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pick up/put down sleep training

nrayyesnrayyes member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Hi there, I'm relatively new here. I have a 3.5 month old son, and my husband and I are starting to sleep train.  Our pediatrician recommends putting baby down in his crib calm, drowsy but awake, and picking him up when he cries; soothing him, then putting him back down. This sounds to me like Tracy Hogg's pick up/ put down method. I haven't read her book - I know she has a couple and I'm not sure which would be best to buy.  I was wondering if anyone else has used this method and if its worked for you?  I also have a question about it:  what if the baby falls asleep during one of the 'pick ups' in your arms?  (He falls asleep while you're soothing him and before you get the chance to put him down).  Is that a total failure!?  Thanks for any input! 
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Re: pick up/put down sleep training

  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    The whole point of sleep training is so they learn how to fall asleep on their own without your help so if he falls asleep in your arms it is defeating the purpose of the training a bit. I'd maybe try to rouse him slightly while putting him down or usually for me, my baby would wake up as soon as I put him back in the crib anyway. The PU/PD method didn't really work for us but I must admit I didn't stay consistent with it after a few days. Continually picking him up and putting him down would just completely frustrate him not to mention it was tiring for me and my husband (and my back!). That being said, since your baby is still pretty young, I wouldn't try any other sleep training method yet and probably just keep trying a gentle method like the one you're doing. I'd def recommend picking up the Hogg book and reading through it. 
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  • nrayyesnrayyes member
    Thanks. I agree, we need to try to make sure he falls asleep IN the crib. I can see how it can get exhausting and frustrating. I think we will try it for a week or so and see how it goes.  
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    TwizBeans said:

    I personally think 3.5 months is WAY too young for any sort of sleep training. I'm all for sleep training and I did it with both of my kids but never that young. Trust me, from experience, it's pointless that young because your LO isn't going to remember or learn from any of these methods until he's older. Right now you just have to hold him when he needs it and if he falls asleep in your arms then so be it. Also, keep in mind that your LO most likely will hit the big 4 month sleep regression soon and all this hard work will go out the window.

    If you want my honest opinion, "drowsy but awake" is garbage and not necessary in order to have a good sleeper. I think it's something really difficult for parents to figure out and then be successful at and it ends up just causing frustration.

    Listen to your Pedi when it comes to health related things but sleeping is something you have to figure out on your own, based on YOUR baby. The only thing that works when it comes to sleep is your child being the right age and consistency.


    May I ask what method you used?
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  • TwizBeansTwizBeans member
    kdoak2015 said:
    TwizBeans said:

    I personally think 3.5 months is WAY too young for any sort of sleep training. I'm all for sleep training and I did it with both of my kids but never that young. Trust me, from experience, it's pointless that young because your LO isn't going to remember or learn from any of these methods until he's older. Right now you just have to hold him when he needs it and if he falls asleep in your arms then so be it. Also, keep in mind that your LO most likely will hit the big 4 month sleep regression soon and all this hard work will go out the window.

    If you want my honest opinion, "drowsy but awake" is garbage and not necessary in order to have a good sleeper. I think it's something really difficult for parents to figure out and then be successful at and it ends up just causing frustration.

    Listen to your Pedi when it comes to health related things but sleeping is something you have to figure out on your own, based on YOUR baby. The only thing that works when it comes to sleep is your child being the right age and consistency.


    May I ask what method you used?


    I've honestly never even read a sleep training book.  These boards have taught me about different methods, but with my first kid it was really just trial and error!

    I did the same for both kids, so here it is:  (I had a general time frame for bedtime based off their tired cues) I would give a bottle in the rocking chair and when they were finished, whether awake or asleep, put them in the crib. On rare occasions they would stay asleep and I could sneak out but most of the time they would wake up and start crying. I rub their back, say I love you and leave the room. I give them 10-15 minutes then go back in, rub the back and walk out again. I never picked them up because that only made things worse. I stayed consistent with both kids and after a couple days it worked. They stopped freaking out and actually liked the crib.

    I don't believe sleep training, even leaving them to cry, is cruel because my child is fed, has a clean diaper and is clearly tired but just doesn't want to go to sleep. That's what babies do. They fight sleep. I'm not neglecting them, I'm teaching them. That's why they need to be a little older in order for anything to work.

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  • nrayyesnrayyes member
    TwizBeans said:

    I did the same for both kids, so here it is:  (I had a general time frame for bedtime based off their tired cues) I would give a bottle in the rocking chair and when they were finished, whether awake or asleep, put them in the crib. On rare occasions they would stay asleep and I could sneak out but most of the time they would wake up and start crying. I rub their back, say I love you and leave the room. I give them 10-15 minutes then go back in, rub the back and walk out again. I never picked them up because that only made things worse. I stayed consistent with both kids and after a couple days it worked. They stopped freaking out and actually liked the crib.


    What age were they when you did this? 


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  • nrayyesnrayyes member
    I think you have to do what works for you and your baby.  I don't think 3.5 months is too young for them to learn. Baby is learning new things every day! And with pu/pd, I'm never leaving him alone to cry. I'm there with him through the confusion and frustration. And I don't think pu/pd is any more confusing or frustrating than another method. I don't feel comfortable letting him cry in the crib and leaving the room, even for 5 min. (not at this age).  The last two nights, he has gone to sleep on his own in his crib at bedtime without a peep, after "playing" for a few minutes. So maybe it's working! The hard thing is naps, especially late afternoon naps. I think he is really tired and if we don't put him down at the right time, it's really difficult to get him to go to sleep on his own in the crib. But it's a work in progress. We'll stick with this for at least a few more days and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, we'll have to try something else!
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  • Knottie1442268460Knottie1442268460 member
    This is what we did. But never 10-15 min. Our therapist recommended 3 min. Then 5, 7,10, etc. and we sleep training bed at a MUCH older age than 3 mos. 
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  • TwizBeansTwizBeans member
    nrayyes said:
    TwizBeans said:

    I did the same for both kids, so here it is:  (I had a general time frame for bedtime based off their tired cues) I would give a bottle in the rocking chair and when they were finished, whether awake or asleep, put them in the crib. On rare occasions they would stay asleep and I could sneak out but most of the time they would wake up and start crying. I rub their back, say I love you and leave the room. I give them 10-15 minutes then go back in, rub the back and walk out again. I never picked them up because that only made things worse. I stayed consistent with both kids and after a couple days it worked. They stopped freaking out and actually liked the crib.


    What age were they when you did this? 



    Around 5 months.
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  • TwizBeansTwizBeans member
    nrayyes said:
    I think you have to do what works for you and your baby.  I don't think 3.5 months is too young for them to learn. Baby is learning new things every day! And with pu/pd, I'm never leaving him alone to cry. I'm there with him through the confusion and frustration. And I don't think pu/pd is any more confusing or frustrating than another method. I don't feel comfortable letting him cry in the crib and leaving the room, even for 5 min. (not at this age).  The last two nights, he has gone to sleep on his own in his crib at bedtime without a peep, after "playing" for a few minutes. So maybe it's working! The hard thing is naps, especially late afternoon naps. I think he is really tired and if we don't put him down at the right time, it's really difficult to get him to go to sleep on his own in the crib. But it's a work in progress. We'll stick with this for at least a few more days and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, we'll have to try something else!

    I do agree with some of this. Just know that your baby is going to go through some hefty regressions and sleep gets really yucky in the next month so your hard work might go out the window.
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  • jessjuhnkejessjuhnke member
    I generally put DS down when he is drowsy but not asleep. It actually seems like he stays asleep better that way. I swear everytime he falls asleep in my arms then is put down he wakes up within 20-30 minutes. We don't do cry it out but I will let him fuss alone for a few minutes if it's just fussing not actual crying.
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  • beccabeeeebeccabeeee member
    Personally, I think it's okay if he falls asleep in your arms and you still put him down. He's still so young and if that's what helps him sleep then I say just stick with it. I'm not really gunna give my opinion on the sleep training only because I believe every baby is different and they are going to sleep how they want to sleep. My DD will be 5 months this month but she went through the 4 month regression a little early and was up every hour sometimes sooner. I didn't actually start putting her in her crib until after that stopped. Not sure if this will be helpful but you can take the sheet that goes on his mattress and sleep on it a couple nights so it has your smell and then start putting him down in the crib. I started with naps first and then gradually put her down to sleep at night. I also stick to the bedtime routine, that seems to help. Even if it's a little late or we miss bath time I always move her back into her crib. During middle of the night feedings she's asleep before I even put her down but she goes right back to sleep. You can try both drowsy/awake or asleep/pd and see what works for him. I think it's really all just trial and error, your gunna just have to try out different things until you guys find something that works. I don't let her cry it out, if she's still half asleep and starts to fuss I will pay her lightly until she falls back asleep. It's just a way of comforting without picking her up. If it doesn't work then of course I just pick her up and rock her to sleep. Then I put her back down. Sometimes they just need that extra comfort before being put down again. Hope that was some help! 
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  • TwizBeansTwizBeans member
    beccabeeee said:
    Personally, I think it's okay if he falls asleep in your arms and you still put him down. He's still so young and if that's what helps him sleep then I say just stick with it. I'm not really gunna give my opinion on the sleep training only because I believe every baby is different and they are going to sleep how they want to sleep. My DD will be 5 months this month but she went through the 4 month regression a little early and was up every hour sometimes sooner. I didn't actually start putting her in her crib until after that stopped. Not sure if this will be helpful but you can take the sheet that goes on his mattress and sleep on it a couple nights so it has your smell and then start putting him down in the crib. I started with naps first and then gradually put her down to sleep at night. I also stick to the bedtime routine, that seems to help. Even if it's a little late or we miss bath time I always move her back into her crib. During middle of the night feedings she's asleep before I even put her down but she goes right back to sleep. You can try both drowsy/awake or asleep/pd and see what works for him. I think it's really all just trial and error, your gunna just have to try out different things until you guys find something that works. I don't let her cry it out, if she's still half asleep and starts to fuss I will pay her lightly until she falls back asleep. It's just a way of comforting without picking her up. If it doesn't work then of course I just pick her up and rock her to sleep. Then I put her back down. Sometimes they just need that extra comfort before being put down again. Hope that was some help! 

    Great advice.
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  • 4N6s4N6s member
    I started doing this at 2 months. I would put her down sleepy, but awake and she has fallen asleep on her own without crying. She doesn't really cry in general, so it has worked out really well. If she does start to fuss, I pick her up, get her sleepy again and put her down. It has worked out really well for us. 
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  • korpatchkorpatch member
    Wow... According to you all, we started sleep training way too early! My poor little guy likes to fight sleep. (Usually just for naps) He'd cry if you left him in his crib, he'd cry if you'd rock him, no matter what, he'd cry. Sometimes I'd have to let him cry in his crib for a really long time (15min or so) then rock him to sleep. 
    Now at 16 weeks, he's great! I tried the "Baby whisperer" stuff. I loved the book and all its practicality, However, it just didn't work for us.
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  • ladylolly89ladylolly89 member
    korpatch said:
    Wow... According to you all, we started sleep training way too early! My poor little guy likes to fight sleep. (Usually just for naps) He'd cry if you left him in his crib, he'd cry if you'd rock him, no matter what, he'd cry. Sometimes I'd have to let him cry in his crib for a really long time (15min or so) then rock him to sleep. 
    Now at 16 weeks, he's great! I tried the "Baby whisperer" stuff. I loved the book and all its practicality, However, it just didn't work for us.
    Same here...apparently "too early"! We first tried at 6 weeks and it didn't go all that well; attempted again at 8 and it went much better and has stuck so far (DS is going on 15 weeks now). Granted, we may lose some of that if he goes through the 4-month regression, but it honestly wasn't much work to "train" him and at least it has given us a couple of easier months! 
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  • korpatchkorpatch member
    ladylolly89 said:
    korpatch said:
    Wow... According to you all, we started sleep training way too early! My poor little guy likes to fight sleep. (Usually just for naps) He'd cry if you left him in his crib, he'd cry if you'd rock him, no matter what, he'd cry. Sometimes I'd have to let him cry in his crib for a really long time (15min or so) then rock him to sleep. 
    Now at 16 weeks, he's great! I tried the "Baby whisperer" stuff. I loved the book and all its practicality, However, it just didn't work for us.
    Same here...apparently "too early"! We first tried at 6 weeks and it didn't go all that well; attempted again at 8 and it went much better and has stuck so far (DS is going on 15 weeks now). Granted, we may lose some of that if he goes through the 4-month regression, but it honestly wasn't much work to "train" him and at least it has given us a couple of easier months! 
    Four month regression is awful! We hit it early! We actually slept through the night last night! Not expecting it to be a normal thing though.
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