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April 2016 Moms
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How are you handling alerting your/his parents to labor?

SherlockedMomSherlockedMom member
in April 2016 Moms
 Call immediately? Do you want them up at the hospital? Or are you just letting them know after the baby is born? 


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Re: How are you handling alerting your/his parents to labor?

  • wildtotwildtot member
    Since we are having a section we are only telling our immediate family the date and general time frame. We will then share the news and pics after he is born. No visitors the day of and only immediately family the next day most likely. I don't want to deal with ppl immediately after surgery and I want to be able to bond as a family. My mom originally wanted me to call her on the way in so she can be there but there is no point since visiting hours and # of guests at a time are limited. The section is scheduled for early afternoon.There will be about 2-3 hours where I won't be able to to see anyone anyways so what's the point of having them wait. Being able to bond as a family it's our first priority. I don't want to feel the pressure or obligation to keep ppl updated or see them right away. 
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  • Brandi81012Brandi81012 member
    We told immediate family when our induction was, but we also told them that we wanted no one waiting at the hospital. We told them that ahead of time. Then once she arrived (2:22am) that next morning we called them to let them know they could come anytime after noon
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  • mrstraxmrstrax member
    MIL knew first because she came up to watch DD at our house while we were at the hospital. We let the rest of the immediate family know when we got confirmation that it was baby day (no chance of being sent home). 
    With DD they were in the waiting room, which was really nice for DH since I napped once I got the epidural. With DS they came later because it was a weekday and labor went MUCH faster (6.5 hours vs 21.5). 
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  • RoseShadow873RoseShadow873 member
    I'm telling my mom right away so she can come but we probably won't tell his parents until after. They can't come since they live really far away.
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  • adifrogadifrog member
    Our C section is this afternoon and we were warned to tell people about three hours later than the scheduled time, since it's an OR situation and it's just DH allowed for a while.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    We notified everyone when I went to the hospital and then when she was born. But we knew nobody would show up till we told them they could. If I thought people would appear at the hospital, I would've waited.
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  • lreni529lreni529 member
    We texted both of our parents updates after I was admitted. My parents came a couple hours after she was born and my in laws came that afternoon. We gave both grandparents the option to come after I was cleaned up and we had our bonding time but then told everyone else they needed to wait till the afternoon.
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  • sprocketsngadgetssprocketsngadgets member
    From when we left for the hospital to when DD2 was born was two hours and fifteen minutes. Family got a call after she was born since there was zero time to alert anyone prior. No one lives close enough to visit so it wasn't a big deal and plus side was no annoying calls asking about how my labor is progressing 
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  • ladylolly89ladylolly89 member
    I was induced and we didn't even inform family of the planned induction ahead of time. They recieved texts/calls after the birth...surprise! I would absolutely do it that way again. Not necessarily the induction part, but it was so nice to not have anyone know that I was in labor until it was over! No calls/texts/worrying.  B)
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  • helleebelleehelleebellee member
    My parents were out of state, so I waited until just before she was born to let them know I was at the hospital. DHs mom hadn't talked to him since we told her about baby.  She just happened to text him that afternoon because she saw his truck was home.  She wanted to know how long he was in town for.  He told her we were in the hospital.  We figured it would be better for her to find out directly from us and not from someone else. She decided at that point to come visit us without telling us, or even asking. I'm not entirely sure why because she has never visited with any of the others.  Long story short, she walked into the room just as the room was cleared from me giving birth.  5 minutes earlier, I wouldn't have even been covered up.  The time I should have spent with baby, skin to skin and nursing, was instead spent with her in the room.  If I had known ahead of time that her showing up was a possibility, I would have told them no, but like I said, she's never come before, why would she when she's ignored us for 2 months? After everyone left and the nurse was helping me get up to walk around and change bedding, I vented to the nurse about the whole thing.  She was just as shocked as I was.  Everyone else found out after she was born. 
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  • ladylolly89ladylolly89 member
    @SweetBriarBee My goodness!!! My hospital asks ahead of time who is going to be in the delivery room and wouldn't have even allowed her back into L&D, let alone into the delivery room! 
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  • ImpatientPattyImpatientPatty member
    We will be alerting everyone after she's born. The last thing I want are the annoying calls/texts asking for updates
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  • helleebelleehelleebellee member
    @ladylolly89  They did ask and I filled out paperwork stating who was allowed for the birth, but since she was already born and I hadn't stated no visitors, they let her in.  
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  • briterfly84briterfly84 member
    We are scheduled to be induced next week.  We told both sets of parents the induction date because we have kids and need to make sure they are covered.  I've told my siblings and his, but they all live out of state.  Also informed my immediate coworkers because I teach Special Ed and my kids need transition time.  We won't be announcing anything until after the fact socially or otherwise, our 2 kids will be the first to meet LO and then grandparents, depending on what time she is born.  Our families are tight and not annoying (seems like we are VERY lucky/blessed in that respect) so I am not really worried about them hovering or constantly checking up on things.  Besides...there's a power button on my phone for a reason.  If people get texty....I will turn it off, easy peasy.  
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  • cmjenkiescmjenkies member
    @briterfly84 seriously though, thank heavens for non-intrusive, non-annoying families!
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  • momofmanyinthemittenmomofmanyinthemitten member
    ILs are watching our other 3 kids, so they will know right away, but they also live just around the corner. I'll call my mom right away too, but her work schedule will dictate when she can make the 2 hour drive and give the ILs a respite from the kids. 
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  • MrsCayEyeMrsCayEye member
    Right now all of our parents know when the RCS is scheduled, the ILs are watching DS and my mom & maybe my dad will hang out at the hospital while I'm in surgery. If I go into labor before then we will tell them right away, again we will need ILs for DS and my mom will probably come to the hospital. We told everyone when we went in to be induced with DS and all of our parents were there to visit pretty much right after he was born and the rest of our family/friends came through out the day. I didn't mind the visitors right away, I actually preferred it rather than the next day when the adrenaline had worn off and I was beyond exhausted. 
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  • bunnywahlbunnywahl member
    All of our family lives out of state but my parents are here now staying with us to help us out after birth. They know to leave us alone once labor starts and that we want 2 hours bonding time at the birth center after birth then they can come visit. DH's dad and stepmom are close and will be in town the 16th and we will likely let them know when I go into labor but FIL is so excited (sweet) I fear he will tell all DH's half siblings and siblings who will tell my MIL who is a nightmare and we only want to inform her after baby is born. Plus FIL will want constant updates so I'm not sure yet about telling him when labor begins. Don't want DH tied to phone, neither does he want to be. 
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  • MariaSara1134MariaSara1134 member
    DH only has his mom and even though she won't contribute to the relationship I'm trying to build with her, I want her to feel important as second Grandma. So I plan on keeping her updated but she definitely wont be in the room with us. Which she doesnt know yet, and idk if she even cares or automatically knows lol so... that will be... interesting to talk about on delivery day. Because I know she at least plans on being there waiting. As for the rest of my family, I regret everything. They havent stopped texting me/my mom for a few days and my due date is barely tomorrow 
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  • nikkinbonnienikkinbonnie member
    My parents and ILs are arriving from out of state next Thursday. I really really hope baby comes before then so DH can do the whole hospital thing alone. If they are here they will be at the hospital because there is nothing else for them to do being from out of town. My mom says she will handle the ILs and keep our boundaries for us. Hopefully that will work. 
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  • AGK2015AGK2015 member
    We'll be notifying my SIL once I go into labor (because she lives about 100 yards from the hospital, and she'll likely have to deal with visitors while we're there, so we want her to have plenty of notice). Everybody else, we'll call once baby is out and we're nearly ready to have visitors. I don't want the added pressure of people waiting on my or wanting updates while I'm trying to have a baby or while I'm trying to bond with my new little family. I'm pretty sure if I let them know that we're going in, they'll head directly to the waiting room anyway (particularly since both mom and MIL have been insisting that I'll probably actually want them there, despite all my protestations to the contrary).

    I do get why they're so excited, but they'll have a whole lifetime to get to know her. They can wait.
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  • randilea0110randilea0110 member
    We aren't telling anyone until we are on our way home or even home from the hospital for a few days. I want those first few days to be for our new family. I don't want to have to try to please anyone or try to be nice and not hurt anyone's feelings. I want that time to try to bond, rest, and recover. Both my parents and my IL's keep insisting that I'll change my mind, but I'm bullheaded and that just makes me that much more determined not to deal with them until I'm good and ready. I'm with @AGK2015 I know that they are just excited, but they can wait. 
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  • knottie00f5b4cb01056c2eknottie00f5b4cb01056c2e member
    My mom will have to book a flight to come visit, so we will be calling here after we're admitted. My ILs, however, can be to the hospital in less than an hour, so I told my husband that I don't want to see anyone until the following day. I know everyone is very excited (today's my due date), but I'm going to want to relax, shower, and have time to take in everything that just happened. We'll let family know when baby is born, but  let them know that we'll tell them when they can come to visit.
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  • kimey1kimey1 member
    edited April 2016
    I guess it would really depend on the time of day I give birth but I'd like at least several hours or half a day for just the three of us to be in the moment. My in-laws may be unhappy or possibly offended if I don't tell them when the baby is born so I will have DH tell them baby was born but ask them to come after we've had some quiet time. I appreciate the excitement but they are loud, big talkers so I don't think I could handle that when I'm trying to recover. They always overstay their welcome.
    If I succeed in a vaginal birth I'd want max half a day to ourselves, and at least a day if it becomes a C-section. My mom will be here but she's the quiet helper type so I would have my mom with me. Plus she is flying in from abroad so she'll always be by my side unless she wants to be at my place to rest/cook/clean.
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  • seasidesweeteseasidesweete member
    My parents will be watching DD so they will know right away. His parents live 14 hrs away and will be driving down, so they will know as soon as we are admitted. Looks like we are being induced on Thursday if baby doesn't come before then so it makes things a little easier now (although, I'd be happy to go on my own before that!). With DD mom was in the room w my (my crazy choice) not doing that again.  So it will just be me and DH and then once baby is here DD will get to meet her new brother or sister first. Then my parents will be able to meet him/her. And hopefully his parents will be here soon after that!  So exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 
    I did make the mistake of telling people about the induction so I'm sure I will get all those fun check ups from people asking if it's here yet. What was I thinking?!
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  • AmadorRoseAmadorRose member
    nikkinbonnie said:
    Oh man. I just found out my ILs will be here Monday instead of Wednesday or Thursday like they originally planned. They are driving across country and decided not to take it slow after all. LO is showing no signs of coming any time soon and DH is working long days M-W with the intention of taking off Thursday and Friday because that was when they were suppose to get here. He is self employed and yet his mother still asks "doesn't he get some kind of family leave?" It's impossible to explain to her that we can't cancel the appointments with customers M-W unless the baby comes (customers are aware baby might come). We certainly can't cancel them because you got bored on your cross country trip. And when I told her we didn't schedule any work for Thursday and Friday and the weekend so he could spend some time with family she said "Well you don't know baby will be here then either". No shit lady. Do you want him to take time off or not? We are the business owners and you don't know what you're talking about. She is so frustrating! She's a genuinely nice person mostly but she hates traveling and gets so grumpy. (So why schedule a two week road trip? Beyond me)

    I was really hoping to have this baby before they got here. Now I'll be stuck entertaining them while DH works. MIL even said "Well then you'll just have to show us all around the city while we wait."  Yeah, we'll see. Every other person in my life is asking what they can do for me since I'm 9 months pregnant but apparently this is a perfect time to play tour guide of a city my MIL won't even like. 

    Long rant. I'm grumpy at 9 months pregnant!
    Our ILs sound similar. If you're tired, tell her to entertain herself. It shouldn't be your job to entertain a grown woman who should, but likely won't, understand that you're probably too exhausted to actually do anything other than lay on your couch. 
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  • ashleymarie1027ashleymarie1027 member
    First time around, we waited to alert families until we checked in... No one lives nearby, but that gave DHs patents time to get in their car and start the 5 hour drive. My parents then booked a plane ticket and came two weeks later.

    Thus time, DHs parents haven been staying with us watching DS#1, and they will be here through next week (we were indiced on 4/13, baby arrived 4/14). It's actually great they are hear and staying with us because we're working through a nurse/suplimemt/pumping routine that takes two people... So it's great to have someone keep up with the toddler

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  • JayeSkylarJayeSkylar member
    I was with my parents when I went into labor. Because we were 20 minutes from my hospital they drove me. So they were with me the entire time. I believe bf told his parents after I was checked into the hospital. (They're 8 hours away). And just kept them updated. I don't care to be alone. And because I wanted to go all natural I welcomed all of the distraction my family provided. And those who waited the entire time were those who were told that they were welcome but most definitely didn't have to wait the entire time.
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  • zazouillezazouille member
    If the boys are with us (they are every other week), we'll call FIL to come stay with them (he lives about 45 minutes away). If not, we'll still call the ILs when I go into labor - they are super cool and respectful of privacy, and will wait until we tell them to come to the hospital to do so. I'll also call my mom and sister immediately - they live in another country so their support will only be virtual anyway. My mom will come visit about three weeks after the birth and stay for about two weeks. She is really helpful and easygoing so it shouldn't be stressful. My sister and the rest of my tiny family will meet babylove in person in July when we fly over to visit.
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  • amaniupendoamaniupendo member
    Didn't have time this round! Last time I let my parents know that I was having the baby that weekend so they could make the 10-hour drive. Sadly they didn't make it in time! 

    This is time we live far enough that they would have to fly. So it wouldn't have made a difference if I had told them before he was born that we were heading to the hospital.
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