Unpopular Opinions - Page 2 — The Bump
September 2016 Moms

Unpopular Opinions

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Re: Unpopular Opinions

  • @diagonalley So adorable!  Knowing DH and I, our LO will not be the kind to sit still long enough for a clear photo, but you are definitely inspiring me to try it once LO arrives!
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  • @Jabreen   There are probably anywhere from 50-200 outtakes for each photo :)  That's the beauty of digital cameras!


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  • @Jabreen - yes, @diagonalley is so right.  You just have to click away like crazy and you'll get a couple good ones out of hundreds. Emmett is a mover and a shaker.. we take pics when we can and sometimes it just doesn't work, and you try again!
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  • I still kiss the boys on the lips, I know it will
    end soon and that's fine but if they come to me asking for a kiss, generally they offer their lips. 

    As for them seeing us naked, they have free reign of our house and I have had the curtain opened many times while I'm showering so my youngest can show me or tell me something. I'm not uncomfortable yet because they walked into my room and bathroom while I'm dressing. My oldest is starting to be more private with him being naked in front of me and vice versa.  

    My UO is if someone is throwing you a baby shower, then the least you could do is create a registry. One of my friends is having her shower this weekend and she told me yesterday that she never made her registry after I have been asking whether or not she did for almost a month. Looks like I get to enjoying guessing on what to get her. I just find it rude and inconsiderate to your guests. 
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  • My UO (sorry to those that do this!) is that I'm weirded out by parents that kiss their kids on the lips. I think it's inappropriate and unnecessary. It's like, why the lips? What's the problem with kissing on the cheek? I was watching a reality show and a mom gave her 20-something year old daughter a 3-second peck on the lips. Doesn't it ever get weird, though? I know some people don't do it past a certain age but I find it strange do it at all.

    Edit words
    Me too! My family is not very touchy. I cannot remember ever getting a kiss from my mom or dad. We do hugs, but usually they're just side-hugs. Because that's what we're comfortable with. DH's family is the polar opposite. His mom kisses my kids on the lips, which bothers me a lot. I'm actually going to tell them that we've started a rule that the kids can only kiss me, my husband, and their siblings. (this is a real thing, I was worried about my 4yr old going to preschool and kissing people who didn't want to be kissed) It makes things interesting when they visit. When MIL first saw me after she heard I was pregnant with our oldest she gave me these big huge hugs and would jump up and down at the same time. It was very awkward and she didn't listen to at all. Which made it more awkward and I had to have DH talk to her. I guess me saying "I don't like it when people hug me" didn't include her? 
    Anyways. I think kissing gown up children at all is weird. 
  • My (Maybe?) UO is that "Best Creme" is absolutely terrible on a cake and should never be put on it.. and absolutely should not have the word "best" in it. It is a poor excuse for frosting.

    I got so excited that a bday celebration I missed yesterday had leftover cake.. then I got a piece and noticed that it was "best creme"... I ate it anyways, but BLECH!
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  • @TheTamedShrew I remember my mom being naked around me up until I was about 7 (then she left so I don't know if she would've kept it up). I found it weird when I was that age but totally normal when I was younger, about 4 or 5. My dad always made a point of not letting us see him naked by always being covered up and dressing elsewhere. DH and I have talked about it and we won't let our kids see us naked past 1 or 2 just because we're modest people too and we both seem to agree on that point. I guess it could be a cultural thing for us (that and the kissing on the lips) since our families are Hispanics, don't know if that has anything to do with it. 

    Edit grammar, I suck with words today
    This is how my husband and I feel also. We don't have locking bedroom doors, but I make a point to ask the kids to leave the bedroom when I'm going to get dressed. I've also started making the 4 yr old get changed in her bedroom or the bathroom. She was changing into pjs at my mom's once and came out of the bathroom totally naked to ask me something. There were all kinds of people around and I realized I need to teach her about modesty. 
  • This potty training and peeing talk makes me think of how all these years, I've told my husband that if we ever have a boy, I will never take him to the bathroom in public. Ever. It's his turn. I've done my time and my share of getting interrupted mid-meal, dragging my distractable daughter to the bathroom, holding back puke while she touches EVERYTHING and then touches my face, squatting in a tiny stall while holding her on the toilet so she doesn't fall in to the bowl, only to have her smile at me and say, "Sorry mama, only farts." 

    I mean obviously if we have a boy, and I HAVE to take him to the bathroom because I'm the only one with him I will, but when we are all out together, my husband is on bathroom duty. Period. 
    This is so awesome and I'm totally doing the same thing. I asked DH to take our oldest to the bathroom once and he was like "I can't take her in the men's room!" So it's always on me. And since the men's room rarely has changing tables, I have to change all the diapers when we're out also. 
  • LeahKnitsLeahKnits
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
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    edited March 2016
    I am also not into breastfeeding photos. However, I did take one and shared it with some of my friends who'd been helping me through when my second was having trouble latching and my milk wasn't coming it. It was like a victory picture. But it isn't going to be public. At all. 

    edit cause I forgot some words. Pregnancy brain is brutal this time around. 
  • @LeahKnits my family is very affectionate and we did get lots of hugs and kisses growing up, just never on the lips. We're super affectionate with our nephews and love to smother them with kisses but we don't to the lips. I am similar to you with hugs and touching, though. I got that way after my mom left me when I was little even though my brothers are very touchy. It even took me awhile to open up to DH and let him touch me and hug me just because. I cringe when people hug me or touch my arm, even if they're family. 
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  • It sounds like the UO here is that I don't have any issues with family lip kissing, no matter the age. If it's a peck, I'm cool with cheek or lips. My dad gave me a quick smooch after he walked me up the aisle, my (same age male) cousin lip pecks hello, I kiss both my parents goodbye whenever go visit. My 2yo kisses me and my husband and our nanny and grands on the lips. She tends to give hugs to her friends. I guess I never thought about it (except snotty kisses, yuck!) It never really crossed my mind to think it might be seen as weird, but I totally get that everyone is used to different levels of affection. On of my best friends only goes for occasional awkward side hugs, but I still love her. Hubs and I are equitably affectionate, which works for us!
    Tippy05noelani42
  • AnnaS930 said:
    My (Maybe?) UO is that "Best Creme" is absolutely terrible on a cake and should never be put on it.. and absolutely should not have the word "best" in it. It is a poor excuse for frosting.

    I got so excited that a bday celebration I missed yesterday had leftover cake.. then I got a piece and noticed that it was "best creme"... I ate it anyways, but BLECH!
    I have never heard of "best creme". What is it? Like whipped cream or something? I totally could google, but lazy.
    bfp: 09.22.10   m/c 11.05.10 @ 10w5d
    bfp: 10.02.12  m/c 11.05.12 @ 9w3d
    bfp: 05.15.15  m/c 06.25.15 @ 9w6d
    bfp: 09.22.15  m/c 10.20.15 @ 8w1d

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  • steministsteminist
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited March 2016
    @abberson My family is the same way.  I can see where someone else might find it uncomfortable, but it's not like it's a long, romantic smooch!  Just a quick, fraction of a second peck.

    Edited to fix spelling...
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  • @0SeaMonkey0 I'm sorry if this sounds cold as it is not my intention but I feel that some people take their babies' health for granted sometimes when talking about the anatomy scan. 

    I'm a worrier and will worry over every little thing, is that supposed to look like that? Is there enough fluid? Is baby growing normally? Is that HR too fast/slow? And the last thing on my mind has always been the sex. I feel like I get a baby first, a tiny little human, and then I can worry about the sex.
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  • @0SeaMonkey0 - I agree with you, it is an anatomy scan. In my mind, I am such a worrier (Like @Always up above), so I do focus on the fact that we will learn the sex of the baby at the anatomy scan, because if I don't keep that silver lining in my mind then I will convince myself that it is a scan to look for something wrong with the baby. Having something to look forward to keeps me distracted while inside my stomach is in my throat with fear through the whole thing.  But I do call it an anatomy scan as I understand the significance of it (especially when my son hardly revealed his sex last time around - just emphasized the point that the scan really isn't about that).
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  • @LizC216 - Ugh, yes. It is a whipped cream topping. It's super light and fluffly, and is not the salty, sweet, buttery thickness that buttercream is. I just find it odd that it's called "best" and it's literally the WORST. I usually eat the cake without it if that's what on it... while with buttercream or other regular frostings I am all about the corner pieces.
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  • AnnaS930 said:
    @LizC216 - Ugh, yes. It is a whipped cream topping. It's super light and fluffly, and is not the salty, sweet, buttery thickness that buttercream is. I just find it odd that it's called "best" and it's literally the WORST. I usually eat the cake without it if that's what on it... while with buttercream or other regular frostings I am all about the corner pieces.
    Oh that is the worst! I'm all about the buttercream. I need that sweetness. Well I probably don't, but my sweet tooth tells me I do...ha!
    bfp: 09.22.10   m/c 11.05.10 @ 10w5d
    bfp: 10.02.12  m/c 11.05.12 @ 9w3d
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    bfp: 09.22.15  m/c 10.20.15 @ 8w1d

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    AnnaS930
  • Regarding the kissing on the lips, I also think it needs to stop at a certain age. I attended a wedding a while ago and during the couples' first dance, they kissed maybe twice. However, during the father daughter dance, the bride kissed her father (on the lips) about 7x and then I lost count and had to turn away bc I was really grossed out. 
    tinypikachuSLou24AnnaS930
  • @RedMar That sounds so uncomfortable. I'm with you on it fading away by a certain age. But I don't know what age exactly. I didn't kiss either of my parents on the mouth so it'll be interesting to see what I do with my own!
  • tinypikachutinypikachu
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited March 2016
    @Thscary tbh, when I posted my UO, I didn't expect lip kissing to be so common!  :D I was honest in my first post when I asked why as I had no idea why people did it and reading everyone's responses was insightful and I get it more now, I guess it's just not for everyone.

    Edit: specificity 
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  • It's that time again... everyone is starting to book their anatomy scans.  ANATOMY SCANS people.  Not gender scans!!!  It is only a gender scan if you book a private scan just to learn the baby's sex.  Otherwise it is an anatomy scan where you happen to be able to find out the sex.  It's a really important screening test to make sure that your baby is growing and developing normally!  

    Some people fight the sex. vs. gender battle, for me my pet peeve is referring to the 20 week scan as the gender scan.  I just feel too many people forget the importance of this scan is making sure your baby is healthy and that telling you the sex is just a nice thing that they do. 
    Yes! It's not a guaranteed thing that they'll be able to see anyways. Can't see anything if baby is crossing his/her legs! I'm pretty sure my OB's office won't schedule another ultrasound just to check the gender. 
    SarahDarah333Pepper6
  • @AlwaysAuntNeverMom DH and I had the same issues. He'd get hurt when I didn't want to kiss him in public. Like, at all. And I couldn't understand why he would stop touching me all the time. We've reached a happy in between area I think. No kissing in public, but we hold hands a lot and I've gotten used to him touching me. Mostly. 
  • @Thscary tbh, when I posted my UO, I didn't expect lip kissing to be so common!  :D I was honest in my first post when I asked why as I had no idea why people did it and reading everyone's responses was insightful and I get it more now, I guess it's just not for everyone.

    Edit: specificity 
    It's funny because a few weeks ago they were talking about this on the today show. There was apparently some backlash over a photo of bill belichek (not sure if it's spelled right and not sure if it was him or someone else?) lip kissing his adult daughter after A big football game. Kathy Lee and Hoda were discussing whether it was innappropriate and my husband and I were like "what's wrong with that?", turns out everyone is probably wondering what's wrong with us...
  • I'm late to the party but here's my two cents on lip kissing and nudity. I'm 31 and still kiss both of my parents on the lips. It's not weird, we are Mexican though so you pretty much cheek kiss everyone when you say hello and good bye. As far as kids lip kissing other adults that aren't their parents, my friends kids kiss me like that and they have no problem with it. My parents were also really affectionate growing up so kissing and physical affection is not weird to me. 
    As far as nudity, growing up in Mexico where we ran out of hot water, we did what's called "rotating showers" where my sister or I would start showering and right before we were almost done we would yell and the other one of us would jump in and then when that one was done we would yell for my mom and when she was almost done my dad would jump in. He was less offended by cold water so he didn't mind. I still see my mom and my sister naked on a regular basis (like when we go shopping we just use the same dressing room or if there's just one bathroom we just go in together). I don't think it's weird, we are just close I guess. I do remember that I was about 3 maybe 4 when my dad started covering up around us and will never see him in anything less than underwear 
    abberson
  • My UO this week- I CANNOT STAND that stupid Rihanna and Drake song, "Work." It sounds like she was injected with novocaine and her mouth isn't working properly, so she can't annunciate anything. And I like most music (except country, don't even get me started on that one), but this song is just garbage. Seriously, look up the lyrics for that song, it's freaking pitiful. And yet it's topping charts and playing constantly. UGH! 
    It is the absolute worst! Every time I hear it, I get a headache. 
    I'm 29, husband is 30
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  • I second (third) the Rihanna "Work" song. It makes me cringeeeeeee. What a waste of talent!
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  • The song sounds like a duck is quaking instead of her saying "work"!!!
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  • frogdog06frogdog06
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    edited April 2016
    JFC. It's okay for a pregnant woman to eat all sorts of processed foods but unpasteurized juice is a no-no? F me. Just had a huge cup from Apple HQ's cafeteria..that was more nutritious for me than McD could ever be!
  • My UO this week- I CANNOT STAND that stupid Rihanna and Drake song, "Work." It sounds like she was injected with novocaine and her mouth isn't working properly, so she can't annunciate anything. And I like most music (except country, don't even get me started on that one), but this song is just garbage. Seriously, look up the lyrics for that song, it's freaking pitiful. And yet it's topping charts and playing constantly. UGH! 
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  • tinypikachutinypikachu
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    edited April 2016
    AnnaS930 said:
    I'm just going to pop in here and say that choosing not to kiss your children on the lips and/or allow them to see you naked does not in any way suggest that you are not close to your children/comfortable with them.  I know I'm reading too far into it, but I keep seeing the pro-lip kissers with lines that are like "We're just close I guess" and that's all well and good, but I am extremely affectionate to my son and will be with this baby, it just doesn't include lip kissing for me. I think I'm clarifying a point that really didn't need to be clarified, I just want to say that. And although I pointed out that my family was not overly affectionate growing up, I've never doubted for a second that I was loved and valued in my family.

    Edited to shorten: Lip kissing your children and being close to them/showing them you love them do not have to equal each other, and more importantly a lack of doing so doesn't suggest a lack of closeness.
    PREACH! I disliked reading about being close or different levels of affection. I'm not put off by affection and got a lot of it growing up (I love to give affection but I just don't like to be touched by people other than DH and close family, that won't make me less of a loving mother). I was really put off by how it seems some might think I won't be close to my child or won't be affectionate enough, I don't want people thinking I won't love them enough because I won't lip kiss. As I said, where I'm from, no one does that and kids don't get any less affection. TBH, our reasoning is that we respect our kids' privacy and feel lip kissing is reserved for whoever they choose to do it with when they're older. Just because I want to smother them with kisses (which I do) doesn't mean I'll kiss every part of their bodies.
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  • My UO (sorry to those that do this!) is that I'm weirded out by parents that kiss their kids on the lips. I think it's inappropriate and unnecessary. It's like, why the lips? What's the problem with kissing on the cheek? I was watching a reality show and a mom gave her 20-something year old daughter a 3-second peck on the lips. Doesn't it ever get weird, though? I know some people don't do it past a certain age but I find it strange do it at all.

    Edit words

    To be fair, this is how the UO started. I don't think anyone implied that you wouldn't be close to your children with different personal space/boundaries for affection. But you did say you thought it was "weird" and "strange" and "inappropriate" and "unnecessary". I actually didn't have any issue with you saying any of those things, and I can see how some people would find it inappropriate, especially for older children, but I don't think anybody needs to be sensitive or feel criticized here. It's just a matter of preference.
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  • With lip kissing and nudity, I'm guessing it has mostly to do with how a person is raised. I remember lip kissing my mom and grandma until grade school. Likewise, because we were all females, I don't remember there being an age limit on when I'd see them naked. Honestly, I still changed in front of my brother well into my early 20s. We are talking while in bra and underwear, not nude, but I can see that being "weird" to some. I can't exactly remember when my dad started covering up, but he also was never naked in front of me much (mainly running from bathroom to bedroom).

    We lip kiss McKenna when she wants to, but will stop when she wants to as well. As for nudity, I thought we'd just play it by ear. If/when she starts displaying a desire to have more privicy is when I will start being more modest in front of her. DH will have to stop getting naked in front of her at some point, and I imagine that would happen when she starts noticing daddy's parts are different than hers. But I hadn't really thought about it yet with her only being a year and a half. 






  • @TheTamedShrew I think it is a matter of preference here but I was raised differently, where it isn't a matter of preference. Yes, that was my opinion, I thought it was weird, strange and inappropriate and, as I said before, I was asking why honestly because I didn't get it. I see it being made fun of on TV and stuff and had honestly no idea it was so common. When I read everyone's responses, I mentioned that it made sense now, even though I still won't do it. We won't change our opinions here and they won't all be popular,  hence the UO, but we can agree to disagree. 

    As far as the recent post, I don't think lip kissing has anything to do with different levels of affection as this implies that I will give my kid less affection because I don't lip kiss. This is why I would hate to see people (and I guess I should've specified people here and IRL, not just the people that implied this) think that I am less affectionate or loving because I don't lip kiss. There are things that are normal to me that are weird to others and vice versa, and that's life. To me, it's something that I found to be weird because, as I said, in all my life I only ever saw one parent lip kissing.
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  • @AlwaysAuntNeverMom I certainly don't think choosing not to lip kiss means you are less affectionate towards your kid. As I expressed in my post, it's one of the ways that I personally display affection to my kids, but it's certainly not the only or most important way. I think a lot of posters saying "we are just close/ affectionate" is a way of saying "we don't have those boundaries" in a way that makes sense to their reasoning for lip kissing (ie affection), not to come off as "you aren't as affectionate as I am". 
    abbersonTippy05tinypikachumarikkita12
  • Please everyone remember this is an UO post. While UO will be unpopular or offensive to some, I don't believe anyone would post something to intentionally criticize someone, at least I would hope not. But the nature of an UO post is that some may be offended.  Remember everyone here seems to respect one another and don't take anything too personally or harshly.

    My UO is related to music. I saw it mentioned that the new Rihanna song is disliked. For me it's the dozen Justin Beiber songs that are on every station! I'm really not a fan of him or his music.

  • My parents would always walk around the house in their underwear.  Not naked, but definitely not very modest. However, that was never the norm for my brothers and I - we are all very modest. My brothers even tend to wear a t-shirt while swimming.  But modesty must skip a generation. My brother and SIL have struggled to teach their son modesty and he has gotten in trouble at school about it. He would run around naked in public if he could. And he is 9.



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