We closed on the sale of our current home today and our new one is behind schedule. Im now living at my Moms and hubby and dogs are in a camper out at the new house. Our belongings are scattered between a storage unit, my moms, camper, new house garage and a pod. I need to nest people!!!!
We closed on the sale of our current home today and our new one is behind schedule. Im now living at my Moms and hubby and dogs are in a camper out at the new house. Our belongings are scattered between a storage unit, my moms, camper, new house garage and a pod. I need to nest people!!!!
This is exactly my life right now hahaha. I feel you!
When my first son was born, she was supposed to come visit roughly 3-4 weeks after the due date, so we would have some time to bond and be home as a family of three. But because he came early and she was visiting SIL in our state at the time, she wanted to come right then and would call every day that he was in the NICU asking when he was coming home and when she should buy her plane ticket to come stay with us. She ended up changing her ticket from the day we finally agreed on to the day he came home from the hospital, without running it by us first. So when we finally brought him home, instead of having a few days to ourselves, we had about an hour to be all home together as a family before my husband had to go get her from the airport. The whole situation really stressed me out and upset me, on top of the stress I already had from him coming early and being in the NICU. I feel like it contributed in part to me getting PPD and her presence also made trying to nurse more awkward and probably contributed a little to me giving up on it and resorting to EPing.
This time around I told my husband that I really don't want anyone staying with us before or immediately after baby comes, that it's really important to me to have that family bonding time that I felt I missed out on last time. I told him that I felt that MIL wasn't particularly helpful last time until after he had to go back to work, because there really was nothing for her to do until then. So, we told MIL that we want her to come about 2 weeks after the baby is born, when my husband has to go back to work and that I don't want/need anyone staying with us before then. We have had this conversation with her about 5 different times - both of us over the phone separately and all together when we last saw her. She keeps bringing it up like the question hasn't been answered and offering to come stay before my due date to watch our first son (my parents live near by and are on cal for that). This Saturday I heard my husband's end of yet another phone conversation where he re-iterated that we want her to come 2 weeks after the birth, and no he doesn't know what dates she should buy her tickets for because there is an almost 2 month window during which he could be born. She is retired and doesn't have other travel plans in May-July, so I know it's not an issue of scheduling around other stuff.
She has a habit of buying tickets to come see us and then telling us after the fact the dates she is coming. I'm worried she's going to just do that again and come when she feels like it, instead of when we've asked her to.
I have a few..I think having 2 and learning to juggle life with two and sharing my love. Also, money and wondering how we are going to afford two in daycare..scary!
Not knowing what my leave will be yet, my company still has to put its maternity policy in place -- I am its first. Worrying about going into labor the week my husband is away for work & parents are on aa cruise at the same time when I'll be in my 34th week. Coming to the realization that regardless of how much we talk it out, try to plan, we really have very little control over anything!
ETA some silly stressors, like people telling me I'm carrying so small that I worry that something is wrong.
I have recently developed a fear of something happening to me in labor and me not surviving. This is completely irrational as I am a healthy person with no known health issues and have had a low risk pregnancy... my family has all had successful pregnancies/labors etc. but I read something the other day where a woman died in childbirth and it freaked me out sufficiently.
This is me!!! I'm absolutely terrified that I'm going to die on the table during my repeat c section. My sis in law felt the same way though, so I guess we aren't alone!
@ahernandez16 and @VikingGirl12 My "love it" is not in reference to you and (your SIL) also feeling the same way, its just nice to know I'm not alone!!
@ahernandez16 and @VikingGirl12 My "love it" is not in reference to you and (your SIL) also feeling the same way, its just nice to know I'm not alone!!
I've felt the same way, too. Irrational, yes, but still the worry pops up.
I'm really stressed about returning to work. I've never wanted to be a SAHM, but the maternal instincts in me seem to be coming out and I just want to stay home with him and am scared to leave him with anyone, even my mom that will have him 3 days each week. I'm also really stressed about returning to work and pumping while at work. I really don't like the not being able to control when this little guy will be here and when I'll be leaving work. I want to know the day he's coming to be prepared lol.
This. I never wanted to stay home, except that's what I really would like to do now that LO is on the way, at least for a year. However, I make more than H, so it doesn't make financial sense for us to have me become a SAHM. Seriously been in tears about the idea of hiring a nanny to care for my child, even though I know millions and millions of babies are well-cared for by hired caregivers. Still scary to me.
Probably the wrong spot to post since there is a GD topic already, but my doctor called. I failed my 1-hour glucose test, thyroid is high and blood count is low. I have to go back for the 3-hour but i'm honestly so upset about this and stressed out. I know its only temporary but im so worried about tryin to survive the next 2 months of eating.
~* Met Husband: July 26, 2009Said Yes: July 26, 2010Married: September 10, 2011Baby Due: June 17, 2016 *~
Probably the wrong spot to post since there is a GD topic already, but my doctor called. I failed my 1-hour glucose test, thyroid is high and blood count is low. I have to go back for the 3-hour but i'm honestly so upset about this and stressed out. I know its only temporary but im so worried about tryin to survive the next 2 months of eating.
You can manage. We have a great support thread for you to check out if you do fail your 3 hour. It's not the end of the world and you'd much rather get yourself in a healthy place for your LO.
@AOliveira11 I had to do the 3 hr glucose test and was able to pass it. I know it's stressful (not to mention boring) but a lot of people pass the 3hr after failing the 1 hour.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I hope so. I kno its short term and im probably jumping the gun. I wish there were more resources available thru my doctor about GD and what i should and should not eat. In the meantime, i hope i pass the 3 hour. I mean, i dont eat that much sugary stuff to begin with. U give me 12oz of sugar water that tastes like fruit punch ass after not really having all that much sugar in my diet to begin with, what do you think is going to happen? It just feels like i was set up to fail
~* Met Husband: July 26, 2009Said Yes: July 26, 2010Married: September 10, 2011Baby Due: June 17, 2016 *~
To be perfectly honest with you, I absolutely knew I was going to fail. I even posted on Facebook at 14 weeks that eating sugary stuff/carbs made me feel terrible. It's amazing how your body gives you clues all along. That being said, protein and veggies are your friends. Dairy is good (ice cream is not) and stay away from anything that is not whole grains.
Mine is everyone wanting to be in the room with me. with DS I had only H in the room and LOVED it! That's what I had planned for this one but everyone else has other plans. My best friend who is in nursing school assumes she's going to be in the room and now my SIL who lives TWO hours away plans to be in there! I don't want anyone but H in there again. I'm horrible at putting my foot down with people! Idk how I'm going to approach either of them on the topic!
Mine is everyone wanting to be in the room with me. with DS I had only H in the room and LOVED it! That's what I had planned for this one but everyone else has other plans. My best friend who is in nursing school assumes she's going to be in the room and now my SIL who lives TWO hours away plans to be in there! I don't want anyone but H in there again. I'm horrible at putting my foot down with people! Idk how I'm going to approach either of them on the topic!
Ugh. I'll never understand why people just assume they'll be in the delivery room.
In this case, you've simply got to spell it out. This is about what you want when you give birth. I know confrontation isn't anyone's favorite, but your nursing school friend and SIL need to understand and respect your wishes. Maybe something like "Listen, I know you've said you'd like to be with us in labor. H and I appreciate your support, but we have decided it will be only H and myself in the delivery room. At some time after the baby is born once we've had a chance to settle in, we'd love you to visit at [home or hospital--whatever you wish]". FTM here, but I just know if I didn't speak up in your shoes, I'd completely regret it.
Mine is everyone wanting to be in the room with me. with DS I had only H in the room and LOVED it! That's what I had planned for this one but everyone else has other plans. My best friend who is in nursing school assumes she's going to be in the room and now my SIL who lives TWO hours away plans to be in there! I don't want anyone but H in there again. I'm horrible at putting my foot down with people! Idk how I'm going to approach either of them on the topic!
You've already experienced labor the way you are most comfortable, why change it up if it went good? Just say that you had a perfect first experience and you and DH want to have it the same way. Anyone who doesn't accept that decision can suck it!
Speaking of large babies my DS was tiny he had IUGR and was 5 pounds I still ended up with a 4th degree tear. I'm thankful that this LO doesn't have that but she's measuring in 80% and it's freaking me out. How will my vagina handle a big baby?!?!
Mine is everyone wanting to be in the room with me. with DS I had only H in the room and LOVED it! That's what I had planned for this one but everyone else has other plans. My best friend who is in nursing school assumes she's going to be in the room and now my SIL who lives TWO hours away plans to be in there! I don't want anyone but H in there again. I'm horrible at putting my foot down with people! Idk how I'm going to approach either of them on the topic!
You've already experienced labor the way you are most comfortable, why change it up if it went good? Just say that you had a perfect first experience and you and DH want to have it the same way. Anyone who doesn't accept that decision can suck it!
Exactly!! Don't like how I want to give birth? Well, sir/ma'am, please F right off.
Mine is everyone wanting to be in the room with me. with DS I had only H in the room and LOVED it! That's what I had planned for this one but everyone else has other plans. My best friend who is in nursing school assumes she's going to be in the room and now my SIL who lives TWO hours away plans to be in there! I don't want anyone but H in there again. I'm horrible at putting my foot down with people! Idk how I'm going to approach either of them on the topic!
You've already experienced labor the way you are most comfortable, why change it up if it went good? Just say that you had a perfect first experience and you and DH want to have it the same way. Anyone who doesn't accept that decision can suck it!
Exactly!! Don't like how I want to give birth? Well, sir/ma'am, please F right off.
Agree 100%. I actually went as far as asking for no visitors at the hospital and my aunt thought that was so terrible of me she never came and saw my son. I just wanted to focus on breastfeeding and didn't want visitors making me feel rushed and nervous while I had no clue what I was doing. She eventually got over it but truth is I didn't care how she felt it wasn't about her.
Mine is everyone wanting to be in the room with me. with DS I had only H in the room and LOVED it! That's what I had planned for this one but everyone else has other plans. My best friend who is in nursing school assumes she's going to be in the room and now my SIL who lives TWO hours away plans to be in there! I don't want anyone but H in there again. I'm horrible at putting my foot down with people! Idk how I'm going to approach either of them on the topic!
You've already experienced labor the way you are most comfortable, why change it up if it went good? Just say that you had a perfect first experience and you and DH want to have it the same way. Anyone who doesn't accept that decision can suck it!
Exactly!! Don't like how I want to give birth? Well, sir/ma'am, please F right off.
Agree 100%. I actually went as far as asking for no visitors at the hospital and my aunt thought that was so terrible of me she never came and saw my son. I just wanted to focus on breastfeeding and didn't want visitors making me feel rushed and nervous while I had no clue what I was doing. She eventually got over it but truth is I didn't care how she felt it wasn't about her.
Good for you. Luckily, I haven't had anyone object to our birth plan (visitor-wise). We will let family know when we get check in during labor though we don't want anyone coming to the hospital at that time, H will be responsible for updates as necessary, and at some point after baby is born we'll let family know when they can come to the hospital for a short visit. Like you said, I want to be able to freely breastfeed without any pressure from visitors, well-meaning as they may be. If someone doesn't like it, frankly, I don't care.
The thing I do worry about is someone (aka MIL) posting some announcement on social media before we have a chance to do so ourselves. We're Team Green, so H and I will have to a) explicitly spell out the "post baby or birth info under pain of death" law, and b) sadly, control information to people since MIL and FIL have proven they have big mouths. Sigh.
Honestly just about everything and anything is stressing me out. We are living with the inlaws right now and they keep threatening to kick us out. My SIL wants to plan my baby shower but she wants it to be 45 minutes away where she lives instead of right here in my town where everyone else lives. My job is still very slow so I am not making any money. I don't feel like I am ready at all for the baby to come. My DS is still not taking the news well... LOL. We have some legal trouble going on and Im worried the H wont be around when the baby is born. I swear I can go on and on. but i'll end the rant now.
@HeartLikeMine3 and @crdo I know I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties soon! I'm sure SIL wouldn't make it in time and she's easy going so she wouldn't be offended. But my friend on the other hand is so much harder lol we're going for a massage together on Sunday so I think I'm going to bring it up then.
@HeartLikeMine3 and @crdo I know I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties soon! I'm sure SIL wouldn't make it in time and she's easy going so she wouldn't be offended. But my friend on the other hand is so much harder lol we're going for a massage together on Sunday so I think I'm going to bring it up then.
@Mamabraun7911 I totally understand where you're coming from!! My situation is a little different, in that it involves people hanging out before baby comes and staying in the waiting room during delivery. I've made it clear to MY family and close friends that I don't want people hanging around all day besides my parents and my sister. My best friend will most likely be at work, unless baby comes on a weekend, but she's the only other person thats been given the all-clear to come stop by the hospital before delivery. As far as after, I STILL don't want visitors until H and I have had the time to initiate bonding and breastfeeding. H and I still have to discuss, but I do want my sister standing by the delivery room with her camera (she's a newborn photographer) to capture those first precious moments we have with baby. I've spoken with many friends who already have kids and they really wish that they had those first events captured on film.
DH's family is all in Texas, and they've agreed that we will call them to book their flights out here when we head to the hospital. His niece graduates high school the weekend before my due date, so they will be celebrating with her (bummed to miss it, but they clearly understand lol). His best friend, however, doesn't know that I 1) don't want her at the hospital at all. She has a 1 year-old, and, like most hospitals these days, ours doesn't allow kids that are NOT siblings in the maternity ward that are under the age of 10 I think it is. She's never hired a babysitter, and I highly doubt she would leave her kid with anyone besides her husband. 2) I don't like her, and having her there, attempting to chip in with her experience of child birth and her c-section would probably cause me to flip my ish on someone. My family also doesnt like her. 3) I can guarantee that the event of my H and I having our first child would somehow piss her off and she would find a way to make it all about her (probably announce that she's pregnant with her second child, if she doesnt pull that shit at my baby shower next weekend!!)
Now that I've sufficiently posted my drama, I think we both need to pull our big girl panties on and tell these people how it is!!
I'm 22, a junior in college, and have a son who just turned 2. My husband was accepted in the air force, but he has no idea when he will go to officer's training school. His recruiter told him to take a 6 month position at a job that is an hr and half from our apartment so it looks like he's not leaving any time soon. That's a relief since he'll most likely be here for DD. We have one car, and can't afford to move or get a second car. When he does go to OTS, he'll be gone for 9 weeks. Then we may be uprooted at any moment to go to his station. Then he doesn't want to stay state side so I'm trying to figure outhow that's going to work out. I'm stressed about being sick for a month, and I have actually still been 10lbs under my prepregnancy weight. My son has also been sick and he just had a fit that lasted 30 minutes and I'm freaking out over that happening when I'm alone and have to take care of two children.
I have another thing that's stressing me out that I was wondering if anyone else is dealing with. I gained about 18lbs in the first 20 weeks and my belly really popped at about 18 weeks. However, I have not gained any weight in the last 8 weeks, maybe 1/2lb that keeps going up and down, but nothing substantial and it seems my belly is not really growing. At my A/S everything looked great and my midwife isn't worried about me not gaining weight, but it's starting to freak me out because I thought this was the time we were supposed to be gaining the most weight. I can't get an Ultrasound because I see a midwife and they only do the doppler. She measures my belly and says it's fine, but it's starting to stress me out. Is anyone else experiencing being stagnant in weight and growth??
@Diesel615- every woman responds so differently to each pregnancy (eg- I gained 35 lbs with my first, 32 with my second and right now, have gained only 15 at 32 weeks). If your MW isn't concerned, I wouldn't be either. I'm sure she would let you know if there's a concern.
I have another thing that's stressing me out that I was wondering if anyone else is dealing with. I gained about 18lbs in the first 20 weeks and my belly really popped at about 18 weeks. However, I have not gained any weight in the last 8 weeks, maybe 1/2lb that keeps going up and down, but nothing substantial and it seems my belly is not really growing. At my A/S everything looked great and my midwife isn't worried about me not gaining weight, but it's starting to freak me out because I thought this was the time we were supposed to be gaining the most weight. I can't get an Ultrasound because I see a midwife and they only do the doppler. She measures my belly and says it's fine, but it's starting to stress me out. Is anyone else experiencing being stagnant in weight and growth??
My OB said that because of my current weight 189 at 5'6 he's fine if I don't gain any more weight as long as baby continues to look good at appointments. If your midwife isn't concerned then try to not worry. Just eat healthy and don't cut calories and you should be fine.
I recently joined the Army by direct commission, which is a process I started before I was pregnant. They are still taking me, but I am supposed to start officer training 9 weeks after my due date. That means I need to pass the Army physical fitness test roughly 2 months postpartum. I am most worried about going past my due date, needing a C-section, and not having enough time to recover.
I'm really worried about how I'm going to take care of 3.5 yo DS and baby at the same time after Dh goes back to work. Having a newborn is hard enough, I have no idea how I'm going to keep DS entertained on top of baby care.
@crdo one word: NURSE! tell the nurse you only want H in the room, they will kick everyone out for you. They would prefer less people in there too haha
@diesel615 can you work from home at all? Are you allowed to take any leave prior to your due date? Worrying about all this stuff is worse than actually doing it. Once it's here, you'll do fine.
@xc1148 No, I work for a psychiatric hospital so there's all the HIPPA laws and nothing can leave the hospital. I've been considering working for my Dad and Aunt so my schedule's a little more flexible, but the commute SUCKS and I worked for them in the summers in college and working for family is not fun or easy.
@crdo one word: NURSE! tell the nurse you only want H in the room, they will kick everyone out for you. They would prefer less people in there too haha
@diesel615 can you work from home at all? Are you allowed to take any leave prior to your due date? Worrying about all this stuff is worse than actually doing it. Once it's here, you'll do fine.
Oh yeah! Already told family H will be the only one in the rooms--delivery AND post-partum until we let them know we are ready for short visits. Period, no exceptions. Haven't heard any pushback, but I'll shut it down if it happens.
I am stressed out with having to come back to my current job. I travel all fall and do not want to leave a 3 month old while BFing to travel. I also worry about dealing with families while in labor. My mom is insistent she needs to be in the room because she is a nurse and DH would never know when to get the nurses attention. I really want it to be just me and DH but I feel like she is going to fight her way in there. Also I worry about MIL contacting everyone on their side and have them come to the hospital and i dont want a constant parade of visitors. I am also worried how we will make it work financially.
Re: What is currently stressing you out the most?
When my first son was born, she was supposed to come visit roughly 3-4 weeks after the due date, so we would have some time to bond and be home as a family of three. But because he came early and she was visiting SIL in our state at the time, she wanted to come right then and would call every day that he was in the NICU asking when he was coming home and when she should buy her plane ticket to come stay with us. She ended up changing her ticket from the day we finally agreed on to the day he came home from the hospital, without running it by us first. So when we finally brought him home, instead of having a few days to ourselves, we had about an hour to be all home together as a family before my husband had to go get her from the airport. The whole situation really stressed me out and upset me, on top of the stress I already had from him coming early and being in the NICU. I feel like it contributed in part to me getting PPD and her presence also made trying to nurse more awkward and probably contributed a little to me giving up on it and resorting to EPing.
This time around I told my husband that I really don't want anyone staying with us before or immediately after baby comes, that it's really important to me to have that family bonding time that I felt I missed out on last time. I told him that I felt that MIL wasn't particularly helpful last time until after he had to go back to work, because there really was nothing for her to do until then. So, we told MIL that we want her to come about 2 weeks after the baby is born, when my husband has to go back to work and that I don't want/need anyone staying with us before then. We have had this conversation with her about 5 different times - both of us over the phone separately and all together when we last saw her. She keeps bringing it up like the question hasn't been answered and offering to come stay before my due date to watch our first son (my parents live near by and are on cal for that). This Saturday I heard my husband's end of yet another phone conversation where he re-iterated that we want her to come 2 weeks after the birth, and no he doesn't know what dates she should buy her tickets for because there is an almost 2 month window during which he could be born. She is retired and doesn't have other travel plans in May-July, so I know it's not an issue of scheduling around other stuff.
She has a habit of buying tickets to come see us and then telling us after the fact the dates she is coming. I'm worried she's going to just do that again and come when she feels like it, instead of when we've asked her to.
Worrying about going into labor the week my husband is away for work & parents are on aa cruise at the same time when I'll be in my 34th week. Coming to the realization that regardless of how much we talk it out, try to plan, we really have very little control over anything!
ETA some silly stressors, like people telling me I'm carrying so small that I worry that something is wrong.
This. I never wanted to stay home, except that's what I really would like to do now that LO is on the way, at least for a year. However, I make more than H, so it doesn't make financial sense for us to have me become a SAHM. Seriously been in tears about the idea of hiring a nanny to care for my child, even though I know millions and millions of babies are well-cared for by hired caregivers. Still scary to me.
In this case, you've simply got to spell it out. This is about what you want when you give birth. I know confrontation isn't anyone's favorite, but your nursing school friend and SIL need to understand and respect your wishes. Maybe something like "Listen, I know you've said you'd like to be with us in labor. H and I appreciate your support, but we have decided it will be only H and myself in the delivery room. At some time after the baby is born once we've had a chance to settle in, we'd love you to visit at [home or hospital--whatever you wish]". FTM here, but I just know if I didn't speak up in your shoes, I'd completely regret it.
The thing I do worry about is someone (aka MIL) posting some announcement on social media before we have a chance to do so ourselves. We're Team Green, so H and I will have to a) explicitly spell out the "post baby or birth info under pain of death" law, and b) sadly, control information to people since MIL and FIL have proven they have big mouths. Sigh.
DH's family is all in Texas, and they've agreed that we will call them to book their flights out here when we head to the hospital. His niece graduates high school the weekend before my due date, so they will be celebrating with her (bummed to miss it, but they clearly understand lol). His best friend, however, doesn't know that I 1) don't want her at the hospital at all. She has a 1 year-old, and, like most hospitals these days, ours doesn't allow kids that are NOT siblings in the maternity ward that are under the age of 10 I think it is. She's never hired a babysitter, and I highly doubt she would leave her kid with anyone besides her husband. 2) I don't like her, and having her there, attempting to chip in with her experience of child birth and her c-section would probably cause me to flip my ish on someone. My family also doesnt like her. 3) I can guarantee that the event of my H and I having our first child would somehow piss her off and she would find a way to make it all about her (probably announce that she's pregnant with her second child, if she doesnt pull that shit at my baby shower next weekend!!)
Now that I've sufficiently posted my drama, I think we both need to pull our big girl panties on and tell these people how it is!!
lbs with my first, 32 with my second and right now, have gained only 15 at 32 weeks). If your MW isn't concerned, I wouldn't be either. I'm sure she would let you know if there's a concern.
@diesel615 can you work from home at all? Are you allowed to take any leave prior to your due date? Worrying about all this stuff is worse than actually doing it. Once it's here, you'll do fine.