Back again. Need advice.

kns1988 · April 2016

Hi everyone. I found out today at 10.5 weeks pregnant that my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. This is my 2nd miscarriage in 6 months and a huge blow because we thought that the pregnancy was going perfectly. I had all of the symptoms of pregnancy, 2 good ultrasounds showing a heartbeat, and no signs of miscarriage. I'm waiting to hear from my doctor, but she mentioned that the options are to wait for a natural MC, take meds to begin the MC, or D&C. I don't know what she is going to recommend yet.

My last MC was natural and it was so physically painful. Are the others options just as painful? I'm sorry that we're all here and I appreciate any input you have. I'm so lost right now.

mylittleversailles · April 2016

First of all, I'm so very sorry.

*tw details of loss*

I took misoprostol and I was in about the same boat as you, so I can't speak to the other options. It was extraordinarily painful. I had strong a benzo and Percocet, so I didn't feel most of the worst of it. If you do medical, which I did because I wanted privacy and comfort of home, you should have narcotics. It does not feel anything like a period, not matter what the doctor says, especially being as far as along as you. Mine was drawn out a while, as the placenta came out six days after my first dose. I was having mild contractions for the whole time, but I thought it was gas because no one told me how long it might take. I would have asked for more pain killers if I'd know. It stopped hurting as soon as the placenta came out. I spotted right to AF, which was 28 days from delivering the placenta. I had excellent care throughout and was monitored until my ultrasound and betas were clear. I would go the same route again, if I have to make the choice.

edit: words

I should mention, I have red hair, so I process pain and pain relief differently.

BornReady · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice on your choices. I had an unassisted miscarriage at home that was quick, so I did not have to explore other options.

Spartanrd4 · April 2016

I had a D&C almost 6 weeks ago, I also had a missed miscarriage where I thought I was a little over 9 weeks but the baby only grew to 7 1/2 weeks. My doctor favored the D&C over the pill because my hcg levels were on the high side (>125,000) and she worried about excess bleeding. I personally chose the D&C as well for myself because I just don't think I was emotionally strong enough to go through the miscarriage process on my own. The thought of my baby dead inside of me (and had been for awhile) and still feeling pregnant was heart breaking and I just wanted the whole thing to be over as quickly as possible.

As for the procedure, It was done under general anesthesia so I didn't feel or remember a thing. I had some cramping afterwards, kind of like a bad period which went away after a day or so (they gave me norco for pain but didn't really need much). I bled for about 4 days starting the day of my procedure- heavy/medium flow and then spotted for another 2 weeks after that. My pregnancy symptoms slowly went away, morning sickness was gone pretty much instantly. I had a follow up a month later and had beta levels checked and they were 21. This week they were 12 so hopefully next week they will be zero!

Think about your options and do what you feel is right for you. I am very sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here.

mylittleversailles · April 2016

@Spartanrd4 My hcg was also very, very high and the crash that came after was intense. The nurse, who knew more of our story than the doctor who prescribed the medicine, was surprised I went that way.

The truth is, I was most concerned with the tiny chance of infertility the doctor mentioned was a possibility after a D & C.

silentP · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses. I also had two miscarriages in a short time span and it's devastating. I hate this for you! Please take care of yourself.

I had two D&Cs and they both went fine, and for me, it was the right choice. Pain was almost non-existent, just mainly some cramps. I felt much better the following day after both procedures. The major downside is the cost, for me. But again, worth it. It's a little scary getting an IV and getting anesthesia, but the procedure only takes 15-20 minutes, and it's more of a twilight sleep because you don't have to be intubated.

Perhaps if you wanted to do any testing, that might be the way to go. Though, I think testing is possible in other circumstances, if that is what you want.

It's all very overwhelming, but I hope that helps a bit. Sorry you have to make this decision ;(

dpjennifer · April 2016

I can only speak to the d&c that I had. I didn't have any other options as they suspected my PG was actually a molar. (It was not, thankfully). The procedure was fairly simple and easy. I was physically fine afterwards and had almost no bleeding. I was physically exhausted though for days, where the simplest thing such as running to the store to get milk wore me out. Also around 4-5 days later I started to get some pain and it got really bad for a few days. So physically it wasn't too bad, and probably what I would choose to do again.

Good luck with your decision and I'm so sorry for your losses.

fivetimesnoluck · April 2016

I am so sorry you're here. Two losses in six months is an incredible heartache.

I have never had a D&C, all of mine were natural except one that was assisted by cytotec (misoprostol). The pill made me physically ill - TMI Details - diarrhea and vomiting at the same time - and I do not feel I was prepared enough for the violent nature of it all. I don't recall if I was prescribed pain meds, but if I was there were not enough of them. I echo @reneeannemm in saying that if you go this route, make sure you're prescribed sufficient meds.

I feel fortunate that I didn't have to add a financial burden to the emotional one, by paying for additional procedures and I was even able to collect remains from two of my losses and submit them for pathology.

That said, I don't think there is anything pleasant about any method, or any part of it really. I believe that with your doctor's guidance, you will make the right decision for yourself.

You will be in my thoughts. Be easy on yourself. Big hugs.

RiverSong15 · April 2016

I'm so incredibly sorry to see you here. I was going to choose misoprostol, but started MCing naturally this weekend before I could take it. This one was was more painful than my first. If you go the medical or natural route, I'd recommend keeping on a schedule with ibuprofen and getting a prescription for a stronger painkiller just in case. I was originally going to choose a D&C, but the risk of scarring was too high for me (my OB said 5% risk). I was really tempted to get it over with though, as the long drawn out waiting process was emotionally torturous for me. Otherwise, I just wanted to send creepy internet hugs. Recurrent loss sucks so bad.

ETA: there is an "Advice" thread pinned on the Miscarriage and Loss board that has a lot of people's stories, if you want to read more about all three options.

roper2617 · April 2016

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I took misoprotisol for my MC. I found out at 12+5 that the baby stopped developing at 8w. I chose the misoprotisol because I had zero faith my body would proceed naturally.

**tw loss details**
The misoprotisol for me was excruciatingly painful. I took it vaginally, but I've heard of women taking it orally. My MW said it's faster or more successful taken vaginally or something like that. I did not take any medication for pain. By the time I caved and took some Tylenol I kept (projectile)vomiting it up, so it was essentially useless. I believe vomiting is sometimes a side effect of the miso, for me though it was a reaction to the pain, not the miso. (I get very very nauseated with regular menstrual cramps, so that's how I figure it was the pain rather than the miso) I've only had the one MC so I can't speak for the other options. And yet despite how much pain I was in, if I had to do it again, I would still choose the misoprotisol.

I'm sorry that you're having to make this decision. Take care of yourself.

Edit to add TW and also: the whole process was completed in slightly over 24 hours, with the worst lasting 14 hours. TMI WARNING***I also had a hard time keeping the pills in because heavy bleeding kept flushing them out.

MWoodside · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses.

Ive had two missed miscarriages- one at 14 wks and one at 9. I opted for D&C for both. The first time it was recommended bc I was into second tri and my dr worried about hemmoraging. The second time we were tracking so close and the loss wasnt a complete surprise like the first one do I opted for a D&C the next day after we confirmed the heart stopped.

i have zero regrets. I have no interest in the pill option. I'm not judging the choices of others. The pill is not intended for this use and I've heard a ton of horror stories. I've also have known several people who ended up needed a d&C after taking the pill for retained tissue complications. No thank you.

I didn't have it in me to wait out a natural miscarriage. The whole process of loss is traumatizing enough. I absolutely cannot deal with knowing my baby is dead inside me.

The d&C process both times was positive. The staff was so kind, it was fast, I was home resting soon after, I wasn't in pain, I had no complications, they were suction so no known scarring.

i hope whatever you elect goes smoothly.

the only negative to the d&C was what I owed after my insurance paid.

ThePax89 · April 2016

I am so very sorry for your losses.

I had a natural miscarriage and then another loss, 10 weeks later. It was also a huge shock to us. I opted for a d&c because like you, my natural miscarriage was unbelievably physically painful. My d&c was not without complications. I had retained tissue and needed a second d&c 7 days later. I still would have chosen the d&c over a natural mc. I needed control over the situation.

kns1988 · April 2016

Thank you all so much for the responses. I had no idea the meds could be so painful, and I personally want to avoid that trauma this time around. This has helped me make up my mind to go with the d&c, and if there are complications resulting from it, that's just going to be another step in our difficult journey. My doctor did finally call me back to give me the options, but she wouldn't recommend one over the other for some reason. So again, thank you for sharing your stories. There have been a lot of tears today but I'm doing the best I can.

@RiverSong15, I'm sorry to see you here, too. I'm going to miss the N16 board.

amberruka · April 2016

I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry for your losses.

kns1988 · April 2016

Update: D&E is scheduled for Wednesday. I'm still in shock and can't believe we're going through this again, but I'm surrounded by supportive family and friends. I seem to have gotten lucky in a twisted way because my OB is going to refer me to an RE afterwards. I always heard it took 3 losses before they would, but I guess they treat it a little differently at this office.

RiverSong15 · April 2016

@kns1988, I'm glad you're getting the support you need. And I'm glad you're getting an RE referral, if you want it. The ASRM updated their guidelines a few years ago to say that it's worth at least a clinical evaluation after two losses, but not all OBs have caught up I guess. Hugs again.

LCRbelle · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses

Yeah I think it depends on the doctor. I had doctor after doctor refuse testing on me after two losses. I finally found a doctor willing to do tests then had my third loss during that time. So frustrating because I found out what was causing it right at the same time!
I hope you get some answers soon.

valleric · April 2016

No advice, I had a natural mc myself. Just wanted to say I'm so sorry this is happening to you again!

bluebutterflies · April 2016

Sending you love. I am going though same now baby stopped growing at 7 weeks am supposed to be 9 weeks today. Have decided down pill route as feels a little more natural than D& c. What ever your choice i think it is important that we pick what is right for us. My last MC happened naturally was painful but the process for me was healing
I am taking a couple more days to prepare with cramp bark, rasberry leaf tea, hot water bottle back up pain relief too. Wishing you speedy recovery too xx

ThePax89 · April 2016

@kns1988 I'm so sorry. So sorry again.
I don't know if it was mentioned above yet, but ask for genetic testing to be done on the baby. I was told it was unnecessary because 2 consecutive losses wasn't a big deal to my doctor, but I demmanded it.
The results brought my husband and I closure.

I'm glad that you are seeing an RE.

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