BMW Monday

g0lightly8706 · April 2016

I need to vent so I'm sure others do too.. so let's be annoyed and bitch, moan, whine together!

My MIL is my latest annoyance. I am all for her looking after LO, however it just doesn't seem worth it to me. She wants me to drop LO off 20 minutes away at her house instead of her coming here. That would mean I would have to get LO ready, get all her stuff, jam pack my little car with all her things, and drive to her when in reality it is so much easier for her to come to me. But she doesn't drive cause god forbid she drive herself anywhere, because as my DH says, 'she just doesn't like to drive.' well, i don't like having to luge all my baby's stuff to her house because it's such a production.
Then when I tell DH all this, he gets offended and says 'well she just wants to help so you should let her' umm i'm sorry, i'd rather just stay home than deal with bringing my entire house over there. plus they think i want to do all this just to take a nap? um no, i'd rather just take 20 minute naps between LO's awake time than drive 40 mins total (and more if there's traffic) just to take a nap. It's just not worth it to me.. but they think i'm being too high maintenance? i think not.

beharrington · April 2016

g0lightly8706 said:

I need to vent so I'm sure others do too.. so let's be annoyed and bitch, moan, whine together!

My MIL is my latest annoyance. I am all for her looking after LO, however it just doesn't seem worth it to me. She wants me to drop LO off 20 minutes away at her house instead of her coming here. That would mean I would have to get LO ready, get all her stuff, jam pack my little car with all her things, and drive to her when in reality it is so much easier for her to come to me. But she doesn't drive cause god forbid she drive herself anywhere, because as my DH says, 'she just doesn't like to drive.' well, i don't like having to luge all my baby's stuff to her house because it's such a production.
Then when I tell DH all this, he gets offended and says 'well she just wants to help so you should let her' umm i'm sorry, i'd rather just stay home than deal with bringing my entire house over there. plus they think i want to do all this just to take a nap? um no, i'd rather just take 20 minute naps between LO's awake time than drive 40 mins total (and more if there's traffic) just to take a nap. It's just not worth it to me.. but they think i'm being too high maintenance? i think not.

I agree - not worth it for a nap. We do this every day but that's because my parents are our day care right now and it's worth it. But not for a nap.

g0lightly8706 · April 2016

@beharrington and see thats the thing, if it were an all day thing, sure i'd be willing to do it. but she only says '..for couple hours' and both her and DH say 'oh wouldn't it be great to get a nap in or run some errands?' i mean, yes it would be but not at the cost of driving back and forth thru town and traffic just for it.

charliegoldengirl · April 2016

I'm still bleeding at almost 7 weeks! Ugh. I called at six weeks and my midwife asked a bunch of questions and basically said I'm probably still bleeding from delivering a giant baby and to call again at 8. I'm so over it.

g0lightly8706 · April 2016

charliegoldengirl said:

I'm still bleeding at almost 7 weeks! Ugh. I called at six weeks and my midwife asked a bunch of questions and basically said I'm probably still bleeding from delivering a giant baby and to call again at 8. I'm so over it.

Omg you poor thing! Yeah I'd be very over it too. I hope it stops soon cause that's no fun at all

mamacastro · April 2016

^ Aunt Flo came back today after 6 weeks post baby - what a great way to start my week

Also @g0lightly8706 I feel you with the MIL issues. Mine keeps harrassing H to send me over to her house everyday with my two kids and sit at her house all day so she can "help" with my kids. First off I don't want to drive 15 mins away to be at her house all day so we can all be babysat. Secondly yes, I have a toddler and a newborn now which can be overwhelming and there are rough days but don't just assume I need help constantly or I can't take care of my kids myself. Can I get some credit geez? I am fine handling them myself I am more capable than she thinks

g0lightly8706 · April 2016

@mamacastro exactly! i mean i get theyre trying to help but it's not much help when we have to do all the work to make it happen.. and i totally know what you mean, kids are hard to handle sometimes but it's not like we need someone with us at every second of the day like MILs think we do, apparently.

mamacastro · April 2016

I don't mind the help I mean don't get me wrong I am grateful anyone wants to help at all but she expects me to take both kids and stay over there with them too all day until H comes home. Um ok? That means I can't go run errands or get anything at home done. She won't come over here at all so she can't be inconvienenced. That kind of just makes more trouble than its worth for me.

dtaded13 · April 2016

I'm a nanny for both of my sisters. I Came back to work at 6 weeks post baby so this is my 3rd week back. It's their spring break so I have all NINE kids (3 from one sister, 4 from the other, my 2) all day this week with NO school! Normally half of them are in school most of the day... It's only noon and I'm losing my mind. I have both babies down for a nap. Hoping they'll both sleep! I have a 9 week old, a 16 month old, two 5 year olds, a 6 yr old, a 8 year old, two 10 yr olds and a 12 yr old...

oh and my period started two days ago and is super heavy and uncomfortable!

And we're moving in 3 weeks!

And DH parents are coming to town this weekend. I love them, I'm just stressed with packing and cleaning... And all this after I get done with kids at 5pm...
ok whine done!

mamacastro · April 2016

@dtaded13 thumbs up, you're amazing! Hang in there

g0lightly8706 · April 2016

@mamacastro definitely! I'm all for help but that doesn't make sense at all.

@dtaded13 wow i'd be going crazy too! what a full house.. you got this though!

MississippiCatfish · April 2016

@charliegoldengirl Yes. This. I know that I've bled until 6 weeks with my other kids, too, but every time I get to this point and think, "WHEN IS IT GOING TO END!?" Kind of like being a week and a half overdue haha.

I'm sick of being so much heavier than my normal weight. I get really frustrated and down every time I try on a new pair of (maternity) pants and they still don't fit. I'm so much heavier this time than after my previous pregnancies, and I'm much more frustrated about it. I've been trying to give myself grace - I'm an emotional eater and my dad committed suicide when I was six months pregnant, right before the holidays...kind of a recipe for weight gain. Anyway, I still have 33 pounds to lose and I want to give up.

VitaLuna · April 2016

@MississippiCatfish I'm so sorry about your dad

I'm feeling you on getting down every time you try something on. My belly is way more floppy this time it seems, and i can't find any shirts I'm comfortable wearing that don't show my rolls.

My my whine is that H is going out of town for two days this week. DD1 is difficult in the evenings and usually we can split up with her and DD2 (who cries for around 3hrs every evening), but I'll be on my own. I'm dreading it. Mad props to those with multiple kids who have traveling spouses. I couldn't do it all the time.

kirkie928 · April 2016

@g0lightly8706 I wouldn't go for letting MIL "help" like that either. Why can't our MILs remember what it was like to be a mom to a newborn? Even when my MIL or mom come over to "help" they can't just do what you ask them to do, they just screw up the routine and make it harder.

@charliegoldengirl I'm so sorry you are still going through that, I hope you feel better soon.

@dtaded13 you must have the patience of a saint.

@mississippicatfish I think we are in the same boat for the weightloss. I've lost the weight I gained during pregnancy, but I'm 35 pounds away from what I consider my healthy weight. I'm also really sorry for your loss, unfortuately I know too well about that as well; My daddy died very suddenly one year ago Thursday. I hope people are letting you greive in your own way.

My own BMW is pretty selfish. My doctor told me to wait one week from getting my IUD to have sex with DH, and that would be today. Unfortunately I told DH what the doctor said the day of the appointment, so he is very excited about tonight. Here comes the selfish part: I'm terrified of actually having sex for the first time. Touch is his main love language so it is so important to him, but he would never pressure me. I could totally tell him not tonight and he would accept it, but it would break his heart.

blueberrymomma · April 2016

@MississippiCatfish I feel you about the weight gain. I'm excercising and trying to eat healthy but then I'm like "look mnm's and chips lets eat them all" it's like I have no self control

@g0lightly8706 that sounds like my DH when his mother is annoying me. She just lives down the street but it's still a pain to pack up two kids for a visit when she can walk to my house. I definitely wouldnt drive 40min for a nap. DH like she just wants to see the kids and I'm like she can come over whenever she wants

Id like to complain about this weather. SNOW?! Really? It's April and I'm ready for it to be at least 50 and sunny so I can go for walks with the kids and to the park. Also going from rain to snow to sunny and repeating really messes with my migraines and I just don't have time for that with 2 kids. (My migraine on Saturday had me in bed thank god DH was home to help but the 3 hours he wasn't was pure torture) Then everyone's posting about their warm spring breaks and I want to punch them lol

dtaded13 · April 2016

kirkie928 said:

@g0lightly8706 I wouldn't go for letting MIL "help" like that either. Why can't our MILs remember what it was like to be a mom to a newborn? Even when my MIL or mom come over to "help" they can't just do what you ask them to do, they just screw up the routine and make it harder.

@charliegoldengirl I'm so sorry you are still going through that, I hope you feel better soon.

@dtaded13 you must have the patience of a saint.

@mississippicatfish I think we are in the same boat for the weightloss. I've lost the weight I gained during pregnancy, but I'm 35 pounds away from what I consider my healthy weight. I'm also really sorry for your loss, unfortuately I know too well about that as well; My daddy died very suddenly one year ago Thursday. I hope people are letting you greive in your own way.

My own BMW is pretty selfish. My doctor told me to wait one week from getting my IUD to have sex with DH, and that would be today. Unfortunately I told DH what the doctor said the day of the appointment, so he is very excited about tonight. Here comes the selfish part: I'm terrified of actually having sex for the first time. Touch is his main love language so it is so important to him, but he would never pressure me. I could totally tell him not tonight and he would accept it, but it would break his heart.

Our method of birth control for now is just condoms. I was cleared at my appointment that was technically not even 6 weeks... It was like 5.5. Anyway, we just barely had sex a few days ago and baby is 9 weeks tomorrow

DH was understanding but anxious... It was actually perfect and didn't hurt at all! With my first it hurt a ton the first time and recovery was tougher this time so I was scared.

mrscammack · April 2016

I need to BMW about my weight issues! I cannot eat healthy and lose this baby weight to save my life and I hate looking in the mirror everyday! I know it's my own fault when I'm sitting eating chips with hubby at night after LO is asleep but after a long tiring day I just want to treat myself (way too much apparently). I think I'm only 15lbs down in 9 weeks and it's so disheartening I hope I can get my shit together before summer and drop some of this weight!!

hnull · April 2016

@mrscammack same here! I'm 5lbs from pp weight. however- when I got pregnant I weighed about 5lbs more than I normally do. Well, I eat crap- a soda a day almost (I never really drank soda before or during pregnancy, I eat cookies and candy every day now too:/. Plus I got a lot is stretch marks during my pregnancy so even though I'm 5lbs from my pp weight, those kill me. @MississippiCatfish uhg I hate weight issues- and really sorry to hear about your dad, I don't know how I would be able to handle that esp. being pregnant. I also wanted to say, I think awhile back you posted a photo of you and your three boys, and you looked fab!

MississippiCatfish · April 2016

Thanks ladies. It's nice to hear that there are others in the same boat, isn't it??

@vitaluna best of luck! My DH has gone on one work trip (5 nights) since DS was born. My mom came and stayed for a couple days and my in laws came and babysat one evening, so I had help, but it's still really hard!! It's just so unreasonable to expect a toddler to calm down and go to bed when their whole bedtime routine is being carried out in the same room as a screaming newborn! I definitely had to just let LO cry in his room for a bit every night while I did the last few minutes of the older boys' routines. Heartbreaking! I hope the days go quickly for you!

Vkrosa · April 2016

My nephews birthday was a few weeks after I had a csection and I sent a happy birthday on her FB page for him which a lot of others did and called and sang happy birthday. Other than that I really did forget to send a card or anything. Now my sister and I have an angry relationship to start with and now she is making it explode. Umm hello I have three kids one being an infant and I'm alone. I don't have someone here to help or to watch the kids while I drive to the mail boxes especially since I wasn't even allowed to drive at that point. She is posting crap on FB and talking to family members about me and what a crappy aunt I am to her kid. I'm so done with her drama. Ugh family sucks sometimes. The kicker is his birthday was the first week in March and she is just now bringing it up.

VitaLuna · April 2016

I could punch my husband right now. I'm trying to get our toddler ready for bed. The baby woke up screaming (he was holding her), so I told him to change her diaper and get her jammies on. 5 minutes later she's still screaming and I texted him a WTF. His reply? "There's 5 seconds left in the game". FFS. There's 5 seconds left in your life if you don't take care of the screaming baby.

ashton2190 · April 2016

Mine was from last week but I still wanted to share because I almost throat punched my DH. 5 minutes before LO's bedtime, she needed her diaper changed. Whatever. While he's changing it, he's talking to her and getting distracted by the tv. During this time, the baby has NO diaper on. So of course she takes the pee of her life and fills the changing pad. So we bring her upstairs to get her cleaned off and he put her down on the foam changing pad upstairs with a minky cover on it...which now has pee on it. So I take that off to wash tomorrow. Then I strip her soaking wet shirt off and realize she has pee in her hair. He tells me we can just wipe her off with a baby wipe and put her down. No fool, she's getting a bath now. So we're officially way past her bedtime putting her in the bath and then warming her up after and waiting for her hair to dry before putting her to bed. And by we I mean me because there was something stupid on tv that he just HAD to watch. Thank god she slept like a rock that night for 7 hours or I literally would have killed him

DrillSergeantCat · April 2016

Oh man...Sunday morning Harrison woke up at 2:30 and didn't go back to sleep until 5, Monday morning he woke up at 4:20 and didn't go back to sleep. My fiance decided to go back to bed at 4:45 because, in his opinion, it looked like the baby was about to go back to sleep. I'm not sure how he came to that conclusion since Harrison was wide eyed and looking around. Two nights in a row, I lost sleep and I was exhausted at work yesterday. I get home and his dog has chewed yet something else because he's bored, the floors haven't been mopped, and the laundry is still in the hamper to be folded and put away. Instead of folding the laundry or mopping the floors, he watched The Walking Dead; both of things could have been done while watching it.

He gets home and he knew I was upset and I told him that I deserved to come home and rest instead of coming home and having to do things he said he was going to do. I feed the baby who promptly falls asleep and has been asleep all evening so I'm psyching myself up for another sleepless night and the fiance tells me he "doesn't like my attitude." WTF? So I walked back to the bedroom to go to bed and, of course, now he's mad because I walked off.

We ended up working it all out and he stayed up on the couch because Harrison was asleep there and he didn't want to bother him by moving him. When he woke up in the middle of the night, the fiance fed him a bottle and put him back to sleep. So he's back in my good graces, but I feel like a bit of a dick.

dragonfly321 · April 2016

@DrillSergeantCat I wouldn't feel like a dick if I were you. You deserve rest too, and if it got the point across to him, then even better!

katieashley13 · April 2016

I just want to BMW about the fact that all my maternity clothes are too big and my regular clothes are too small.

Thank goodness for yoga pants and nursing tanks cause that's all I wear these days...

Vkrosa · April 2016

@katieashley13 omg yes I am going through the same thing!!!!!

smn14 · April 2016

@katieashley13 this! I'm wearing over bump maternity jeans with a baggy tummy bit!

mrsc12414 · April 2016

@katieashley13 this is so my struggle too ! Ugh

middy411 · April 2016

katieashley13 said:

I just want to BMW about the fact that all my maternity clothes are too big and my regular clothes are too small.

Thank goodness for yoga pants and nursing tanks cause that's all I wear these days...

This.

And why is my c section incision still open and moist at one spot 5 weeks later? Heal already!

blueberrymomma · April 2016

katieashley13 said:

I just want to BMW about the fact that all my maternity clothes are too big and my regular clothes are too small.

Thank goodness for yoga pants and nursing tanks cause that's all I wear these days...

Omg me too! It's so annoying. I don't have a butt to begin with so the maternity pants fall off. I finally broke down and bought some jeans at Maurice's. I can't recommend them enough! Super comfy, they're the jeggings and come in a lot of washes and colors. Bonus they're only $35 and are almost always buy one get one half off.
I'm going to reward myself with a nice pair of jeans when I lose this baby weight.

SarahChristine12 · April 2016

So we just had boy #4 and I don't know how many people have decided they need to inform me how lucky I am that we don't have a girl ("girls are so much harder to raise than boys", "girls are so much more dramatic", "at least you won't have to pay for the wedding", etc, etc). It's like they think that they need to make me feel better about it. Trust me people, we feel more than blessed to have 4 beautiful, healthy children regardless of whether boy or girl. Yes, I would have loved to have a girl, but I would not change a thing about my kids. We are more than happy with the family we have be blessed with.

Oh and I suppose this goes right along with the next very common question of "so, are you going to try for a girl?"

smn14 · April 2016

I'm sick of people assuming my little girl is a boy...if you're not sure, ask!!! She was wearing the PINK outfit pictured here today and a stupid man asked 'how old is your son' aaaaaaah! Might have to do a Rachel from friends and stick a bow on her head!

lilqt3929 · April 2016

@smn14 unfortunately it probably wont stop til she has a full head of hair. My DD had similar hair to yours until well after her first birthday. We had a man make a comment even with her wearing ruffles. It annoyed me but I stopped caring after a while and wouldn't even correct them. People can be so rude, even if its unintentional.

VitaLuna · April 2016

@smn14 you'll probably get over it after a while. People aren't very observant. My DD has a blanket with purple stars and people still called her a boy because they saw her blue shirt sticking out. Eh, whatever. Usually they're the embarrassed one.

blueberrymomma · April 2016

Yes it took until DD started waking (14 months) for the boy comments to stop. She'd be in her car seat with a pink coat, pink blanket, and big ole pink flower headband on and I'd get boy comments. You want to yell "are you stupid or blind" but you don't and eventually you learn to ignore it. I found it was mainly older people who made the comments

middy411 · April 2016

I just want to stop having pain in my nipples! I feel like everytime it gets close to feeding time for DD I cringe and have a hard time latching her bc I anticipate the pain. People kept saying it would get better and that this magical 6 week time period would leave me painless. She will be 6 weeks in two days and my nipples are bright red and angry. The left side especially bc the nipple isn't as long on that side. I'm trying to endure it til her mouth gets bigger and things get easier but this is no joke. I'm tired of comparing myself to friends who say "I was tender probably at least til I left the hospital". Excuse me what?! I was cracked and bleeding in the hospital and now I just want to survive each session. And of course, it's feeding time again

=caenis= · April 2016

@middy411
I also still have a fair amount of pain while breastfeeding, mainly when he first latches on. He's 5.5 weeks now. You aren't alone! It is better than it was because I'm sure he's latching correctly (so no more blisters on my nipples), but - like you - my nipples always look irritated. They do look a lot better after applying lanolin. Is that something you've tried? I'm guessing yes, but just in case. If I spread it on *really* thick just before a feeding, it really helps.

DrillSergeantCat · April 2016

@middy411 have you seen a lactation consultant?

middy411 · April 2016

@DrillSergeantCat I have seen a LC. I also go to a breastfeeding support group every Tuesday morning with two LC's on duty. Luckily, this week has been a lot better pain-wise. She can still inflict pain when she tugs and twists and pulls and pinches but the general latch and nursing is much less painful. I also have noticed my nipples are *less* sensitive in the shower. I'm not completely there yet but it's looking up! I really think I just needed more time than others to toughen up and the bigger DD gets, the less painful it will continue to be

mrsc12414 · April 2016

Lo will not sleep in her crib .. Even though she did so well two weeks ago with it .. Last week we put her back in basinette in our room she was sleeping so it was great now she won't even sleep in there . Dh says just put her in bed but he is a wild sleeper and I am not comfortable. I am back to work Sunday and my baby will not sleep

Actorr96 · April 2016

mrsc12414 said:

Lo will not sleep in her crib .. Even though she did so well two weeks ago with it .. Last week we put her back in basinette in our room she was sleeping so it was great now she won't even sleep in there . Dh says just put her in bed but he is a wild sleeper and I am not comfortable. I am back to work Sunday and my baby will not sleep

I feel you on that. Baby used to sleep in bassinet or rock n play next to bed but now she won't sleep unless in our bed. My SO is also a heavy/wild sleeper. I have my bed up against the wall, then pillows against wall for cushioning and baby between me in pillow and SO on other side. I'm in the middle and baby usually sleep on back or facing me. It's been a week doing this.

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