TW Do you have a "safe" gestational age?

muybueno · April 2016

This is not a post about MC per say, but it could be sensitive, hence the TW.

Do you have a gestational age in mind when you think you'll feel "safe"- like you won't be constantly worried about viability? I guess this only applies to people (like me) who have this on their mind a lot.

With both of my other pregnancies, once I hit 10 weeks, my outlook got really positive and I stopped worrying about the "what if's." Honestly, it might be even earlier this time around. There's no rhyme or reason to it- purely psychological.

Anyone else looking to "get to X weeks?"

ShallowSeas · April 2016

My first "milestone" that I set for myself was 8 weeks. My next one is 12 weeks. At 8 weeks I thought, "whew, I made it" and was able to sigh a sigh of relief but still feel anxious. I think after 12 weeks and after the u/s at that time I will feel even better...but I'm an anxious person and will probably be anxious and question everything until I have my baby in my arms.

NatashaSprout · April 2016

I won't feel safe until my kid is 52 years old.

comealongponds · April 2016

I mean, the reality of it is, viability is 24 weeks - and that's about a 50/50 shot (maybe a wee bit better). I work with ex-prems a lot (children's hospital) so my real "no worry zone" is probably higher than most...34 weeks. At that point, I'd be pretty confident they'd be okay to come out (but my overall goal is 38 weeks!).

shevaCC · April 2016

NatashaSprout said:

I won't feel safe until my kid is 52 years old.

Lol, this is me too. There's always something to worry about. I just try not to let the nagging worry voice keep me from living my life.

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt · April 2016

I'm past my latest loss milestone which is my big one, but I'm still nervous right up to the end.

NatashaSprout · April 2016

My real answer is My brother lost his daughter (stillborn) at 37 weeks last year. Crushing. They have their rainbow baby now. I won't be okay till baby is out and alive.

ficbot · April 2016

They told me that after six weeks, when we saw it on the ultrasound with a heartbeat, the risk was very low. I am about to hit nine weeks and feel like I am less scared now. I am not announcing on Facebook though until after my first OB appointment at the end of April. I get another ultrasound for that and after we see it and the dr says it looks good, I will feel better.

SRJR2013 · April 2016

My cousin lost a baby at 36 weeks, and a good friend just lost a baby at 21..... I don't feel safe until babes gets here.

tjljsc · April 2016

I'm not going to feel safe until this baby is in my arms. A coworker lost her baby yesterday at 30 weeks. Just devastating.

AandDM2014 · April 2016

I find it comforting that I'm not the only one who is going to worry until baby is safe and alive in my arms in November. I know some people think it is silly that I'm still worried, even though we've seen the heartbeat 3 times, but I know someone who *TW* saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and then didn't have one at 10. I can't get over that. It makes me nervous as heck! Especially reading things about having PCOS and being pregnant and having stillbirths.

banfrog · April 2016

I have a recurring condition that has a high chance of stillbirth the longer I'm pregnant. I'll be nervous until the baby is born. The third trimester is the most stressful time for me.

EmmieAnn22 · April 2016

I won't feel safe until this baby is healthy in my arms. I lost my son at 37 weeks so I've lost any feeling of a certain gestational age being safe.

leaseee · April 2016

Definitely on the same page as those who say they'll feel safe when baby in your arms. That said, I think I will start to feel safer as things progress.

With my last pregnancy the first hint of problems was at 13 weeks, so I'm hoping good appointments from that point on will feel reassuring.

josiebegosie2002 · April 2016

My first milestone was seeing the heartbeat at six weeks. I'm going to start telling family and very close friends after seeing it again at eight weeks. I will feel even better after the nuchal scan at 12 weeks. I felt "safe" at 34 weeks but I echo everyone else's feelings that you don't truly feel safe until you have the baby in your arms.

kns1988 · April 2016

I think I'll feel a little safer at 12 weeks. If nothing else, I'll at least finally tell family and I just want that moment of everyone being excited for me and H. We didn't get to have that with the last pregnancy.

rencontrezmoi · April 2016

I'll sure I'll feel a *little* bit safer around 13 weeks when I hit the second tri, then probably with each milestone. 20 week anatomy scan, 24 weeks viability, 36 weeks full-term. But like others have said- I'll be anxious until the day I'm holding a baby in my arms.

Thewizardofrhythm · April 2016

So my take on this is a little different. I actually begin to get a bit more nervous after 12 weeks. For me a MC before 12 weeks means that my body is doing its job and that the baby would not have been viable. Not saying I wouldn't be disappointed and sad, but at the same time I'd be accepting of it. Its after that time that I feel the pregnancy is in my hands and that if something goes wrong it'll be because of something I did. I know thats not necessarily true but I'm much more emotionally attached after the first tri and start to really want things to work out.

beforeyou · April 2016

Another vote for when the baby is out and in my arms.
But I'll probably begin to feel better after I hear the heartbeat, and then after I get my first u/s, and then when I can start feeling the baby move. I'll feel best at 34 weeks. But I'm anxious by nature.

MissAmeliaPond · April 2016

NatashaSprout said:

I won't feel safe until my kid is 52 years old.

^^ This.

2undertwo2bee · April 2016

Wss^ even after the baby is here I found new thing to worry about. SIDS. Being the main one.

mrsasolomon · April 2016

My first milestone will be 20 weeks, which is past when we lost our son at 17 weeks. But I won't feel truly safe until my baby is in my arms crying

sweetsasaurus · April 2016

My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage at the end of the first trimester and my second pregnancy resulted in a beautiful baby boy, but it was a complicated pregnancy and he had to come out early. During my second pregnancy I was so scared he wasn't going to make it that I had to develop ways of focusing on the positive. I would tell myself that I'm pregnant until told otherwise. I'd also remind myself that anticipating the worst wouldn't help even if it did happen. Though I'd still get anxious these mantras helped a great deal. Now I'm pregnant a third time and it still feels fragile to me, but I'm using the mantras and taking it a day at a time. It's helped me enjoy the pregnancy more.

Mawmee · April 2016

"Safe" for me would be viability at 24 weeks. I lost my son at 22 weeks and my whole life surrounded trying to make it just a bit further.

Or the kid's college graduation. Then I can breathe. Maybe.

hollowway · April 2016

Safe in my arms? No. Swallowing successfully after nursing is when I'll feel safe. When DD was born, she turned blue after nursing because her esophagus wasn't attached to her stomach and she was aspirating on the breastmilk. She was whisked away to surgery and the NICU. So when this baby can swallow without issue, I'll be able to breathe. Although, I'm starting to be comfortable with the pregnancy itself now that we're at 8 weeks with no bleeding...

citygirl17 · April 2016

I'll feel lots better tomorrow when I hear the HB. Even better after my first ultrasound at the end of the month. And finally total relief when I hold the baby in my arms. I had a great pregnancy with my first, no problems or red flags. But then she swallowed meconium during the delivery and we almost lost her in the home stretch. She wasn't breathing and was sent to the NICU for a few days. She's perfectly healthy now but it has made me more anxious this time around.

sugar9277 · April 2016

24 weeks was a big milestone for me last time because it meant I had a shot at bringing home a Baby, not walking away empty-handed, so to speak, if something happened early. I wound up having a smooth SVD at 40+4. :-)

whaat · April 2016

Question: when we talk about "viability" at 24 weeks, this doesn't mean the baby will be normal (for lack of a better word), just alive, right? Like it could survive but can it have a full life?
I guess I could google, but since we're all here..

jarethinafrock · April 2016

whaat said:

Question: when we talk about "viability" at 24 weeks, this doesn't mean the baby will be normal (for lack of a better word), just alive, right? Like it could survive but can it have a full life?
I guess I could google, but since we're all here..

Yes, it basically means that baby would be able to survive outside the womb, though no guarantee. A lady on my Aug 2014 board delivered her child around 24 weeks and, miraculously, he is doing quite well, all things considered, but that first year was a tough one for them. He barely weighed a pound when he was born.

NatashaSprout · April 2016

I've delivered many babies (I didn't have them but actually delivered them) at 24 weeks. After arriving at the hospital and being weighed sometimes regardless of age they are not viable. If babies don't meet the hospitals minimum requirement for grams they will terminate life sustaining efforts. So when thinking viable it's not just an age but also a weight.

TwandaFTG · April 2016

Last time I was nervous the entire 39 w 2d. I thought it would be easier once he was out but then I realized I will always worry. I still freak out if he sleeps in! This time I'm less of a mess but maybe it is bc I know better. I know that the worry doesn't help and doesn't go away. BUT once I could feel him kicking it did make me feel like we had a shot. Pregnancy is a mind f@&k!

whaat · April 2016

@twandaftg right. I figure this is practice for being a nervous parent.

TwandaFTG · April 2016

MaMaBear1323 said:

Safe in my arms? No. Swallowing successfully after nursing is when I'll feel safe. When DD was born, she turned blue after nursing because her esophagus wasn't attached to her stomach and she was aspirating on the breastmilk. She was whisked away to surgery and the NICU. So when this baby can swallow without issue, I'll be able to breathe. Although, I'm starting to be comfortable with the pregnancy itself now that we're at 8 weeks with no bleeding...

My cousin was born with that and he is now a giant thriving 7 year old (my uncle was really young when I was born and his 2nd wife is my husband's age, cousins are closer to my son's age than mine!). He brother came along 2 years later with no trouble!

Want a personalized experience?

TW Do you have a "safe" gestational age?

Re: TW Do you have a "safe" gestational age?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

*TW* Do you have a "safe" gestational age?

Re: *TW* Do you have a &quot;safe&quot; gestational age?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

TW Do you have a "safe" gestational age?

Re: TW Do you have a "safe" gestational age?