May 2016 Moms
Pomegranate1983
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Screen Time
Pomegranate1983
member
This may be premature in thinking about and asking but it's something I've been giving some thought to and I'd like to hear other people's opinions. I know there is a lot of research out there on too much/little TV is for babies. I have also done a search on the bump for previous discussions on screen time and what I've found is it really depends on the parents and what they think or what needs to get done (put TV on to do some housework or cook or just have quiet time). Some limit screen time, others don't necessarily limit it, per say, but may screen what is being watched, and still others don't really have any rules.
I've been thinking about this because I have friends/family who have children and they all different theories on screen time. Someone I know has the TV on most of the day and the dad is a stay at home dad so their 9 month old daughter is exposed to whatever is on all the time. The couple shared how her favorite shows are The Simpsons and the Andy Griffith Show. Another couple limits TV time but also has their 9 month old daughter watching their iphone throughout the day. This couple has also put a TV in her playroom. Another couple doesn't really limit TV but screens what their children (5 year old and 3 year old) watch and they also watch and play video games. My Dad also told me how he took some time off when we were babies to be home with us and he would watch soaps during the day, since that is all that was on.
DH and I decided we will only have the one family TV in the living room and no other TVs in the house. DH is a gamer and I told him I'm really not comfortable having DD watching the video games he plays, at any age, as some are really violent. I'm fine if he plays while she's napping, with me, or he is having some guy time with his buddies. He completely agrees with me. I'm not anti-TV but I also don't want it on in the background just to have it on. Or, even as a newborn and as DD grows up, to have it on while she is having playtime or "quality time" with us and have that distract her/us from really playing, talking, and interacting with her and using her imagination. I feel like as children grow up, they gradually get more and more glued to screens (phones, computers, TVs), sometimes out of necessity (computers and laptops for school) and sometimes not (texting, internet surfing, gaming, watching cartoons/TV/movies) and I don't want to start that at an earlier age.
Has anyone else thought or talked about this with their spouses/significant others and what are your thoughts? I realize everyone will be different and I'm not asking this question to judge anyone. I'm just curious as to what other people think and what they plan to do.
Edited to fix grammar
I've been thinking about this because I have friends/family who have children and they all different theories on screen time. Someone I know has the TV on most of the day and the dad is a stay at home dad so their 9 month old daughter is exposed to whatever is on all the time. The couple shared how her favorite shows are The Simpsons and the Andy Griffith Show. Another couple limits TV time but also has their 9 month old daughter watching their iphone throughout the day. This couple has also put a TV in her playroom. Another couple doesn't really limit TV but screens what their children (5 year old and 3 year old) watch and they also watch and play video games. My Dad also told me how he took some time off when we were babies to be home with us and he would watch soaps during the day, since that is all that was on.
DH and I decided we will only have the one family TV in the living room and no other TVs in the house. DH is a gamer and I told him I'm really not comfortable having DD watching the video games he plays, at any age, as some are really violent. I'm fine if he plays while she's napping, with me, or he is having some guy time with his buddies. He completely agrees with me. I'm not anti-TV but I also don't want it on in the background just to have it on. Or, even as a newborn and as DD grows up, to have it on while she is having playtime or "quality time" with us and have that distract her/us from really playing, talking, and interacting with her and using her imagination. I feel like as children grow up, they gradually get more and more glued to screens (phones, computers, TVs), sometimes out of necessity (computers and laptops for school) and sometimes not (texting, internet surfing, gaming, watching cartoons/TV/movies) and I don't want to start that at an earlier age.
Has anyone else thought or talked about this with their spouses/significant others and what are your thoughts? I realize everyone will be different and I'm not asking this question to judge anyone. I'm just curious as to what other people think and what they plan to do.
Edited to fix grammar
Re: Screen Time
DS is 22 months old. We limit TV time as much we can. Some days the TV isn't turned on at all. Other days, I have to let him watch a few episodes of Paw Patrol or we will all lose our shit (especially being pregnant, it seems). It's never for hours and hours at a time but it happens. We occasionally have family movie night too, but we are interacting while watching.
As far as phones and ipads go, he has always been much more interested because everyone just always seems to have their phone around. He knows how to go to different apps on our devices and play music for himself. So, we have to limit those (and hide our phones). But I do let him play around with it now and then if I'm really struggling.
I think it is about balance. I would be much more concerned if he wasn't hitting his milestones, but he's doing great so...
For me right now with no kids and just this LO on the way.. I am one who always has the TV while I'm home, if I'm cooking/cleaning I like it for background noise. This will probably not change when LO is born but I will not have her in direct contact with the TV nor will the volume even be up loud. With that being said when LO is older I plan to limit her time with TV or games/iphones, etc. I want her to be more occupied with books, toys, etc. As she grows up we will determine how much TV time we allow. I just know I don't want her obsessed with TV and anything with a bright screen!
It is something that I have become flexible on, but have a few non-negotiable rules. First, no TV or screens an hour before bed. Second, only one DVD or 2 episodes of any show a day. Third, no TV during the daylight unless it is a special circumstance (like we are home sick etc). This one I made up as the weather started to get nicer and I wanted us to get outside more instead of just flipping on the TV. It does not apply to using the Nabi to watch his Elmo potty video. In fact, the Nabi has a permanent home in the bathroom and that is really all we use it for now anyways. And no video games at our house. MH needs to wait until my son is asleep and I think we will hold off as long as we can before my son gets to play himself.
Even these "set-in-stone" rules will change as our children grow and technology becomes more prevalent. I think it is most important to make sure that you and your SO are on the same page and have a reason behind your restrictions and allowances so it isn't random or arbitrary.
I believe there was a much earlier post on this too, I'll try to search for it and link it.
Moderation is a great tool in all aspects of life, including this one.
And one last thought, I do think it makes sense to try to avoid exposing babies to more mature content from the beginning, even if they are too young to understand it.
Edited to to add I haven't read the studies on this. I just know that one day something is released saying screen time is good and educational and the best it's the devil. It's like coffee- one day it's good for us and the next day it causes cancer.
I am, however, against gaming for kids of any age. I've seen kids who rush home and that's ALL they want to do. After school, on the weekends, etc. Of course that is up to how the parents want to limit but I don't want it in our house ever really. I strongly believe that kids NEED to exert physical energy to be better behaved and above all else, healthier.
For us, DH can easily get sucked into gaming for screen time and for me, it's Netflix. I don't want DD to be a couch potato. And I know DH and I will need to talk about how we want to approach this so we don't find ourselves sitting around. I am the more active one and push to get both of us out but I want us to be on the same page right from the start. I agree that it will be about balance and there will be days we'll do TV and some days we won't. Also, I like how @lest12 pointed out, so long as they are hitting their milestones, it isn't something to be overly concerned about.
We do recognize though that technology is becoming more and more prevalent in life, so as time goes on we want to introduce it, but keep a healthy balance so that hopefully she can recognize that while it's sometimes good and fun you can't always be attached to the tv, computer, phone, tablet, etc and that moderation is key.
DS will watch certain things but others, he has no interest in.
I did not like, however, when he started throwing a tantrum (ah, the terrible two's starting early
You sometimes have to adjust as you go, you know?
In an ideal world he would never watch anything but life doesn't work like that. Grandma used Disney movies a couple times when he was a baby to distract him if we dropped him off but apart from that we didn't have screens out until about 15 months. It was for a long road trip. And honestly he wasn't that interested - it was something we tried. However past 18 months he would use the iPad for some apps that would have letters or numbers or books. And he would watch some shows on PBS. Now he is four and we sometimes watch more than we should as I am exhausted and it still isn't that nice out regularly. Honestly I feel like because of the programs he watches he actually has learned a lot. Same thing with the apps I let him have. They reinforce things he learns at daycare or teach him real facts.
I wanted to add a big part of our conversation is how important it is to lead by example. So many adults are guilty of mindlessly "checking" their phones and spending so much unnecessary time on their devices. Kids will pick up on that and it's important to practice what you preach. We are going to be very conscientious about limiting OUR screen time with our kiddos... not just theirs.
I really liked the idea that one of our OT therapists gave us: when she and her hubby get home from work, they spend about 6pm to 8pm without any technology - and just spend time with their daughter. then, they can go online, on their phones, watch tv. This doesn't work for our family because DH gets home at 8pm, and the twins are asleep. DH does veg on his computer a lot on the weekends, and I'm always nagging him to turn it off and be present with the girls. The distracted parenting generation freaks me out. Kids need eye contact with their parents!!
Mama to Three Girls:
Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor
and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
DD is almost 3 now and we do let her watch some tv in moderation. She's only allowed to watch certain shows and only when we say it's okay. We have never let her play games or watch anything on our phones or iPads. She would watch Mickey Mouse clubhouse on tv all day long if we let her, but we obviously don't. She is pretty well behaved and can go in public without a device in her hand. If we are at a restaurant she will happily color. If we are at the doctor's office she will read books. If we are at a store we will talk the whole time. We've been on a 10 hour road trip and she did perfectly fine without technology.
Obviously do what's best for your family, but don't feel like you have to resort to technology to get your child to behave. They can learn to be occupied by other things. I've also let DD watch more tv when I'm having particularly rough days and not feeling well, because she'll sit down with me rather than be upset because she thinks I don't want to play with her. It is helpful in situations like that!
Technically, the research tends to indicate a correlation with exposure to television before age 7 (I believe 4 hours plus, but I could be wrong) and ADHD. That includes tv shoes that are educational like Seseme Street or shows that encourage interaction like Blues Clues. I'm a total tv junkie but DH and I have agreed that once baby can turn their head we will limit screen time. We're thinking right now none during the week and mostly family movies and educational shows on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. DH plays video games so that will be included in our screen time. I did download some educational/bible apps for LO when he's a little older.
I'm a teacher, and I can tell you it's pretty easy to tell the kids who just sit in front of screens all day and the kids who have parents interact with their kids or encourage them to go outside.
I Also wanted to say you should think about your screen time when baby isn't with you. We had a student in my class who said he wanted to rape another (female) student. Dad says he learned the word from forensic files- which dad watched after he thought his son was in bed.
DH likes video games and is excited about showing LO Mario games when she's older. We've talked already about when that happens putting limits on the time so that way she isn't sitting there playing video games all day and can balance between playing outside and that.
Im nervous though because since I was younger I've always needed the tv on to fall asleep due to hating silence and also not liking the dark. I'm hoping to figure out a plan because I don't want the tv on at night when LO is sleeping in our room in the beginning
If we watch a TV program we are very intentional about it and watch it together, mainly cooking shows without commercials, then off it goes. We didn't expose baby to any TV. It wasn't until the toddler years we introduced some media, in small doses, watched together, no commercials. We live on acreage so we are usually too busy outside to mess with TV. My toddler's favorite thing is a dirt pile. So simple at this age
We do have an iPad but it only has a few learning apps and its primary use is for traveling in a plane (the whole reason we got it, we didn't have to have it in the first year but after that there were situations where it made a huge difference when in a plane travel situation).
Oh and this is coming from a couple who had a TV in the bedroom and watched it for hours every night for years (put it on sleep timer). We had several TV's in the house. After we had a baby, after the newborn cluster days the TV in our bedroom was gone and we now only have one TV in our home in the main living area.
That TV is mostly used for background music. We let our toddler pick the Pandora stations (for instance bluegrass, blues, toddler stuff, native flutes, classical, seasonal, etc.) and listen to a wide variety of music that way.
In regard to the newborn days the baby stayed in our room so I couldn't have the volume up too loud when I watched TV programs or it would bother the baby. I tried headphones but they became annoying (where are they, are they charged, if I fell to sleep they were annoying, didn't want baby teething on them, etc.). I quit watching TV at night because it did bother the baby (all the lights I guess) even when I dimmed the screen and had headphones or closed captions on. After awhile it just became not worth it and sat collecting dust until we removed it from the room. I don't have to fall to sleep with the TV in the background anymore as I did for years and years, although I would again happily, just not in this baby/toddler/young kids stage of life.
As long as we aren't having family time, eating, trying to get ready to leave, going to bed soon, playing at the park, or riding in the car DD1 has access to the Kindle Fire as well as my phone. She watches Elsa/Ana videos, plays puzzles, sing song apps, Sesame Street apps, etc. Technology isn't going away. The private school we're looking to send DD to is half textbook and half IPad taught. I'd rather her be comfortable and learn now a basic understanding for how that kind of stuff works so she doesn't have a harder time once she starts school in a year and a half to 2 years. I don't let it rule her life and she doesn't seem to want to take that attitude either. I might be a little more strict or standoffish if she didn't show an interest in being physically active or in reading an actual book but we don't have that issue.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
When I moved in with my now-husband, he didn't have a TV. I didn't like it at first, but now I'm used to it. We have a screen that we watch movies and Netflix on, but it takes a lot more effort to watch TV and it's never on just for background noise. We play music or it's just quiet. I must say, the no-TV thing practically *created* hours in the day for me. I never realized how much time I spent vegging out watching TV. Don't get me wrong, I still veg out, but I guess I lose less time mindlessly watching TV.
All that being said, I do think we have an iPad problem. We are both news junkies and read waaaaayyyyy too much news on our iPads. WE keep talking about how we don't want our LO to see us with our noses in our screens, so we've made some rules (for now): No iPads in the bedroom and over meals. That has helped us some. I'm hoping to not look at my phone/iPad while nursing, etc.
DH is really musical (he plays a bunch of instruments) so we often have music on in the house and my hope is that I can enjoy the music instead of the TV when nursing or playing with him, etc.
DS: Born 5-17-16
Lately preparing to go out there 9 months pregnant is like a pregnant person Olympics: make sure toddler is well fed beforehand (if snack contained carbs or sugar - brush toddler teeth), chase toddler to get on clothes that can get really dirty, help toddler put on said clothes, socks, boots, make sure toddler has used the potty, prepare water bottles for outside, locate and apply sunscreen, sunhat, and bug spray to toddler (who really doesn't like the sunscreen or spray, and sometimes the hat either). Get dirt/sand toys out of garage and ready for LO, prepare a chair for myself that I can prop my legs but still have chase LO around so constant up and down...
Although we went to the dentist this morning and they just give out iPads to all the kids waiting (is this a thing now?). I was kind of proud that DS opted to color and play with toys when every other kid had an iPad, but I know that next visit he might prefer the iPad, and that's ok too.
ive taken to starting most conversations with "I can only say this with my FTM hat on, which means I'm probably wrong"