Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
ave1012
member
Second Miscarriage (Really just need to vent)
ave1012
member
I really just need to vent because at moment I feel alone in my grieving. I experienced my second miscarriage a few weeks ago and am just having a hard time. Background is that I had two uncomplicated pregnancies that became complicated in the end with emergency sections under anesthesia. I did not think that another child was on the table until last summer. I learned that I was pregnant while I was on birth control. A few days after I found out, I started bleeding and the MD on call at my doctors office was very insensitive about the whole situation. Needless to say, the outcome was not what was wanted and I went on the bleed for two months (I think partially because the pregnancy hormones and the birth control hormones). After the miscarriage, it was decided if nothing happened by February then we would be done due to several factors. In February I found out that I was pregnant again. I was really feeling positive about it. At 6 weeks, I started with bleeding with just wiping and went in that day for US. I could see the sac and a small glimmer of my tadpole. I never had symptoms of pregnancy which was not uncommon because I did not with my first two pregnancies, so I thought positive and that maybe it was just a little bleeding. I never even had cramping with the bleeding but a week later I passed tissue that I could tell was the pregnancy. I know that I am only a few weeks past but am still having a hard time. I think it is different this time because I saw the sac and the my baby and the bleeding was very quick compared to last time so I really feel just empty inside. I think I am also having a hard time because this was the last chance and now it is gone. I am VERY blessed to have two beautiful daughters who are healthy and wonderful and I know that some women would love to be able to just have one. I am very much counting my blessings just having a hard time. I think that it was difficult with the last miscarriage but the grieving was different because I had a constant reminder for two months so grief turned to anger at the constant reminder I had. This time it is all done and it just makes me sad. Thanks for anyone who reads this or lurks, I just needed to vent!!!
Re: Second Miscarriage (Really just need to vent)
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
I'm just a few weeks past my miscarriage as well. Every day is difficult...Especially the mornings. I wake up and have to remind myself that this is real life...It wasn't a bad dream...And then go on with my day. It's hard, but it is getting better...Slowly slowly slowly. To echo @BrightenMySky, just know that you aren't alone. I'll be thinking about you.
I'm very sorry for your losses. I also have 2 children. However, it took me 4 years to conceive my first, 1 year ( +2 losses) to conceive my second. We were ttc #3 and I had another very early loss and then less than a month ago another loss (blighted ovum). So, to sum up- 4 losses. More losses than living children. I love my kids and I'm very fortunate to have them but, don't feel like living children take away from your loss or lessen the grief. Anyway, I'm just saying I understand and can sympathize. Sometimes having kids makes me feel like I have "survivor's guilt".
Sorry. I'm rambling. Just know you're not alone (hugs).
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15