed ice. You can also lay Tucks pads on them if you don't want to do the prep.

Also, that numbing spray they give you at the hospital is the best. Ask for an extra can.

Ditto on everything PP have said.

I will add: sunshine and fresh air. Especially when the baby is so little that you don't want to go somewhere with lots of people, at least you can go sit outside or even take a walk for a few minutes. I had DS in February, and I didn't get outside much until it got warmer, but those days were glorious. It helped me feel human again.

Also, don't be a slacker, but listen to your body about postpartum exercise. It's hard to bounce back, and it's okay to ease into it. Also be aware that it can impact your milk supply. My BFF lost weight like crazy while nursing, but the second I tried to do any real exercise, my supply tanked, no matter my water intake/nutrition/supplements. I had to choose between getting my body back or nursing (nursing won). I'm so glad I nursed DS, but it sucked to spend a year stuck in my postpartum body with no real change.

bearsandbeets7 · April 2016

I wish someone would've told me how painful it would be when the nurse would massage your stomach/uterus every few hours after birth. After the first time I would dread her coming back to do it again! Note: I had a csection so I didn't really experience the full labor thing so I don't know if it was as painful for those who had a vaginal delivery.

bananers · April 2016

Lynnlove28 said:

I wish someone would've told me how painful it would be when the nurse would massage your stomach/uterus every few hours after birth. After the first time I would dread her coming back to do it again! Note: I had a csection so I didn't really experience the full labor thing so I don't know if it was as painful for those who had a vaginal delivery.

I don't remember it being painful, but it was very uncomfortable - and really gross because it would audibly squish a wave of blood and nastiness out every time.

Curls919 · April 2016

I didn't get the uterus massages, but the most painful part of labor was the cervical checks. Yowza those things hurt!!

Disneygeek77 · April 2016

If you had a previous loss or infertility, don't put too much pressure on your self to " cherish every moment." My first child passed away when she was 4 months and spent her entire life in the hospital. When we brought home our second, I felt so much pressure to enjoy every minute with her. Well, guess what, I wasn't. I was miserable. I felt so guilty because with my first I would have done anything to bring her home and here I was so unhappy with my healthy baby. I remember I was on these boards and was listening to other mothers talking about how unhappy they were. I was jealous of them. I wished I could also talk freely of how depressed I was, but felt like I couldnt because I was a loss mom and loss moms have to be happy with every moment. In the darkest moments, I would wonder if God took my daughter because he knew I couldn't handle being a mom. Then one day I said to myself, " you know what, having a newborn is hard and no matter what I have been through before, it is still hard and I have just as much right to vent and complain as anyone." Once I gave myself permission be frustrated and talk about it, I actually started to feel better. So that is my advice new moms. No matter what you went through to get to this point, this is still hard and it is ok to talk about it.

SkiChic626 · April 2016

Fremdschamen said:

There's a lot of great stuff here. I echo the comments re: PPD/PPA, marriage, sleep, and not feeling a wave of love immediately.

Re: breastfeeding, there is a lot of misinformation out there, and sadly a lot of medical professionals don't have enough training/knowledge in this area. There are some people whose milk just doesn't come in-- if that's you, and you want to breastfeed, seek help immediately and you may be able to get things going. (No shame in deciding to formula feed, of course!)

If your baby's latch doesn't seem right, ask about lip and tongue ties. They are common, but many doctors and nurses don't know about them or check for them. A good lactation consultant or pediatric dentist should be able to help.

The other tip I always offer new parents is not to warm up their baby's bottles (breast milk or formula) at first. If your baby will take a bottle at fridge or room temperatures, it will save you a ton of trouble when you are out and about (some kids won't, but many will!). It also avoids wasting milk. My daughter took her milk and formula cold. Daycare would give her the bottle straight from the fridge and were able to just put it back in the fridge when she was full. If you heat it, you have to throw away the unused portion!

Definitely going to try again with this one this time around. DD refused cold milk. I think she was just so used to getting it at 98.6 degrees from the tap that when offered cold she was like wtf is this cold crap?! We tried and tried but it never happened with her. I'm going to try again with this baby, but we'll see how it goes!

That said, if you do have a baby who doesn't want cold milk, unless I was pumping at work and knew I wouldn't be using my pumped milk that day, I always kept my milk out for 8-10 hours at room temp - she would actually take it like that, so I wasn't worried about wasting it if she didn't finish it all. If we ended up not using it within those 8-10 hours then it went in the fridge or a freezer bag.

SkiChic626 · April 2016

skelly70 said:

kristynmac said:

Thank you for this thread!! It's been 11 years for me so reading through all these is just bringing it all back!

There are two things that I remember:
1. You may be terrified to poop after having the baby. I remember feeling sore and just nervous, but at the same time having to go--just all around awkward.
2. PADSICLES. I worked in OB when I had my son and a couple of nurses made me padsicles to put in my freezer and I was pretty skeptical. First night home and the discomfort was real, I am a little ashamed to say how much I enjoyed sitting on a frozen pad, but it was heavenly.

https://prettyprovidence.com/diy-padsicles-postpartum/

Biggest pads you can find
Witch Hazel
Aloe Vera
Lavender Essential Oil
Partially unwrap a few pads at a time, but don’t detach the wrapper. Spread aloe vera generously up and down the whole pad. Don’t just do the middle part – spread it further down almost to the bottom of the pad. Just trust me on that.
Pour about a teaspoon of witch hazel down the middle.
Add a few drops of lavender oil. Fold the pads back up to how they were and stick them in a gallon sized plastic bag, then freeze.
Pull them out of the freezer one by one as needed and let them thaw for two or three minutes before use.

A padsicle life hack my L&D nurse taught me: do it with a newborn diaper instead. Cut the diaper open and fill it with crushed ice. You can also lay Tucks pads on them if you don't want to do the prep.

Also, that numbing spray they give you at the hospital is the best. Ask for an extra can.

Ditto on everything PP have said.

I will add: sunshine and fresh air. Especially when the baby is so little that you don't want to go somewhere with lots of people, at least you can go sit outside or even take a walk for a few minutes. I had DS in February, and I didn't get outside much until it got warmer, but those days were glorious. It helped me feel human again.

Also, don't be a slacker, but listen to your body about postpartum exercise. It's hard to bounce back, and it's okay to ease into it. Also be aware that it can impact your milk supply. My BFF lost weight like crazy while nursing, but the second I tried to do any real exercise, my supply tanked, no matter my water intake/nutrition/supplements. I had to choose between getting my body back or nursing (nursing won). I'm so glad I nursed DS, but it sucked to spend a year stuck in my postpartum body with no real change.

Yup, this too. Everyone tells you that BFing is like some magic weight loss secret. Um, no. I was down to my pp weight 11 DAYS after DD was born, yes days. But that's exactly the time that my milk finally came in and once I started BFing I gained about 30 lbs. Any time I tried to exercise or cut fat/calories my supply would virtually disappear. I, too, had to choose between BFing or weight loss and BFing won. I've never been a tiny person, but I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin for a really long time. It wasn't even about how I looked, because I was able to dress the body I had, but it was just having rolls and things in places that I could feel it when I sat and stuff like that - it made me feel sluggish and gross for a long time until I was able to go back to the endocrinologist and get back on a weight loss regimen. Once I stopped BFing I dropped those 30 lbs within a couple month, THAT was my magic lol.

ginger819 · April 2016

Lynnlove28 said:

I wish someone would've told me how painful it would be when the nurse would massage your stomach/uterus every few hours after birth. After the first time I would dread her coming back to do it again! Note: I had a csection so I didn't really experience the full labor thing so I don't know if it was as painful for those who had a vaginal delivery.

I would literally cry when they did this the first few times. I actually remember feeling bad for DH because I would cry and he would just sit there with DD and have this terrible look on his face like he wanted to help but couldn't do anything. Same thing for the contractions afterward and having the catheter placed (because of swelling I had one most of the hospital stay). I had a real love hate relationship with the nurses. They brought sweet pain relievers, but also did those things and gave me my blood thinner shots (I have a blood clotting disorder and had them for 2 weeks post partum).

The frozen pads saved my life. They helped so much. Also, drink tons and tons of water. The more watered down your pee is the less it hurts to go and learn to use the squirt bottle to help too. I dreaded going until I got how to use the bottle down.

Be ready to be exhausted, the hallucinating that your sleeping kind of tired. Those first two months I felt like that every night and most of the day. I would be sitting with DD and my mind would wander and it would feel like I was dreaming but I was awake.

Also, this time I'm going to take it easy on the first shower. I wanted just a long hot shower, but I got over heated and light headed and felt like I was going to pass out. I had to get DH to get a nurse to help me back out.

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