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December 2015 Moms
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Just a few new things.

andreaAL11andreaAL11 member
in December 2015 Moms
I just needed to share with someone how I was feeling since my XH left to Saudi....
I'm so sad that he left. I miss him and DD literally hit like 3 milestones in the past three days. She's laughing, babbling, and she just started reaching for things. I'm sad he's missing this. He was such an amazing dad. I know he is heartbroken and that breaks my heart. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and fix whatever went wrong when it first started. Maybe then we would be a great happy family. 

I know im going to be okay, I have a great support system. My only worry is him. His family basically ostracized him for marrying an American girl and having a child out of "sin" in Islam. (We were not married the traditional Muslim way). So he went back to them with his tail between his legs. And it's sad to me. Will he be okay? Will he feel whole again? 

I know now most of you know my story and think he's a bad person because of what I said about him. And he had his flaws yes, but when someone is in such a dark and sad place how can I blame him. But he really is the person who picked me up when I was in the last (probably days) of my life. He saved me. And I destroyed him. He is such a great person inside. So fun and happy and goofy and he deserves the world. 

Im sorry, I'm trying to vent it all out. This is hard. Harder than I actually thought. The amount of guilt and sadness is unreal. 

Thank you for listening. 

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Re: Just a few new things.

  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    I really hope things work out no matter what happens, I know it's hard but focus on yourself and let yourself heal. He chose to leave to Saudi knowing that he would miss some of his child's milestones.
    If you're on speaking terms is it possible to Skype so he can see your DD? Or even send a video to him so you don't need to talk to him directly? 

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  • celainevcelainev member
    Yes, you need to remember he chose to leave! I understand you're upset and it must be terribly hard, but he chose to say mean things to you, and chose to leave you and your baby. I hope you can find peace. ❤️
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  • Peanut1128Peanut1128 member
    I'm sorry, I can't imagine how hard it must be. Try to encourage him to stay engaged however he can in your daughters life. I take videos and pictures daily and send them to grandparents, also I try and FaceTime or Skype with anyone who wants to feel more connected with my LO. I'm glad you have a good support system in place, try not to beat yourself up. It was his choice to leave.
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    edited April 2016
    Didn't you post earlier this week stating you just wanted him to leave and he was treating you poorly? Now you miss him? 
    I really dont have any advice but just wish the best for you!
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  • LaceyH13LaceyH13 member
    Thinking of you! Can you record them and send them to him via email? I bet her would appreciate it and it might alleviate some of your feelings.
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    Gingermom15 said:
    kdoak2015 said:
    Didn't you post earlier this week stating you just wanted him to leave and he was treating you poorly? Now you miss him? 
    I really dont have any advice but just wish the best for you!
    I'm pretty sure it's possible to still love and have feelings for someone who doesn't treat you well. They married for a reason, divorce and separation don't always change feelings. 
    Missing the person you fell in love with and grieving for the loss of that person is completely normal, I agree with you. You can absolutely hate the jackass they turned out to be and still grieve who they used to be. 

    Jamie


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  • andreaAL11andreaAL11 member
    redfallon said:
    Gingermom15 said:
    kdoak2015 said:
    Didn't you post earlier this week stating you just wanted him to leave and he was treating you poorly? Now you miss him? 
    I really dont have any advice but just wish the best for you!
    I'm pretty sure it's possible to still love and have feelings for someone who doesn't treat you well. They married for a reason, divorce and separation don't always change feelings. 
    Missing the person you fell in love with and grieving for the loss of that person is completely normal, I agree with you. You can absolutely hate the jackass they turned out to be and still grieve who they used to be. 
    This is what I'm going through. I fell in love with him for his fun and loving and kind personality. But the angry part of him and the jackass,as PP states, was the worst. I talk to him daily, keep him updated but it's so hard because he's told me things that are concerning that I can't really do anything to help. Like death wishes. They don't believe in therapy over there. Us getting a divorce was okay and he COULDN''T stay in the US because his green card was revoked. This is also the issue. I'm sure we could have been great at co parenting. 
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