Baby shower etiquette

n&a2013 · April 2016

Two of my best friends and my mom are wanting to throw me a shower. I would prefer not to split it up and have multiple showers since I'm expecting twins. I would like to have one big one around 28-30 weeks since I'm most likely going to be huge and uncomfortable. I plan to help with decorations, food expenses and the place we are having it is free of charge (work perk of my moms). My list is about 60-65 people. A lot of them are from out of town, even though I know they won't show up, they are family and will be angry if I don't extend the invite. Is 60-65 too many to invite and is having it between 28-30 weeks too early??

bsckgb7 · April 2016

General rule is not invite people from out-of-town if you know for a fact they won't make the commute. I don't see see any reason you can't have it around 28-30 weeks (especially since you don't know what will happen with twins).

JournoGrl23 · April 2016

DH and I both have huge extended families who will all be expecting an invite whether they can make it or not. We're having two showers (2 friends and DH's step mom are throwing one and we'll have 50-60 at that one; then DH's mom is throwing one where maybe 30 or so will come). So I don't think that's too many to invite.

n&a2013 · April 2016

Thanks ladies. I typically wouldn't invite the out of towners, but they are all on my hubs side of the family and I will literally NEVER hear the end of it. Made that mistake on my bridal shower. I know they won't show up but it's my peace offering I guess to get them to shut up about my bridal shower over 3 years ago! Lol!

tmk0325 · April 2016

I'm in the same boat. We are having mine at 29 weeks (also twins) and it is being thrown by my SIL, cousin (offered to host at her golf course), and SO's two sisters. They all know each other, but are having a bit of a hard time coordinating. I also only wanted one large shower and will probably be inviting 75 people or so as we have HUGE extended families. Only about 12 of those are non-family members. I am inviting aunts and a few cousins that are out of state, otherwise everyone is in state. I would rather invite them all and give them the option in case they were thinking about coming home or wanted to send a gift. Plus I don't want them to feel left out.

tmk0325 · April 2016

Also I should note with twins, I'm wondering if 29 weeks is too late?! I have read a lot of twin moms feel pretty out of it by then or have gone into labor! We are going to attempt it though.

bearsandbeets7 · April 2016

I have a friend who is pregnant with twins and she just had her shower this weekend. She is 30 weeks I believe and she honestly didn't look too incredibly big. I think you would be fine having it at 29 weeks but I have no personal experience.

JLyn821 · April 2016

I don't think there's anything wrong with inviting out-of-towners. And I've never heard of it being poor etiquette.

Also, 60-65 sounds like a good size. I only had one shower and that was the size of our guest list. I've been to some even bigger.

Having it earlier makes complete sense when you're having twins. My shower was when I was 32 weeks because I wanted the nursery to be completely finished and ready by 38 weeks.

tresamigos · April 2016

@tmk0325 I'm having one of my showers at 31 weeks and am also kind of worried it's pushing it.

SkiChic626 · April 2016

I'm pretty sure close to 90 ppl were invited to mine, we ended up with 65. The timing seems fine. I also think it's ok to invite out of town ppl, we did and do because since of our family in TX never invite us to stuff like this and we're always like wtf...If we were invited we might have made a trip and/or sent a gift, so we always invite them.

lilpinky7878 · April 2016

I am helping with mine. Going do it at 29 weeks due to the summer is going be to hot for prego lol. We are doing co-ed my husband family is 8 guys, for me that won't be right to not included them. I think we are inviting 100 but guss about 50 to come due to being out of state. We are also having at a firehouse perk of an father

ShanRum3 · April 2016

My Sprinkle is being thrown by 2 of my SIL, and my MIL, with help from my step mom, We are having a coed Baby Q and have a small guest list, around 30 people, but I know maybe half of them will come. Since this is our 3rd baby, (our other 2 are 6 and 11) I wanted it kept simple and a more family oriented party, so we aren't inviting anyone who isn't a close friend or family member. I only invited 2 people who will have to travel (about 2 hours) to get there, and that's my sisters. The only thing that concerns me is that I'll be 1 day shy of 36 weeks when we have this shindig. Basically my SIL who is hosting, is busy every weekend in June, and the first half of July. Thank goodness I have a history of going FULL TERM. and that's what I'm banking on!

kwilliams3402 · April 2016

My mom, grandmother, and sister are throwing a shower for me the last weekend of May, and I'll be 30 weeks. The shower will be 3.5-5 hours away (Austin to Dallas, Texas traffic can be very unpredictable), and I said I wanted it before 36 weeks, and they were busy in June. I should be plenty big by then, and hopefully it's not too early, but if it is, will people really tell me that rudely? I doubt it. Same thought on yours, and I feel like with twins, you get a lot of free passes on "normal" etiquette!

charmedlifex3 · April 2016

My girls are throwing my shower the second to last week in may. One of my best friends is having surgery in early June, and wanted to have the shower either before she went out or after she was 100%. So that meant either late July, or mid May. I wasn't comfortable with 37 weeks, so we went with the weekend before memorial day. I'll be 28 ish weeks, and that is fine by me.

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