I know I've posted this previously, but I'm doing it again b/c it doesn't seem to stop. My mil has done this, cousin and a lady at church! The last time my mil was over, I kept my arms over my belly. She got the message. My cousin, I told him no, he didn't get it, so as I backed up my H said "you aren't touching the baby, you are touching her." And I was thinking "YES!" Lady at church: I actually haven't been back I was so creeped out. I kind of want to go back, bit I'm scared of more belly touches. I swear she was like a ninja, not there one second, then there the next. @_@
@ahernandez16 I was super confused at first about where this thread came from and how it got to two pages without my having noticed it. Then I looked at the dates.
@ahernandez16 & @MynaBird: I've lurked on the board for a while and I chat with my husband about what I'm reading and how I relate. Finally he said, "You know, if you relate, you could share your thoughts and feelings there too. That's what a forum is for right? Sharing, support, and learning." Duh haha, guess I'm just a little late!
@ahernandez16 & @MynaBird: I've lurked on the board for a while and I chat with my husband about what I'm reading and how I relate. Finally he said, "You know, if you relate, you could share your thoughts and feelings there too. That's what a forum is for right? Sharing, support, and learning." Duh haha, guess I'm just a little late!
It felt super awkward the first few times I contributed too. I'm more impressed that you lurked so far back and didn't just start a new thread so you're totally fine.
I hope you stick around! We're some pretty awesome ladies if I do say so myself.
@vintagevix86I think even though it's an old thread, it's still relevant, even more so now that we are getting bigger. I don't have a huge problem with people rubbing my bump, mainly because only my mother and husband do. My friend did the other day, but it was her moms funeral and if rubbing my belly made her smile, I have no problem letting her do it all day. Otherwise, I don't like to be touched in general. I hug people when it's appropriate, but really, I only like touching my Hubby and fur babies.
My belly rub deterrent is when I see someone going in for the rub I put my hands where I think theirs will land, and keep moving them with theirs, hand-eye coordination is key. You can touch my hands allllllllllll day, bitches!
I am so effing over this BS. There's a gal at work I've really never cared for & she's getting threatened with HR notification next time it happens. I've told her it bothers me, I've told her it fits the legal definition of "assault" & I've physically removed her hands from my body. Her response is to just shrug her shoulders & giggle.
@ahernandez16, I guess I figured there's no need to "reinvent the wheel" by starting a new one.
Quick update! My husband spoke with his Mom over the phone last night and at one point said something to the effect of, "By the way, please don't touch her belly anymore. If you're invited to do so, that's entirely different but you weren't and you didn't ask either. You just went for it. It makes her uncomfortable when people just randomly do it without asking." She apparently got a bit indignant, "Well I'm not JUST anybody, I'm FAMILY!" To which he responded, "Mom, she doesn't even let HER family touch her belly without an invitation first. Just think about it....how would you feel if someone, friend or family, just walked up to you and started rubbing your stomach?" "Well I wouldn't like it, obviously." "Then why is this any different? It's her body and her belly." So hopefully that will stop the belly rubs in the future. I feel kinda like an a@@ about it but I'm glad it's all resolved (hopefully).
@ahernandez16, I guess I figured there's no need to "reinvent the wheel" by starting a new one.
Quick update! My husband spoke with his Mom over the phone last night and at one point said something to the effect of, "By the way, please don't touch her belly anymore. If you're invited to do so, that's entirely different but you weren't and you didn't ask either. You just went for it. It makes her uncomfortable when people just randomly do it without asking." She apparently got a bit indignant, "Well I'm not JUST anybody, I'm FAMILY!" To which he responded, "Mom, she doesn't even let HER family touch her belly without an invitation first. Just think about it....how would you feel if someone, friend or family, just walked up to you and started rubbing your stomach?" "Well I wouldn't like it, obviously." "Then why is this any different? It's her body and her belly." So hopefully that will stop the belly rubs in the future. I feel kinda like an a@@ about it but I'm glad it's all resolved (hopefully).
Don't feel bad. She was doing something that you were uncomfortable with. Some people seem to think if they are "family" they have special privileges or that common etiquette rules don't apply to them. Set those boundaries now and keep them up.
I'm so not a toucher. At all. I work with pretty much all women and they all tried for belly rubs when they'd see me. I got really good at side-stepping and maneuvering out of the way, thankfully 90% of them were totally cool when I asked them for a little warning pre-touch. I mentioned the worst one in another post here, I'd worked with her all of twice and was barely showing when she found out I was pregnant, she used to walk up and start massaging my belly to try and get him to move. I was clearly uncomfortable with it and finally had to point blank tell her to stop it because it was fucking creepy and she got SUPER offended. Like, complained to a manager offended. But she's been fired so not my chairs, not my problem.
I'm so not a toucher. At all. I work with pretty much all women and they all tried for belly rubs when they'd see me. I got really good at side-stepping and maneuvering out of the way, thankfully 90% of them were totally cool when I asked them for a little warning pre-touch. I mentioned the worst one in another post here, I'd worked with her all of twice and was barely showing when she found out I was pregnant, she used to walk up and start massaging my belly to try and get him to move. I was clearly uncomfortable with it and finally had to point blank tell her to stop it because it was fucking creepy and she got SUPER offended. Like, complained to a manager offended. But she's been fired so not my chairs, not my problem.
She sounds looney tunes. What could she possibly say to the manager. "Oh I am so mad at Heather, she yelled at me for touching her pregnant belly!"
@huskypuppy14 that was basically it, that and that I was always mean to her and was bossing her around. I was her supervisor and she was usually so strung out that I either had to tell her to do something 8 times, then watch her do it and correct her as she went along, or just accept that I'd be doing her work for her. Do. Not. Miss.
Re: Belly Rub!
I know I've posted this previously, but I'm doing it again b/c it doesn't seem to stop. My mil has done this, cousin and a lady at church! The last time my mil was over, I kept my arms over my belly. She got the message. My cousin, I told him no, he didn't get it, so as I backed up my H said "you aren't touching the baby, you are touching her." And I was thinking "YES!"
Lady at church: I actually haven't been back I was so creeped out. I kind of want to go back, bit I'm scared of more belly touches. I swear she was like a ninja, not there one second, then there the next. @_@
It felt super awkward the first few times I contributed too. I'm more impressed that you lurked so far back and didn't just start a new thread so you're totally fine.
I hope you stick around! We're some pretty awesome ladies if I do say so myself.
No stranger has ever touched me and I would punch them if they did haha. You can't just go touching strangers!
Otherwise, I don't like to be touched in general. I hug people when it's appropriate, but really, I only like touching my Hubby and fur babies.
Quick update! My husband spoke with his Mom over the phone last night and at one point said something to the effect of, "By the way, please don't touch her belly anymore. If you're invited to do so, that's entirely different but you weren't and you didn't ask either. You just went for it. It makes her uncomfortable when people just randomly do it without asking." She apparently got a bit indignant, "Well I'm not JUST anybody, I'm FAMILY!" To which he responded, "Mom, she doesn't even let HER family touch her belly without an invitation first. Just think about it....how would you feel if someone, friend or family, just walked up to you and started rubbing your stomach?" "Well I wouldn't like it, obviously." "Then why is this any different? It's her body and her belly." So hopefully that will stop the belly rubs in the future. I feel kinda like an a@@ about it but I'm glad it's all resolved (hopefully).