Baby/parent sleeping arrangements?

Snaps816 · March 2016

I'm curious to hear where/how everyone is planning on having the baby sleep in the early weeks/months. And if there are any STM's willing to share their input, I'd appreciate it!

Here's what I've been thinking about: It sounds like most people use a bassinet/cosleeper in the bedroom for the early months and then transition to a crib in the nursery, so that's been my plan all along, but lately I've had some concerns that have made me wonder if I should just skip right to the crib. One is that DH has really odd work hours. Once or twice a week he has to get up at like 3am, and he needs some pretty loud and obnoxious alarms to do so. It will definitely wake the baby. Second, we have two cats who like to sleep in our room, sometimes on the bed, and I'm worried about them getting into the bassinet. If we lock them out of the room, they will meow and scratch at the door. So I've been wondering if, considering these two factors, skipping the bassinet and going straight in the crib will help us all sleep better. We're in a 2BR apartment so the nursery is right around the corner -- it's not like it's way down the hall or anything. I should be able to hear baby just fine and get over there pretty quickly. I realize it might be tougher on me to get up and go sit in a different room to feed, rather than just doing it in bed, but that's not the worst thing ever. We will have a daybed in the nursery for guests, or for me if I want to sleep in there occasionally. Also, there is the little perk for DH and I that we would be able to talk, laugh, watch TV, etc. in bed before falling asleep at night, which is a part of our routine that we value. I guess my main question is, is there any downside for baby if he or she goes straight in the crib?

Ceventa · March 2016

Our house is a bit tough in the sense that although it's all one floor, the kids rooms are on the other side of the house. So, with DS we automatically started him in the pack n' play during the night. We kept it next to my side of the bed so that I could easily get up and nurse him throughout the night. During the day I would put him in his crib to nap, but since I nursed DS for a full year, out of laziness I kept him in my room. Currently, we are still in the process of getting him to fully transition into his room (he just turned 2). It's been a struggle, because he will start in his room, but always ends up in our bed, or lately in a little fold out toddler bed that I have next to me just to make it easier for him to not be in our bed. We are currently in the process of finishing up his big-boy room with his new bed, and once that's ready, I am going hard-core on getting him sleep trained on staying in his room because IT IS TIME.

With LO, I plan on doing things differently, just cause I don't want to have this same issue. Very early on I will probably do the pack n'play thing since I will be recovering and super tired, and I have this terrible fear of them not breathing at night. I was always checking on DS, so I know I will probably want LO near me in the beginning. However, before I get back to work, I will start putting LO in the crib at night. It will mean me walking across the house during the night for nursing, but I'll do it. DS's new bed has a trundle at the bottom, so if anything I will crash in his room. All in all, LO will be sleeping in his/her room early on and not get used to my room.

Take it from me FTMs, you need your space and time alone with your hubby in your bed!

Hummingbird125 · March 2016

We live in a 1BR (and will be here until LO is at least 6 months old), so the crib will be in the corner of our room, and that's where he will sleep. Hopefully by the time we move to a larger apartment or house, we'll all be more or less ready for him to go into his own room.

Pam973 · March 2016

I'm a STM and every family is different but I would definitely recommend having baby in your room if possible at least the first few weeks. Some ladies are meant for having babies and have super easy labor or recovery. I did not and even though baby's room was right next door, having her next to me the first week I was recovering was essential for helping me heal.

Snaps816 · March 2016

Pam973 said:

I'm a STM and every family is different but I would definitely recommend having baby in your room if possible at least the first few weeks. Some ladies are meant for having babies and have super easy labor or recovery. I did not and even though baby's room was right next door, having her next to me the first week I was recovering was essential for helping me heal.

That's a good point -- I hadn't thought about the fact that getting up could be painful. Especially if I end up having a C-section. Thanks!

acciobaby123 · March 2016

Third time for us and we will have baby in a bassinet or pack n play for the first 6 months or so for two reasons 1) it's WAAAAY easier for late night wake-ups 2) lower rate of SIDS for babies sleeping in a room with mom. It seems like the best situation for you is to sleep in the nursery with your lo for at least the first little bit. Luckily we can close our door and keep the cat from scratching the door, but between that and the alarm, I would be sleeping on the daybed for sure!

Curls919 · March 2016

We'll use a bassinet in our room for the first few months. We moved DS around 2 months because I was going back to work a few weeks later but even though I'm a sahm now I may still move this one around that time anyway. But we live in a split level and the nursery is down a small flight of steps from our room so id rather have the baby closer. Plus DS will be in a room next to the nursery so I'd like the baby to be giving longer stretches before we move them next to each other.

Bookhousegirl · March 2016

We did the Rock and play by our bed for the first 6ish weeks and then transitioned DS to his nursery and that's the plan this time as well.

I think for the first couple of weeks if I was in your situation I would probably just sleep in the baby's room since that sounds like the only option that allows you to be in the same room. You'll probably want to be close since you're up A LOT the first few weeks.

The time for you and DH to watch tv and cuddle is definitely important and that's why DH and I transition DS to his crib pretty early, but those first couple of weeks you're probably going to be laying down to sleep super early, especially if that's when the baby's longest stretch of sleep is.

DH and I had a system for a while where I would put the baby down in his crib around 7:30 and I would sleep and then DH would do the next feeding (usually around 10/11) with pumped milk and then I would do the 2/3ish feeding. That usually gave me a 6 hour stretch and in those first 3 weeks that was heaven.

bearsandbeets7 · March 2016

We had DD in our room until she was about 6 months old. We could just tell it was time to transition to her own room and she was a really good sleeper so she slept pretty much through the night at this point. I am naturally a worrier so I loved having her right there beside us so I could look at her to double check she was okay whenever. I still sometimes, 17 months later, go into her room and check that she's okay before I go to bed. It's really up to you and your preferences and what works best for you and your DH.

kriley602774 · March 2016

I really struggled recovering from my csection (bumpy road with LO being in NICU for a few days which didn't allow me to rest as much as I needed to) so I actually slept on the couch downstairs with LO in a pack and play for about 2 weeks. Once I was feeling better, I transitioned him to his crib. My bedroom was LITERALLY right next to the nursery and I could be right there as soon as he woke so it seemed to work well.

This time I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do since we've recently moved and the nursery is upstairs and the master is downstairs. I have a full sized bed in the nursery so either that or keeping a pack and play in my room for at least a few weeks or however long feels appropriate.

karlimonster · March 2016

We had a pack and play in our room for about 5 months. I wish I had moved him sooner because we all slept much better once he moved. I'm anticipating doing the same this time around. Also, I don't want to put a crying baby near the room of the kid who actually sleeps. Not yet anyway.

KMeredith82 · March 2016

I'll jump in on this since my perspective seems to be different from others... With our first, we put him in his own crib in his own room starting the first night home from the hospital. I have no regrets and think we all slept better because of this. His room was right next to ours, I always nursed him sitting up in the rocker in his room, and it allowed my husband and I to have our own space, and didn't impact our pets. He ended up being able to sleep through the night by 6 weeks and has been a great sleeper ever since. I plan to do the same with this baby as well.

ramoseecology · March 2016

I'm planning on using a co-sleeper for a few months. My friends with kids recommended it so I'll be doing that and possibly using the crib for day time naps/sleeping.

Knottie1427415498 · March 2016

We also live in a 1-bdrm , so baby will be in a bassinet next to us. Hopefully we'll be able to move to a bigger place when our lease is up (nov).

texasmama2014 · March 2016

I live in a camper(another story for another day.) The little baby will sleep in the RNP, or on the bed with us. Sometimes, laying on my side and nursing that was the only way I got any sleep with our first.

we lived in a two bedroom apartment when our first was born. She slept in th RNP or PNP in our room for over a year. She now sleeps in her crib (most of the time) in the "living room/her bedroom. She was a terrible sleeper and I nursed at night up until a few months ago. Never planned to cosleep/bed share that long but hey, it happens.

Sekerambo · March 2016

My dd projectile vomitted the first time I put her in her crib, in the room next door, and that was enough to scare me into her sleeping next to me. She ended up needing to sleep at an incline so she was never in the crib. Once the Sids risk went down she moved to the bed with us. This baby will be in the crib next to our bed from day one. Sids is a huge fear of mine since my "sister" lost her brother to sids in the last couple years.

lilpinky7878 · March 2016

I live in a 1 bedroom apartment plan on crib on one of the side walls.. plan to move by next year

JLyn821 · March 2016

We put DS in his crib in his room right away. I couldn't imagine having him in our room. We all sleep better for it. Baby girl will start in her room, too.

It's not hard to get up and walk the ten steps to another room.

cm716 · March 2016

I can't have the baby in our room. My kids are LOUD sleepers. They sniff, snort, and grunt and if they are right next to me, I wake up at every little noise and then I wake them up to make sure they are still breathing and then no one sleeps. My kids sleep in a bassinet right outside the door to my bedroom. Our bassinet has wheels so when they wake up, I get up wheel them to the living room and feed and change them there so my husband can sleep.

Around four months I put them in the crib.DD1 slept through the night pretty much immediately. DD2 slept in the room with DD1. Her crying never woke up DD1 so then I would feed DD2 in the rocker and put her back down.

This time around we live in a house, not an apartment. So, I'll still use the bassinet but I'm not sure where I'll put the baby. I may camp out on the couch downstairs for the first couple of months. (Our couch is super comfy!) That way I will be able to watch TV while I nurse and not wake up my other kids or husband because all the bedrooms are upstairs.

Jenniferk08 · March 2016

We have a tiny 2 br home. Our son has the other room. We will be downsizing our bed to a full so the crib can fit in our room. Our house is on the market so I'm praying to sells soon.

KUGirl09 · March 2016

Between the c-section recovery and breastfeeding, it was so much easier for the first couple months to have him in the rock n play or bassinet in the pack and play by the bed in our room. About the time that the doctor told us that we did not have to have mandatory feedings every 3 hours (I think that ended around 8 weeks) I started to feel more comfortable having him sleep in his crib. We fully transitioned to the crib at 4 months, and since we had an angelcare monitor, I always slept peacefully. I was a lucky mom though, and had a great sleeper till right around the 4-5 month mark, when the first BIG sleep regression hit. I'll definitely do the same with this one, possibly putting them in the crib a bit sooner so that the sleep regression and crib transition are not so close together. I wonder if that made the regression worse actually. So, likely I'll transition at 3 months this time, right about the time I go back to work.

ginger819 · March 2016

We will do the same we did with DD. She stayed in our room in a pack-n-play. I also have room to put a rocking chair for easy night feedings. She stayed in there until I went back to work at 9 weeks. We had a pnp downstairs for naps too until about that point. At about 6 weeks though I started gradually moving her naps to her own crib to get her used to it. DD did great switching to her own crib and it was easier as we started to get her to sleep longer. We didn't hear every little noise and run to her (she was right across the hall, but that first month or two I had a monitor on as loud as possible afraid I would miss her crying).

Jengle77 · March 2016

I am a third time mom. My first, I tried the bassinet in my room. I didn't sleep because I heard every little squeak and noise. Not good for both of us. She went into the crib at 2 weeks and never left. My second baby went straight into the crib. I think I slept on the floor with her a night or two, but again, in the crib, no transition issues, and never left. With this one, it will be the same. We got a nice new recliner rocker that we can easily sleep in. So, she will also be in the crib from the get go! I also had the angel care monitor so I didn't mind being a few rooms away. I was alerted every time she moved or stopped breathing (which never happened). Good luck!

1faceinacrowd · March 2016

STM here. One thing that I don't think was mentioned that you should keep in mind is that, on top of waking up a lot, newborn babies don't just fall right back asleep. With DD, there were many nights when I was sitting up in bed, trying to hold the pacifier in her mouth or fix her position or hold her and then gently set her back in her bassinet after feeding and changing her. You have to ask yourself if you're okay with standing over a crib, sometimes for long periods of time, trying to comfort a baby who is struggling to go back to sleep. I am not for co-sleeping by any means, but there were a few times when her dad or I would fall asleep with her laying on our chest while we sat up in bed because that was the only way she'd sleep. She started sleeping through the night (5-6 hours at a time) at 6 weeks, so that's when we moved her into her own room. I can't imagine having a newborn in a different room before then, but that's just my experience.

kwilliams3402 · March 2016

I'm hopeful to try crib-sleeping in the bedroom right next door as soon as we get home from the hospital, but open to doing a rock/play or bassinet if that's what it takes to get baby to sleep. All three are currently on the registry, because I'm taking more of the register for everything and see what we get and what works for individual baby approach. We're planning to actually have an adult bed in the nursery too for the first few months, and do split-night duty if needed. The adult-bed-in-nursery will be our current guest bed, a queen. I read the idea on the Baby KERF blog, and right now, for the first month, I like the theory of Mom sleeps uninterrupted in the master except when Dad brings baby in to nurse from 8 pm to 2 am and Dad sleeps in bed in nursery when baby is sleeping during that time, and then at 2, we switch and Dad gets 2-8 am uninterrupted and mom moves to nursery for baby duty. Dad will be on either full-time paternity leave or only working part-time for the first month, and I am someone who doesn't function/tends to catch every cold or bug without sleep, so at least in theory, this is our game plan.

Nikkoli98 · March 2016

A little off topic, but is anybody planning to use the Owlet baby monitor? Or know anybody using it?

Snaps816 · March 2016

Nikkoli98 said:

A little off topic, but is anybody planning to use the Owlet baby monitor? Or know anybody using it?

I'm really intrigued by it, and definitely considering getting one. I feel like it would be more useful to us than a regular monitor because our apartment is small (we will be able to hear the baby without a monitor). After seeing their website I was really excited -- but then I checked out the Amazon reviews, which cooled my excitement a bit. You might want to look at those. Even though the overall rating is high, users point out some flaws in the design/function of the product as well. Like frequent "warning" false alarms that actually wake the baby, the fact that the sock only fits on the left foot, and that it can easily get mixed up in the laundry and get ruined. Just things to think about.

mrsmommya · March 2016

STM here. We had a pack n play in our room, no need to buy a bassinet that you will only use for a short time. The pack n play we used for overnights at family members up until she was about 2 1/2 ish...so definitely got our money worth. We are using the same one for baby #2 and it has the bassinet attachment and the changing attachment too. We had it set up right next to our bed for about the first 3 months. I had a tap light on the nightstand and would just feed her when she woke, change if needed, and put her right back. I barely had to get out of bed. Plus I don't need her (new baby) waking up my daughter with her crying because their rooms are right by each other and our room is not.

ammnam14 · March 2016

Lurking (D15)

I can't recommend the arms reach co sleeper enough. We started out with a bassinet but she outgrew it very quickly. Having DD next to me just makes our lives so much easier and less worrisome.

Nikkoli98 · March 2016

@Snaps816, thanks for the tips. I will check out the reviews. :-)

BritMC18 · March 2016

We plan on doing the rock-n-play beside the bed just until baby is out of the every 2-hour feedings. So, probably 2-3 months-ish. After that her bedroom is literally across the hall so we'll move to the crib at that point. That's the plan, and things change so we'll see.

almostahawk · March 2016

I am a first time mum so I have no previous experience, but I just know I won't be relaxed enough to leave the baby in another room. We have recently moved into a 2 bedroom house, so there will be a nursery for bubs, but both my husband and I want the moses basket in our room. When DH goes back to work, I might sleep some nights in the second bedroom which has a single bed in it. Hubs says that he wants us both in the main bedroom with him, but he's an engineer and I would worry about his safety if he's going to work on machinery feeling too tired.

My mum co-slept with me and my SIL co-slept with all her three. If I hadn't read that it increases chance of cot-death, I'd probably be choosing that option.

angelob88 · March 2016

We are doing a bassinet for the first few months on my side of the bed. I wanted the arms reach co-sleeper and almost bought it the other day but my OH's grandmother bought us a bassinet the day after Easter so we'll save the money and use that instead. I'm a big believer in co-sleeping for the first few months and a bassinet next to the bed is pretty close. We can't have LO in the bed because my OH moves around too much. We're searching for a nursery set right now (the one thing I want to spend money on) and once we find that I'll feel better about everything.

ShanRum3 · March 2016

We have tried so many different things with our first 2, and I swore the second one would sleep in his crib in our room, from day 1! I was not going to bring him to bed to nurse him, my plan was to sit in the recliner and nurse, until one night I fell asleep while nursing him and my arm dropped, I was terrified I would drop him, so that was the end of that! I started bringing him to bed to nurse him and from then on, we co slept, until he was about 2 or so. It worked for us!
This time, I am getting a crib with a removable side, and we are attaching it to the side of our bed as a co sleeper, so he'll still be right next to me, but kind of in his own space. I plan to move the crib to the baby's room next spring, once he's about 7-8 months old. But even "the best laid plans often go awry!" I'm not opposed to full on co sleeping again, but if possible, I'd rather not.

texasmama2014 · March 2016

I feel like I should speak to co-sleeping and bed sharing...
Bed sharing: sleeping in the same space.
co-sleeping: sleeping in the same room, but necessarily not in the same bad/space (baby probably has own space, co sleeper attached to bed, RNP, PNP, etc.) Here is a link from Kellymom (a great breast-feeding resource site as well!) about co-sleeping/bed sharing. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome/basics/risk-factors/con-20020269

As for dangers with SIDS: Bed sharing can be dangerous. However, Sids risk is lower when the baby is in the room with the mom. If choosing to bed share, there are many ways to make it safer. Choosing a mattress that is firm, not using blankets especially on or near the baby, keeping the baby next to mom only- Dad's don't typically have the same awareness of the baby. SIDS can happen to anyone, but know the risk factors- smoking, blankets, bumpers on cribs, etc. can all be factors to SIDS. Whatever you choose to do, please do some research to make sure to lower the risk of SIDS!! Here is a link from Mayo Clinic detailing some risk factors for SIDS: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome/basics/risk-factors/con-20020269

Stephanie7693 · March 2016

Third time mom here. My second baby slept in a bassinet next to my bed for the first couple months, then in his crib in our room until about 8 months. Then to his crib in his own room across the hall.
This baby will probably have the same. But I plan on getting the chicco bassinet, which is bigger and deeper than most. The pnp won't fit next to my bed, but this bassinet will. Then when baby grows out of that he will probably go into the pnp on the other side of our room until he sleeps through the night. Our kids bedrooms are on the main level, and our room is in the basement. I love it this way, but it will be much harder with the baby for a while.
Also, with my second, I spent the first week or two sleeping on the couch with baby in the bassinet because my husband's job can be dangerous for him or others if he is super sleep deprived. Once I got to know what my son needed and when and how, then we were able to sleep in my room with minimal crying.

mooncusp22 · April 2016

I had DD in a bassinet next to my side of the bed. She went into her own room/crib at 3months old. Once she slept in her own room she (and we!) slept so much better. I think I may transition new baby earlier if all goes well. Nursery is right down the hall and we are in a ranch. The nursery and DD's new room share a wall so I am just worried if the baby crying will wake her up.

Mrsrundell · April 2016

I plan on using a rock n play next to my side of the bed for the first few months then transition to his crib. My DH sleeps like a rock so I'm not worried about him getting woken up - I'm worried the dog will bark randomly in the night and wake baby - our pup will do this if he hears someone outside the door but will stop once I command him to, it's just the inital bark I'm concerned about!

bananers · April 2016

DS1 was a horrible sleeper and didn't STTN until he was 9 months old. So the universe owes us a good sleeper this time, right?? Because DS was up so much and his room is on a different floor, he was in our room in a PNP until he was 6 months old. At least by then he was only up once or twice a night. I will fully admit, though, I often fell asleep while nursing him on my side, so he probably spent half the night in bed with us, something I was previously adamant I'd never do!

If this one is a better sleeper, we will make the transition sooner, because we really did sleep so much better (and so did he) once we were in separate rooms.

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